Southern Caregiver Resource Center
Caring for those who care for others
Wavelengths
Volume 52, Winter 2013
Excellence in Caregiving
Lorie Van Tilburg, Southern Caregiver Resource Center Executive Director
2012 was an incredible year for Southern Caregiver Resource Center (SCRC).
While there are many memories to choose from, there is one moment that
stands out as the highlight of our 25th Anniversary. In October 2012, our team
was honored to receive the Rosalynn Carter Leadership in Caregiving Award–
the highest award given in the caregiving field.
Rosalynn Carter has been a tireless advocate for caregiving issues and a leading
voice in furthering caregiver support services for more than 25 years. Since
2001, the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregiving (RCI) has partnered with
Johnson & Johnson in support of family caregivers across the nation. This valued
partnership helps expand the work accomplished by RCI, as well as exemplifies
the social responsibility credo of Johnson & Johnson to be “responsible to the
communities in which [they] live and work” and to “encourage better health and
education.” It is an honor to have been recognized by two of the nation’s biggest
champions on caregiver issues.
RCI and Johnson & Johnson selected SCRC to receive the coveted Leadership in Caregiving Award based on our
CALMA and CUIDAR programs, which utilize evidence-based techniques (based on the REACH model– Resources
for Enhancing Alzheimer’s Caregiver’s Health) to help Latino caregivers of patients with Alzheimer’s or other
associated dementias. I, along with two principal members of our staff, Kurt Buske and Roberto Velasquez,
traveled to Americus, Georgia to receive the honors during a special ceremony.
Continued on page 2
Updates
Page 2 – RCI Award
Page 3 – 2012 Year in Review
Page 5 – Donor Recognition Event
Page 8 – Bastille Day
Features
Page 4 – Caregivers of Veterans
Page 6 – 8 – Donor List
Page 9 – Caregiving Conversation
Resources
Page 10 – Learning Self-Compassion
Page 11 – SCRC Support Groups
– Caregiver Classes
Our Mission: To help families and communities master the challenges of caring for adults with chronic and disabling conditions
Southern Caregiver Resource Center
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
Continued...
The CALMA and CUIDAR programs are particularly unique
in that we partner with San Ysidro Health Center and La
Maestra Community Health Centers to dedicate Promotoras
(community peer counselors) to conduct outreach activities and
identify family caregivers for the interventions. The outcomes
of the programs have been so significant that the programs are
now sustained by the County of San Diego Behavioral Health
Services as prevention and early intervention programs.
The highlight of the evening was standing next to Mrs. Carter
and representatives from Johnson & Johnson as she presented
SCRC with a beautiful statuette designed by renowned sculptor
Frank Eliscu (designer of the Heisman Trophy). We’re excited for
the opportunity to continue working with Latino caregivers in
San Diego to help ensure families are well-equipped to care for
their own health and well-being while they learn to navigate the
role of family caregiver.
“[SCRC’s] implementation of the
REACH program in San Diego
targeting Hispanic caregivers is
the only effort of its kind in the
nation. By helping underserved,
diverse populations at greater risk
for health problems, the program
can positively impact future
generations as well.”
-Rosalynn Carter
The award speaks to the quality and innovation of the work our
staff accomplishes day-in and day-out. I am proud to lead a team that is driven by the desire to provide clients
with the best caregiver support services there are to offer.
Looking ahead to 2013, SCRC has plans to further our work with caregivers of military veterans. We will also see
the return of our annual Bastille Day event. You can read about some of our other highlights from 2012, and take
a look at what’s ahead for SCRC, in the pages of this newsletter.
We’re proud to have been the leading provider of caregiver support services in San Diego for the past 25 years,
and we anticipate to continue to do so for the next 25! Thanks again for a great year, and we look forward to
sharing 2013 with you.
Sharon D’Agostino, Johnson & Johnson; Kerri D’Aniello, Johnson & Johnson; Dr. Leisa Easom,
Executive Director of RCI; Laura Bauer, RCI; Roberto Velasquez; Kurt Buske; Former First Lady
Rosalynn Carter; Lorie Van Tilburg; Dr. Rick Martinez, Johnson & Johnson
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1 (800) 827-1008
www.caregivercenter.org
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
Southern Caregiver Resource Center
2012 Year in Review
A look back at some of Southern Caregiver Resource Center’s (SCRC) most memorable moments and
accomplishments from 2012.
February 11, 2012
March 29, 2012
The Rosalinde and Arthur Gilbert Foundation and the
Family Caregiver Alliance presented the Alzheimer’s
Disease Caregiver Legacy Award at the ASA Conference
in Washington, D.C. SCRC received the award in the
Diverse/Multicultural Communities category for its
CALMA/CUIDAR programs.
