The Voyage to the Sea of Self-exploration
By
SUM Wing Kei Vicky
“Mi Chiamo Joe. Sono cinese” (My name is Joe, I am a Chinese)
“Mi Chiamo Hinson. Sono inglese” (My name is Hinson, I am an English)
“Mi Chiamo Vincci. Sono di Hong Kong.” (My name is Vincci, I am from Hong Kong)
Those were responses from the three of us -- three exchange students from the Chinese
University of Hong Kong -- when we were asked to have a brief self-introduction in the Italian class.
The three of us are all born and raised in Hong Kong and even go to the same university in Hong Kong.
I did not know whether we have different answers due to the limitation of Italian vocabularies listed on
the lecture notes or we fundamentally have different answers in our mind. That lesson brought me to
drill into the question of “Who am I?”
Unlike the majority of exchange students out there, I was not worried nor super excited before I
came to Italy. It is not because I was not looking forward to the untrodden journey, it is instead because I
thought I am already used to communicating with my second language (i.e. English) and I have been
working and studying with people from various cultural backgrounds over the years. I was confident in
myself. I believe living in a foreign location would be the only thing that I have to get accustomed to. I
did expect some challenges coming over but I believed I have the adaptability and flexibility to
surmount them.
In fact, everything went smoothly when I arrived. I promised myself to step out of my comfort
zone in this exchange journey. I kept pushing myself out and I want to seize the opportunity. Even there
are two Hong Kong peers coming together with me, I did not really stick together with them, as I know I
have to make the best out of the rare proximity towards new people with different backgrounds, and
most importantly, with the heart to communicate and make real contact with you.
The orientation week was so fruitful and well organized that I met loads of new friends from
different countries. I managed to develop a close relationship with my roommate Saewon, who is from
Korea! We even decided to travel to Spain together right after the orientation week.
During the travelling, we asked questions about each other’s backgrounds, compared and
contrasted the two different Asian countries, shared about our interests and political views…. We spent
days and nights together and had some good natters.
In one train journey, Saewon asked if there are four Chinese characters in my name, which is
different from that in Korea. I shook my head and looked bewildered as to why she would have such
question. Then she explained that she saw me writing “Vincci” after my full name on every document
and attendance list at school. She thought “Vincci” could be written as a Chinese character as well. I
began laughing and explained how normal it is to have a “western name” for Hong Kong people. To my
surprise, she said she would be made fun of by her friends if she put her English name “Serena” in any
documents or social platform accounts. In Korea, having an English name is not common. You would
rarely use it even if you have one, not to mention using it in a self-introduction.
I began to think about why I introduced myself as Vincci as my first instinct. Since when did I
stop using my Chinese name? I then realized I have unconsciously given up the Chinese part of my
name since university. Whenever I met a new person, even in Hong Kong, I would ask them to call me
Vincci directly, without a second thought about the Chinese full name.
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Since I was born, the concept of “being internationalized” is well instilled in my mind. We
would be praised if we speak better English; we would be appreciated if we can communicate well with
foreigners; we are looked up to if we participated in international competitions…. I am always proud of
how the western part of Hong Kong culture has grown in me. As I grow, the Chinese part of myself is
gradually engulfed. Even when I am speaking in Cantonese, I do a lot of code-mixing unconsciously. If
you are to make me translate each and every word into Cantonese, it might take even longer than
translating to English. The more effort I paid in improving my English and assimilating the western
culture, the faster they are abrading my Chinese language and culture.
Together with the different responses I heard from classmates in the Italian class that was the
first time I felt lost in the sojourn. This confusion cannot be trivialized, because I came to develop a
multi-cultural identity. I came to adopt and communicate with locals here so how am I supposed to
introduce myself when I am actually perplexed with my identity?
Two weeks ago, Saewon was sick. She kept coughing all day and got phlegm in her throat. When
we were shopping in the supermarket together, I stopped her from buying fried fish and ice cream. She
was astonished by my abruptness. I explained I stopped her because she was sick. She questioned how
these food are related to her illness. She said she should treat herself better with her favourite food
because she got sick. I then realized Chinese food culture and beliefs have long been defused in my
mindset and lifestyle. I avoid eating food that is cold or fried when I cough as I was taught at a young
age that these foods stimulate more phlegm.
There I discerned the indivisible part of Chinese culture in me. Because I was brought up in this
culture, I should learn to embrace it and live with it. It’s never shameful to have the mix of Chinese and
Western culture in me. Rather, the two cultures actually enriched my identity.
When we got back in our room, Saewon asked if I am afraid of getting infected as I had a box of
masks on my table. I explained I brought masks with me because I sneezed a lot in the morning.
