Schneider and the
American Family
The Symbols of
American Kinship

Unconscious, underlying
metaphors for how we think about
the world
 What
is a relative?
 What
is a family?
 How
does a person become a
relative?
Kinds of American Relatives

Basic terms

Derivative term modifiers

Father (Step-, -In-law, Grand, Great grand)

Step

Mother (Step-, -In-law, Grand, Great grand)

In-law

Sister (Step-, -In-law, Half-)

Great

Brother (Step-, -In-law, Half-)

Grand

Son (Step-, -In-law, Grand-, Great grand-)

First

Daughter (Step-, -In-law, Grand-, Great grand-)

Second

Uncle (Great-)

Once

Aunt (Great-)

Twice

Nephew

Removed

Niece

Half-

Cousin (First-, Second-, Once removed, etc.)

Ex-

Husband (Ex-)

Foster

Wife (Ex-)
Categories of American Relatives
 By
Blood

“Biogenic”

The essence/biological material
of the body is shared by relatives

Genes are shared by relatives

Kinship as possession of a
common substance

Mother as genetrix

Father as genitor

Mother and father contribute
equally to the child’s substance

Biogenic means “natural” rather
than cultural

“Real” “Blood” “True” “By Birth”

Enduring and unbreakable ties

Involuntary
 By
Code of
Conduct

By custom, cultural rule or law

Marriage as a culturally
determined phenomenon

Fictive kin

Not natural, but man-made
relationships

Come about by choice and free
will
Blood Vs Marriage (con’t)


In nature (no cultural
code of conduct

By Blood within cultural
conventions

Natural child (son or daughter)

Father

Illegitimate child (son or
daughter)

Mother

Brother

Sister

Son

Daughter

Uncle, aunt

Natural mother

Natural Father
In law (cultural code, no
nature)

Husband

Niece, nephew

Wife

Grandparents

In-laws (father, mother, sister,
brother, etc.)

Great grand parents

Grandchildren, Great
grandchildren

Cousin, first cousin, etc.


Step- (mother, father, sister,
brother)
Foster (son, daughter
The Family as Set
Conjugal Family or
of Relatives
Family of Procreation
The “Natural” Nuclear
Family in American Society
Mother

Nuclear Family in the U.S.

Derived from the joining of two
non-relatives by cultural
convention through marriage.

Sexual intercourse is what allows
these two “naturally unrelated”
individuals to contribute to the
creation of a new person who is
related by possession of essential
bodily materials to both parents.

Without sexual intercourse, new
blood relatives cannot be
produced.

Marriage is a cultural convention
that is designed to make nonrelatives become relatives to one
another
Father
Son
Daughter
Living together in a single
unit/household
Sexual Intercourse as Symbol

Marriage requires sexual intercourse as one of the
duties of the husband and wife.
(Is a marriage without sex a real

marriage?)
Marriage and Sexual Intercourse both unite “natural”
opposites in many other ways

“Natural act (occurs throughout nature) that happens in
culturally appropriate ways (where, when and with
whom) as an act of free will.

Sex: Fitting genitalia together

Gender: Maleness united with femaleness

Creating blood ties out of code of conduct ties

Dividing activities and behaviors into distinctive
opposing and complementary roles (code of conduct
roles)

Combines physical (intercourse) with spiritual (love)

Produces cognatic/non-sexual love relationships out of
conjugal/sexual love relationships.
Marriage and Sexual Intercourse
Uniting Opposite Genders

How do we tell male from
female?

Facial hair

Breasts

Temperament

Physical strength

Mechanical aptitude

Nurturing qualities

Aggression

Passivity
 Genitalia
We are
uncomfortable
with same sex
marriage precisely
because we see
the uniting of
opposites through
intercourse as an
inherent part of
“family.”
American Marriage:
Unification of Sexual Intercourse
and Love

Intercourse alone is not sufficient to
form a family.

Love without sex is not sufficient to
form a family.

Marriage presupposes that both are
present.
Definitions of Love


Schneider

Love is “enduring, diffuse
solidarity”

Enduring = long lasting

Diffuse = pertains to a wide
variety of things

Solidarity = loyalty and group
affiliation - support network

Personal

Spiritual

Is a natural part of family

An intense sexual or romantic
attachment to another person.

