Creative dialogue: Let’s make a
deal! diversity and negotiation
Cristel van de Ven,
+31 6 81337133
[email protected] @cristelvandeven
Women negotiating: results from five
minutes of “Googling”
Women have lower
expectations and lack
knowledge of their worth
Women don’t like
to negotiate
Women
don’t ask
2
Women are
excellent
negotiators
Huh??
Je voelt dat er
meegekeken wordt
2
Topics
Negotation styles
Cognitive “mistakes”
Common ground & creative dialogue
Let’s make a deal! Tips and tricks
3
The tale of two sisters and one orange
4
Competion or cooperation
5
What negotion style(s) do you use? - 1
-
Think of a situation in your working life when you wanted or
actually negotiated for something really important
-
Fill out the questionnaire
What negotion style(s) do you use? - 2
-
Count up the scores, as follows:
A: question 1 + 6 + 11 + 16
B: question 2 + 7 + 12 + 17
C: question 3 + 8 + 13 + 18
D: question 4 + 9 + 14 + 19
E: question 5 + 10 + 15 + 20
And the winner is ….
A: Yielding
B: Compromising
C: Forcing
D: Problem Solving
E: Avoiding
Negotiation styles
Integrative
dimension
Forcing
Problem Solving
Compromising
Concern for Self
Avoiding
Yielding
Distributive
dimension
Concern for other
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Behaviour
Cognitive focus
Emotions
Forcing
Self-promotion;
Other-Derogation
Anger; Irritations
Yielding
Other-Promotion;
Self-Derogation
Fear; Guilt & Shame
Avoiding
Supress;
Trivialize
Fear; Incompetent;
Indifferent
Problem Solving
Learn; Understand,
Integrate
Curious; Optimistic
10
Back to your results of the
questionnaire
What is your dominant negotiation style?
Do you recognize it? Does it reflect reality?
Is it effective? Why (not)?
Discuss your results with your neighbour
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Negotiation and conflict
Negotiations can turn into conflict, because of:
•
Differences of opinion e.g. on:
• Tasks
• Strategy
• Alternatives
•
Short supplies, e.g. of:
• Budget
• Time
• Positions
Diversity has an effect
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Conflict often occurs, due to cognitive
mistakes
Escalated Commitment
Anchoring and Gain-Loss Framing
Fixed-Pie Assumption
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Escalated commitment 1
-
You bought a ticket for the cinema, next Friday
-
On Friday, it’s pouring rain and there is an interesting movie
on TV
-
Are you going to the cinema
YES/NO?
Escalated commitment 2
-
You are thinking of going to the cinema, next Friday
-
On Friday, it’s pouring rain and there is an interesting movie
on TV
-
Are you going to the cinema
YES/NO?
Anchoring and Adjustment 1
Current value of AN’s share is € 20 per share
External partner offers € 30 per share
Do you sell
YES/NO?
Anchoring and Adjustment 2
Last year the value of AN’s share was € 40 per share
External partner offers € 30 per share
Do you sell
YES/NO?
Fixed-Pie Assumption
-
Oranges and the Sinai
Creative negotions: from fixed positions to
deeper needs
I want that
orange!
I want that
orange!
Fixed
position
Because I
want to bake
a cake
Because I
want to
enjoy food
Interests
Deeper
needs
Because I
want to drink
the juice
Because I
want to stay
healthy
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Perceived common ground: none
Advantage
for B
Advantage for A
21
Perceived common ground:
bigger if A does a concession
Advantage
for B
Advantage for A
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Perceived common ground:
even bigger if B also does a concession
Advantage
for B
Advantage for A
23
Perceived common ground: NO concessions, but
look for new alternatives - together
Advantage
for B
Advantage for A
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Bake more cakes, instead of cutting one
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Creative dialogues
are key!
high
Disciplined debate
Creative dialogues
low
Dehydrated talks
Intimate exchange
Analytical
rationality
high
low
Emotional authenticity
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Let’s make an (i-)deal
I-deals:
•
Deals agreed upon by supervisor and worker;
•
Reflect diversity in wishes, needs, beliefs etc.
•
Win-win-win
•
Range from one aspect to the whole work relation
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I-deals: examples
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Some findings from my PhD-study
•
Preparation to request an i-deal is related to i-deal making
•
A concern for others is positively related to i-deal making
•
Promotion regulatory focused employees more often get i-deals
from their supervisor;
•
Promotion regulatory focused supervisors more often make ideals with their employees;
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Tips and tricks
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Be prepared!
Don’t be afraid of conflict: differences in interests always exist
Focus on underlying wishes and needs
Search for common ground instead of compromises
Be curious about the other!
Make every negotiation a multi-issue negotiation
Negotiate as if you are walking an adventure trail: a first NO might
just be the beginning
Just strive for a good conversation, a creative dialogue: most
problem solving takes place in these kinds of talks
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Thank you!
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