SCRC celebrated 25 years as the leading
provider of comprehensive caregiver support
services in San Diego County with a ‘Dancing
Under the Stars’ fundraising bash at the San
Diego Marriott Del Mar. The event helped
raise $134,000 to support the direct service
needs of family caregivers.
July 1, 2012
Based on the successful outcomes of the
REACHing Out program (CALMA/CUIDAR),
SCRC received an augmentation from County
of San Diego
Behavioral Health
Services to expand
services to Latino
family caregivers
providing care to
loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease or related
dementias in San Diego’s South Bay. Results
from the program continue to show statistically
significant reductions in caregiver depression and
burden, as well as improved health for both family
caregivers and care recipients.
December 6, 2012
SCRC honored supporters at the Donor Recognition
event at the Law Firm of Mintz Levin. SCRC’s 2012
Leadership Award was bestowed to Larry ‘Labe’
Vigdor for his altruistic and inspirational work in
starting Sandy’s Alzheimer’s Respite Fund in honor of
his late wife Sandy, which inspired the 2012 Respite
Challenge. Almost $40,000 has been raised to date to
support family caregivers with respite care.
www.caregivercenter.org
June 7, 2012
SCRC and several family
caregivers traveled to
Sacramento to meet with
lawmakers and advocate
for the continuation of state
funding to the California
Caregiver Resource Centers.
These efforts, alongside the
voices of thousands of volunteers and aging network agencies,
saved the funding to keep the California Caregiver Resource
Center system in the governor’s budget.
September 30, 2012
SCRC successfully completed the Partners in Caring
(PIC) project, a three-year family and informal
caregiver program funded by The Harry & Jeannette
Weinberg Foundation. SCRC was one of 14
organizations nationwide selected to participate in
the initiative. PIC partners included the Alzheimer’s
Association San Diego/Imperial Chapter, The Glenner
Memory Care Centers, Jewish Family Services of San
Diego, Elder Law & Advocacy, and Casa Familiar.
October 25, 2012
Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter personally presented
SCRC with the highest honor in the caregiving field, the
Rosalynn Carter Leadership in Caregiving Award. Staff
members traveled to Americus, Georgia where Mrs. Carter
recognized SCRC.
1 (800) 827-1008
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Southern Caregiver Resource Center
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
Caring for the Caregiver of a Wounded, Ill
or Injured Service Member
FEATURE
By Alejandra Ceja-Aguilar; M.A. Counseling, Director of Education and Outreach
According to a recent study on family caregiving
conducted by the National Alliance for Caregiving, 17%
of caregivers nationwide provide care for a veteran and
11% have served in the armed forces themselves. While
some of the challenges these caregivers face are shared
by the general population of caregivers, the nature
of the injuries and illnesses faced by some veterans
brings forth an array of unique needs. According to the
study, 65% of caregivers of veterans face high levels of
caregiver stress, a significantly higher rate than other
caregivers. This increased level of stress seems to be
caused by the need for support with a larger number of
activities of daily living (ADLs) such as bathing, dressing,
grooming, feeding and transferring.
On November 9, 2012, Southern Caregiver Resource
Center (SCRC), in collaboration with the Caregiver
Coalition of San Diego and the VA San Diego
Healthcare System, delivered a conference specifically
focused on caregivers of veterans. At this event, some
of the caregivers shared the challenges they have
faced while navigating the caregiving maze. Common
challenges included:
• Lack of knowledge regarding the services available
for caregivers of veterans, specifically regarding
financial, legal and in-home care services
• Not understanding enough about the diagnosis,
symptoms and ways of preventing challenging
behaviors, especially when it comes to Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic
Brain Injuries (TBI)
• Completing the paperwork required by certain
agencies
• Lacking support from other family members
• The inability to communicate successfully with the
medical team
Here are some tips to help you manage
caregiver stress:
1. Start by contacting an SCRC family consultant
as they are knowledgeable in the areas of support
services available for caregivers of veterans and can
help steer you in the right direction and connect you
with valuable resources.
2. You are a key player in your loved one’s well-being,
but it can be extremely overwhelming to manage your
caregiving role in addition to other responsibilities you
have. Try keeping a caregiver journal which will help
you stay organized. Find a large notebook with folders
included. Start by keeping track of the physicians, their
specialty and contact information. Also include the
medications your loved one is taking, along with the
dosage and description of the medication. This journal
can include everything from the basic information of
your loved one’s condition to questions you may have,
and may even include personal thoughts.
3. Involving other family members and friends can be
extremely helpful, though making it happen can prove
quite difficult. SCRC’s family consultants can provide
guidance for navigating these conversations.
