Park House
Equality & Diversity
Leadership Group
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Agenda
Leading difficult conversations
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On your tables share examples
of where you might need to
have a difficult conversation
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What are the factors that have
enabled you to have successful
conversations in the past?
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High
S
U
P
P
O
R
T
Lose/Win
Win/Win
Lose/Lose
Win/Lose
Low
Low
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Challenge
High
What do you need to do?
Pre
Conversation
Post
Conversation
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During the
Conversation
6
The Conversation
Activity
Before
Plan & Prepare
During
(Goals) Opening
(Reality) Self-appraisal & Feedback
(Options) brainstorm
(Will) Action plan & reach
Agreement
After
Monitor & evaluate
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7
The Conversation
Activity
Before
Plan & Prepare




Send invitation time / place
Be clear on your desired outcomes
Gather evidence of performance
Ask interviewee to come prepared
During
(Goals) Opening





Explain the structure
Define the ground rules
State the purpose (goals)
Encourage the person to talk
Listen actively
(Reality) Self-appraisal & Feedback


Ask questions to clarify
Give balanced feedback



Ask for ideas from the coachee to move forward
Share yours where applicable
Build consensus
(Will) Action plan & reach
Agreement


Agree objectives
Agree training and development plan
After
Monitor & evaluate
 Follow up at an agreed interval to support and
challenge
(Options) brainstorm
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8
Use the G.R.O.W. model flexibly to structure coaching conversations.
Its purpose is to raise awareness in the first three areas of GOAL, REALITY
and OPTIONS whilst enabling the coachee to choose to take responsibility
in the final WILL section.
GOAL
Agree both the goal of the session and the issue
What do you want to achieve?
What would be your ideal outcome?
What does success look like?
How much personal control do you have over your goal?
What would be a milestone along the way?
How specific, measurable, ambitious, realistic and timely is your goal? (SMART)
When do you want to achieve it by?
REALITY
Probe to understand the core issues (What, When, Where, Who, How much, How often).
What is happening now?
Who is involved in the issue? (Directly & indirectly)
What have you done about this so far?
What have been the results so far?
OPTIONS
What options do you have?
What else could you do?
What if you had more time, money, power or a fresh start?
Would you like another suggestion?
What are the benefits and costs of each?
WILL
Establish clear first steps with diarised time.
What will you do?
When will you take a first step?
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What sort of objections/issues
might be raised?
Issues
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Ways to handle
10
Handling people/objections
 People become emotional/angry
 People are disengaged with the process
 The system isn’t fair
 Not my fault that I didn’t achieve the goals
 The school has not given me the right support
 You (leader) have not helped
 This is news to me, what are you talking about?
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Handling people/objections
 People become
emotional/angry.
 People are disengaged with the
process.
 The system isn’t fair.
 Not my fault that I didn’t achieve
the goals.
 The school has not given me the
right support.
 You (leader) have not helped.
 This is news to me, what are
you talking about?
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Handling people/objections
 People become
emotional/angry.
 People are disengaged with the
process.
 The system isn’t fair.
 Not my fault that I didn’t achieve
the goals.
 The school has not given me the
right support.
 You (leader) have not helped.
 This is news to me, what are
you talking about?
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 Stay calm and listen.
 Ask them what are their concerns?
What would motivate them?
 We endeavour to make it fair and it is
the same for everyone.
 Tell me what happened? What were you
responsible for?
 Tell me about the situation. The facts as
I have them are…
 Tell me about that! Let me share the
support you have been given…
 Well let me share with you the facts /
evidence from last year…
The 5 E’s of handling difficult conversations
Ethical
Values
Exit
Empathise
Explore
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Explain
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Handling difficult conversations
Ethical
values
Your values underpin your personal behaviour. Honesty, integrity
and also a desire to do the best for your pupils will give you the
courage to tackle the issue at hand.
Empathise
Be calm and collected. Show that you understand them as a
person. Listen carefully and diffuse any anxiety or anger.
Explain
Explain the rational behind your thinking, i.e. the purpose of
pursuing these standards is that you want every pupil in this
school to have every opportunity to succeed in life
Explore
Ask for the interviewee to clarify their position. Share the
evidence. Draw ideas from them on how to move forward.
Exit
Complete the discussion by asking them to take personal
responsibility (as a professional) for their performance and
actions.
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15
Handling difficult conversations
Think of a scenario and plan how you
will conduct the conversation!
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16
Practice makes perfect
Goal
What do you want to
achieve?
Reality
What is happening
now?
Options
What could you do?
Will
What will you do?
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17
Difficult conversations
What has been the personal learning
from this morning’s session?
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Lunch
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