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Г‰Dealing with Difficult
Г‰Hoarding and How
People in the Workplace
to Cope
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Г‰Win Smile Assistance from Dr. Stephen
Markus’ Center for Dentistry
The Thinking Woman’s
Magazine
Vote for
Deidre
Hall
SEE PAGE
Talks About
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Her Life
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contents
Girlfriendz Magazine VOLUME 5 Д• ISSUE 2 Д• MARCH/APRIL 2012
features
16 Special Advertising Section:
Happy Home Improvement
departments
COLUMNS
11
Enterprising Girlfriendz:
Lynda Kane
12
On the Nightstand
18
Two Girlfriendz on a Journey
BY TOBI SCHWARTZ-CASSELL
19 Spring Cleaning on Steroids:
Hoarding and How to Cope
BY THERESA WRIGHT, PhD
CONTESTS
16
22 Deidre Hall:
Talks About the Days of
Her Life
43
New! The Girlfriendz-Center
for Dentistry “Smile Makeover”
Contest!
43
Contest Winners:
The Girlfriendz-Studio K “Photo
Shoot” Contest
You’re
athome at
TheWestonClub
Whether you’re enjoying a cup of coffee
with a new friend or a gourmet
dinner in the restaurant with your family,
you know you’re home.
Add the heated atrium pool, fitness center,
library, movie theater,
card rooms. Cultural activities and
courtesy limo and you could imagine
yourself in a lavish resort.
Come experience
The Weston Club A
Premier Retirement
Community
Where you get to Keep Your Nest Egg!
The Weston Club is a No Entrance Fee/No Buy-In
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BY MARIA MICOLUCCI
26 Do You Need a Probiotic?
Go With Your Gut!
The Weston Club Marlton, NJ
856-988-7575 www.davisenterprises.com
BY ROZANNE GELBINOVICH
34
each issue
28 The Story of a Survivor
BY DAWN JONES
32 Dealing with Difficult People
6
From the Editor
8
GirlfriendzTalk:
Letters to the Editor
10
Hot Stuff
14
Tech.Know BY HOWARD YERMISH
6ObS5g[a-A]R]eS
40
Girlfriendz Events & Appearances
7<B@=2C17<5B63E=@:[email protected]/CB=;/B32>[email protected]=</:B@/7<7<5ABC27=
42
Boomer Humor BY ROZ WARREN
44
Among Friendz BY PATRICIA QUIGLEY
9]Y]4Wb1ZcPVOa`SW\dS\bSRbVSUg[PgQ`SObW\UO^ZOQSeVS`SSOQVSfS`QWaSWaQcab][WhSR
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BY VICTORIA HANDFIELD, PsyD
34 I Want to Play Dress Up!
BY SANDI TUTTLE
36 The Cat Who Came to Dinner
BY NICOLE PENSIERO
39 Cosmetic Dentistry:
There’s More to it Than Meets
the Eye
L,
SSELL
D JARDIN CA
ND
EN
RIIE
FR
JUNIOR GIRL
2003
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BY TOBI SCHWARTZ-CASSELL
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ON THE COVER
Scan this
code to
visit our
website!
Our cover model is actress and author Deidre Hall who portrays Dr. Marlena Evans
on Days of Our Lives. For more information on Ms. Hall and to purchase her book
How Does She Do It?, visit her website at www.deidrehall.me. Catch her on Facebook
at www.facebook.com/pages/Deidre-hall/26404831327 and on Twitter at www.twitter.
com/deidrehall. Her story begins on page 23 of this issue of Girlfriendz.
Our cover’s “retro item” is an historic Days of our Lives hourglass from the Days of
our Lives set at NBC Studios in Burbank, California. Our photo shoot took place at
the Caffeinated Coffee Shop in Salem on the set of Days of Our Lives.
Our cover shot and the photo on page 22 were taken by Paul Skipper of John Paschal
International Photography, West Hollywood, California. www.JPIstudios.com
2
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GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
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[email protected]=7<7<5433'DOZcS
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Girlfriendz: The Thinking Woman’s Magazine.
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
5
FROM THE
editor
Sometimes, What Goes Around Comes Around. Twice.
I have always been, and always will be, a Barbie Girl. My collection
started with a hand-me-down Barbie and her sparse wardrobe. She had
a long blonde pony tail and one leg. I
didn’t even want to speculate on what
had happened to the amputated limb.
I just avoided dressing her in the pants
she showed up with, and opted instead
for her long, pink gown.
On my next birthday, my parents
gave me a brand new Barbie with all four
appendages and a beautiful platinum
blonde “bubble” hairdo. I was positively
euphoric! Barbie and Barbie had a lot of
fun together, as did I, their puppeteer.
As time went on, Ken joined in to make
TOBI SCHWARTZ-CASSELL,
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
it a plutonic threesome. The Barbies’
[email protected]
wardrobe grew, with both store-bought
clothes and handmade pieces my mom would design and knit for them.
Those girls were stylin’! But when they’d get dressed up to step out for
the evening, all Ken had to choose from was a golf ensemble and swim
trunks. Eventually, Ken and the Barbies acquired a knock-off “11.5-inch
doll” doctor’s office with cardboard snap-together furniture. Ken was
awarded his MD and a doctor’s suit and one of the Barbies got a nurse’s
uniform, complete with a starched white cap. It sounds kind of weird now,
but this was the 60s and though Mattel made career clothes for Barbie
and Ken, they didn’t make attire for female doctors and male nurses.
Just the other day, I had a discussion with two other Barbie Girls—
Catherine Allen of M Financial Planning and Bobbie Jo Grace of Southern United Title. (Yes, this is what happens when women convene for a
business meeting—or at least, a Girlfriendz Magazine business meeting.)
Bobbie Jo had a typical Barbie family with Barbie, Ken and Skipper.
I’m guessing Ken was an insurance agent, Barbie was a homemaker
and president of the PTA, and Skipper was a typical п¬Ѓfth grade girl who
turned her nose up at spinach. Catherine’s Barbies, on the other hand,
only owned outfits that corresponded to a career. She remembers naming
one of her Barbies “Tina,” and writing curt notes to Ken like:
Make your own dinner tonight, Ken.
Signed,
Tina
Catherine does not remember what Ken had done to provoke Barbie’s…I mean Tina’s…ire. And just like with my uni-leg Barbie, I chose not
to speculate. Eventually, Tressy joined my collection. (Remember her?
She had a short brown haircut with a ponytail at the top of her head. You
could pull the ponytail and it would grow all the way down to her feet! I
never could п¬Ѓgure out where all that hair was hidden, but again, I chose
not to speculate.) Rounding out my collection was “Hi Heidi.” Much
shorter than the 11.5-inch dolls, all she owned was the red dress on her
back. But who cared? When you pushed the button on her tummy, her
right arm would whip up toward the sky as if she were saying, “Hi!” So
6
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
there they were—My Barbie Collection—Ken, Tressy, Hi Heidi, Barbie and
Barbie. They made a cozy, sexless home in the cardboard doctor’s office
(we couldn’t afford a Dream House) and they all lived happily ever after.
Until...
One Saturday afternoon when I was in middle school, I decided to
visit my Barbie Collection. I went down to the basement and couldn’t
find it. My mom told me she and my dad had given it away. Gone—lock,
stock and doctor’s office. I was furious! How could they have done this
to me?! Naturally, my mom apologized profusely for not having checked
with me first. She and my dad had assumed I wasn’t interested in playing
with dolls anymore. Annoyed, I accepted the apology. After all, they were
correct in their assumption. But it took a long time to get over it.
I eventually did, of course, especially after they told me who they’d
given it to. He was a man my dad worked with. They were a family in
need and my parents wanted to help. So my Barbie Collection became his
daughter’s Christmas present that year. And this time, I allowed myself
to do a little speculation. I envisioned
visioned her having a lot of fun with Barbie,
Barbie and the girls. Ken, too,
o, even though his flocked hair had rubbed
away long before. I’d taken care
are of business with
a black magic marker and hee looked just п¬Ѓne.
In fact, the whole thing was
as п¬Ѓne because
the nameless little girl was giving my old
Barbies a new life.
It wasn’t until years later that I realized
what my parents really had in
n mind. Though
the phrase “paying it forward”
d” wasn’t in popular
usage back then, that’s what they were doing. And it
all started with some really nice person at my
dad’s work who, so many years
rs before, had
given him a blonde one-legged
gged Barbie
doll to give to his daughter.
mixellaneous
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Warmly,
PS: The story has a second happy ending. My dear childhood friend
nd Barbara
(who used to play Barbies with me)
went on eBay and found an exact
duplicate of my platinum blonde
bubble-head Barbie, and gave
ve it to me
for my 40th birthday. She’s pictured right
here!
PPS: What’s your Barbie story?
ry? Please share
it with me at [email protected]
zmag.com or on
Facebook at www.facebook.com/girlfriendz,
com/girlfriendz,
and if you give me permission,
n, I’ll put it in the
next issue of Girlfriendz Magazine.
gazine.
##!"# # "#! ! !"##!#" "
!#########!" ""
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
7
GIRLFRIENDZ
letters
FREE VEIN SCREENING
[email protected]
TURN VARICOSE VEINS
into beautiful legs.
We LOVE to hear from our girlfriendz!
Carole Simpson: A True S/hero!
CAROLE SIMPSON: A GROUNDBREAKER
WHO CONTINUES TO STAND HER GROUND
BY MARIA MICOLUCCI (VOLUME 5, ISSUE 1)
my BFF for the past 30 years. We laughed
when we realized we both loved Nancy Drew
Mysteries but I was the one with the Barbie
with unmoveable legs! Thanks for creating a
magazine for us Pioneering Women who can
do it all—home, work and fun!
Susan Rothschild, Salem
You are like a BFF! Great advice, fun events,
local shopping—all things my BFF and I share.
And when your magazine arrives, just like my
BFF, that equals “me” time! Thanks for being
my BMF (Best Magazine Forever)!
Margie Datz, Woodbury
I received the Jan/Feb issue today and am
so excited that my “s/hero” Carole Simpson
graces the cover! I have admired Ms. Simpson
for many years and she has been a role model
to me as I watched her anchor ABC World
News Tonight Sunday. During her 25 year
career at ABC News, she endured racism and
sexual harassment. I’m so happy that you are
sharing Carole’s story with us. I can’t wait to
read the cover story and her new memoir—
“NewsLady.” Thank you!
Karen Johnson, PhD, Author, “Beyond
the Body! Developing Inner Beauty”
I really enjoyed and was inspired by the
feature article on Carole Simpson. She broke
many barriers, but the most important one
was to inspire other women to believe in
themselves and to encourage women to
work with each other. Oftentimes, we see
each other as rivals and do not celebrate
the accomplishments of other women. I
firmly believe the only way the “glass ceiling”
will ever be broken is if women support,
encourage and promote other women. Just
think how many women in corporations and
small business would thrive and how many
more opportunities could be created! Thank
you Carole Simpson for your courage!
Francesca Hahn, Marlton
Remembering Nancy Drew
and Barbie, too
Just viewed Girlfriendz for the п¬Ѓrst time with
I love Girlfriendz Magazine! It makes you feel
like you have girlfriends even if you don’t.
The articles and events have connected me
to many people—people I would probably
never have met if I did not subscribe to this
magazine. Thank you for being my girlriend.
Andrea Peebles, Marlton
Here’s to the Pioneers
PARENT PIONEERS HELPING PARENTS OF
CHILDREN WITH AUTISM AND ASPERGER’S
BY JACKIE PANTALIANO
(VOLUME 5, ISSUE 1)
I thoroughly enjoyed the article by Jackie
Pantaliano in the Jan/Feb issue, and
especially enjoyed the note about “Sheldon”
from The Big Bang Theory. I hope the story
of my son Bob, now 22, will be an inspiration.
My husband and I feel he might be seen as
the exception when it comes to Asperger’s
as he graduated Cum Laude from Concordia
College, NY with a degree in social work and
is receiving his Masters from the University of
Pennsylvania. He says he wants to give back
to all those who helped him. Like the parents
in your article, I am also concerned about his
success in the outside world and just want
him to be happy. When he was growing up,
the groups you mentioned at the end of the
article were not available, but I will pass this
info on to him. Thanks so much for affirming
that I, as a parent, am not alone, and for
offering the info for Bob.
Pat Schmus, Voorhees
I loved this article! Jackie presented some
of the different types of Aspies along with
how/when they were diagnosed. Sure wish
Brian had been diagnosed sooner than age
21! The “name” for all his quirks just helps
Join us for a FREE SCREENING!
explain those quirks. But he never learned to
deal with his behavior. Thank you for a great
article.
Linda Mackey, via the Girlfriendz Website
Great article Jackie! You really captured
what each of these families are yearning for
and that is for their child to have meaningful
work and meaningful relationships. Nothing
different from what we all strive for!
Barbara Abrams, Director, Special Needs
Program, Jewish Family & Children’s Services,
Cherry Hill
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JOE NAMATH AND THE FLOWERS BY
KATHY WEYER (VOLUME 5, ISSUE 1)
Joe knew back then what we all know—you
deserve yellow roses on each and every
birthday–past, present and future, to bring
back those shrieks of glee!
Marcee, via the Girlfriendz Website
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Great fun! Those unforgettable moments that
make ordinary life seem drab in comparison.
Here’s to our Broadway Joes.
Karen Stephen, via the Girlfriendz Website
Loved it! Good memories of school days and
fake IDs. Never met Joe Namath, though.