4. When it comes to speaking with physicians, it’s
important to advocate for yourself and your loved
one. The physician may see hundreds of patients on
a weekly basis and can forget that your experience is
unique. In a kind way, remind the physician that this
experience is new to you. Ask for clarification when
you don’t understand something. It’s always better
to ask rather than leave their office feeling confused.
Don’t forget to write your questions down in your
journal, along with the answers and any suggestions
the doctor may have provided.
If you or someone you know is providing care for a veteran
and could benefit from our services, please contact us at
(800) 827-1008 or [email protected].
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1 (800) 827-1008
www.caregivercenter.org
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
Southern Caregiver Resource Center
Donor Recognition Event
By Roberto Velasquez, Director of Business & Strategic Development
Southern Caregiver Resource Center (SCRC) hosted our annual Donor
Recognition event at the Mintz Levin Law Firm on December 6th.
We host this event to bring together those people who help make
our work possible year-round and celebrate those who are making a
difference in the lives of family caregivers. We had a wonderful evening
spent with more than 70 of SCRC’s friends and supporters. Guests
enjoyed spirits, hors d’oeuvres and live musical entertainment by
Emmy Award winner and Grammy-nominated musician Allan Phillips.
This year, we wanted to take a moment to recognize a few individuals who helped make our fundraising focus of the year
possible. We launched the Respite Challenge in the fall of 2012, which was made possible by generous matching pledges
from our Respite Challenge Champions Ken Fousel, Laurie Edwards-Tate of At Your Home Familycare, and John and Cheryl
Lopez of J&C Carpet. Combined, their matching pledges helped SCRC raise nearly $40,000 that will go directly to providing
respite care for family caregivers in San Diego. Special recognitions were also given to SCRC’s Year-Round Corporate
Partners: ActivCare Living, At Your Home Familycare, UC San Diego Radiation Oncology, BrightStar, InTouch at Home,
Classic Party Rentals and Silvergate Retirement Communities. Silverado Senior Living • At Home • Assisted Living • Hospice
was awarded the 2012 Corporate Partner of the Year.
You could have heard a pin drop as Larry ‘Labe’ Vigdor, our special featured guest and speaker, captured guests’ attention
with an inspiring and powerful account of his life as the primary caregiver for his late wife, Sandy, who suffered from
Alzheimer’s. SCRC was captured by Larry and his story upon meeting him. Larry launched Sandy’s Alzheimer’s Respite Fund
to help raise money to give to “unknown” family caregivers in San Diego. His own trials as a family caregiver motivated him
to give back, and he, in turn, inspired SCRC to dedicate our 2012 fundraising efforts to respite services.
Larry shared candidly about his caregiving experience from a letter he wrote to friends when launching Sandy’s Respite
Fund, an experience that mirrors what many of our clients experience on a daily basis. “I spend 20 to 30 minutes every
morning trying to get Sandy out of bed. She is unable to comprehend instructions, so I am bending over to put on her
Depends and her legs feel like they are 1,000 pounds to me. I take her to the doctors- Sandy’s blood pressure is perfect while
mine is out of control, and the doctor tells me I need to relax! But I would do anything for my sweetheart of 60 years,” Larry
read. There was not a dry eye in the room as all gave a standing ovation at the conclusion of his testimony. Larry is a true
inspiration and the epitome of altruism. He continues to raise money to help provide respite services to family caregivers
through Sandy’s Respite Fund, which is managed by SCRC.
To learn more about Sandy’s Respite Fund, please visit www.Sandysrespitefund.com or call Roberto Velasquez, Director of
Business & Strategic Development, at (858) 268-4432.
Year-Round Corporate Partners at our Annual Donor Recognition Event at the Mintz Levin Law Firm
www.caregivercenter.org
1 (800) 827-1008
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Southern Caregiver Resource Center
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
2012 Supporters: The Lifeline to our Mission
Platinum $100,000 +
Aging & Independence Services
County of San Diego
Behavorial Health Services
(MHSA/OA PEI)
Department of Health Care
Services - Long Term Care
Division
The Harry and Jeanette
Weinberg Foundation, Inc.
Rhodium $50, 000 - $99,999
National MS Society, Pacific
South Coast Chapter
Gold $20,000 - $49,999
The Rosalinde and Arthur
Gilbert Foundation
Rosalynn Carter Institute/
Johnson & Johnson
Silverado Senior Living At
Home · Assisted Living ·
Hospice
Silver $10,000 - $19,999
ActivCare Living Residential
Memory Care
The Bravo Foundation
Elaine Krieger
Larry Vigdor - Sandy’s
Alzheimer’s Respite Fund
Pacific Research Network
Bronze $5,000 - $9,999
Accredited Home Care
Services
All Valley Home Health Care
& Nursing
At Your Home Familycare
Inc.
