BIG QUESTION ANSWER
SCORE POINT 4
This writer of this essay took a clear stand and supported the position with reference to four
specific artifacts. A clear organizational plan—introduction, support, and conclusion—is
followed. Counterclaims are addressed effectively. There is appropriate sophistication of
vocabulary and sentence structure. Lapses in the correct use of punctuation do not significantly
distract from the writer’s meaning.
What is the Most Important Relationship we have?
The most important relationship an individual can have is the relationship he has with
himself. It is important to know that in order to achieve happiness, an individual has to come to
terms with who he is, what he wants in life, and how he will accomplish his goals. Being at
peace with one’s character and the acceptance of the self, are both key components in reaching a
full understanding of the meaning of one’s life. In order to understand ourselves however, an
inner relationship needs to be established; a relationship that puts together all that we are not, all
that we want to be, and all that we actually are.
“Self-Reliance” by Ralph Waldo Emerson speaks of the importance of individuality. The
speaker, Emerson, writes about his inner thoughts regarding the essence of individual thought. A
major theme throughout the essay is that one must be a nonconformist; that one must follow
intuition and not follow the social norms set by other people’s criticism/judgment. Throughout
Emerson’s essay, it can be gathered that because Emerson speaks about the importance of
individuality, he persuades the reader to disregard outside behavioral trends. Emerson’s thoughts
lead the reader to believe that one should be more concerned with being an individual than with
being concerned with others, thus establishing that the most important relationship we have is
with ourselves.
Eat, Pray, Love is a movie based off of a novel by the same name, written by journalist
Elizabeth Gilbert, whose character in the film is played by Julia Roberts. The movie is about
Gilbert’s journey into self-discovery following a detrimental divorce. Gilbert undergoes a severe
depression crisis, where she finds herself being very unhappy with where she is in her life;
reasons that ultimately lead her to engage in a journey in order to find what she is truly missing.
Gilbert’s journey mainly centers on her inner relationship, which urgently calls for her to come
to peace with her spirituality. Gilbert also finds that she needs a certain balance in her life that
incorporates religion and love so that she can reach fulfillment throughout her life. Overall,
Gilbert experiences bring forth the idea that finding oneself is a necessity in the process of
achieving happiness.
Factual data and research have also been conducted that lead people to believe that their
inner relationship is more important than they think. A news article featured on USA Today
titled “What’s on Americans’ Minds? Increasingly “Me” discussed a study conducted that
Comment [WU1]: Parallel construction
demonstrates a facility with sentence structure.
Comment [WU2]: Diction throughout this
paragraph (“noncomformist,” “intuition,” “social
norms,” behavioral trends) lend an air of
sophistication to the writer’s voice.
Comment [WU3]: Incorrect use of punctuation,
here and in several other places, does not distract
from the writer’s meaning.
analyzed words and phrases found in 750,000 books that were published within the last 50 years.
The results showed that these pieces of writing contained the usage of “I” more than the usage of
“we”. The results of the research convey that since the 1960s, American’s have been more
inclined to promote the individual over the group. The news story provides proof that society is
more concerned with individuality than with society as a group; if people are more often thinking
of themselves as individuals, then that means that the most important relationship they have is
with themselves.
There are some individuals who argue that external relationships are more important than the
inner relationship each individual has with himself. Many people believe that they have a moral
obligation to their community, as was the case during the Civil Rights movement, or even in the
late 1700s during the American Revolutionary period where slaves were fighting for their
freedom. In a noted example, a letter written by Phillis Wheatly to a reverend by the name of
Samson Occum, discussed the need for equal rights for African American slaves in the United
States. Such a letter promotes the idea that people have an obligation to their community to unite
as a nation in order to achieve a common goal, therefore communicating that a relationship with
the community is more important than a relationship with simply the self.
There are many obligations we as individuals have to tend to; some including obligations at
work, at home, or at school. Obligations imply a role in society and interaction with others,
which establish many different relationships. There are some relationships, such as emotional
ones, that require much effort, and in return give back great satisfaction, as other external
relationships do, but no external relationship will ever give back happiness and contentment if a
relationship with the self is not in a healthy condition. In order to love, to understand, and to
respect others, we must first love, understand, and respect ourselves. Without the understanding
of our own desires and the knowledge of our own identity, it is impossible to establish successful
relationships with others; ergo, the most important relationship we have is with ourselves.
Comment [WU4]: Citation of numerical data
lends credibility to the writer’s argument.
Comment [WU5]: The writer addresses the
counterclaim.
Comment [WU6]: Awkward sentence structure
throughout the essay keep it from being “perfect,”
but they do not significantly distract from an
otherwise well-crafted argument.