Dealing with
Conflict
Transforming Aggravation
into an Organizational Asset
A Presentation for the Ohio Network of
Physician Recruiters
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.
October 27, 2004
What’s the point?
• Conflict happens.
• Most of us
– Avoid dealing with it
whenever possible, and
– Handle it less well than
we might when we are
forced to deal with it.
• Managing conflict
effectively is hard.
• This presentation will
suggest some practical
strategies that can help.
• We could do better.
• And we must.
• After listening to this
presentation, you will be
able to
– List three reasons why we
avoid conflict
– List three reasons why we
usually manage conflict
badly,
– List three strategies for
dealing effectively with
conflict
– Explain why these three
strategies make sense,
and
– Describe exactly how to
do it.
Why do we avoid conflict?
• Because it makes us uncomfortable
• Because we don’t know what to do
• Because we don’t have much
experience
• Because most of our role models
manage conflict badly
• Because no one will help us
• Because it’s the course of least
resistance
• Because we can get away with it
• Because it’s what everybody else
does
• Because there are so many less
important things to do
How do we manage conflict badly?
• We try to manage it when we are upset.
• We fail to prepare for it.
• We view discomfort as something to be
avoided at all costs.
• We rely on opinion more than data.
• We believe that all conflict can and must be
resolved.
• We invest more energy in debating than in
understanding.
• We fail to document our interventions.
What are some practical strategies for
dealing more effectively with conflict?
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Prepare for it.
Know when to do nothing.
Know when to react.
Never pledge confidentiality
beforehand.*
Beware requests to ventilate.
Wring out the emotion first.*
Insist that complainers take
some personal responsibility.
Consider both sides before
taking a position.
Do not permit ambushes.
Remind everyone that
perception is reality.
• Ask for data.
• Focus on behavior instead of
motive.*
• Attach consequences to bad
behavior.
• Find a way for everyone to
save face.
• Consider possible
consequences from the start.
• Come up with a specific plan.
• See the plan through.
• Treat career troublemakers
differently.
• Get over it and move on.
• Coach and mentor others.
Never pledge
beforehand.
confidentiality
• Why should you?
– These folks usually want
to avoid accountability.
– Agreeing beforehand
makes you an accomplice.
– It limits your options
before you even know
what the issue is.
– It encourages a culture of
secrecy.
– It promotes comfort when
discomfort is called for.
• How can you?
– Resist the tendency to
agree instinctively.
– Employ the universal
answer, “It depends.”
– Accept their desire, but
postpone commitment.
– If issue must be revealed,
give him a chance to go
first.
– If you mistakenly agree,
admit your mistake and
withdraw your
commitment.
Wring out the emotion first.
• Why should you?
– Emotion distorts
everyone’s perceptions,
including yours.
– Emotion compels
impulsive reactions that
usually turn out to be
mistakes.
– Emotional arousal is
always defensive and
irrational.
– Emotions must be
legitimized first.
• How can you?
– Recognize emotional
arousal in yourself and
others.
– Identify it, accept it and
express it.
– Admit your own
temporary insanity.
– Allow (a little) time to
pass.
– Write out a ventilation
document, then file it
away.
Focus on behavior instead of motive
when preparing to confront others.
• Why should you?
–
–
–
–
It’s observable.
It’s non-judgmental
It can be corroborated.
It provides valuable
feedback.
– A focus on behavior
creates detached
observers instead of
passionate partisans.
• How can you?
– Concentrate on remaining
a detached observer.
– As an investigator, elicit
facts instead of
conclusions.
– Assume the best possible
motive in others.
– Make notes.
– Be specific.
– Be descriptive and use
quotations.
What have you learned?
•
•
•
•
Conflict happens.
Few leaders manage it well.
All leaders could manage it better.
Conflict can be constructive or
destructive, depending on how it’s
managed.
• There are ways to manage conflict
better.
• If you wait until you feel like
implementing these, you will wait a
long time.
• This is not easy, but the payoff is
worth the effort.
Where can you learn more?
•
Stewart, Kendall L., et. al. A Portable Mentor for
Organizational Leaders, SOMCPress, 2003 (This
book can be ordered from www.Amazon.com)
Stewart, Kendall L., “Physician Traps: Some
•
July 24, 2002
Stewart, Kendall L. et. al, “On Being Successful at
•
•
Practical Ways to Avoid Becoming a Miserable
Doctor” An SOMCPress White Paper, SOMCPress,
SOMC: Some Practical Guidelines for New
Physicians” An SOMCPress White Paper,
SOMCPress, January 2001
Stewart, Kendall L., “Bigwigs Behaving Badly:
Understanding and Coping with Notable
Misbehavior” An SOMCPress White Paper,
SOMCPress, March 11, 2002 (For a limited time,
this White Paper can be downloaded from
http://www.somc.org/NRSOMCPress/WhitePapers.htm.)
•
Stewart, Kendall L., “Relationships: Building and
Sustaining the Interpersonal Foundations of
Organizational Success” An SOMCPress White
Paper, SOMCPress, March 11, 2002
How can we contact you?
Kendall L. Stewart, M.D.
Medical Director
Southern Ohio Medical Center
President & CEO
The SOMC Medical Care Foundation, Inc.
1805 27th Street
Portsmouth, Ohio 45662
740.356.8153
[email protected]
[email protected]
www.somc.org
www.KendallLStewartMD.com
What questions remain?
www.somc.org
Southern Ohio Medical Center
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