Feeding and building a loving
relationship with your baby
A guide for parents
Your midwife will be available to discuss this information with you; talking about your needs,
expectations and hopes, helping you explore what you know and what you understand about
the practical realities of feeding your baby (either with breast or artificial milk).
Download the Baby Buddy app for lots of useful information: www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/babybuddy
Pregnancy and childhood
The foundation for good parenting begins
during your pregnancy and continues as
your baby grows.
The consistent, positive loving care you
give your baby now and throughout
childhood, helps the formation of life-long
relationships and learning, and has a
lasting impact for health and wellbeing.
When a baby’s needs for love and comfort
are met, they release a hormone called
oxytocin which helps them feel calmer,
happy and grow up to be more confident
and secure.
Babies do not become more demanding or
spoilt if you give them too much attention.
Saying hello to your baby, starting today
Instinctively, you will have started to form and nurture a relationship with your baby. Try taking
time out every day to relax, and you can soothe your baby when he kicks by touching your
bump, talking and singing. Dads/partners can do this too!
From 20 weeks, your baby’s brain grows very quickly and will
respond to sounds and how you feel. S/he will recognise different
voices and sounds. Try playing music and see if your baby reacts
when you play the music again.
Look how he moves, yawns, sucks his thumb, swallows and sleeps
when you have an ultrasound scan.
Antenatal hand expressing your milk
Some mothers find they leak small amounts of colostrum (the first milk) from their breasts from
as early as 28 weeks. We will teach all mothers how to hand express milk from 36 weeks.
To watch a video and for more information visit:
www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/Parents/Resources/AudioVideo/?Page=2
Babies with special feeding needs
If you have diabetes in pregnancy, or your baby has been diagnosed with a cleft lip or palate,
we will encourage you to hand express your milk from 37 weeks and store your colostrum in
your freezer. You can then give this milk to your baby if s/he needs additional milk after the birth.
Breastfeeding another child during pregnancy
If you are breastfeeding another child through this pregnancy, you will be able to feed both your
new baby and older child following the birth. Always feed your new baby first.
Following the birth and meeting your baby for the first time
Skin-to-skin contact is exactly what your baby needs to calm and
warm him after his birth. Whilst in skin-to-skin contact, you and
your baby will release the hormone oxytocin, which helps you
both feel close and happy.
So spend some time getting to know baby, resting and relaxing
together (it’s ok to put a nappy on your baby). It’s also a lovely
way for your husband/partner to feel close to baby and form a
special bond after you have fed him/her. If you’re unable to have
contact immediately after birth, skin-to-skin contact can start as
soon as you are both well enough.
During this time, your baby will start to show signs of wanting to feed. It’s lovely to hold your
baby this way until after the first feed, whether you breast or bottle feed, and ideally for at least
an hour. Babies who have spent an hour in skin-to-skin contact are less stressed following their
birth. This means that his/her breathing and heart rate will be better controlled, s/he will cry less
and when s/he starts to feed, s/he’ll digest milk better.
Skin-to-skin contact also helps your baby to pick up some of the friendly bacteria from your skin,
which helps protect him/her from catching infections. Try skin-to-skin before each feed or at any
time. It can also encourage your baby to instinctively feed and increase your milk supply.
Responsive parenting is the key to forming good relationships
Responsive parenting relies on your baby being close to you.
You will quickly learn what your baby is telling you. Try talking
and singing softly to him/her, and holding baby close, so his/her
face is next to yours to give eye contact. Give your baby plenty
of time to respond to you.
Keep your baby close to you during the day and at night in
his/her crib/cot. This will help you feel more confident in feeding
and comforting your baby. It will also make life easier for you.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your baby is maternal responsiveness.
It will help you to see when your baby shows
signs of wanting to feed (feeding cues)
- e.g. starting to stir, wriggle, opening his/her
mouth, or putting hands in his/her mouth.
Crying can be a late message that your
baby is hungry, so s/he will be more relaxed
if you feed before s/he is too hungry.
Babies are not able to learn routines.
Responding to your baby this way will not
‘spoil’ him/her, but will help him feel safe
and secure.
The early care you give your baby has a
long-lasting impact on his/her development
and ability to learn. It helps your baby
develop healthy brain connections. S/he will
be able to regulate emotions better and
form good relationships with you and
others.
By nurturing and cherishing baby this way,
s/he will gain confidence and respond
normally to stressful life situations as s/he
develops and grows.
Caring for your baby at night
One of the biggest challenges as a new parent is getting used to the changes that a new baby
will bring to your night time routine. The UNICEF UK leaflet, “Caring for your baby at night”
offers helpful, practical advice on coping at night. Download it from:
www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/Parents/Resources/Resources-for-parents/
Persistant crying at night might indicate your baby is unwell; speak to your midwife, health
visitor or GP if you have any concerns.
Feeding your baby
Understanding why breastfeeding is so important - for your baby and you
The type of bacteria (bugs) in your baby’s stomach and intestine (gut)
play an essential role in your baby’s life-long health and wellbeing. How a
baby is delivered and fed has an impact on his/her gut (e.g. after a
Caesarean delivery, a baby’s gut is not exposed to normal bacteria from
your skin). Breastfeeding promotes ‘healthy’ good bacteria, which
stimulate the growth of baby’s immune system to fight infection and
provide protection against harmful bacteria. Breast milk contains
substances that help the healthy bacteria to form up to 75% of the total
gut bacteria, which helps to prevent diarrhoea and vomiting
(gastroenteritis). Evidence suggests that exclusive breastfeeding has a
stronger effect on protecting your baby from Sudden Infant Death
Syndrome (SIDS).