Maureen, via the Girlfriendz Website
Howard to the Rescue!
CONFUSED ABOUT LINKEDIN? HOW TO
MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU BY HOWARD
YERMISH (VOLUME 4, ISSUE 4)
I appreciated the article Howard Yermish did
on LinkedIn! Excellent info! He broke it down
to language that even a business newcomer
like me could relate to.
Stella Collington, Rastelli Direct, Diamond
Business Partner
Where DO All Those Socks
End Up?
LIFE’S GREATEST MYSTERIES BY PATRICIA
QUIGLEY (VOLUME 5, ISSUE 1)
Loved this article by Patricia Quigley. I don’t
like top 10 lists, I have no time for lying and I
have given up on trying to match the socks in
our house. It just isn’t going to happen.
Donna Marie Spagnolia, Marlton NJ
g
Send your comments to: [email protected]
We reserve the right to edit correspondence for space.
8
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girlfriendz
Q: What makes Aenigma different?
A: My staff (which includes Marilyn!) and I
pride ourselves on being personal jewelry
and gift consultants. We take the time to
п¬Ѓnd just the right piece for just the right occasion, whether our customer is the mother
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Lynda Kane is living her dream. As owner of
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is a work day, but that’s purely by design. On
a recent Caribbean vacation, her daughter
implored her to stop working. “But I couldn’t!”
she said. “When I’m away for too long, I miss
what I do!”
Q: How did you decide to make a career of
accessories?
A: When I was a little girl, my parents traveled
extensively. My sister Marilyn and I would
always wait eagerly to п¬Ѓnd out what treasures
they’d bring home for us. That’s how I fell in
love with beautiful jewelry and clothing, and
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ENTERPRISING
Q: When did you begin your jewelry and
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A: I started it in 1991. Since then, I’ve visited
Colombia, Yugoslavia, Thailand, India, Mexico, Singapore and Turkey to work with tradi-
Q: What is the most rewarding aspect of
owning and operating Aenigma?
A: Meeting great people on a daily basis and
traveling the world to buy inventory that will
bring smiles to our customers’ faces.
tional craftsmen to п¬Ѓnd and design quality,
one-of-a-kind pieces. At the beginning, I’d sell
them to retail shops and at shows throughout
the country. Then I opened my own gallery—
the original Aenigma in Philadelphia’s Old
City. After six years, in July 2007, I moved to
my current location in Collingswood, and I’ve
never looked back.
Q: How do you give back to the community?
A: Before starting Aenigma, I specialized in
doing fundraisers for both profit and nonprofit organizations. All organizations want
to make a difference in people’s lives, and the
organizations I’ve been a part of are no different. So it’s been an honor and a privilege
to know that I am part of the difference they
have made.
Offering a full bridal jewelry collection, free gift wrap and fundraising opportunities for your organization,
Aenigma is located at 6 Powell Lane, Collingswood just off Haddon Avenue. 856-833-9200, www.aenigmajewelry.com.
WISH YOU COULD WEAR
BARBIE SHOES? NOW
YOU CAN!
Finally! We can all п¬Ѓt into
Barbie shoes! Twentysomething Sara Gallo loves
Barbie and shoes. So, in
addition to handmade п¬Ѓne
sterling silver pieces, she
has ventured into a new
medium—Barbie shoes! See
her complete line of colors and
exclusive designs of bracelets,
necklaces and earrings in
boutiques and on her website,
www.saragallo.com. Garden
Party Bracelet, $40
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Vegetabowls is the brainchild
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veggies and inspiration. They
bring home their bounty and cast
Vegetabowls from the actual fruits
or vegetables, to produce these
authentic looking bowls that are
dishwasher safe. Each painted with
non-toxic, food-safe glaze.
www.vegetabowls.com.
Cantaloupe bowl, $22
Want to Learn More?
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GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
11
ON THE
nightstand
Book Reviews
What do Girlz like? We have a pretty good idea
(we’re girls, too), but we want to hear it from you!
This is your chance to tell us what restaurants you
like, as well as your favorite hair salon, spa and
places to shop.
BY GIRLFRIENDZ STAFF AND READERS
Fresh & Easy Kosher Cooking: Ordinary Ingredients, Extraordinary
Meals by Leah Schapira. Like the ad campaign from the 60s, “You
Don’t Have to Be Jewish to Love Levy’s,” you
don’t have to be Jewish to love this cookbook. If you happen to be a kosher cook, the
resources provided are wonderful. Ms. Schapira shows how to use simple, fresh ingredients to create tasty meals, and, as she says, “I
like to use ingredients from my pantry, adding new twists and improving on techniques.”
Molly Lou Conrad, Girlfriendz Administrative Assistant
Following Atticus, Forty-eight High Peaks, One Little Dog, And an
Extraordinary Friendship, by Tom Ryan, is simply a beautiful, inspiring
book. It’s a true story of an overweight, middle-aged man’s experience
with an incredible little schnauzer, named Atticus. Ryan shares how
he п¬Ѓnds adventure mountain-climbing with his dog, but mainly how
he п¬Ѓnds himself and in turn impacts others. For anyone who has ever
known the unending devotion of a pet dog and for those yet to experience it, this is a winner that will leave you smiling through your tears.
Jack Kennedy: Elusive Hero by Chris Matthews. I’m not a huge nonfiction fan, but Matthews’ extensive research and hours of conversations
with friends and colleagues of President John F. Kennedy combine to
make this absorbing reading. Behind-the-scenes situations, both personal
and political, shed new light on what it was really like in the Camelot of the
early 60s and before. Tracing Kennedy’s life from earliest childhood to that
last day in Dallas, Matthews reintroduces us to one of his obvious idols in a
way that gives us a deeper understanding of what made the president tick.
VOTE for what you like at
www.girlfriendzmag.com/whatgirlzlike
Jeanne Smith, Girlfriendz Senior Copyeditor
Shockaholic by Carrie Fisher. Reading this is like hanging out with a
brilliant, self-absorbed, wise-cracking friend who talks nonstop about
herself—but she�s so funny and has such a fascinating life that you
hang on every word. Topics include her famous mother (and flatulent stepfather), her friendship with Liz Taylor, the birthday she celebrated with Michael Jackson shortly before his death, and of course,
that infamous metal bikini. Fisher also talks frankly about mental illness, her struggle with addiction and why she п¬Ѓnally turned to shock
therapy. Shockaholic is a fun, funny and surprisingly moving book.
Rosalind Warren, Girlfriendz Writer
g
Tell Us What You
Like and Win!
Here’s what you can win!
At Shiseido Lord & Taylor, Moorestown* you and four (4)
of your BFFs will each win a Shiseido Benefiance Wrinkle
Resist 24 Intensive Eye Contour Cream PLUS a facial or
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Deadline: 6/15/12 at 11:59 PM.
*The party at Lord & Taylor, Moorestown will be booked at winners’ convenience, but all five BFFs must come at the same time to receive
her eye cream and facial or makeover. The party must be held before December 31, 2012.
Jackie Pantaliano, Girlfriendz Writer
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We know. We understand. We can help.
It’s all we do.
Call today to discover how Arden
Courts can make a difference in your’s
and your loved one’s lives.
856.833.9200
aenigmajewelry.com
Shoppes at the LumberYard
6 Powell Lane . Collingswood, NJ . 08108
(off Haddon Avenue)
12
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
Memory Care Community
2700 Chapel Avenue West
Cherry Hill, NJ 08002
(856) 667-6543
www.arden-courts.com
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
13
TECH
know
Warning:
SmartPhones Can Be Beneficial to Your Health!
BY HOWARD YERMISH
IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY DAY, I FIND MORE
THINGS I CAN DO WITH MY SMARTPHONE. The technology has opened up so
many possibilities, and takes advantage of
lots of great apps. In this issue, we’re going to
focus on how our smartphones can help maintain and even assist in improving our health.
Though some of the following apps can
be accessed on an Android, the majority are
compatible with the iPhone because of its
standard hardware port that enables plug-ins.
Many manufacturers are working on
Android compatibility, but lacking the standard interface, plug-ins would have to be different from manufacturer to manufacturer
and model to model. Android customers
can opt for mobile apps and devices like the
Fitbit (below) because there’s no need for a
direct connection.
2. FITBIT ULTRA’ — $100 (iPhone/iPad/Android)
You could consider the Fitbit a pedometer for
the digital age. It tracks the number of steps
you take, the stairs you climb, calories burned,
activity levels and sleep patterns. The Fitbit is
small and light enough (0.4 oz) to tuck into
a pocket or wear discretely on a belt. (The
manufacturer claims it’s light enough to wear
on a bra strap.) You get about 3 days of use
on a charge, and the included charger connects with your computer (PC or Mac) to send
data to a tracking website, with which you
can use an iPhone app to track progress. The
free mobile application also allows you to log
14
3. GOMEALS — Free
CareOne at Evesham Assisted Living
(iPhone/Android)
Busy lives make it more important than ever to
know how many calories, fats and carbs are in our
foods. It’s the best way to keep a diet on track.
GoMeals allows you to search the 60,000 items
in its food database, and shows full nutritional
information. GoMeals will display your meal history for the last 7 or 30 days to help you stay
focused. You can even use its restaurant locator
and browse built-in menus complete with nutritional information so you can choose restaurants
with healthier options.
4. SANOFI DIABETES IBGSTAR™ — around $80
(iPhone/iPod touch)
2
1. WITHINGS BLOOD PRESSURE MONITOR —
$129(iPhone/iPad/iPod touch)
In addition to their popular body scale, Withings sells a blood pressure monitor that connects to an iPhone, iPad or iPod touch. Wrap
the cuff around your arm and connect a cable
to your iPhone to launch the application. It
saves a record of your systolic and diastolic
blood pressure as well as your heart rate. It
also provides graphs of your blood pressure
data, and a quick tap generates an email you
can send to your doctor. Withings has also
partnered with a number of medical records
services including Microsoft HealthVault, so
your data is synchronized automatically. You
can track your blood pressure data with your
body weight using their scale and everyone in
your house can share the same equipment as
the app tracks multiple people.
1
food intake and track workouts. Fitbit also has a
social element, allowing you to share with friends,
ask questions in the forum and create your own
private groups for a little competition.
3
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
CareOne’s philosophy of caring includes attention to the social, physical,
spiritual, and emotional needs of every individual.
Already available in Germany, France, Switzerland, the Netherlands and Italy, the iBGStarв„ў
Blood Glucose Monitoring System plugs directly
into the iPhone or iPod touch, and its accompanying app displays results immediately after testing.
The iBGStarв„ў Diabetes Manager App analyzes
glucose patterns over time. In addition to normal
recording and tracking, you can track carbohydrate intake and insulin doses. Scorecards show
individual test results and are color-coded so high
and low blood glucose results can be more easily identified. The �Share’ function enables users
to select specific data to email to a healthcare
professional. The application can be downloaded
free from the App Store.
Sanofi US and its partner AgaMatrix have
announced that the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) granted 510(k) premarket clearance
in December 2011 for the iBGStarв„ў Blood Glucose
Monitoring System, although no official availability date has been announced.
Residents at CareOne at Evesham Assisted Living enjoy a full menu of
programs and services designed to meet their personal needs, desires and
preferences. Our assisted living life enrichment activities programs were
created to promote wellness and maximize independence.
Residents enjoy:
t
t
t
t
t
t
t
Private dining room with gourmet dining and dietary considerations
24-hour emergency response system
Personal care assistance
Access to laundry facilities
On-site health care services
Daily activities and programs
Memory support care services, including memory stimulation programs
g
[ LEARN MORE ABOUT IT ]
874 Route 70 East, Marlton, NJ 08053
1IPOFt'BY
FITBIT ULTRA
www.п¬Ѓtbit.com/product
GOMEALS
www.GoMeals.com
www.care-one.com
403675
SANOFI DIABETES IBGSTARв„ў
www.ibgstar.us
WITHINGS BLOOD PRESSURE
MONITOR
www.withings.com/en/bloodpressuremonitor
4
Howard Yermish works with small and medium enterprises on their Internet strategy, online marketing,
user experience design, website usability, information
architecture, application specification and application
design. His new project, “More Digital Referrals” is
an online course delivered via email several times a
week, with step-by-step instructions, video tutorials
and downloadable materials you can use right away. Learn more and
register for free at http://moredigitalreferrals.com.
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
15
S P EC I A L A DV E RT I S I N G S ECT I O N
Trends: What’s hot?
Competition: What’s your difference?
Happy Home
Improvement
Debbie of Décor & You: We don’t necessarily focus on the latest
interior design trends. It may sound a bit strange, but most of our
clients seek a fully decorated look that has more “staying power.”
Our online style guide illustrates various decorating ideas like a
Town and Country expression or Eco-Chic Groove, but since your
room is your private oasis it should reflect your personal vision.
Being trendy is great fun, but you have to be able to live with it
and love it!
Brian: Beneficial (now serving South Jersey) is the oldest and
largest bank headquartered in Philadelphia, helping customers
for close to 160 years. All decision-making is local and we service
nearly every loan we make. We offer savings programs as well as
a full array of loan products that include personal, home equity,
conventional and renovation programs.
BY TO B I S C H WA RT Z- CAS S E L L
Finances: Show me the money
Chris of Oak Mortgage: Refinancing your home may
free up money and provide the most cost effective way to
complete your renovation. And because rates remain at 60
year lows, we’ve seen many clients lower the years on their
mortgage while п¬Ѓnancing their project. For example, going
from a 30-year п¬Ѓxed to a 15-year п¬Ѓxed could potentially keep
monthly payments close to what you’re already paying,
while saving you tens of thousands in interest over the term
of the loan.
