1. UNSUBSTANTIATED CLAIMS
• STATISTICS, GRAPHS, CHARTS, IMAGES
MISSING OR MANIPULATED
• MISSING CREDIBLE SOURCES** SEE NEXT SLIDE
• MISSING LOGIC – PREMISES
• LITTLE TO NO ARGUMENT – MOSTLY NARRATIVE
OR SUMMARY
• CONFIRMATION BIAS
• EMOTIONAL STATEMENTS WITH NO PROOF
• THIS IS RESEARCH – NOT EMOTION; RELY ON
LOGIC
2. RESEARCH QUESTION
• NOT A QUESTION
• LEADING QUESTION
• MISSING COMMAND TERM
• PHRASED AS A YES/NO QUESTION (BAD)
• QUESTION REFLECTS INDECISIVENESS
• MISSING QUALIFIERS (HOW…)
• MISSING DATE RANGE (HISTORY)
• YOU NEVER ANSWERED THE RQ IN THE PAPER
3. WEAK SOURCES – THINK COLLEGE NOT
JUNIOR HIGH
•
•
•
•
•
•
HISTORY.COM OR .ORG (BAD)
THIS DAY IN HISTORY.COM (BAD)
BLOGS (BAD)
TOO MANY PERSONAL INTERVIEWS (BAD)
FOCUS ON NARROW POINT OF VIEW (BAD)
NOT ENOUGH SOURCES
***THERE ISN’T ENOUGH ROOM ON THE SLIDE TO LIST ALL THE
SPECIFIC HORRIBLE SOURCES BEING USED IN ALL SUBJECT
AREAS
• ACADEMIC JOURNALS, MAGAZINES, NEWSPAPERS,
BOOKS, LECTURES, TALKS, ETC… (GOOD)
• QUESTIA (GOOD)
• MEL.ORG (GOOD)
• GOOGLE SCHOLAR (GOOD)
THESE ARE BUT A FEW ONLINE SOURCES
TRY A REAL LIBRARY WITH BRICKS AND DOORS
4. REFERENCE ERRORS = PLAGIARISM
• WHY ARE YOU TREATING PT10 AS A REPRESSED
MEMORY?
• CITATIONS DO NOT MATCH BIBLIOGRAPHY (AND
VICE VERSE)
• MISSING OR WRONG INFORMATION
• OUT OF ORDER (SING THE ALPHABET SONG)
• WRONG CITATION FORMAT (APA, CMS, MLA) OR
INCONSISTENT
• FOOTNOTES NEED TO INCLUDE PAGE NUMBERS
• FOOTNOTES AND BIBLIOGRAPHY ARE NOT
IDENTICAL!!!!
• IBO REQUIRES WEB ADDRESS AND DATE ACCESS
REGARDLESS OF CITATION STYLE
• QUESTIA HAS TUTORIAL VIDEOS
• OWL PURDUE WEBSITE
5. CHECKLISTS NOT FOLLOWED
• YOU SIGNED IT YET YOU DIDN’T DO IT
• FORMAT GUIDELINES IGNORED
• TITLE PAGE NOT CORRECT
6. NOT FITTING SUBJECT REQUIREMENTS
• SCIENCES:
• CHEMICAL EQUATIONS
• PHYSICS EQUATIONS
• HISTORY CANNOT BE:
• ECONOMICS
• SOCIOLOGY
7. WORD CHOICE AND TERMINOLOGY
• SUBJECT SPECIFIC TERMINOLOGY IS LACKING OR MINIMAL
• BIG WORDS
• “YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD. I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.”
1
2
1 "The One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits." Friends. NBC. 20 Oct. 2003. Web. Accessed 5 Oct. 2016. www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1tOqZUNebs.
2 Jackson, Josh. "25 Great Quotes from The Princess Bride." Paste Monthly 25 Sept. 2012: 27 pars. Web. Accessed 5 Oct. 2016. www.pastemagazine.com.
8. SHAPELESS BODY
• SHOULD YOU USE RHETORICAL QUESTIONS? NO!
• DO NOT USE FIRST- OR SECOND-PERSON IN THE
BODY OR CONCLUSION
• IT JUST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE
• LACK COHERENCE
• RAMBLES
• WHERE ARE THE SUB-HEADINGS
(HISTORY/SCIENCE)
• YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE READER INTERESTED
• WHAT IS THE “SO WHAT?”
• WHY IS THIS SIGNIFICANT?
• WHY DOES THIS ESSAY AND ITS CONTENTS
MATTER?
•
CLASS OF 2016
(0 POINTS)
7 MISSED DIPLOMA BY 1 POINT
•
•
2 MISSED BY 2 POINTS
1 MISSED BY 3 POINTS
CLASS OF 2016
POINTS EARNED
•
•
•
•
28 0-POINTS
25 2-POINTS (2 EARNED DP)
22 1-POINT (5 EARNED DP)
4
3-POINTS
CLASS OF 2016 TOK
• 1E
• 42 C
• 24 D
• 13 B
• 1A
EXTENDED ESSAY
•
•
•
35 C
20 B
19 D
•
8A
WHAT DO I DO NOW?
FOCUS ON EE AUDIENCE – IT’S NOT
ABOUT YOU…
• GET RID OF WHAT ISN’T WORKING
• EVIDENCE
• PARAGRAPHS
• PAGES
• ANYTHING YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
REWORK, REBUILD, RESTRUCTURE
• INTRODUCTIONS- ANSWER SO WHAT?
• “I” OR “ME” REDUCE IT DOWN
• APPEAL TO WIDER AUDIENCE NEED
• BODY-EXPLORE AND UNPACK WHAT FOUND
• CONCLUSIONS-PRESENT NOW WHAT?