Wearing a mask can avoid droplet infections and enhance personal hygiene. Then she began asking
whether all Hong Kong people wore masks when they got sick. I said yes and recalled how some people
even put on a mask because others who were sick didn't wear one. She said that really jolted her as
Koreans only put their masks on when they feel cold in the winter. Those masks are even reused every
day with cute and fashionable designs.
Not until I have such a conversation did I realize how this kind of self-awareness and standard of
hygiene are brought to me by Hong Kong culture. SARS influenced Hong Kong people’s lifestyle so
much that we even put it into practice every day without noticing.
I started to recognize how Hong Kong culture shaped me and built my ascribed identity. Those
are not something I could choose, but I could try to embrace and live with it.
In one lesson, I formed a group with a local Italian student, Giulia. Actually, she approached me.
It is never easy to communicate with Italian local students here, not to mention forming a group with
them. It is not because they aren’t friendly to foreigners; it is just because they are not comfortable with
speaking English. Added by having their original local friends here, there is not much incentive for them
to make friends with international students.
When Giulia discovered I come from Hong Kong, she said how much she loves Hong Kong. She
told me she is from Italy and hates being Italian. She wanted to move to the USA as soon as possible for
it is so internationalized and liberal. That explained why she said she adores Hong Kong without even
visiting the city. Giulia added she loves people from Hong Kong because we speak better English. She
said she could easily differentiate between Hong Kongers and Chinese just by listening to our English. I
was quite proud when I first heard this.
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That was the first time I realize how unique Hong Kong culture is. We speak in a language (i.e.
Cantonese), we write with another set, and then for the sake of being “internationalized” we learn one
more language (i.e. English). And when we go to school, for the benefit of writing better Chinese, we
learn one more language (i.e. Mandarin).
That conversation woke my lethargic pride of being a Hong Konger. That reminds me how I
should never conform or gain recognition at the expense of my own self. Immersing myself in a foreign
culture should nurture my ability to carry intercultural communication while blending my original
culture in. Stepping out of my comfort zone does not mean moving into an uncomfortable dead end. My
comfort zone is yet to be extended, enlarged and enriched.
Before this sojourn, I adjusted my communication styles in order to converge. I switched to a
less comfortable language (i.e. Mandarin) when I talked to Chinese or I tried to hide the differences
between my culture and others. I tried too hard to cater to new people; I thought the best way to make
friends was to minimize the social distance.
Hindsight is always better than foresight. I now understand my identity should be augmenting
instead of shifting when I encounter a different culture. Whenever I reach out, I do not necessarily
unplug and disconnect with my own culture; I should learn to complete the circuit by constructing on
top of the original setting.
Frankly, I still feel like having different identities when I am not speaking in my mother tongue.
When I first came and started to build relationship with the Asian group, I felt the urge to speak in
mandarin. My mandarin language ability dropped drastically after secondary school, and it is maintained
only by watching Taiwanese variety shows and dramad. Hence, when I speak in Mandarin, I feel like
I’m just copying words and phrases from that shows and dramas I’ve watched.
Yet, I learnt to view my second and third languages as tools to connect to the world. Although,
English and Mandarin are not my mother tongue, they help me to socialize and develop bonding. I
should try using these languages to introduce my hometown culture instead.
I do agree that learning a second language well is always an advantage but how we balance
between the foreign culture and your hometown culture is important as well. The whole purpose of
going on exchange is more than just adopting the local culture; it is rather like balancing between the
outer and inner self. Hence, having addictive bilingualism has become my goal. I hope my first
language and culture can continue to be nurtured as the second (and third) language develop(s).
Now that I understand more why I would answer I come from Hong Kong in the Italian Class.
Even if I am the odd one, I insist in introducing myself in that way. I am no longer questioning myself
for having a different answer from others. That no longer perplexes me.
I started reflecting and reviewing how I perceive my identity only when I began planning this
essay and I felt that this writing process became a self-exploration voyage. The more details I recall
from my sojourn, the deeper I dig into myself. I gradually feel the connection between language, culture
and identity. These substantially influence how I fit into a society, a culture and the world. It is never
easy to minimize the discrepancy between your avowed identity and ascribed identity. Yet, I promise
myself to sail along the sea of self- exploration from now on. Instead of only pushing myself to reachout and cater people, I added one goal for my sojourn – to feel the breeze while never let my own self
blown away.
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This photo was taken when the whole Asian group gathered for celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival in September 2016.
About the author
Sum Wing Kei Vicky is a 3rd-year student majoring in Professional Accountancy at CUHK. In the fall
semester of 2016-17, she participated in a semester-long international exchange program at Università
Carlo Cattaneo, Italy.
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