What is attachment? Strong
feelings of loyalty, affection
toward someone or something. A
bond with someone or something.

What does attach mean? To
fasten or bind something to
something else.
An intense feeling of deep
affection

What is affection? A feeling of
liking or caring for someone or
something.
Schneider’s Types of Love
Conjugal
love (sexual love)
Cognatic
love (non-sexual love)
Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick)

Logical love (pragma)
 “I
consider a lover’s potential in life before committing
myself.”

Possessive, excited love (mania)
 “When

my lover ignores me, I get sick all over.”
Selfless love (agape)
 “My
lover’s needs and wishes are more important than my
own.”

Romantic love (eros)
 “My

Game-playing love (ludus)
 “I

lover and I were attracted to each other immediately.”
get over love affairs pretty easily.”
Friendship (storge, philia)
 “The
best love grows out of an enduring friendship.”
12
Sternberg’s Triangular
Theory of Love

Three main components of loving relationships


Intimacy

Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and
connectedness

Desire to share one’s innermost thoughts with
the other

Desire to give and receive emotional support
Passion


Intense romantic and/or sexual desire for
another person, which is accompanied by
physiological arousal
Commitment

Commitment to maintain the relationship
despite potential hardships
13
Sternberg’s Types of Love
 Nonlove
 All
components of love are absent.
 Liking
 Intimacy
is present.
 Passion and commitment are absent.
 Infatuation
 “Love
at first sight”
 Passion is present.
 Intimacy and commitment are absent.
14
Sternberg’s Triangular
Model of Love
Liking
Intimacy
I+P
Romantic
Love
I+P+C
Consummate
Love
Passion
Infatuation
I+C
Companionate
Love
Commitment
P+C
Fatuous Love
Empty
Love
15
Sternberg’s Types of Love, con’t
 Empty
love
 Commitment is present.
 Passion
and intimacy are absent.
 Romantic love
 Passion and intimacy are present.
 Commitment is absent.
 Companionate love
 Intimacy and commitment are
present.
 Passion
is absent.
16
Sternberg’s Types of Love, con’t
 Fatuous
love
 Passion and commitment are present.
 Intimacy is absent.
 Consummate love
 Full or complete measure of love
 Combination
of passion, intimacy, and
commitment
 An ideal type of love
 Harder to maintain than to achieve
17
Family as a Group of Persons

Abstract notion of a person Vs. the
concrete manifestion of a person

Personal attributes as criteria for
“relativeness”

Person as a unit of American Culture

People have attributes

Gender

Age

Class (status and/or wealth, ie. The “famous relative”)

Occupation

Religiosity

Political attitudes

Kin term that evokes a particular type of kinship role/behavior
set.
Choosing Our Relatives

Who MAY be included, but in the U.S. not
who MUST be included.

A person MAY be included as a relative,
but that does not mean that he/she will
have a kin term assigned to him/her

Attributes

Distance

Physical proximity

Social proximity

Genealogical proximity
Everyday Use of Kin Terms
 Kin
terms as signals for
particular kinds of relationship
and role expectations.

Formal Vs. Informal/Intimate

Symmetrical (same status) Vs. Asymmetrical (different
statuses)

Authority/Respect

Generation
The Resolution of Oppositions

Kinship acts to resolve oppositions:

Male Vs. Female

Humans Vs. Nature


Human Vs. animal distinguished by the use of reason
Nature Vs. Culture

Law uses reason to take the best of nature and encode it to
maintain the good.

Proper kinds of sexual union

Proper kinds of parent-child relationships
American Kinship & American Values

Relatives In nature (no
cultural code of conduct)




Culture Only

Nature Tempered by Human
Reason Extracts the Best of
Nature in the Form of Human
Culture
Husband, Wife, In-laws (father,
mother, sister, brother, etc.),
Step- (mother, father, sister,
brother), Foster (son, daughter
Relatives By Blood within
cultural conventions

Nature Only
Natural child, Illegitimate child,
Natural mother, Natural Father,
Natural Grandparent, Etc.
Relatives In law (cultural
code, no nature)


Father, Mother, Brother, Sister,
Son, Daughter, Uncle, Aunt,
Niece, Nephew, Grandparents,
Etc.
Conclusion