Brian of Beneficial: It begins with a conversation about your
objectives. From there, we make recommendations on how
to save for or п¬Ѓnance the project. The choices for someone
looking at a $1,000 remodel are very different from someone
with a $100,000 budget. However, no project is too small and
many of our loan programs have absolutely no fees.
We even have a program specifically designed for the major
renovation of a home.
Doing some spring remodeling?
How exciting! But once you’re
fully involved, your excitement
may wane. In her latest book
Renovation Bootcampв„ў: Design
and Remodel Your Kitchen
Without Losing Your Wallet,
Your Mind, or Your Spouse,
author Robin Siegerman reveals
tips to make the process more
manageable and less stressful.
Her advice: set a realistic budget,
understand how long it will take
and be sure to have detailed
drawings. Our local experts offer
strategies of their own to get you
from A to B, happily.
Barbara of BB’s: My goal is to help my clients avoid
spending money. Invariably, once we’ve sorted and
purged, we п¬Ѓnd they already have storage containers
to house what they’ve decided to keep. That said, some
of my favorite organizing products are: Command
Stripsв„ў, plastic see-through boxes with clip-on lids
and label makers. I offer BB’s Brilliant Box System—an
affordable, easy way to keep track of your receipts, bills
and papers. It includes the actual п¬Ѓle box and detailed
instructions on how to use the system which manages
your paperwork and your time.
Steve of Matteo: Trends in our business include
kitchen backsplashes that use glass and mosaic as accents and
borders. Very hot: pre-sealed Travertine tiles. For countertops:
granite, quartz—stone in general. For backsplashes: stone
mixtures with glass for a pop of color. Wood cabinets: warm
darker tones with lighter colorful glass.
Teri of Closet Gallery: Mudrooms have been very popular. With
active lifestyles, having everything organized, eliminates chaos
when you are rushing to get to the next activity
Andee of Melange: Many people are holding onto their homes
and updating with color. Wall art is inexpensive and can change
the style and feel of any room. Changing pillows on your couch or
adding a new accent piece can do the same. Bold colors like red
can give your room a real lift.
Trust: The main ingredient
Steve: Always look at how long
g a company
p y has been in business,
urchasing materials. Who will
especially when it comes to purchasing
be there for you if a problem arises
rises down the road? We always
handle the warranty issues and
d hold every п¬Ѓle for just such
reasons.
OUR EXPERTS:
Barbara Berman, Owner, BB’s Clutter Solutions, Cherry Hill, www.bb-clutter-solutions.com
Teri Fisher, Owner/Designer, Closet Gallery, Medford, www.theclosetgallery.com
Steven Matteo, Co-Owner, Matteo Family Kitchens, Inc, Woodstown, www.matteokitchens.com
Chris Murray, Senior Loan Officer (NMLS# 251895), Oak Mortgage Company, Marlton,
www.christophermurray.oakmortgageusa.com/
Brian Myers, Director of Consumer & Residential Lending, Beneficial Bank, Philadelphia,
www.thebeneficial.com
Andrea Saper, Owner, Melange Home DГ©cor & More Than Gifts, Marlton,
www.morethangiftsmarlton.com
Debbie Titus, DecorDesigner & Design Business Manager, Serving Camden and Burlington
Counties, www.decorandyou.com/dtitus
16
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
Debbie: A good decorator actss as a style supporter
and trusted advisor who’s not solely focused on
the sales process. Spend time talking with the
ening carefully
decorator to be sure she is listening
ural and fun
to you. It should feel like a natural
process.
Barbara: You need to trust the person,
feel like she’s listening to yourr needs. And
depending on what she does, find out if she’s
insured and/or bonded.
Teri: First impressions are important;
portant; however
a company needs to back theirr products
and services. Closet Gallery offers
ffers a lifetime
warranty on our products and services.
Chris: Our local office in Marlton is where every aspect of your loan
is handled. Oak is a responsive member of the community and has
been providing mortgages in New Jersey
for more than 14 years. Our staff members
live locally, are extremely accessible and
are here to answer all your questions. This
leads to a streamlined closing and a very
smooth experience.
Steve: We apply ZERO pressure. We’ll
design your entire job—layouts to color
scheme—free! We’ll remove existing hard
surface floors (hardwood and ceramic)
to install newer products (the big box
stores don’t offer these services). We have
a complete showroom and will come to your home to measure, ask
questions and offer suggestions.
Teri: Customer service and attention to detail. We work very closely
with all of our customers and pride ourselves in the relationships we
form.
Andee: We carry pieces you won’t find in other stores because we
purchase everything from vendors who don’t sell to other stores in
our area. We’re also constantly bringing new things into our store,
so all inventory is fresh and new.
Barbara: Because I work with clients one-on-one, I motivate them to
be more productive and efficient and help them develop strategies
to stay organized
permanently. I listen
to their stories without
judgment, like to make
them laugh and have
fun, and help them see
this is not something
to be dreaded. On the
other hand, if we’re
organizing and purging
as a result of the loss
of a loved one, I let them know that crying in
front of me
m or being upset is п¬Ѓne. I respect their
individu
individuality and work at their pace.
Debbie
Debbie: We blend solid project management
skills and
a design expertise using what we call
the Styl
Styleprint™ Design System. It’s a managed
makeove
makeover. From selection and purchase through
installatio
installation, every detail is professionally
managed to provide a comfortable, worry-free
experien
experience. And when it’s all finished, everything
is in plac
place, looks good and feels right!
g
GIRLFRIENDZ M
MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
17
Two Girlfriendz on a
journey
Spring Cleaning on Steroids:
Life in a Petri Dish
Hoarding and How to Cope
BY LISA ALBERTA
HAVE YOU HEARD? MARIAH CAREY IS THE NEW SPOKESPERSON FOR
JENNY CRAIG. She just had twins, looks amazing and now we all know why! As
if celebrities aren’t already under a giant microscope, they torture themselves by
signing up for this! The entire world will now be watching her every move and
analyzing every outfit to see if there are any bulges where there shouldn’t be.
Eight months ago, Diane and Claudia agreed to go under the Girlfriendz
microscope while we all sat back and watched. They embarked on the eatsmart
weight loss program at Cherry Hill Health & Racquet Club, starting off with good
intentions, but weren’t exactly getting the results we’d hoped for. When I met
with Diane this week to go over her measurements, she was beaming! She had
lost ten pounds and 11 inches. The first sentence out of her mouth: “I’m so happy
I’m finally losing weight—I really didn’t want to disappoint you!”
Diane is addicted to working out, feels better than ever, and even her doctor is
raving about her weight loss…yet, what is Diane focusing on? Not disappointing
anyone. I’m so proud of Diane, but wish her motivation came from within, rather
than feeling compelled to succeed.
I’m very proud of Claudia, too! She has lost 20 pounds and says, “I feel better
than ever and am staying on track!”
Staying on track is what it’s all about. So let’s make a pact to stop putting so
much pressure on ourselves, set small п¬Ѓtness and weight loss goals, make good
choices and throw out that microscope!
g
kickstart
Your weight loss program with Diane & Claudia at CHHRC!
If you've fallen off the fitness wagon, KickStart is a great way to get back on! if your New Year's Resolution is
to lose weight and get in shape, KickStart is for you! Statistics tell us that people who exercise with
a friend are more successful at exercising consistently. You keep each other accountable and
motivated! Bring a friend to KickStart today!
Go to www.chhrc.com/kickstart
$129
$99 for members. First time visitors
and first time personal training clients.
18
4 week membership
4 personal training
sessions
Spaces
4 nutritional
consultations
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
Limited!
Call today
Serving the community since 1971
Your family Health Club
www.chhrc.com
856.429.1388
GRACE CAME TO THE ATTENTION OF A
LOCAL SOCIAL SERVICE AGENCY AFTER
AN ANONYMOUS CALL WAS PLACED TO
THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT. “I just can’t
throw things away. At first it was just the kids’
school papers but then it was magazines,
newspapers and broken appliances I thought
I could repair. There are piles everywhere.
The house is so cluttered we can’t even sit at
the kitchen table or take baths because I have
filled them with papers. My husband is threatening to leave me and take the kids with him.”
Grace is suffering from a psychiatric condition called hoarding which is considered to
be related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Approximately 25% of individuals
with OCD also exhibit hoarding behaviors.
According to Dr. Frost of the International
OCD foundation, hoarding has been a hidden
disorder for many years. It is only since the
1990s that more research has been conducted on hoarding. Interest in it has increased
in response to TV reality shows which have
made the public aware of this disabling condition.
ACCORDING TO THE MAYO CLINIC, THE
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF HOARDING ARE:
Д•Еї acquiring unneeded or seemingly useless
items including magazines, newspapers
and trash
Д•Еї an inability to discard items even though
they are worthless
Д•Еї excessive attachment to possessions,
including discomfort letting others touch
or borrow their possessions
Д•Еї cluttered living spaces
Д•Еї difficulty organizing items or moving
items from one pile to another without
discarding anything
Д•Еї difficulty managing daily activities including procrastination and trouble making
decisions
Д•Еї shame and embarrassment
Д•Еї limited social interactions
There is a difference between collecting
and hoarding. Collectors seek out specific
items and carefully organize and display their
collection. Hoarders, on the other hand, just
acquire random items which they carelessly
store in their homes. People who hoard generally believe the item will be useful some day,
BY THERESA WRIGHT, PhD
for instance, toilet paper rolls or magazines
and newspapers for future art projects.
There are also cases of people hoarding
animals, keeping dozens of pets in often
unsanitary conditions. Due to the large numbers, the animals cannot be cared for properly. Veterinarians are often the п¬Ѓrst to notice
there is a problem when owners bring in one
sick or injured animal after another.
It is not clear what causes hoarding behavior but it is more likely to occur in an individual with a family history of hoarding. Genetics and upbringing both seem to be factors in
this condition. Hoarding may actually begin
in childhood with the child saving broken
toys, pencil nubs and papers. A stressful life
event with which an individual was unable to
cope, such as a death in the family, divorce or
a move can exacerbate the condition. It tends
to get worse with age, with the average age
of a person seeking treatment for hoarding at
about 50 years old.
Hoarding can consume an individual’s
life. It interferes with their daily functioning
and disrupts their п¬Ѓnancial, emotional and
social well being. It impacts significantly
on relationships, with family members feeling depressed and resentful. It also affects
the social development of children. Spouses
may move out of the home with the children because of the deplorable living conditions. Many people even go broke
renting
storage units for all of their possessions.
Hoarders may feel that something bad
will happen if they throw an item away. To
avoid this feeling, they save everything so
this erroneous belief is never disproved. But
it’s important for non-hoarders to know that
the hoarding behavior will not be eliminated
by simply throwing things out. Instead, the
underlying causes must be identified and
addressed in treatment. In fact, if a home is
cleaned out without the hoarder’s consent,
the behavior can worsen and may lead to a
person refusing help in the future.
Non-hoarders also need to know they
cannot apply logic and reason with a loved
one who is a hoarder when it comes to their
living circumstances. It often takes drastic
measures such as family members leaving
or reports to police, п¬Ѓre and/or the health
departments for a hoarder to seek treatment.
The International OCD foundation offers
guidelines for addressing your concerns with
a friend or family member suffering from
hoarding:
Respect. Acknowledge that a person has a
right to make his or her own decisions at his
or her own pace.
Sympathize. Understand that everyone has some attachment to the things
they own. Try to understand the
importance of their items
19
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20
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
to them.
Encourage. Come up with ideas to make
their home safer, such as moving clutter from
doorways and halls.
Team up. Don’t argue about whether to
keep or discard an item; instead п¬Ѓnd out what
will help motivate the person to discard or
organize.
Reflect. Help the person recognize that
hoarding interferes with the goals and values the person may hold. For example, by decluttering the home, a person may feel more
comfortable thinking about hosting social
gatherings, resulting in a richer social life.
Ask. Develop trust by never throwing anything away without asking permission.
Psychological treatment is available.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help an
individual explore why they hoard, learn to
de-clutter their home and organize their possessions, practice relaxation skills and work
on healing among family members. Antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication may
provide relief in conjunction with therapy.
Beth Johnson, a motivational instructor
of de-cluttering workshops, recommends
attending a support group and offers practical solutions for hoarders and for those who
want to help them:
Excavate one tiny area at a time (one corner, one drawer). Throw out broken items and
moldy food.
Sort before discarding anything. It will be
easier to throw things out when you see that
you have 20 of the same thing.
Donate items instead of throwing them
away. It can be a comfort to know they can
п¬Ѓnd a good home with someone else.
Don’t buy a book unless you spend 30
minutes reading it in the book store. For
every book you buy, relinquish two books
that you identify as dispensable.
When tempted by “free” items, control the
urge to acquire by imagining that you must
pay a dollar for each one.
Take before and after photos so you can
see the difference and chart your progress.
If you are suffering from this disabling
condition, you no longer have to be trapped
in the turmoil in your mind or the chaos in
your home. There is help. There is hope.
g
Theresa Wright, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private
practice with offices in Mt. Laurel and Colts Neck,
NJ. She has worked in the mental health п¬Ѓeld for
over 20 years. She received her Ph.D. from Temple
University and works with diverse populations and
age groups.
HOARDER or COLLECTOR?
