WHEN WE
ASSUME…
BY CAREN C. JENKINS, ESQ.
Client intake is a difficult task.
We size up strangers — our
prospective clients — making
assumptions about their credibility,
their ability to pay our fees, the
possibility of prevailing in their claims and
the likelihood that we will enjoy working with
them. We have them fill out forms and questionnaires,
learn more about them through their documents and take
in all the information we can. Only then do we evaluate
their cases and fill in the blanks. But we must make certain
assumptions in order to fill in the blanks. And sometimes
we fail to put the proper energy into determining the
validity of our assumptions. In doing so, we make asses of
ourselves and others in the process.
22 Nevada Lawyer
351079_A.indd 22
July 2015
7/7/15 10:45 AM
…
We, more than other
professionals, must realize that a fact
is not a fact until it has been proven.
Making assumptions about people is
as dangerous as going to trial without
having done discovery. Our lesbian,
gay, bisexual and transgender clients
have lots of experience with people
who have failed to take a good look
before making assumptions regarding
their gender, and with those who
refuse to acknowledge the reality
of 2015: that gender is fluid, gay
marriage is not only legal but prevalent
in Nevada, and the stereotypes and
assumptions we may have been able to
rely upon 60 years ago are no longer
reasonable.
When a 35-year-old man comes
to your office with an 8-year-old girl,
do you assume she is his daughter? His
sister? Do you assume he is married?
Divorced? To, or from, a woman?
What about a 40-year-old woman with
short hair, who is wearing jeans, a polo
shirt, sneakers and no makeup — any
assumptions? What about a 28-yearold supermodel with fingernail polish
and a short skirt? The captain of your
son’s college rugby squad? Or the
paunchy old guy in a Dodgers cap,
playing bingo at the senior center? The
athletes and celebrities who have come
out publicly as LGBT should help to
guide us away from many common
assumptions.
One phrase kept coming into my
mind again and again as I pondered
this issue. I undertook to determine the
origins of the phrase using the most
credible and reliable source available:
Google. I searched “What happens
when you assume?” The first hit the
search returned attributed the phrase to
351079_A.indd 23
Hmmm. I began to wonder
none other than the well-known Cover
whether it was mere coincidence, or
Girl and comedic lesbian archetype,
whether there was some cryptic link
Ellen DeGeneres: “You should never
between the term “assume” and being
assume. You know what happens when
gay. The next Google hit sealed the
you assume. You make an ass out of
deal: It attributed the phrase to the
you and me, because that’s how it’s
prolific author, poet and playwright
spelled.”
Oscar Wilde. While Wilde was
I was surprised to learn that Ellen
married and had three children, he and
had coined the phrase, because I had
his wife lived largely separate lives.
heard it from my parents well before
His relationships with other men were
Ellen came out on TV in 1997 and
more or less an open secret, but his
became famous for her wisdom. So,
affair with the son
assuming Google
of a Marquis led
got it wrong, I
“You
should
never
to his eventual
researched further.
assume. You know
conviction
The next hit
what happens when
on charges of
offered a seemingly
you assume. You
sodomy. He was
a more reliable
sentenced to two
source: National
make an ass out of you
years of hard
Public Radio (NPR).
and me, because that’s
labor in prison,
In 2011, Jeff Brady
how it’s spelled.”
which took an
of NPR News
enormous toll on
attributed the phrase
his health. Wilde died in 1900, just a
to Felix Unger of The Odd Couple — a
few years after his release, at age 46.
1970’s sitcom. The Odd Couple was
“When you assume, you make an
a show about two middle-aged men
ass of you and me.”
living together in a small New York
That was enough. Three gay
apartment. Felix Unger, played by Tony
or presumably gay figures — all
Randall, was a fastidious photographer
deemed to have coined the phrase
with many feminine characteristics.
— all determined to convince others
While Unger dated women on the
not to make assumptions. There is
show, the writers involved him
some lesson here, though I don’t dare
in numerous scenes in which his
assume to know what it might be.
exaggerated gestures, fussy cleanliness
and abilities in the kitchen inferred
homosexuality. Brady’s attribution
included a link to a video showing
Felix cross examining a witness in a
CAREN C. JENKINS
courtroom. When she testified that
is a reformed litigator
she assumed, he wrote the word on a
who now practices
chalkboard, and with an abundance of
estate and probate
flourish, explained and circled portions
law in northern Nevada.
of the word: “When you assume, you
This is her third contribution
make an ‘ass’ of ‘u’ and ‘me.’”
to Nevada Lawyer.
serving as
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Executive Direc
Nevada Commission on Et
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July 2015
Lawyer
23
on Ethics, appointed by the Le
Commission in 2003, and partic
10:45 AM
Commissioner in the 7/7/15
ethics
heari