Artificially fed babies are at a greater risk of having chest, ear and urinary tract infections. They
are also at greater risk of allergic diseases, such as eczema and asthma, insulin dependent
diabetes and childhood leukaemia. Babies who are given artificial milk, have bacteria in their
stomachs that are more commonly found in an adult gut; this puts them at greater risk of infection.
Breast milk is an important food for any baby, but especially a premature baby (born before 37
weeks). Premature babies who receive artificial milk are at an increased risk (up to 10 times
greater) of a serious bowel disease called necrotising enterocolitis (NEC). Evidence suggests
that breast milk decreases its occurrence and severity. Breast milk contains antibodies, gut
growth factors and other protective substances that appear to promote growth of the intestine
and strengthen its immunologic barrier.
Your health and wellbeing - breast milk feeding helps to protect you against breast and ovarian
cancer, hip fractures and weak bones. Every drop, feed and day you give your baby breast
milk, makes a difference to both of you. For more information go to:
https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/what-is-baby-friendly/the-benefits-of-breastfeeding/
BREASTFEEDING can be used to feed, comfort and calm your baby. You can feed your baby
when s/he is showing signs of being upset, lonely, when your breasts feel fuller or if you just
want to sit down and rest with your baby.
How do I know my baby is feeding effectively and getting enough milk?
All babies only have small stomachs, so they feed frequently.
Learn to notice your baby’s feeding cues to ensure s/he feeds often enough, responding to
his/her needs. A baby will have a least 8 feeds in 24 hours; usually you will find it is more,
especially in the early days. Look out for signs that your baby is feeding/suckling effectively. A
baby is feeding well when s/he has 1 to 2 sucks per swallow and is slow and rhythmical. Feed
your baby as long as s/he wants, so long as s/he is feeding well. Some feeds are short, some
longer. Sometimes s/he may feed from both sides or only one side.
Look in baby’s nappy; s/he should have at least 2 poos a day until s/he is 4 - 6 weeks old. The
number of wet nappies will increase day by day and get heavier. By day 5, s/he should have at
least 5 heavy wet nappies. Do not introduce teats or dummies as they can reduce the number
of feeds and milk supply available to your baby. Do not give artificial or other milks as this will
reduce your milk supply. Your breasts will feel warmer, fuller and softer after a feed.
Preventing sore nipples/overfull breasts and other problems
Make sure you hold and attach your baby well. If feeding is painful, s/he may not have enough
breast in his/her mouth. Try again and reposition him/her at the breast. Watch the video clip
about understanding about good positioning at the breast, and why it can be uncomfortable:
www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/Parents/Resources/AudioVideo/
If you want to bottle feed your baby, consider giving him/her expressed breast milk. Dads can
help with breast milk feeds too! Talk to your midwife about expressing your milk and giving this
to your baby as an alternative to artificial milk.
Making up a feed
If you have you chosen to artificially feed your baby, your midwife will discuss with you the
importance of making up milk safely. UNICEF UK has produced “A Guide to infant formula for
parents who are bottle feeding” and “A guide to bottle feeding”. Download from:
www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/Parents/Resources/Resources-for-parents/
Bringing in milk for your baby
Please note: the maternity wards do not routinely provide baby milk. If you decide to artificially
feed your baby, you will need to bring in milk for your baby. Starter packs, containing 6 bottles
of ready-made milk with teats, are available from most supermarkets/chemist shops etc.
Babies should only be given 1st milks up to 1 year of age.
Help and support - in hospital and at home
You’re never alone. Our staff, your health visitor and breastfeeding support teams/volunteers
are available to help you. You will be given contact telephone numbers of breastfeeding
counsellors and you can attend ‘mother-to-mother’ local support groups in your area.
During the first 10 days after the birth, a midwife or maternity support worker will assess how
you are managing with feeding at least twice, offering support and advice as needed.
Some key websites we recommend:
www.unicef.org.uk/BabyFriendly/Parents/
Download our breastfeeding booklet - scan the code or go to:
www.derbyhospitals.nhs.uk/about/depts/maternity/breastfeeding-information/
National Childbirth Trust
www.nct.org.uk
La Leche League
www.laleche.org.uk
NHS Choices
www.nhs.uk
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
https://abm.me.uk
Breastfeeding Network
www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk
Twins and Multiple Births
www.tamba.org.uk
Baby Milk Action
www.babymilkaction.org
Breastfeeding Family Online (Derbyshire)
www.breastfeedingderbys.co.uk
Baby Buddy App www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/babybuddy
References
National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (2006) NICE Clinical Guideline 37. Routine Postnatal Care of
Women and their Babies. www,nice.org.uk/CG037
UNICEF UK (2013) The evidence and rationale for the UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Standards. London: UNICEF
UK. Visit www.unicef.org.uk for more information.
If you have any queries or require further information,
please contact your Community Midwife.
P1954/1465/11.2015/VERSION5
© Copyright. Any external organisations and websites included here do not necessarily reflect the views of the Trust, nor does their inclusion constitute a recommendation.