Brown Marketing Strategies
Independa/Dr. Richard Della
Pena
J&C Carpet Company
Ken Fousel
The Law Office of Nancy
Kaupp Ewin
Macy’s, Inc. Corporate Giving
Moss Adams
Victoria Nenner
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James and Kaplana Rhodes
Sempra Energy Foundation
SESCO
Health
Lorie Van Tilburg
Roberto Velasquez
Copper $1,000 - $4,999
AALL CARE In Home Services
A Better Solution In Home
Care, Inc.
American General Life &
Accident Insurance Co.
Dr. David Bailey
Black & Edwards LLP
Tom and Donna Bloomer
California Bank & Trust
Compatible Home Care, Inc.
Copeland & Tierman
Max & Barbara Dykmans
Elder Care Law Firm
The Glenner Memory Care
Centers
Susan Gregory
Debby Halliday
Heritage Senior Care
Don Hunsaker II, Ph.D.
InTouch at Home LLC
The Larry and Gigie
Price Fund of the Jewish
Community Foundation
Medi-Cal Regulation
Specialists
Mintz Levin
Rod Melendez
Tom and Elly Reid
The Robert deRose
Foundation
Lynne Sanders
San Ysidro Health Center
Senior Care Management
Inc.
Sharp HospiceCare
Irene Shelton
Showley Archambault
& Alexander Insurance
Associates
Silvergate Retirement
Communities
Somerford Place
Richard Stanley
UC San Diego Radiation
Oncology
UCSD Senior Behavorial
Friends Level $1-999
A Caring Heart Home Care,
LLC
Alianza Organization
AOL Matching Gifts Program
Ms. Rebecca Atkins
Susan Baglien
Christopher Banno
Mr. Jerry Barash
Térèse Belanger
Linda Benefield
Ms. Barbara Bethel
Suzanne Bickley
Mr. Richard Blackledge
Cindy Bledsoe
Mr. and Mrs. Don Blevins
Cathy Bole
Hon. Marianne Bowler and
Dr. Marc Pfeffer
Ms. Frances Braxton
Brenda Brooks
Mr. Jeff Brown
Mrs. Mildred Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Hal Brunson
Ms. Rose Bryant
Mrs. Marie Bustos
Ms. Ellen Caprio
Center for Spiritual Living
Bonita
Mrs. Jan Chadwick
Ms. Doris Chamberlain
Marlene Chase
Mrs. Sharon Chasteen
Mr. Ray Chorush
Ms. Ruth Comer
Mr. John Cronin
Mrs. Rizalina David
Tom Davis
Elizabeth Anne Dell’acqua
Mrs. Barbara Diamond
Ms. Joyce DiCicco
Mrs. Sue Dixon
Ms. Ann Drinkwalter
Ms. Jean Duncan
Elder Care Guides
John and Catherine Ellis
Stephanie Ellis
1 (800) 827-1008
Thomas Evans
Mr. and Mrs. Bob Evatt
Family Caregiver Alliance
Joann Ferguson
Jim Finnerty
Jan Fischer
Ms. Irene Fojtik
Karen Formost
Mrs. Sydney Fox
Ms. Merrie Friberg
Ms. Pam Frick
Mr. and Mrs. Joe Gallo
Dr. and Mrs. Daniel Gardner
Mr. Hank Gaus
Ms. Ellen Geis
Ms. Sara Gengler
Mrs. Doria Goocher
Mrs. Cindy Grain
Ms. Juandalyn Green
Mr. Phil Greenblat
Harold Hanks
Mr. Bob Hauer
Scott Hazel
Mr. Robert Heighton
Mrs. Adrienne Heinzelman
Mr. Bill Henderson
Ms. Andrea Holmberg
Capt. and Mrs. James Hough
Incarnation Lutheran Church
Pamela Isemann
Mr. Norman Jackson
Sarah Jackson
Ms. Jennifer Jenkins
Marcia Jewett
Ms. Diane Jolley
JRM Architecture Inc.
Kaiser Permanente
Mr. Maynard Kartvedt
Mr. Ken Keller
Ms. Nancy Koehler
Ms. Carol Kope
Ms. Linda Kourtis
Mr. and Mrs. Timothy Kunicki
Mr. and Mrs. Chris Landry
Laurel Nations Designs
Mrs. and Mr. Barbara Lang
Law Office of Brierton, Jones
& Jones, LLP
Ms. Randie Lettington
Ms. Connie Lippa
Janine Lortscher
www.caregivercenter.org
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
Southern Caregiver Resource Center
Mr. Dean Lycas
Eleanore Martin
Dan McCarthy
McCuen & Co., Inc.