According to Our Experts, Sometimes the Lines are Blurred
BY KATHY WEYER
EVER WATCH THE SHOW HOARDERS? Like a
train wreck, it’s hard to watch and hard to look
away. While most of us aren’t hoarders, we
do have a tendency to have “too much stuff.”
Are you a hoarder? A collector? Somewhere in
between? Read what our experts have to say.
Barbara Berman of BB’s Clutter Solutions
has seen her share of hoarders while organizing people and their spaces over the past п¬Ѓve
years. Some of her clients come to her from
Clutterers Anonymous, some look for help by
themselves and some are referrals from family
members. She works one-on-one and gauges
possible success by including these questions
in her assessment:
1. Why now? (What compelled you to contact me?)
2. Do you have the time, emotional and п¬Ѓnancial commitment to make this transition?
3. What have you done in the past?
4. Do you really want the help?
Teri Fisher, owner of The Closet Gallery
builds spaces to house collections by design-
ing custom cabinetry. Clients call her when
they want to get organized in a limited amount
of space.
While she has not dealt with hoarders
directly, she suspects some of her clients may
have OCD tendencies. What she has run across
are compulsive shoppers who need a place
to display their purchases (such as 400 pairs
of shoes and excessive purchases of personal
hygiene and cleaning products). Rather than
going through and disposing/selling/donating
their items, her approach is to tell them exactly
how much space they have to work with efficiently, and let them decide what to put in their
new, improved areas. She does not necessarily
[
encourage getting rid of things, rather putting
them in storage if you don’t need to see it
every day or need easy access. Some things
you just can’t part with—nor should you have
to—like that old college T-shirt or the shoes
you used in the 60-mile breast cancer walk.
In order to help clients get organized, both
professionals have a process:
Д‘Ж«Ж«.+1,Ж« (%'!Ж« 3%0$Ж« (%'!Ж« ДЁ5+1Ж« )5Ж« %/+2!.Ж« 5+1Ж«
have three of the same item
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and patience, and know that you are working
to help someone get a handle on a difficult
part of his or her life.
LEARN MORE ABOUT IT
]
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THE CLOSET GALLERY www.theclosetgallery.com
CLUTTERERS ANONYMOUS
http://sites.google.com/site/clutterersanonymous/Home/am-i-a-clutterer
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GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
21
Q
A
&
Deidre
Hall
Talks About the
Days of Her
Life
HOW DOES
DEIRDRE HALL DO
IT? AFTER DECADES
OF PORTRAYING MARLENA
EVANS ON DAYS OF OUR LIVES,
SHE LOOKS AS LOVELY AS EVER. LUCKY
FOR US, SHE SHARES HER BEAUTY SECRETS
IN HER NEW BOOK, HOW DOES SHE DO IT? A
BEAUTY BOOK. DEIDRE AND HER BEST FRIEND
AND WRITING PARTNER, LYNNE BOWMAN, SPILL
THEIR MOST CLOSELY HELD BEAUTY RITUALS, FROM
THEIR BEAUTIFUL BUTT EXERCISES TO THE INS AND
OUTS OF PERMANENT MAKEUP, WEIGHT LOSS AND
COSMETIC SURGERY. AMONG THE PAGES OF BEAUTY
ADVICE IN THIS BOOK, YOU’LL FIND A COMPLETELY
UN-RETOUCHED PHOTO OF DEIDRE—WHAT SHE CALLS
“FULL FACIAL NUDITY.” WE CAN TELL YOU THIS: THIS
IS ONE WOMAN WHO KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT
LOOKING GOOD AT ANY AGE.
BY MARIA MICOLUCCI
22
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
MM: Deidre, tell us why you decided
to write How Does She Do It?
DH: The beauty book is a natural
extension of the way Lynne and I
live in our friendship. On any given
moment, we are standing in someone’s
bathroom, cosmetics strung before us
and eagerly soaking up what the other
has learned.
MM: What has the response been from
your fans about the book?
DH: It’s been interesting to watch
because there is so much more interest
around this book than around Kitchen
Closeup, (Deidre’s first book, published
in 2010). It’s dealing with topics that
women really care about.
MM: What is the one single beauty
mistake you think women make?
DH: Anything in excess diminishes our
natural beauty, so, too much hair spray?
I think it should be about letting our
natural beauty shine through.
MM: What is your single favorite antiaging skin care product?
DH: Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. Do
it often and do it well. There are many
great brands, so it’s a matter of trying to
see what works for you!
MM: What do you think of the style of
twenty-somethings today?
DH: The truth is that as styles change
everybody gets the chance to have their
look come into fashion. I like that about
changing style. I love the look right
now with the leggings and boots and
shorter skirts.
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
23
MM: Many baby boomer women have
trouble maintaining a healthy weight. It
just isn’t as easy as it used to be! What is
your advice for them?
DH: The key word here is “healthy.” It’s about
being diligent and respectful of your body,
and understanding that what you put into it
counts. My favorite advice is, once you п¬Ѓnd a
weight where your body is comfortable, learn
to love it.
MM: Tell us about your enduring friendship
with your writing partner, Lynne Bowman.
DH: When I was a model, one of my
assignments was for a hair product, and she
worked for Redken Laboratories. We met
and that was the beginning of a beautiful
friendship. We’ve seen each other through
incredible joys and unspeakable horrors and
exquisite betrayal sitting around that kitchen
table discussing the events of our day.
MM: What do your friendships mean
to you?
DH: The women in my life are so nurturing
and supportive and they hold a very dear
place in my heart. They are always there for
me as I am for them; this is what true women
and true friends do.
MM: Any more books planned in
your future?
DH: I have been flirting with the idea of a
manners book. I am so weary of walking
through my life and seeing people who don’t
know proper etiquette, proper grammar and
have no sense of appropriate manners.
MM: Tell us about what’s going on at Days
of Our Lives.
DH: You’ll have to tune in to find out!
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24
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
MM: Days is the only daytime drama series
to increase in viewers over the last few
seasons. In our virtually-obsessed society,
does that surprise you?
DH: People seem to be very excited about
Days, so I’m happy to say I’m not surprised.
We have wonderful new writers, Darrell and
Marlene, and they have made the show so
relevant and watchable again that I’m just so
excited every time I open a new script!
MM: What has it been like to play a
character like Marlena Evans for so long?
DH: I’ve played Marlena since 1976 and that’s
longer than every relationship I’ve had in
my life, longer than my relationship with my
children and if you combine my marriages
(laughs). It’s great. I love her. I love spending
my day with her and watching her grow!
MM: Tell us what the 2-1/2 years were like
that you spent away from Days.
DH: It was not my choice to leave the show,
and there was a time where I didn’t think I
could separate Marlena from Deidre and vice
versa. I quickly learned how to relax, take
walks on the beach and just spend time with
dear and cherished friends.
MM: What charities are closest to
your heart?
DH: They change all the time. I am attached
to Operation Smile, having spent one of the
greatest times in my life with my son David
on a mission in Brazil. I lobbied Congress for
the Child Nutrition Act. Other charities that
attract me are plentiful.
MM: What book is on your nightstand
right now?
DH: Several. I’m reading Nora Ephron’s new
book, a sign language book and I love my
Psychology Today.
MM: Tell us a few things most
people don’t know about you.
DH: I think people already know
that I’m a passionate kitchen
beautician. I think they know
that one of my favorite pastimes
is knitting baby sweaters. They
may not know how much I love to
decorate cakes, work in my garden,
cook ffrom scratch and vacuum my
own rugs.
LONG-TIME BFFS AND WRITING
PARTNERS LYNNE BOWMAN
AND DEIDRE HALL.
MM: What was your
greatest moment on
Days?
DH: The moments that
come to mind are the
times I was able to step out off Marlena.
l
It has nothing to do with not loving Marlena,
it is simply the pleasure of a change of pace.
MM: What would be your favorite way to
spend a day off?
DH: Waking up in the morning, turning to
my daily appointment schedule and п¬Ѓnding
a completely blank page. Beyond that, a walk
to the edge of the continent, what I call my
little piece of the ocean; bouncing around
with my children and in the evening, settling
down to an episode of Downton Abbey.
MM: How are your sons doing?
DH: Spectacular! David completed his п¬Ѓrst
semester at college in Paris, and Tully is
enjoying being a junior in high school and I
still adore being their mom.
MM: What does the future
hold for Deidre Hall?
DH: I can’t wait to see!
D
MM: What would you like to
M
say to Girlfriendz readers?
DH
DH: I п¬Ѓnd that all of us are
stru
struggling with how to fulfill
the п¬Ѓ
final third of our lives. It’s a
hot topic
t
of conversation among
my ba
baby boomer friends. We want
to rem
remain active, vital and still
h
have a deep desire to contribute.
We have succeeded in business, we have
raised our children and the rest is up to our
heart’s desire. I have numbers of friends
who have spoken quite seriously about
growing old together in a large house by the
ocean being cared for by a chef and driver,
and companioned by life-long friends. To
that end, in the п¬Ѓnal third of my life, I look
forward to giving back.
PHILLY LOVES
A WINNER
24/7 GAMING ACTION
g
Maria Micolucci had a 10-year career in п¬Ѓnancial
services working for mutual fund companies,
primarily in Boston, MA. After moving to the
Philadelphia area, she began to volunteer in
politics and became a Chief of Staff for a state
legislator. Maria is currently a freelance writer
living in Wayne, PA with her husband and two
children. Visit her book review website at www.
girlfriendbooks.com.
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25
Do You Need a
PROBIOTIC?
Go With Your Gut!
BY ROZANNE GELBINOVICH
FROM THE ACTIVIA COMMERCIALS STARRING
JAMIE LEE CURTIS TO THE PLETHORA OF OVER-THECOUNTER SUPPLEMENTS ON THE MARKET, PROBIOTICS
HAVE BEEN INFILTRATING MAINSTREAM CONSCIOUSNESS. BUT WHAT EXACTLY ARE PROBIOTICS? SHOULD YOU BE TAKING THEM?
AND IF SO, WHICH ONES AND IN WHAT FORM? WE GOT THE SCOOP FROM THE
EXPERTS ON EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT PROBIOTICS.
Let’s start at the top: What exactly are probiotics? They are helpful in restoring the
good bacteria—or flora—in your gastrointestinal (GI) system. Particularly if you’ve been
on an antibiotic regimen for a while, probiotics might be essential, as antibiotics tend
to quash both bad bacteria (which ultimately
makes you feel better) and the good bacteria
in your system (which might actually make
you feel even worse).
“In my practice, I recommend clients take
probiotics following antibiotics,” says Elsie
Kerns, a certified energy medicine practitioner and wellness educator based in Marlton.
“Antibiotics suppress the symptoms but also
kill all the good bacteria in the body, so it’s easier to pick up the next bug going around. Antibiotics also proliferate yeast problems. Without friendly bacteria in the gut, yeast takes
over and creates a myriad of other unpleasant
26
symptoms like bloating, brain fog and fatigue.
Probiotics on a daily basis are an excellent
way to help the body, and especially the gut,
maintain health and wellness.”
“A lot of times when someone’s gotten antibiotics for, say, a sinus infection, it may change
the bacteria they have in their colon and that
allows some of the bad bacteria to multiply,
and those can cause problems,” says Dr. Noel
Martins, gastroenterologist with the Kennedy
Health System, whose office is in Sewell.
So probiotics are useful in restoring good
bacteria in your system, but if you don’t actually have any GI problems, should you be taking them simply as a matter of course? The
experts we spoke to had differing opinions on
the matter.
According to Carolyn J. Boyer, personal
probiotic consultant for Natren Inc., “Probiotics are for everyone. They’re great for every-
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
day dietary supplementation and for use as a
preventive. They assist the immune system to
build natural good flora and in the digestive
system to help with the body’s pH balance.”
However, according to Dr. Ronald Ciccone,
medical director for integrative family medicine for Lourdes Health System, whose office
is in Collingswood, though everyone could
benefit from probiotics, not everybody necessarily needs them.
Dr. Martins agrees: “I don’t think everyone should necessarily be on probiotics, but I
think there are some people who can benefit
from them. There’s not much downside—the
main one is the cost—but there are some people who specifically benefit from them. I don’t
tell every one of my patients to take probiotics. They may or may not help.”
“Probiotics might be considered �preventive maintenance’ versus �crisis management,’”
suggests Kerns. “They support the immune
system, aid regularity and digestion. Based on
our processed diet, stress and now resistance
to many antibiotic strains, as well as living
longer, everything we can do to enhance
personal health is to our advantage.”
What do the doctors we spoke with
recommend probiotics for? “First of all,
we use them as treatment for patients
who have GI distress,” says Dr. Ciccone. “Many people have irritable
bowel syndrome and many times it’s
just a matter of imbalance of good/bad
bacteria or enzymes in the GI tract.”
“The groups of people I tend to use them
for are people with irritable bowel syndrome,
bacterial overgrowth and C. difficile infection.
I tend to use it for people who have had infections in their intestines and people who aren’t
feeling well after having taken antibiotics,”
says Dr. Martins.
According to Dr. Ciccone, what’s key is
that everyone has his or her own biochemical
makeup and that a specific probiotic treatment regimen will work differently for different people—or might not work at all. “It’s
always good to give a combination of probiotic strains. The one we use in the office
has about 12 different strains,” Dr. Ciccone
states. “You’re trying to balance the good bacteria versus the bad bacteria. And it’s not just
for balancing the bacteria; it also helps the
immune system.”
