Difficult Conversations
May 25, 2011
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
How might we respond?? Let’s explore
some options…
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Fight!
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Flight!
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Vote them off of the island!
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
• What is it we fear?
• “A difficult conversation is only the “big
deal” you make it to be and you allow it
to be.” Donna Flag, “Surviving Dreaded Conversation”
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
• What makes a conversation difficult?
– Differing opinions
– Stakes are high
– Emotions are strong
From “Crucial Conversations, Tools for Talking When Stakes are High”
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Everyone wants to be listened
to, understood, and taken
seriously.
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Insight #1:
It’s the right thing to do
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Insight #2:
Put the bad news up front
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Insight #3:
Get all of the data on the table…create
a pool of shared meaning
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Insight #4:
Ban the “BUT”!
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
THINK
What do I think?
Why do I think that?
What is the evidence?
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
Insight #5:
Ask yourself: why would a reasonable,
rational decent human being act like
this?
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
To address the issue or not…that is the
question!
– Don’t address and accept the current
situation
– Address the situation and create a more
positive future
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
“A vision is not just a picture of
what could be; it is an appeal to
our better selves, a call to
become something more.”
Rosabeth Moss Kanter
Resources
May 18, 2010
Crucial Conversations
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny,
Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
Resources
May 18, 2010
Difficult Conversations
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton,
Sheila Heen, and Roger Fishe
Resources
May 18, 2010
How to Win Friends and
Influence People
Dale Carnegie
Difficult Conversations
May 18, 2010
“Face the thing that seems
overwhelming and you will be
surprised how your fear will
melt away.”
Dale Carnegie