Refuse or Lose
STOP AND THINK!
• You will have to make many decisions
• STOP and consider consequences
ASSERTIVENESS
• Firm voice
• Hands on hip
• Eye to eye
SAY NO!
• “No, thanks I don’t smoke”
• “No you cant have my lunch money
because its all I have”
CHANGE SUBJECT
• “that was a great game”
• “Have you finished your
project”
• “Look! what’s that”
ASK QUESTIONS
• “what are you
asking me to do”
• Why would you want
me to do that”
• “What is your
problem”
GIVE REASONS
• “I don’t want to get into
trouble”
• “I think differently than
you”
• “If I did that I would feel
bad about it”
USE HUMOR/SARCASM
• “You have to be
kidding; that beer
can hurt the inside
of my body”
• “Sure, that’s a great
idea, then I’d be
grounded for
weeks!”
SUGGEST SOMETHING
ELSE
• “lets ride bikes”
• “lets play a game”
• “lets ask John to
play ball with us”
• When all else
fails: ignore
and walk away
Role Play
Verbal Refusals
• Say “NO” without giving an
excuse
• Repeat the message as
often as necessary
• Suggest alternative actions
or activities
• Match your words to your
tone
• Be honest
• Speak only for yourself
• Appeal to possible
consequences
• Accept the possibility of
rejection
Non-verbal Refusals
• Avoid physical contact
• Make gestures to emphasize
your refusal
• Stand tall; if needed, move
away
• Maintain a serious
expression, an “I mean it”
face