“Probiotics need to be a combination of
several strains,” agrees Kerns. “There are
many excellent probiotic products to choose
from but I generally recommend Natren prod-
ucts because they have quality super strains,
proper processing and clinically proven
results backed by scientific research. Natren
carries probiotic products for every age, starting with babies, adults and even for animals.
Natren has been in business for over 30 years
and provides excellent phone support with
their probiotic specialist.”
“Probiotics are important for everyone—
young and old, sick or healthy,” adds Boyer.
“There are probiotics for infants, children,
teens and adults. Also, it’s important to purchase probiotics that are live cultures that are
housed and shipped refrigerated.”
However even that claim, according to Dr.
Ciccone, is controversial among experts in
the field. “The consensus is—refrigerated or
non-refrigerated—as long as it’s a good quality
brand and manufacturer, the product is good.”
And Dr. Ciccone emphasizes that if you purchase refrigerated probiotics, make sure you
keep them refrigerated, otherwise they will
essentially die and thus lose their effectiveness.”
Also, says Dr. Ciccone, whatever over-thecounter probiotic you purchase, make sure it’s
one with a high dose of live active cultures. “A
lot of times treatment doesn’t work on people
because they take OTC probiotics and dosages are really low. You have to treat in billions;
in some people they treat it with trillions. So
you really need high doses of probiotics to
make them work.
“Probably about half the contents of the
bowels are bacteria—that’s 100 trillion bacteria. So if you think about treating it with a few
billion, you can see how you’re not really making a big dent.”
But what if you don’t want to take pills?
Yogurt and kefir are good options. “Activia has
about 1 to 3 billion live active cultures, which
is not a lot, but sometimes a small amount can
actually help,” says Dr. Ciccone.
“If someone is concerned about taking probiotics, I usually suggest they have the yogurt
with the live active cultures,” Dr. Martins
agrees. “It’s kind of a milder way to change
your flora.”
“Yogurt is a healthy, cultured food that
is good for the gut,” Kerns notes. “However,
many people cannot tolerate dairy, and following a round of antibiotics, it would take a
long time to build up the good bacteria again
with just yogurt. Probiotics as a preventive
measure on a daily basis is one very healthy
way to nurture the body and support our best
defense system—our immune system.”
Boyer suggests powders or chewables as
alternatives to pills. “Powders are a help with
upper gastrointestinal conditions. As you
drink them, they help coat the esophagus and
get in the digestive system faster for more
immediate assistance,” she says.
Ultimately, probiotics are good for restoring the balance of good bacteria in your gut.
But, as with any other supplements or medications, it’s essential that you contact your
healthcare professional or an expert in the
п¬Ѓeld before starting on any kind of serious
regimen of probiotics. Since everyone has a
different biochemical makeup, it may take
some trial and error to п¬Ѓnd the best combination of probiotics that work for you.
Dr. Martins also warns that if you start on
a regimen because of mild abdominal pain or
bloating, and you don’t feel better after a week
or two, get checked out for the possibility of a
more serious illness.
“We all need good flora in our digestive
system to keep us healthy. Restoring the good
bacteria by taking probiotics and removing
the bad or unneeded pathogens is something
we need to do on a daily basis. Our bodies
need to re-establish the flora because we lose
enough of the good on a daily basis through
different means such as stress, diets, sickness
and not enough rest,” Boyer says.
It’s important to take care of our bodies,
and probiotics — in the right combination
and doses — could be just what the doctor
ordered.
g
[
LEARN MORE ABOUT IT
]
RONALD P. CICCONE, MD
Lourdes Health System
www.lourdeswellnesscenter.org/
integrative-health-care
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NOEL MARTINS, MD
Kennedy Health System
www.kennedyhealth.org/patients-andvisitors/п¬Ѓnd-a-doctor.html
ELSIE KERNS
Wellness for Life
www.wellnesswithelsie.com
CAROLYN J. BOYER
Natren, Inc.
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Rozanne Gelbinovich works as a copy editor for The Drug Store
News Group, a group of trade publications that covers the retail
drug store, health care and pharmaceutical industries. She also is a
weekly columnist for amNewYork, a free daily commuter newspaper
distributed throughout the city, and keeps up her travel blog, bitten
(bittentravel.blogspot.com), where she combines her two passions:
travel and writing.
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DAWN JONES
The Story of a Survivor
IT WAS THANKSGIVING 1999. I GOT A
CALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. MY
MOM HAD HAD A HEART ATTACK.
She was visitingВ my brother in Virginia.
I laid in bed getting my plan together to go
there the next day. I tried to fall back to sleep
as my mindВ was racing. The same spot at the
top of my left breast that had been itchy was
starting to itch again, but this time I felt a
lump.
In the months leading up to that night,
I’d been wondering why I was having discomfort wearing a bra. I searched out every
type and manufacturerВ I could get my hands
onВ andВ still I found no comfort. I soon found
out why.В Once my mom was out of danger
and recuperating,В I returned to New York to
A NEW REALITY
Prior to the biopsy,В cancer was the farthestВ thought from my mind. There was no
family history. I was now my family’s history. I was confused, upset, out of my mind
with fear. IВ had to make some veryВ serious
decisions quickly. I wanted to take my time
and do research. But my oncologist said she
needed to start chemotherapy or I wouldn’t
be here to research anything.
It took just about a year of treatment to
stop the spreading and shrink the tumor,
before they could cut my breast off.В Cut my
breast off. Wow! That brings me back.В At
that time, my home life was so out of balance, sometimes I couldn’t remember if I was
crying about the cancer,В the horrible side
“THIS is an extremely aggressive CANCER,” he said,
...After that, I saw his mouth moving , but
couldn’t HEAR his WORDS.
BY DAWN JONES
28
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
see my GYN. She measured the lump. It was 2
cms, and I was sent for a biopsy.
The following week the surgeonВ came into
the exam room, measured the lump and to
his surprise and mine, it had grown to 8 cms
in only 6 days. It was stage 3 inflammatory
breast cancer.
The nature of the disease is that it not only
causes tumors but also attacks the skin. “This
is an extremely aggressive cancer,” he said,
“and we need to get you into chemotherapy
�yesterday’…” After that, I saw his mouth moving, but I couldn’t hear his words. At first I
couldn’t find my voice, then I screamed “What
the %?@$ did you just say?!” I remember him
being so cold and condescending, asВ if he
were saying “I’m going for coffee.” Before he
walked out of the room, he instructed me to
call his office with any questions or concerns.
After leaving four messages and getting no
response, I found another surgeon who would
do the mastectomy.
effects or the turmoil in my house. Two of my
girlfriends, Marlene and Lorna, came to cook
some meals for me and my family because
I was too sick to get out of bed.В I was sick
all the time. No appetite, always nauseous,
always tired…
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It took some months for my skin to heal.В The
time had come for radiation therapy. Toward
the end of treatment, my skin looked as if I’d
been caught in a п¬Ѓre, but after months of treating the radiated skin, it healed up nicely. Now
I had to prepare myself to shop for a prosthesis.В IВ love shopping, but I had never thought
I’d be shopping for a boob! WOOHOO! That
was some experience.В I had to start with a
soft cotton breast form—a softie—which had
no weight to it for comfort’s sake. The day
I received it, I wanted to party. Although at
that time, the largest softie was still smaller
than my right breast, a 40D. Can you imagine
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walking around, a 40D on one side and flatchested on the other? It was yet another bitter
pill to swallow.В All the staring and whispering was overwhelming in the beginning. But then I thought,
“I am alive!” Since the softie had no weight, I
would constantly have to adjust it. I was always
lopsided.В Once the permanent silicone breast
arrived--oh happy day!—I didn’t have to adjust
my bra anymore. The only challenge was
going swimming. Can you picture your breast
as a floatation device? I had to laugh at myself.
I wore the prosthesis for 18 months. Sometimes it would cause pain to the area since it
was so heavy, but my oldest son didn’t want
me thinking about having surgery for anything, let alone reconstructing my breast. I
don’t think my boys really knew how to communicate their feelings about the breast cancer. They didn’t have anyone to talk to about
what I was going through and just as importantly, what they were going through.
My consultation for reconstructive surgery
went very well with my new surgeon who’d
come highly recommended. He answered all
of my questions and concerns and showed
me pictures of women who’d had the different
types of reconstructive surgeries.
Before replacing the breast, the challenge
was being able to use my own body fat as
for me that all things are possible and that
God has blessed us with faith and very talented doctors. But this country really needs
to change its insurance policies with regard
to care after major surgery. I came home with
five drainage tubes. I’ll skip the details, but
the self-care was difficult, especially when all
I wanted to do was get through the pain. I am
very happy that I had the surgery, because at
the end of the day, I felt like I had two feet on
the ground again. I felt sexy again, too, as the
end result left me with a tummy tuck
and some 18 year old boobs. Not bad!
BACK TO WORK BUT MORE
DAWN DURING TREATMENT,
SURPRISES
It was 2005/2006 when I re-entered
filler, because
WITH HER LOVED ONES. THERE
ARE SIX CTCAs THROUGHOUT
the workforce. I worked a full- and
after my breast
THE US—ONE IN PHILADELPHIA.
a part-time job at a mall in White
and tissue were
FOR MORE INFO, VISIT WWW.
Plains, New York. I was cleaning up
removed, there
CANCERCENTER.COM/
the stockroom one day, and I was
was a deep dent
EASTERN-HOSPITAL.CFM.
on a ladder when I lost my balance.
in my chest. My
While maneuvering to regain it, I felt
doctor was able
to successfully п¬Ѓll in the dent with my body something snap under my left arm. The next
fat, and reduced the size of my right breast to day, the arm was swollen and hot. I left work
for the hospital and was there for a week—the
make them even.
Revisiting this whole process reconfirms diagnosis, lymph edema. I cried when they
told me how it was going to change my life.
That was wicked.
In August 2007, I п¬Ѓnally had my overdue
appointment to see my doctor. Scans, a full
blood workup, tests, you name it. The results
were horrible and mortifying. The cancer had
metastasized to my lymphatic system in my
chest, neck and throat. I was in stage 4 cancer—the final stage. Not that it meant instant
death. There are 4 stages in cancer diagnosis,
4 being the most aggressive—the really badass type and the most difficult to treat. Maybe
if I had stopped working so hard, maybe if I
had not allowed stress to keep me from eating
right and sleeping, maybe if I had stopped
smoking. I tortured myself, blamed myself, hated myself for not taking better care of myself.
I went straight into denial, at least until the
recurrence put me in the hospital at the end
of the year.
Treatment started in mid-January 2008 and
would end the last week in June. The chemo
was really rough. I noticed three plum-sized
tumors—one on the nape of my neck and the
other two down my back right next to my
spine. I was beside myself with anger, fear and
disbelief that I was growing new tumors while
I was getting really strong chemo. I completed
the treatment cycle, but the rash was still there
as well as the new tumors. Four weeks later,
almost to the day, every single tumor that had
gone away with the treatment I had just п¬Ѓnished, was back! How could this be?!
More chemo, but п¬Ѓrst, surgery to put a port
in my chest to administer it since the veins
in my arm were so badly burned from the
other chemo. I didn’t want to do it, but I did.
This new treatment lasted three months, but
to everyone’s surprise, two weeks later, more
tumors.
For the following two weeks I had no words,
I couldn’t find my voice. I couldn’t stop crying; I couldn’t eat, sleep or even think. I met
with my doctor to п¬Ѓgure out a game plan and
get a prescription for some pain medication,
but nothing worked for the pain. My doctor
informed me that there was nothing else she
could do for me. Scared out of my mind, I went
home and started writing my obituary.
THE TURNAROUND
I called her the next day and she repeated the
news, but then suggested I call Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA). My oldest
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GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
sister, Lynore, came with me. She was my caregiver at that time. My doctor told me what the
plan was going to be, what type of chemo, how
often, and that, when he received the biopsy
report back in three weeks, he might have to
change the treatment.
Treatment at CTCA started on January 18,
2009, and three days later the three big plumsized tumors where gone. The results of the
biopsy showed the pimply skin rash was not a
rash at all, but a secondary cancer! Treatment
continued and by March, I was off all pain
medications. I also found out that my sternum
was impacted by the cancer, which is why I was
still having trouble breathing п¬Ѓve months after
I’d quit smoking.
CTCA has given me more than treatment.
They’ve given me therapy for my mind, body
& spirit, and they have given me HOPE. I am a
proud mom of two very special sons, Michael
& Christopher, and the grandma of four very
special grandchildren, Tysher, Jayda, Nyier
and Christian.
I now have balance, peace, joy and much,
much love in my life, not just for myself but
for others. This journey continues, and I am
grateful. A little HOPE, goes a long way.
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31
+LHSPUN^P[O+PMГ„J\S[7LVWSL
BY VICTORIA HANDFIELD, PsyD
A BUSINESS IS MADE UP OF MANY
TYPES OF PEOPLE, each one bringing a
different talent to the table. But what happens when difficult personalities are thrown
into the mix?
Nancy Stampahar of Silver Lining Solutions TV says there are two types of difficult
people found in the workplace: vultures and
ostriches. “The enraged body and voice of
the attackingВ vultureВ demonstrates aggressiveВ behaviors. The buried head of the silent
ostrich demonstrates passivity. Personified,
the vulture would treat other people with disrespect, and the ostrich would treat him or
herself with disrespect. Neither
would be effective in resolving
conflict, motivating others or
building deep, lasting relationships.В Both passive and aggressive behavior types contribute
to conflict and can make a bad
situation worse.”