Mrs. Patricia Mizel
Carol Morris
Ms. Ernestine Morris
Moss Fiduciary Services
Susanne Muel
Ms. Anne Myers
Mr. Bob Myers
Ms. Sharon Nagaran
Lt. Col. Paul Nau
Ms. Shirley Ordway
Mrs. Mary Ormson
Mrs. Gail Owashi
Mrs. Nancy Paff
Parish Nurse First United
Methodist
Cathy Paulsen
Gerry Plotkin
Ms. Johnna Pokojni
Ms. Donna Price
Dolores Pullen
Amanda Ramirez
Ms. Joanne Rayborn
Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Reed
Ms. Vashti Ann Reed
Greg and Monique
Richardson
Ms. Rita Rosenberg
Dr. Mimi Rothman
The San Diego Foundation
Ms. Ann Schulte
Mr. Mort Schnabel
Quee Seah
Mrs. Irene Shelton
Lisa Snyder
Peter Sofman
Ms. Loretta Spano
Marta Spencer
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Sprigle
Beverly Stebbins
Olga and Gus Stephens
Ms. Rosemary Taylor
Florence Thomason
Garrett Thompson
Linda Trost
B. Patricia Twyman
United Way
United Way of Central &
Northeastern Connecticut
User-Friendly Engineering
Ms. Marsha Vanetsky
Heidi Van Zant
Vickie Velasco
Linda Wagner
Debra Waste
The Weiss Family Trust
Mary Lou Wenger
Dorothy Wheeler
Mr. Dean Williams
Mr. Ed Williams
Mr. Harold Williams
Kathy Valasek
David and Edna Wallace,
Senior Helpers
Donor Name
In Honor of
Donor Name
In Honor of
Mrs. Beth Thompson
Helen Brown
Shirley Christian
Marilyn Colby
Mark & Janet Evans
Mr. Fred Hernandez and Mrs.
Nita Mehta
Willard Isaccs
William & Ernestine Barto
Helen Brown
Pearl Christian
Judith Fox
Judith Fox
Conchita Hernandez
Diana Isaccs
Mr. Joaquin Qualin
Mr. Keith McQueen
Ms. Sharlene Lewis
Mrs. Rosalie Tantillo
Sarah Sandor
Mr. Norman Smith
Ms. Leah McNair
Carol Jones
Keith McQueen
Marian Retzlaff
Rosa San Filippo
Robert Sandor
Bertha Smith
Jeff & Lorie Tierman
Donor Name
In Memory of
Donor Name
In Memory of
William Baird
Ms. Rosemary Bentley
Ms. Sharol Brust
Mr. Ed Chappelear
Ms. Teresa Garcia
Ms. Julia George
Paul Godfrey
Ms. Francine Zweibel
Mrs. Naomi Golub
Mr. Gilbert Harrison
Ms. Dixie King
Ms. Deborah Lee
Mr. Anthony Martinez
Ms. Olga Nedd
Mrs. Yoko Rickard
Bea Roth
Mr. and Mrs. Richard Miller
Mrs. Patty Cordero
Mr. Ray Skinner
Mr. Harold Sommers
Laverne Baird
Jack Bentley
Robert Brust
Marilyn Chappelear Morris
Isabel Garcia
Stephen George
Ellen Godfrey
Myron Godfrey
Miriam Golub
Delbert Harrison
Larry King
Muriel Lee
Hilario Martinez
Vladimir Nedd
Donald Rickard
Bill Roth
William Schwarz
William Schwarz
Clara Skinner
Anne Sommers
Ms. Binnie Brooks
42nd Street Productions
Gay Bonilla
Joyce Camiel
Marsha Lindbeck
Mrs. and Mr. Robin Roberts
James and Kaplana Rhodes
Muncie Hendler
Joyce and David Rosenstein
Mr. and Mrs. Michael Cohn
Dr. Jess Schessel
Eileen Popkin
Esther Miller
Kathy Hebert
Lisa Swartwood
Mark Carolin
Mrs. Nancy Smith-Fairhurst
Ms. Barbara Goldberg
Ms. Louise Winicki
Carol Bloom
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
www.caregivercenter.org
1 (800) 827-1008
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
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Southern Caregiver Resource Center
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
In Memory of
Donor Name
In Memory of
Harold Kornfeld
Kim Kroll
Mary Wood
Morris Hollander
Mr. and Mrs. Curtis Smith
Mr. Dan Prough
Ms. Myra Harada
Richard Klein
S Schwartz
Susan Brooks
Mrs. and Mr. Mary-Anne
Donnelly
Gerald Mandlowitz
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Mrs. and Mr. Elaine Cantor
Mrs. and Mr. Mara Preffer
Mrs. Vicki Share Cantor and
Mr. Jeffery Cantor
Ms. Aileen Hurst
Patricia Rodriguera
Marshall Friedman
Ceil Levy
Eve Plotkin
Ms. Donna Horwitz-Martin
Richard Stanley
Larry Vigdor
Mr. James Williams
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Save The Date
Donor Name
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Sandy Vigdor
Ruth Williams
The 21st Annual Bastille Day
A fundraising event benefiting Southern Caregiver Resource Center (SCRC)
Date
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Location
On the lake in the beautiful Fairbanks Ranch Clubhouse
San Dieguito Road, Rancho Santa Fe, CA 92067
Time
4 – 8 p.m.
