Lesley J. Friedman
2601 Wonderland Ct.
VA Beach, VA 23456
November 18, 2015
Dear HOA Board Members,
I have been a resident of Carrolton Village, as of March 1, 2014. Until recently, I
enjoyed living in Signature at West Neck.
On April 8th, my mother passed away, unexpectedly. In the latter part of May, my
husband, who had Early Onset Alzheimer’s, was hospitalized at the Veterans’
Hospital in Hampton, VA. Due to his declining health, he was admitted to a nursing
home. After a fall, resulting in a moderate head concussion, he passed away on
October 26th.
I feel that I have been harassed by the HOA architect for Carrolton. It appears to me
that since the word has gotten out that my husband was suffering from EOAD and
was not at home, every move I make or do not make, is scrutinized.
Applying for permission to place my hot tub outside of the house, I was told that I
needed to remove several trees. I explained to Mr. William Hess that I did not plant
the trees and therefore, I am not responsible for them. Upon his insistence, that I
must remove them, I explained that if they were to have been removed it was the
previous owners responsibility. Since they had not, nor was their any mention in
the selling contract, I was not responsible. The discussion was dropped when I
explained that my brother-in-law, a lawyer, and a judge, had advised me that the law
was on my side.
I received permission to place my hot tub outside. The contractor placed it where
he thought that it could not be seen from the street. Apparently, since it can barely
be seen, and only if you are looking to see it, I have been told it needs to be moved.
The contractor, Mr. Hess and myself met to attempt to rectify the situation. The
contractor had several resolutions that were immediately rejected. The only
solution Mr. Hess would accept is to move the hot tub approx. a few feet.
I have spoken with most of my neighbors and all of them have agreed that the hot
tub is fine where it is. None of them have any difficulty with the hot tub placement. A
few of them have even stated that I could put a plant or a bush either by the gate or
in the corner of the hot tub patio that would conceal the tub. I explained to them that
Mr. Hess refused to hear any solution, except for moving the tub.
Prior to the time that my husband was in critical condition, I am sure you will
remember the high winds and rain that we encountered. One of the pencil evergreen
trees fell. This was one of the trees that Mr. Hess insisted that be removed. Trying
to be a good neighbor, I offered the tree to anyone who would like this tree. I placed
the tree against the fence with a sign. After things began to settle and no one had
taken the tree, my son came over and the tree was cut up and bagged. I received a
phone call, after the fact, telling me that I cannot put anything in my yard with a sign
on it. Why was I told this when the tree had been gone for week?
This is very peculiar to me, as the first spring that I lived here; I put a half a dozen
smaller pencil evergreen trees, by the road with a sign, saying they were free for the
taking. No one said anything about the trees or sign. As a matter of fact, I received a
thank you note from someone stating the trees would have a very good home.
During the phone call mentioned above, the moving of the hot tub was mentioned. I
would have thought Mr. Hess would have realized that I have more on my mind than
the hot tub. As explained to him, the contractor will be out in the next week or two
and it will be moved. Even though I do not have the money or can afford this move, I
will have to endure the financial hardship to satisfy Mr. Hess.
A few days later, I received another phone call from Mr. Hess. He stated that I had
the Christmas lights, which were just hung, on. This took me back. I know that
another neighbor has had her lights up since before mine. I will admit, I did not
understand where he was coming from. He forcefully, stated that my lights were
turned on. I told him they weren’t on, at least to my knowledge. He again, forcefully,
stated they were on the night before and were on at the time of his call.
In disbelief, I did go outside and realized that the lights had been placed on a timer
and the timer was plugged in. I immediately unplugged the lights. This was an
honest mistake. I had not gone out after dark, so I had no idea they were on. It would
have been very nice of Mr. Hess to ask me if I knew my lights were turned on. I
would have gladly checked and unplugged them.
I am barely keeping my head above water. I am overwhelmed with all the
paperwork that needs to be done with the VA, Social Security, DFAS and other things
that need to be done immediately. I am very depressed and going through a terrible
time after loosing my mother and husband within 6 months.
Never in my life, regardless if I have lived on base, off base, in a HOA, a rental house,
or in my own home, have I ever felt so stressed that people are constantly watching
my every move. I request that this badgering stops. I have a bad heart and the chest
pains that I have experienced have been overwhelming and have almost sent me to
the emergency room.
With the monies that I have put into my home and yard, anyone should know that I
am attempting to improve the aesthesis of the yard. I have had plans approved to
extend the patio and I am planning on other improvements to be done at a later
date. My intentions are to improve my yard, which in the end will improve the
neighborhood.
At this point, and I am hoping that I am wrong, and since I am now a widow, I am
fair game to be criticized. If this is so, then shame on those who feel this way.
I request that these bothersome phone calls be stopped immediately. I will be glad
to accept any help that anyone will be willing to offer. I cannot believe the lack of
compassion and caring that people in this community lack. I am sure it is not my
neighbors or those in Carrolton, but others who pass by, to other villages. But,
whoever is calling and complaining to Mr. Hess, needs to understand that I am doing
the best I can. Mr. Hess needs to explain to those calling that I can only do so much.
He too, needs to have compassion.
Sincerely,
Lesley J. Friedman, RN, BA, MA
Cc: Judge Robert A. Armstrong
Dr. Eveline C. Armstrong