A consultant and speaker,
Stampahar gives practical
advice on making life better
in the workplace in her awardwinning book, Peace, Love, and
Lemonade: A Recipe to Make
Your Life Sweeter. “There will
always be people in our lives
we enjoy being with, and
those we continuously struggle to get along
with. Conflicts do occur, and it is critical
to learn how to effectively resolve them to
ensure a safe, positive and respectful environment.”
Other difficult personality types in the
workplace include:
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You’ve no doubt come across at least
one person from each of these categories
throughout your career, and might even be
dealing with some right now. Here are some
ways you can cope:.
The Slacker: The Slacker does next to
nothing at work. She makes a lot of personal
32
calls, spends time on personal emails, gossip
and might even do her nails when she should
be working on a project. How does she get
away with it? Slackers are highly skilled at
hiding these behaviors from bosses and managers. When honest, hard-working, multitasking people work with Slackers, they get
very stressed out. They feel a lot of resentment and spend considerable time and energy trying to п¬Ѓgure out what to do about their
slacking co-workers. In many workplaces,
it’s not a good idea to complain about them,
even though the situation might dredge up
feelings many of us had as children when
bullying took place. As a result, many people
lack skills when it comes to п¬Ѓnding creative
solutions—especially assertiveness. The best
way to handle Slackers is to kill them with
kindness. Not the saccharine type. Simply
take the anger out of your voice and give an
actual compliment (as hard as it can be). Ask
for assistance (or tell her what needs to be
done, depending on the power relationship),
but be sure to do it in front of others. Being
in front of an audience is crucial because in
that situation, The Slacker can’t ignore or
refuse your request. Presumably the job will
get done, and you will earn a sense of satisfaction and relief. It will also build your confidence, which will allow your creative mind
to п¬Ѓnd other solutions as well.
The Overloader: This is a boss who loads
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
you up with work she doesn’t want to do,
barely responds to your questions or requests
for data and spends all her time chatting and
drinking coffee with other managers. She
makes you want to pull your hair out (or
hers). Your anger will build to the point where
you can’t think creatively. Here’s what you
can do in response: take many deep breaths
and think about all you have done well. Then,
make a list of the 10,000 tasks lined up for
you and ask your boss to help you prioritize
them. You’re still giving her all the control—
you’re just asking for direction. You are also
(not so subtly) letting her know how huge
your list really is and the reality that even you have limits.
The Trade-Out Troublemaker: This person is probably the worst and most dangerous office personality. She
has been traded from section
to section, department to
department, and is a lousy, rotten trouble-maker. Either no
one has the balls (or ovaries)
to get rid of this employee, or
the system makes it totally
undoable. Everyone is sick
to death of this person, but
no one in your department
knows the whole story until
she is ensconced in your area. This employee
is poison.
First rule: wait until your boss sees the big
picture. Avoid The Trade-Out Troublemaker as often as you possibly can. Document,
document, document. When you see that
your boss recognizes the danger, strategize
how the troublemaker can be moved to yet
another location. Treat that person with as
much respect as you can gather from deep
within yourself, because this is someone
who is deeply troubled. When you do this,
the employee will know that you are aware of
her tactics and she’ll usually leave you alone.
But beware: now you’re identified in her mind
as potential danger, so be very careful. Be on
the lookout for undermining, back-stabbing
behavior. Depending on your trust level with
your colleagues, talk to them. Getting this
person traded-out yet again—the true remedy
to this situation—may take a very long time,
since all too often, nobody recognizes how
poisonous this person is until she has driven
several valuable people out of the organization. This is one of the primary reasons it is
so important to have a life outside of your
workplace.
The Perpetual Whiner: Compared with
the poisonous personality of The Trade-Out
Troublemaker, this person is a walk in the
park. That is, until she begins her day-long
whine. That can seriously get on your last
nerve. The answer: be relentlessly positive.
Instead of spending your energy feeling
depleted and complaining to other co-workers, come up with creative, positive strategies
and responses. It might just wear the whiner down and actually help her gain a new
perspective. Work on improving your own
life, and talk about that. Then you’re actually building defenses against the excessive
onslaught of negativity you are being subjected to. You are also revealing another reality to the person who is so sadly burdened.
Remember, this is a power play and a tough
one at that! So build your own power base—
п¬Ѓrst, for yourself and second, to help the
whiner. If she doesn’t get it, oh well! But you’ll
feel better as a result, and are less affected by
her previously overwhelming negativity.
Whether your co-workers (or you?) are
ostriches, vultures, slackers, overloaders,
troublemakers or whiners, Stampahr advises,
“Establish a safe work environment where
open dialogue isВ welcome. This will create
happiness, compassion, strength and productivity. The choice is yours!”
g
[
LEARN MORE ABOUT IT
]
NANCY STAMPAHAR
www.silverliningsolutions.tv
VICTORIA HANDFIELD, PSYD
www.gethealthygethappy.com
Vicki Handfield, PsyD, has been a clinical psychologist in Southern NJ for over 30 years.
More recently, she launched Get Healthy, Get
Happy, a 6-step coaching program to help
individuals define and reach immediate, yet
lasting health and wellness goals, whether to
lose weight, stay п¬Ѓt, sleep better or follow a
passion. Reach Vicki at [email protected] or 609 386 5941.
33
A GIRL’Z
life
I Want to Play Dress Up!
BY SANDI TUTTLE
NO ONE GETS DRESSED UP ANY MORE.
It used to be that you could tell when
someone was dressed for work. A nice pair
of trousers, dressy but practical shoes, a
blouse and trim blazer were all marks of a
proud woman in the workforce. Not anymore.
I actually heard on the news the other
day that a town had to pass a law prohib-
34
iting town workers from wearing low cut
tops, flip flops and shorts to work. Are you
kidding me? Since when has it become
appropriate to dress for the office like you
would dress for the beach? That might
explain why you can’t get anyone to help
you when you show up at a business. They
all think they’re on vacation—not at work.
I don’t exactly blame the department
stores. They do a great job. But who in their
right mind, in this economy, would pay for a
simple classic pair of trousers when they can
pay $20 and get a matching pair of sweats?
Even shoes are victims of this dumbing-down of our apparel. Nice ones are
almost made to be instruments of torture.
er thought I would see the day. Because even
they have morphed into something universal
and androgynous. A pair of PJs for the New
Millennium is a tank top and a pair of pants.
Then, there are Spanx. They are helpful.
But they are just an updated version of those
contraptions that used to be called girdles.
They were hideous, sinister looking things
that by sheer luck went out of fashion before
I had to become intimately acquainted with
them. But now, we all have to wear Spanx—the
brand name that’s actually become the defining noun for the entire species. Like Xerox.
I suppose I am overstating my case. A
little. But not that much. You see, I work parttime in a dress shop. I hear what people ask
for. And I think women are suffering from
SHE whispered to me, almost as if afraid
Dress Up Withdrawal.
Any type of
to break the spell, “I FEEL LIKE A
withdrawal process
PRINCESS in this DRESS!”
produces
stress
and
discomfort.
I don’t know any- But Dress Up Withdrawal is just wrong.
one who can work And unnecessary! On so many levels.
an eight-hour day in
Think about it. What is the one activity all
4-inch heels. Even if women of all ages remember from their childyou spend half the day sit- hood? Dress Up! Putting on pretty clothes,
ting at your desk, you have makeup, jewelry, shoes—transforming ourto get up and walk across the selves into the princesses we wanted to be—
office sometime. Our alterna- and parading around our living rooms with
tives seem to be just plain our friends in ruffles, bows, feathers and pearls.
ugly; clunky designs
Now, I see an actual hunger in the faces
that masquerade of my customers. Women who wouldn’t deny
as Mary Janes themselves a second helping of ice cream
and do abso- will deny themselves a blouse in a pretty
lutely nothing color because they are concerned someone
for your figure. will look at them and think they are overSure, they’re dressed. So instead, we all buy ugly clothes,
comfortable, but and drape other things over them to hide the
they don’t do anything things the dress was supposed to hide in the
for how you look. first place. It’s a lot of work if you ask me.
We have even
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve
become accus- heard from women that they love pretty
tomed
to things, but don’t have any place to wear
going out in them anymore. They go out to eat. They
our paja- have family functions. They go to church.
mas. I nev- They lunch. They are normal women. But
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
the world has changed to the point where
they feel overdressed if they wear more than
a shirt and jeans. Yet they come into the
shop and п¬Ѓnger the gossamer fabrics, touch
the sequins and beads with gentle hands,
try on the ball gowns and strapless numbers with an almost reverent look on their
faces. They are longing to play Dress Up!
This really hit home the other day. My
customer was buying a dress for a friend’s
wedding. She was a lovely lady with a shy
smile who looked at the dresses on the rack
like a starving man at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Since we had a great sale going at the
time, I was able to put her in a gorgeous taffeta gown with a constellation of rhinestones
on the bodice. The skirt belled out beneath
the drop waist like flower petals. She took
one look at herself in the mirror and her
eyes started shining like stars themselves.
She whispered to me, almost as if afraid to
break the spell, “I feel like a princess in this
dress!” And I felt like I could see the little
girl she once was. It was a magical moment.
It’s easy to see why the ritual of buying a
dress for your child’s wedding has become
disproportionately stressful. It’s the only time
a woman actually gets to dress up in today’s
world. The big companies used to have Christmas parties but can’t afford them anymore.
And going to a �nice restaurant’ these days
means you change from the jeans you wore
working in the garden to a clean pair. We can’t
even invent an excuse to dress up. How sad.
And yet, we continue to put things in
the closet in hopes that, someday, we’ll be
able to wear them. Malls have hundreds of
stores full of shimmering, glistening, shiny
dresses, evening bags and jewelry. We wander through this retail fantasy world and
imagine how wonderful we would look if
we had this dress, or that outfit. And then
we wonder where we would ever wear it. We
are starving women surrounded by what we
crave. All dressed up and nowhere to go.
It’s enough to make you turn in your Spanx
and sling backs, throw on your sweats and
call it a day. Say Goodnight, Cinderella!
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Sandi Tuttle is the owner/operator of HomeBadger Creations—handmade apparel wraps,
ponchos, shawls, scarves and tunics for women
of all ages. Visit www.homebadger.com. Sandi
is also the host of the Internet Radio Show “An
Average Woman in a Superwoman World,” and
a featured authority on the Diva Toolbox. She
and her husband live in Marlton.
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
35
A GIRL’Z
life
Let our family care for yours.
The Cat Who Came to Dinner
BY NICOLE PENSIERO
IT STARTED—AS LIFE-ALTERING EXPERIENCES OFTEN DO—unassumingly enough.
It was a Friday night, early December—cold.
As I approached my front door, a small black
and white cat darted out from nowhere. He
(a male, as I later learned) was extremely
friendly, wrapping himself around my legs
as I fumbled with my front door key. And, as
I quickly discovered, he was also extremely
hungry. I went inside and scanned my refrigerator for something I could feed him, then
headed back out with the best I could come
up with, chicken salad, which he promptly
wolfed down. (“He’s probably lost,” I told
myself, shutting the door). The following
night, same thing: cat on doorstep, a quick
meal, a door shutting. But in a weak moment,
I made a decision that would seal both our
fates: I opened up the door and let the stray
cat inside to warm up for a few minutes.
As little tuxedo cat tentatively entered my
living room, I sat on my couch to begin sorting through my mail. Suddenly, he was on the
couch with me, purring loudly and resting
his chin on my leg, much
like a puppy dog would
do. He promptly fell
asleep on my lap, only
NICOLE WITH HER MOM AND THE LUCKY GATTO.
36
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
was set until he called from the vet’s office
to inform me a test for feline leukemia had
come back positive, and the cat was going to
be euthanized. He had other cats and didn’t
want to run the risk of them contracting this
potentially fatal illness. The vet, he said,
thought it was for the best.
Distraught, I urged my friend not to do
anything until I got there. I just couldn’t
believe that this friendly, healthy-looking
(albeit skinny) cat needed to be put down.
And, after prodding the veterinarian for a bit
more info, I learned that feline leukemia was
not an automatic death sentence. True, if the
cat was to be put outdoors again, his compromised immune system would put him at risk
for potentially
deadly illnesses.
GATTO has served to remind me that
In that case,
euthanasia would
EVERY LIVING CREATURE
…deserves a second CHANCE. be the more compassionate route.
BUT, the vet said,
to be wakened in a few if the cat could be cared for indoors, in a lovminutes as I led him to ing home, he would likely thrive.
the front door and back
I stared at my friend, then at the vet, and
out into the cold. It had then at the kitty, who was by this time curled
to be done, I reasoned: up in my lap. “Well,” I heard myself saying, “I
for one thing, he might guess I’ll have to find him a home.”
actually have an owner;
Things moved quickly from there. The
for another, I am allergic still-unnamed cat stayed overnight at the
to cats. But already, try animal hospital to be neutered, de-flead, and
as I might to п¬Ѓght it, I vaccinated. My friend and co-worker Dana, a
was bonding.
longtime cat owner, came with me to pick him
So off he went again, up the next day. She laughed when she saw
back out into the Decem- the massive variety of cat food I’d acquired:
ber night. But the next “You need to pick one brand and stick with
day, the kitty was back it,” she explained. “Same with litter.”
again. You see where
I knew nothing about cats, but learned
this is heading, don’t quickly. For four days, the kitty lived in my
you?
house, following me from room to room
I posted signs in my and resting his head on my leg the second I
condo development in would sit down. I loaded up on allergy medicase anyone had lost a cine and convinced myself that if I didn’t give
cat. No response. Then him a name, I wouldn’t get too attached. (Fat
a friend told me he was chance.)
interested in taking the
A few days later, my mother kindly offered
cat. I thought everything to take the cat for a few weeks, until I could
find him a permanent home. You’re totally
getting where this is going, right?