About the Event
Don’t miss out on our signature event! Join SCRC for an evening of
delectable dining featuring exciting wine and food pairings, as well
as bid on exquisite wine and gift packages during our silent auction.
Wine tasting will be offered from prominent wineries such as Silver
Oak Cellars, Duckhorn Vineyards, Ferrari-Carano, Honig Vineyard
and more. Guests will also enjoy live entertainment from Emmy
Award winner and Grammy-nominated artist, Allan Phillips and
Friends. Kimberly Hunt and Steve Atkinson of Channel 10 News will
be our event emcees. Please contact SCRC at (858) 268-4432 or
[email protected] for further information.
SCRC would like to thank Max & Barbara Dykmans for generously
hosting the event.
Artwork designed by Christopher Lee
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1 (800) 827-1008
www.caregivercenter.org
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
Southern Caregiver Resource Center
How to Start the Caregiving Conversations
By Josh Allen, RN, C-AL, Director, InTouch at Home
Talking with your parents or other aging relatives about
the need for care and support at home can be challenging.
This is especially true for children who may feel like their
role in the relationship has been reversed as they have
taken on increased responsibility for their aging parents.
While this conversation is never an easy one, there
are ways to approach this topic with compassion and
understanding while maintaining dignity and respect.
Start the conversation early – don’t wait
It is never too soon to talk about wishes, preferences
and desires when it comes to personal care and support.
Waiting until the need for help has become urgent can
lead to hurried, emotional decisions and poor outcomes
for everyone.
Choose a comfortable time and place
Avoid having this conversation in public places, like a
doctor’s office waiting room or emergency room. Choose
a time and place for the conversation in comfortable,
familiar surroundings. (The living room or kitchen table of
the family home is often the best choice.)
Enlist other supportive family members
Don’t shoulder the entire burden yourself. Ask other
family members to get involved, especially if they have
a good relationship with the person who is in need of
additional care and support.
Show respect and approach the discussion as a partner,
not as the person “in charge” or responsible for taking
over the decision-making process.
Don’t dictate what someone should do
Approach this situation with a collaborative attitude,
seeking practical decisions that everyone can support.
Don’t push or dictate, but offer options and ask your
family members about their preferences. Being
completely involved in the decision-making process
ensures acceptance of the outcome from both a practical
and emotional point of view.
Seek expert help
You don’t have to do this all on your own. Go to sources
such as family members, close friends and, if necessary,
expert home care professionals who have many years of
training and experience in providing services.
Upcoming Caregiver Class
Join SCRC and InTouch At Home for “How to hire when
you might need a caregiver “ 4/12
College Avenue Baptist Church
8:30 a.m. - 2 p.m.
4747 College Avenue, SD 92115
Gather important records and documents
This can be an emotionally-charged conversation, but
it is important to collect some basic information about
your loved ones’ personal affairs. Discuss wills, power
of attorney, advanced directives and other important
information that you will need should the health of
your loved one begin to change. If these provisions
aren’t already in place, address the need to make these
decisions now so your loved ones control these outcomes,
not anyone else.
is proud to be
a Year-Round
Corporate Partner of
Southern Caregiver
Resource Center and
sponsor of this 2013
Winter edition of
Wavelengths.
Listen
Use good communication skills throughout the
conversation. Resist the temptation to take over the
discussion. It is helpful to ask open-ended questions that
encourage your loved one to openly discuss how they are
feeling about their circumstances without any judgment
being made. Ask, don’t assume, what their desires are.
www.caregivercenter.org
1 (800) 827-1008
9
Southern Caregiver Resource Center
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
Caregiver Nourishment: The Power of Self-Compassion
By Alejandra Ceja-Aguilar; MA Counseling, Director of Education & Outreach
As my grandmother’s dementia progresses, I find that
my patience lessens. Last week, she kept asking the
same question so I “validated and redirected,” but it
wasn’t working. I reached a point of frustration as I
recalled the lack of support from her children and her
lack of appreciation for those who ARE there for her. In
a raised tone I reminded her that her children were no
longer at home and, just as I finished my statement, I
realized what I did- I had just vomited hurtful words.