Now my mom is a good soul, but I hardly think she was planning to become a pet
owner at age 83. But it only took a couple of
weeks before she decided she would keep
this charming feline, whom she named Gatto
(Italian for “cat.”) Good-natured, extremely
affectionate, well-behaved, and at times, ridiculously cute -- you should see how he chills
out, flat on his back, paws in the air, eyes
wide open – Gatto has become a big part of
our family. I visit him often, so much so that
one of my mom’s neighbors called recently
to see if she was doing ok: “I keep seeing your
daughter’s car in front of your house and I was
wondering if you’ve been sick…”
Gatto and Mom have their routines: up at
7 am, breakfast and then Gatto relaxes (sometimes for hours) in a cardboard box set up by
my mom’s kitchen picture window. The box
is equipped with two of his favorite things:
fuzzy pink socks, strategically placed along
the box’s edges (so he can rest his head on
something soft, of course), and a Christmas
tea towel to lie on. Nearby is an array of
brushes used to smooth out his now-lustrous
fur, and a little stuffed tuxedo cat he likes to
play with that we’ve dubbed “the nemesis.”
Spoiled? Yes. Adored? Certainly. But more
than anything, Gatto has served to remind
me that every living creature – humans and
animals alike – deserves a second chance.
Because of him, I now volunteer at a spayneuter clinic run by the Camden County Animal Shelter. Because of him, I’m a PetSmart
adoption center volunteer, trying to help п¬Ѓnd
homes for other felines who have yet to experience Gatto’s good fortune. And because of
him, life is a bit brighter for everyone in our
family.
g
Nicole Pensiero is a South Jersey native
and a longtime freelance writer who works
full-time in marketing and public relations.
Nicole is an avid traveler and music fan, who
now understands (and fears) the clichГ© of a
“crazy cat lady.”
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Accelerated Networkingв„ў Events
Tuesday, April 10th
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GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
Eye
or
st
re’s
he
The
Moorestown Mall Food Court
5W‡0RRUHVWRZQ1-
BY TOBI SCHWARTZ-CASSELL
wouldn’t go to a plastic surgeon for digestive problems, you shouldn’t go to a general dentist for cosmetic dentistry,” says
Lorin Berland, DDS of Dallas Dental Arts
in the Arts District of Dallas, Texas. “The
cost, especially in terms of your health,
REMEMBER WHEN
as well as time and money, is too great a
Billy Crystal said the
risk. You only have one mouth and so many
quote (above) on Saturteeth, so don’t take chances with your health.”
day Night Live? Despite
Says Smallwood, “About 30% of the cases
how funny it was and how
I do are �re-dos’ of other doctors’ work based primany times we imitated him imimarily on cosmetic concerns, fracture, bite issues or
tating Fernando Lamas, that quote
any combination. The treating doctors will just get in
makes about as much sense for someone
over their heads unintentionally, and that’s unfortunate.”
with a heart condition as it does for someone conAll three agree that credentials matter, though each pursued a
templating cosmetic dentistry. Because contrary to the belief of different route. Dr. Markus completed the Dawson Continuum and
some, it’s not just how your teeth look, it’s how they function, too.
received his Fellowship in the Academy of Comprehensive Esthetics
“Form has to follow function,” says Stephen J. Markus, DMD, in 2004; Dr. Berland is an Accredited Fellow in the American AcadFACE, of The Centre for Dentistry at Haddon in Haddon Heights. emy of Cosmetic Dentistry and Dr. Smallwood trained extensively
“That’s why cosmetics need to be done by someone trained in cos- with Drs. Montgomery and Kois and others.
metics, and not any general dentist. There’s a lot more to designing
According to Dr. Markus, from start to п¬Ѓnish the range of time the
someone’s smile than just taking an impression and sending it to the process takes depends on the extent of work to be done. “If we can
lab. There’s a lot to look at in terms of facial harmony, shape of teeth correct the smile with Six Month Smiles (transparent braces worn
and length of teeth. So we “blueprint” every smile we make.
for about six months), we can do it without reducing teeth. This
“First we find out what the patient’s goals are and whether they enables us to transform people’s smiles without having to put on a
are achievable. We do this by setting up plaster models on a bite single veneer, making it a whole lot simpler for the patient and for us.
simulator to view function. Then, we bring the patient in on the
“Regarding cosmetic makeovers, there are some that can be done
aesthetic decision-making so they can tell me what looks pleasing in as little as two weeks. Others that involve more planning might
to them. From there we go into talking about edge design. It’s like take a month or longer. But the good news is that once cosmetic
picking the color of grout once you have the tile picked out. There treatment begins, the technique I use and teach other dentists will
are so many checkpoints that need to be established before you even result in the patient wearing temporaries that attempt to match the
start your smile makeover.”
shade and shape of the permanent porcelain
Trent W. Smallwood DDA, FACE, PC, of
veneers and crowns.
Contemporary Dental Concepts in Tempe,
“One of my favorite success stories is
[ LEARN MORE ABOUT IT ]
Arizona agrees that before the discussion
the mother of the bride who came to me two
LORIN BERLAND, DDS
of cosmetics begins, the bite must be anamonths before the wedding. She was starting
www.dallasdentalarts.com
lyzed, “Function is the basis for all success.
to realize how she would look in the wedding
TRENT W. SMALLWOOD DDA, FACE, PC
You have to expertly and comprehensively
photos! This was a case that would take at
www.cosmeticdentistryAZ.com
address the bite (function) first. I didn’t in the
least a year to complete, but I promised her
STEPHEN J. MARKUS, DMD, FACE
beginning and it cost me a lot of stomach linthat our blueprinting process would allow
www.SmileSouthJersey.com
ing. Now I look very closely at function and
me to fabricate temporaries that would fool
To learn more about the blueprinting
cosmetics as they go hand-in-hand to ensure
everyone, including the close-up lens. See
process, visit:
www.theedgesmiles.com
long term success.”
the results on our website. But what you’ll
To
see
the
mother
of
the
bride
But make no mistake about it. When consee there is not even the final result. It’s the
mentioned here, visit:
sidering cosmetic dentistry, you need to conexquisitely rendered temporaries she wore for
www.cent4dent.com/html/makeover/
sider the caliber of the dentist. “Just like you
almost a year. Mom’s smile was radiant!”
extremephotos/32.htm
M
Visit our newest location!
— Billy Crystal, Comedian
ry
ist
cos
“It’s not how you feel, it’s how you look, and
YOU LOOK MAH-VELOUS!”
e to
it T h a n M
t
e
e
g
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
39
&
events
appearances
event:
THURS, MARCH 15, 2012, 5PM-7PM:
SPEED NETWORKING WITH
GIRLFRIENDZ AND CHERRY HILL
5 STAR SENIOR LIVING:
Need to network for your job or business? Join us
after work for a fun evening of speed networking,
light dinner, wine, community tours and prizes. Bring
plenty of business cards. Location: 5 Star Senior Living, 490 Cooper Landing Rd, Cherry Hill. 856-4829300, www.cherryhillseniorliving.com. MUST RSVP
to [email protected] FREE EVENT
event:
WED, MARCH 21, 2012, 7PM-9PM:
GIRLFRIENDZ WINE TASTING
PRESENTED BY CATHERINE ALLEN,
CFPв„ў OF M FINANCIAL PLANNING
SERVICES, MARLTON & TRAINO’S WINE
& SPIRITS:
Join our host, Catherine Allen, as she holds a lively
wine tasting with delicious post-dinner refresh-
Come by yourself or come with your girlfriendz. Unless otherwise noted, all events
are FREE. You must RSVP (where speciп¬Ѓed) to [email protected]
ments, prizes and a comforting, interactive discussion in which she’ll ask, “What Keeps You Up at
Night?” Wines by Traino’s of Marlton and Voorhees.
Location: Southern United Title Insurance Company,
30 S. Maple Ave, Marlton, 856-810-0880. Catherine
Allen: 856-810-7701, [email protected] www.
trainoswine.com. MUST RSVP to [email protected] FREE EVENT
appearance:
THURS, MARCH 22, 2012, 4PM-8PM:
JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE 2ND ANNUAL
EVESHAM TWP BABY BOOMER EXPO:
See the latest in clothing, accessories, travel and
more. Location: Indian Spring Country Club, 115 S.
Elmwood Rd, Marlton. [email protected]
gov or 856-985-9792, ext 2. FREE EVENT
appearance:
FRIDAY, APRIL 20, 2012, 8PM:
JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE RITZ THEATRE FOR A SHOW AND CAST PARTY!
It’s opening night of A Funny Thing Happened on the
Way to the Forum, and we’re all invited to the private
cast party! Meet the cast and director and enjoy light
fare, wine, beer and soft drinks. Show: $31, Cast Party:
Add $10. Tickets: 856-858-5230. Must use this code:
BGFF (Best GirlFriendz Forever). Location: Ritz Theatre, Oaklyn. www.ritztheatreco.org.
event:
THURS, APRIL 26, 2012:
GIRLFRIENDZ-COLLINGSWOOD
TREASURE HUNT. MEET US BETWEEN
5PM & 6PM AT THE COLLINGSWOOD
COMMUNITY CENTER:
A fun night of shopping, networking and nibbling. Pick up your treasure hunt card, then off
you’ll go to visit and munch at: Aenigma Jewelry,
Jubili Beads & Yarns, Marlene’s Dress Shop, Michael
Bruce Florist, McGarry’s Jewelers and Two Cherubs
Antiques. Afterward, we’ll meet back at the Community Center to munch even more and give away
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appearance:
FRI, MAY 11, 2012, 10AM-4PM:
JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE CAMDEN
COUNTY REGIONAL CHAMBER
BUSINESS EXPO:
For exhibit info or to register for free attendance, contact Dawn Toal at 856-667-1600 or [email protected] and tell her Girlfriendz sent you!
Location: Cherry Hill Crowne Plaza, Rt 70 E, Cherry Hill.
FREE ADMISSION.
event:
WED, MAY 16, 2012:
GIRLS’ EVENING OUT ON THE GOLF
COURSE WITH WELLS FARGO
ADVISORS FINANCIAL CONSULTANT
SHARON GLECKNER, 5PM FOR 9 HOLES,
6PM FOR CLINIC:
Join Sharon Gleckner for an evening of Girlfriendz
Golf! For the avid golfer, we invite you to join us on
the course for 9 holes. For beginners, Sharon and
Little Mill Country Club’s golf pro George Frake will
hold a golf clinic covering everything from etiquette
on the course to ways to improve your game. Refreshments, networking, prizes and fun! Location: Little
Mill Country Club, 104 Bortons Road, Marlton. Directions and questions: 856-767-0559 ext. 24. http://
home.wellsfargoadvisors.com/gleckner. MUST RSVP
to [email protected] and tell her whether
you’re opting for the 9 holes or the clinic. FREE
EVENT. Wells Fargo Advisors, LLC and member SIPC,
Marlton, NJ
appearance:
SUNDAY, MAY 20, 2012, 1PM-4PM:
JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT A TASTE OF
EVESHAM:
An open air event on Main St, Marlton. Delicious food,
great beverages and live music. Tickets: www.taste
ofevesham.org.
event:
TUES, MAY 22, 2012:
GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT AT KOKO FITCLUB
SOUTH JERSEY:
Details to come! Location: 2095A Rt 70 E, Cherry
Hill. 856-489-KOKO (5656), www.kokofitclub.com/
locations/cherryhill MUST RSVP to [email protected] FREE EVENT
event:
THURS, JUNE 7, 2012:
GIRLS’ NIGHT OUT AT CARE-ONE
EVESHAM:
Details to come! Location: 870 Rt 70 E, Marlton. 856396-0005, www.care-one.com/locations/careone-atevesham MUST RSVP to [email protected]
FREE EVENT
appearance:
JULY 19, 2012, 7:30AM-NOON:
JOIN GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE
PHILADELPHIA BUSINESS JOURNAL’S
2ND ANNUAL WOMEN’S CONFERENCE
High-powered networking with women from across
the bridge. Breakfast/panel discussions/breakout
sessions/expo: $55; Expo only: $5. Location: Crystal
Tea Room, Wanamaker Building, Phila. Register at:
www.bizjournals.com/philadelphia/event/62511
appearance:
SUNDAY, JULY 22, 2012, 5:35PM: JOIN
GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE RIVESHARKS
& SAVE $2:
We’ll be at Campbell’s Field in Camden to wish Finley
the Shark a happy birthday! The Camden Riversharks
take on the York Revolution, followed by post-game
п¬Ѓreworks! Location: 401 N. Delaware Ave, Camden.
Tickets: 866-Sharks-9 or www.riversharks.com. Use
this code for $2 off each ticket: �GIRLFRIENDZ’
appearance:
SAT, SEPTEMBER 29, 2012: JOIN
GIRLFRIENDZ AT THE CAMDEN COUNTY
WOMEN’S HEALTH CONFERENCE.
A day just for us with keynote speaker, workshops,
free Continental Breakfast and box lunch! Location:
Eastern Regional High School in Voorhees. www.camdencounty.com FREE EVENT
g
??????
Where do you turn when you feel ready to explode,
cry, drink or overeat?