Guilt and remorse sank in. “I should be doing more for
her. I should be more understanding and patient.”
What do you typically criticize yourself for?
I’ve found it’s easy for many of us to lack selfcompassion or forgiveness. We may come from
cultures that endorse self-criticism and are told that no
matter how hard we try, our best isn’t good enough.
It’s time to make a change as we can all benefit from
learning to be more self-compassionate.
Write Honestly
We all have something about ourselves we don’t like,
something that causes us to feel shame or guilt. It’s
the human condition to be imperfect. However, it is
not healthy to self-criticize or blame. To start making a
change in yourself, write about an issue you have that
tends to make you feel inadequate. Explore why you
feel this way and what changes you would like to see.
This is just between you and the words, so try to be as
honest as possible.
10
Letter to a Friend
If a friend was going through a challenging situation
and asked for your thoughts, you would most likely be
caring and compassionate. For this step, think about
an imaginary friend who is facing challenges similar
to yours. You know that he/she is loving, accepting
and compassionate, but tends to self-criticize. Write
an encouraging letter to this friend. What possible
improvements do you suggest your friend should make
to embody feelings of unconditional understanding?
Try to infuse your letter with a strong sense of kindness
and desire for well-being. Read this letter back to
yourself periodically. Now is the time to claim your
right to love, acceptance and forgiveness.
Changing the Self-Critical Voice
In order for us to change the way we treat ourselves,
we need to notice when we are being self-critical.
It may be difficult to identify, but work on hearing
and acknowledging the negative self-talk. Once
identified, use self-compassionate words that reflect
understanding for both your loved one and yourself. It
may seem silly, but continue practicing and, with time,
it will get easier and can create a change in your wellbeing.
Keep a Journal
Journaling is an effective way to express emotions,
practice self-compassion, and enhance both mental
and physical well-being. At some point during the day,
review the day’s events and write down anything you
felt inadequate about, anything you judged yourself
for or any difficult experience. In addition, make sure
every journal entry includes at least one note of selfappreciation. What did you do well today? How have
you demonstrated compassionate care toward yourself
and others?
Here are some other ways you can continue to
practice self-compassion:
• Take a nap
• Get a massage, pedicure or other form of pampering
• Listen to relaxing music
• Practice meditation or yoga
• Take a moment to color, draw or play with some
playdough
1 (800) 827-1008
www.caregivercenter.org
Wavelengths, Vol. 52, Winter 2013
Southern Caregiver Resource Center
SCRC Support Groups
Upcoming Caregiver Training
Caregiver Support Group*
2nd and 4th Thursday of every month
SCRC Office – 3675 Ruffin Rd., Ste. 230, SD 92123
Facilitator: Elizabeth Saldaña, IMFT (5:30 p.m. – 7 p.m.)
*This group has a special focus on adult children who are caring for a parent,
but is open to all caregivers
Caregiver Support Group* – Clairemont
2nd and 4th Wednesday of every month
Live Well San Diego – 4425 Bannock Ave., SD 92117
Facilitator: Adrienne Burnette, Ph.D., MFT (1:30 p.m. – 3 p.m.)
*On-site supervision is available at this group
Caregiver Support Group – Rancho Bernardo
1st and 3rd Thursday of every month
The Remington Club, Multi-Purpose Room
16925 Hierba Dr., SD 92128
Facilitator: Adrienne Burnette, Ph.D., MFT (5:30 p.m. – 7 p.m.)
Caregiver Support Group – Fallbrook
4th Thursday of every month
Fallbrook Healthcare Foundation, Pittinger House
135 South Mission Rd., Fallbrook 92028
Facilitator: Marianna Randolph, LCSW (10 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.)
Huntington’s Disease Support Group – University Town Center
4th Monday of every month
Scripps Mende Well Being (University Town Center)
4305 La Jolla Village Dr., Suite L-5, SD 92122
Facilitator: Andrea Cangiano, LCSW (6 p.m. – 8 p.m.)
Multiple Sclerosis Caregiver Support Group
3rd Thursday of every month
SCRC Office – 3675 Ruffin Rd., Ste. 230, SD 92123
Facilitator: Seraphina Galante, MSW (6:30 p.m. – 8 p.m.)
Spanish Caregiver Support Group - San Ysidro
2nd Thursday of every month
San Ysidro Adult Day Health Center/Casa de Amistad
3364 Beyer Blvd., San Ysidro 92173
Facilitator: Miriam Guillen-Ibarra, IMFT (3 p.m. – 4:30 p.m.)
Spanish Caregiver Support Group - Chula Vista
1st and 3rd Wednesday of every month
Norman Park Senior Center
270 F Street, Chula Vista 91910
Facilitator: Zulema Casiano, IMFT (4:30 p.m. – 6:30 p.m.)
Our events are always free. Respite is available upon
request, please call for more information.
OO
Legacy Circle
The Legacy Circle is a special group of individuals who have
made a bequest or lifetime gift to Southern Caregiver Resource
Center (SCRC). To join these very important friends, simply
inform SCRC that you have included them in your estate plan.
For more information, contact Roberto Velasquez at
(858) 268-4432 or [email protected].
www.caregivercenter.org
1 (800) 827-1008
Caregiver Series*
Last Friday of every month, 1:00 – 2:00 p.m.
First Unitarian Universalist Church of San Diego,
Room 113
4190 Front Street, San Diego 92103
• March 22 – Understanding Cognitive Impairments
• April 26 – Managing the Challenging Behaviors Caused by Cognitive Impairments
• May 24 – Managing Difficult Family Conversations
Managing the Difficult Behaviors of Dementia*
March 6, 12:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.
Silverado Senior Living – Escondido
1500 Borden Road, Escondido 92026
March 20, 12:00 p.m. – 2:00 p.m.
Silverado Senior Living – Encinitas
335 Saxony Road, Encinitas 92024
Caregiver Conference and Resource Fair* 3/9
9:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
St. Paul’s PACE Chula Vista Location
630 L Street, Chula Vista 91911
Topics include: How to Protect Yourself When Hiring
a Caregiver, How to Prevent Caregiver Burnout, How
to Prepare a Home for Your Loved One, and Legal and
Financial Planning for Family Caregivers.
Aging and Driving Conference* 3/21
10:00a.m. – 1:00p.m.
Point Loma Library
3701 Voltaire Street, San Diego 92107
Learn the warning signs of when it’s time to stop driving,
how modifications may help older drivers continue to
drive and how to have a conversation about driving with
someone who should no longer be doing so. Speakers
from Sharp Memorial’s Adaptive Driving Program, AARP
and Southern Caregiver Resource Center will discuss
issues about driving and offer resources.
Caregiver Conference, Resource Fair and Blood
Drive* 4/12
8:30a.m. – 2:00p.m.
College Avenue Baptist Church
4747 College Avenue, San Diego 92115
Topics include: Helping Your Loved One with Mobility
Issues, Hiring a Caregiver, Responding to Memory Loss
and Dementia, Managing the Emotional Issues of
Caregiving, Driving and Transportation Solutions, and
Legal and Financial Support. Breakfast and lunch will be
provided.
*To review the full list of caregiver trainings and to
register, please visit www.caregivercenter.org or call
1-800-827-1008
11
Southern Caregiver Resource Center
NONPROFIT
ORGANIZATION
U.S. POSTAGE
PAID
SAN DIEGO, CA
Caring for those who care for others
PERMIT #1
Southern Regional Resource Center Inc. dba
Wavelengths
3675 Ruffin Road, Suite 230
San Diego, Ca 92123
Volume 52, Winter 2013
CONTACT US
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.caregivercenter.org
The 21st Annual Bastille Day
Yes, I would like to purchase a ticket(s) to attend
Bastille Day on Saturday, July 13th
Tickets are $150 each (FMV* $75 each)
Tax ID # 33-0402867
Name(s) _______________________________________________________
Address________________________________________________________
City/State/Zip ___________________________________________________
Phone __________________Email__________________________________
Number of tickets ______Total amount enclosed $_____________________
Please make check payable to SCRC and send to:
3675 Ruffin Road, Suite 230, San Diego, CA 92123
You may also purchase tickets online by visiting our website at:
www.caregivercenter.org
*Fair Market Value
(858) 268-4432
(800) 827-1008 Toll-Free
(877) 303-7037 para Español
(858) 268-7816 Fax
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Nancy K. Ewin, Esq., President
Cindy Lehman, Treasurer
Don Hunsaker II, Ph.D.
Karen Black, Esq.
Alison Sorley, Realtor, SFR
Martha Rañón
Lawrence Vigdor
SCRC STAFF
Lorie Van Tilburg, Executive Director
Kurt Buske, Associate Director
Roberto Velasquez,
Director of Business & Strategic
Development
Alejandra Ceja-Aguilar,
Director of Education & Outreach
Adrienne Burnette, Family Consultant
Andrea Cangiano, Family Consultant
Seraphina Galante, Family Consultant
Marianna Randolph, Family Consultant
Miriam Guillen-Ibarra, Care Manager
Elizabeth Saldaña, Care Manager
Zulema Casiano, Care Manager
Amanda Ramirez, Intake Coordinator
Julio Magaña, Promotor/Outreach
Coordinator
Malea Santos, Development Assistant
Kami Shevlin, Admin. Assistant III
Josie Gerk, Administrative Assistant I