Are you struggling to break bad habits or
fulfill new passions?
I feel your pain. I’m a health
and wellness coach, who
survived a stroke and has
maintained a 50 pound
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will help motivate you to
change undesirable habits,
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Contact me and let’s get
started!
[email protected]
GETHEALTHYGETHAPPY.com
More Info: 856.667.1600 or visit us online:
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40
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
Licensed, Bonded and Insured. Senior Helpers locations
are independently owned and operated.
609-386-5941
NJ Lic Sl01711
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
41
boomer
humor
contest
Enter the Girlfriendz-Center for Dentistry “Smile Makeover” Contest!
GRAND PRIZE: A Smile Makeover Analysis and Blueprinting from The Centre for Dentistry: Have you always wanted a perfect
smile but don’t know who you can trust? Here’s your chance to win an extreme dental makeover consultation from Stephen
J. Markus, DMD, FACE, of The Centre for Dentistry at Haddon. Prize includes: evaluation, digital radiographs, photographs,
portrait, blueprinted diagnostic sculpture of what your teeth will look like and two consultations (before and after the blueprint). Not interested in a makeover? You can choose to have one tooth restored and/or tooth whitening services complete
with take-home trays, instead. www.SmileSouthJersey.com, 856-546-0665. Value: $2,000
Period Peace
BY ROZ WARREN
Happily Saying Good-bye to an Old “Friend”
I’ll never forget the first time I saw Doctor Zhivago, because that was the day I got my first
period. Other women hear “Lara’s Theme” and think “undying romance.” I think, “Help! I’m
bleeding to death!” I never did figure out the plot; I was too busy running to the bathroom
every other minute to make sure I was still okay. Mom had given me an informative talk
about what to expect. But was I emotionally prepared for the jolt of suddenly, out of the blue,
discovering it was actually happening?
No way.
I was 12. Now I’m 56. My period served its purpose—22 years ago, I successfully gave
birth. This year my “baby” graduated college. And I couldn’t be happier about the fact that
my monthly “friend” has finally taken a hike.
Some women dread menopause because it symbolizes the end of their sexy, exciting
youth. Not me. I was thrilled to toss my tampons and say “Sayonara!” to excruciating menstrual cramps. I’m not saying my period never brought me moments of joy. I’ll never forget
the thrill of finally getting that three-week-late period when I was in law school. I’d just
begun to get my life on track. I wasn’t ready to be a mother. When I got that period, my heart
soared. And one of the happiest moments of my life came when, years later, after months of
trying, the little stick turned pink. I was going to be a mom!
Neither of these unforgettable Menstrual Moments quite compares with the time my
friend Deb returned home to find her living room strewn with unused tampons. Her sons
happily announced they’d discovered her cool
Roz Warren is a Philadelphia-based
supply of “pretend hand grenades“ and had spent
writer whose work has appeared in
The Funny Times and on the websites
the morning crouched behind the sofa, ripping
Women’s Voices for Change and
them open, yanking them from their cardboard
Metropolis/Voxpop. Roz’s website is
www.rosalindwarren.com.
holders, then hurling them over the sofa, shouting, “KABOOM!”
As Mom told me solemnly when I was 12, after handing me a gigantic box of sanitary
napkins and showing me the garter belt that would hold them in place (this was the pretampon era), “It’s all part of the miracle of being a woman.”
“You’ve got to be kidding,” was my response. Even then I recognized that monthly periods weren’t so much a miracle as a ludicrously inefficient Rube Goldberg contraption for
keeping the human race going.
Sure, there’s something appealing about the way those monthly cycles gave structure to
my life, and once they vanished, my days did have a certain sameness. At times I even miss
those familiar patterns. But do I actually miss bleeding every month? Are you kidding me?
When menopause arrived, I didn’t feel as if my youth had ended. I felt like I was reclaiming the person I was when I was 12. I sat down to watch that movie and my whole life
changed. And now it’s changed again. I couldn’t be happier.
g
This essay was originally published on Women’s Voices for Change (www.womensvoices
forchange.org/period-peace-happily-saying-good-bye-to-an-old-friend.htm) and is reprinted
here with the permission of the author.
42
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
FIRST PRIZE: A Jewelry-Making
y-Making Party
Parrty at Jubili B
Beads
eads
dss & Yarns:
d
Yarnss:
Our winner will invite up to 11 of
of h
her
er friends
friiend
nd
ds ffor
orr a
fun Girls’
irls’ Night Out beaded jewelry-making
je
ew
wel
e ry-making
ng party,
ng
complete
plete with wine and chee
cheese!
eese! Each g
gi
gir
girlfriend
ir
i lfriend
will be given her own kit for the one-and-a-half
one-a
andn a-half
hour class, and the Jubili staff will walk you stepby-step through the planning, stringing and п¬Ѓnishing of a beautiful,
chic beaded necklace. When the party’s over, everyone will leave
wearing her lovely new piece of jewelry! Jubili Beads & Yarns, 713 Haddon Avenue, Collingswood, 856-858-7844, www.jubilibeadsandyarns.
com, Value: $350
In-home Assistance from Homewatch Caregivers of South Jersey: So many of us are caregivers to a loved
SECOND PRIZE:
one and can use some help ourselves. Homewatch
Caregivers is there for you and your loved one,
24/7, to offer quality, compassionate care. This
prize includes 15 hours of in-home assistance for
services such as housekeeping, laundry, meal preparation and more. Homewatch Caregivers serves Camden, Burlington
and Gloucester Counties. 856-833-9449, www.homewatchcaregivers.
com/south-jersey/home-care.aspx. Value: $325
THIRD PRIZE: Fashions by Penina TravelWear for you and Your
BFF: How much fun would it be to drop by Penina’s with your BFF so
that each of you could choose an outfit of your
very own? You’ll each get $150 to spend on
Penina’s Travel Collection—a classic selection
of easy-to-pack, easy-to-pair tops, bottoms
jackets.
versatile,
and
n ja
acketts.
tss.
s . In ve
v
ersatile, neutral
neutra
tra
ra
al black
black or brown,
brow the only trouble you’ll
hav
have
ave iss m
making
aki
king up
ki
py
you
your
o r mind! Fashions by Pen
Penina, 11 E Main St, Marlton,
856596-1610,
www.fashionsbypenina.com.
856
5 - 5969 6 1610, www
w w.fashionsbypenina.com. Value: $300
ww
Es
Essential MasPRIZE:
FOURTH
H PR
P
IZE: A Massage Party at Esther’s
sage & B
Bodywork
odywork for Women. Our winner
winn and three of her girlfriends will each be treated to a relaxing, rejuvenating massage at
Esther Greenberg’s Mt. Laurel location. Enjoy
delicious teas and refreshments while de-stressing with your BFFs. Esther offers personalized
sessions in Swedish, deep pressure and deep tissue massage, to assist in relieving stress, anxiety
and pain; improve flexibility and range of motion,
reduce stiffness and strengthen the immune system, plus so much more. www.therapeuticandmedicalmassagenj.com Value: $200
FIFTH PRIZE:
Steel Pony
Designers Joanne Litz and Dennis Wolk offer
comfortable fashions that blur the boundaries between haute couture and wearable
art. Each piece is handmade, produced in the
USA. Collect, mix, match and layer to п¬Ѓnd your
personal Steel Pony style. Our winner will receive a gift certificate for
non-sale items. www.steelpony.com 215-467-6065. Value: $125
TO WIN: Winners will be chosen at random.
TO ENTER: Visit www.girlfriendzmag.com/contests.
Only those entries with all requested information
will be considered valid. Deadline for entries:
4/18/2012 at 11:59 PM. Good luck!
DISCLAIMER: All prize winners and their guests release
The Word Source, LLC, Girlfriendz Magazine, all prize
donors and all employees and representatives of these
companies from any and all responsibility for any loss
or damage to their property, or any injuries or loss
of life. Winners and guests are responsible for their
own transportation to and from prize venues. The
Word Source, LLC and Girlfriendz Magazine have
no affiliation with any of their sponsors and cannot be responsible for any actions of their sponsors which result in harm or injury to a prize
winner or guest. The Word Source, LLC and
Girlfriendz Magazine cannot be responsible
to replace a prize should the sponsor cease to
do business or refuse to honor a prize. The
Word Source, LLC and Girlfriendz Magazine
are not responsible for entries that get lost in
cyberspace. No substitution of prizes. Prizes
may change as a result of availability.
A Gift Certificate from Steel Pony:
Congratulations
to the Winners of Our GirlfriendzStudio K “Photo Shoot” Contest!
GRAND PRIZE:
A Photo Shoot plus 2 Legacy Photo Albums from Studio K
for you and your BFF. www.studioknj.com. Value: $650
Winner: Marly Constantino of Marlton
FIRST PRIZE:
A Show and Cast Party at Ritz Theatre for you and 7 BFFs.
www.ritztheatreco.org. Value: $350
Winner: Sue Schwartz of Marlton
SECOND PRIZE: A Massage in Motion Massage Party.
www.massageinmotionbus.com. Value: $325
Winner: Concetta Keebler of Turnersville
THIRD PRIZE: Jewelry and Mary Kay by Marisol.
www.marykay.com/marisol.miranda, www.miranda5749.etsy.com. Value: $300
Winner: Kristine Vece of Turnersville
FOURTH PRIZE:
Tanks a Lotв„ў by Slimpressions for you and 2 of your BFFs.
www.slimpressions.com/product/tanks-lot. Value: $162
Winner: Linda Coleman of Marlton
FIFTH PRIZE:
Vintage Magazine Handbag from Two Cherubs Antiques.
www.twocherubsantiques.wordpress.com. Value: $120
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GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
43
AMONG
friendz
Don’t Date a Man Who…
BY PATRICIA QUIGLEY
SECONDS INTO AN UNINVITED CONVERSATION WITH A GUY AT THE DELI
COUNTER OF MY FAVORITE SUPERMARKET, MY RADAR WAS PINGING LIKE
CRAZY. Now, I am one of those people who will talk to pretty much
anyone, and I certainly do not object to speaking with a handsome
middle-aged man. But my gut told me something was off. This guy
really hadn’t said anything terribly wrong, and by far he was not the
most obnoxious guy who had ever hit on me. But he literally had gotten into my space as he started bragging about his business, and I
felt uncomfortable. I maneuvered myself so my shopping cart stood
between the two of us, pretended to switch some food around, grabbed
my order and scooted off as soon as I could.
I’m not always great at it, but I’m a firm believer in listening to my
gut when it comes to men (and life in general), because sometimes
that gut starts waving little red warning flags. I also believe in listening
to people I trust, because sometimes they see red flags that my “love
goggles” might blur. With that in mind, I asked some women and men
for some cautionary tips for women as they maneuver the dating world.
1. Don’t date a man who doesn’t have
friends, I once read. That made a lot
of sense to me. If he can’t maintain a
friendship, he won’t be able to handle
a romance. If he doesn’t have friends,
he’s more likely to resent my time with
mine, and that, I fear, would trigger control issues. I don’t do control well at all.
2. Don’t date a guy who has always lived
with his mother or you might be dealing
with someone who is looking to exchange one
mommy for another, advised a middle-aged,
happily married friend who actually did
just that. I’d add the caveat: if he is
living with a parent or parents
to take care of them, that is a
noble thing and ups his “value.” If he’s living with them
to have his food cooked and
his laundry done, run.
3. From Steve*, a married
dad from my church who
has been out of the dating
game for 30 years: “I think
there are very few guys
who simply view women
as conquests and try to
get as many notches on
the headboard as possible, although they do
exist. That being said, I
44
GIRLFRIENDZ MAGAZINE – GirlfriendzMag.com
also think women should watch out for the type of man who never
seems satisfied, who is always looking over the next hill, whether it is
about his job, his car, his house or his girl. I think this is indicative of
his immaturity and his own lack of self-esteem. These men (and I know
one or two) are not selfish and do not set out to hurt anyone, but they
never let a relationship develop beyond the �wow, you’re hot’ stage.
For some reason, many women are drawn to this type of man, maybe
because he seems exciting. A man who constantly seeks excitement
confuses stability and growth as boredom.”
4. From my call-it-like-it-is cousin Frannie*: Stay clear of a man who
is clingy or too dependent on you, plagued by his past, lacks people/
communication skills, lies, doesn’t let you into his world, has a seemingly futile future, seems to have anger issues, is more interested in
your body than you or has religious beliefs that are totally different
than yours.
5. From a Gen X friend, a divorced mom with an exciting career and
great new man in her life: stay clear if he has no passion for life, doesn’t
respect your time with your kids, has temper/anger issues, never offers
to pay for anything, doesn’t have friends (!), has “ex” drama, is extremely jealous, enjoys fighting, enjoys drama, is too competitive with you
and is obsessive about the way you or he looks.
6. And this from one of the п¬Ѓnest men I know, which just points to
the fact that you should stick to guys with a sense of humor:
“Geez -- isn’t being a man red flag enough?”
(*All names have been changed to protect the
privacy of those friends and family who shared
their thoughts – and warnings – for this column. None of them is a trained counselor, so please remember this is simply
an opinion piece. Want to share
your warning signs with fellow
Girlfriendz? Go to www.face
book.com/girlfriendz and
post there.)
g
Patricia Quigley is an award-winning
public relations practitioner and
journalist, proud South Jersey girl and
middle-of-the-pack Boomer. She holds
a BA in communications and an MA in
writing from Rowan University and has
written for local, regional, national and
international media.
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