.
Seeing Communication’s
Hidden Dimensions
Keys to Developing Habits that
Ease Tensions, Build Relationships
Carol C. Shuherk PhD
Senior Associate Provost
University of Rochester
June 10th, 2015
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Intent versus Impact
Intent
Impact
That’s Not What I Said!!
…Or Is It??
2
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Key: The intent of a message rarely matches its
impact
INTENT: Where are you on the project?
IMPACT: What’s taking you so long?
INTENT:
IMPACT:
I can help you complete that
I don’t trust you to do it right
INTENT:
IMPACT:
How long will your mother be with us?
I dread having that woman in my home
3
The Hidden Dimension of Communication
Key: We perceive the world through the lens
of our expectations
Observation
Interpretation
Conclusion
4
Four More Years
Letters to the Editor
Reader #1
Do you have to be
so cut and
dry…..couldn’t
you be a little bit
celebratory?
Reader #2
Is it your role to be
celebratory? I
prefer my news
to be objective.
Kansas City Star, November 2008
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Key: Selective Perception has Pitfalls
Distorted Lens
Recency Error
Representative Error
Attribution Error
Rumination Error
8
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
We do not see things as they are
We see things as we are
Anais Nin
9
The Hidden Dimension of Communication
Key: All Communication has Two Levels of
Meaning
Content Meaning
Relationship Meaning
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The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Key: Communicators have Multiple Goals
Content
Process
Relationship
Identity
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Key: Communicators have Multiple Goals
Content
Expressed
Relationship
Felt
Process
Expressed
Identity
Felt
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Key: Communicators have Multiple Goals
Content
4th priority What is the
subject matter for
discussion?
Relationship
Process
3rd priority: How do we go
about discussing this?
Identity
2nd priority: How do I want to
1st priority: How can I
be treated in this relationship? preserve my self-concept, my
self esteem?
The Hidden Dimensions of Communication
Sorting out Intent, Perception, Meaning, Goals
You’re in a meeting with staff, working on a plan
for reporting safety issues; you want a system
that is replicable and easy to use. There’s
never been a consistent approach. You start to
say “The reason why I want this is…” and the
most senior staffer cuts in. She snorts, rolls her
eyes upward and says, “I don’t know WHY you
do the things you do.”
This public sarcasm is a pattern with her
14
Communication and Influence: Power
The Power Continuum
Either/Or---------------------------Both/And
The only morally defensible
relationship is one between equals
anonymous
15
Communication Influence: Power
Power Play: Passive Aggression
Dominating Power Styles Beget--Resistance: Strategic Incompetence
Feigned Misunderstanding
Selective Amnesia
Purposeful Procrastination
Tactical Tardiness
Equalizing Power Styles Beget--Responsiveness
16
Communication and Power
Power Currencies
Expertise
Resource Control
Interpersonal Linkages
Communication Skill
Calm Persistence
17
Communication and Influence
Five Approaches to Getting People to do What You
Want them to Do
Autocratic: You decide
Autocratic/Sales: You solicit input, then decide
Consultative: You solicit input, decide, and explain
Consensual: You facilitate a group decision
Group Derived: You give it to the group to decide
18
Communication and Personal Leadership Style
How Can I Get People to Comply?
Key Questions in determining approach:
Can I insure quality?
---do I have all the needed information?
---are others committed to the goal?
---is this a clear cut or complex matter?
19
Communication and Personal Leadership Style
How Can I Get People to Comply?
Key Questions in determining approach:
Can I ensure acceptance?
---how critical is acceptance to
implementation?
---are there differing views on procedure?
---is everyone committed and able?
20
Communication, Power, and Leadership Style
What is the Greatest of Communication Skill of all?
Making people feel
genuinely listened to
21
Communication, Power, and Leadership Style
What are the Tools of Good Listening?
Level I: Nonverbal Attentiveness
Level II: Content Reflection
Level III: Content & Feeling Reflection
Genuineness
22
Communication, Power, and Leadership Style
What are the Habits That Can Ease Tension
and Build Relationships?
Mindfulness
(of the complexities that lie below the surface)
Conscious Flexibility
(adapting style to audience in order to influence)
Active Listening
(exercising Level III listening daily)
23
.
Seeing Communication’s
Hidden Dimensions
Keys to Developing Habits that
Ease Tensions, Build Relationships
Carol C. Shuherk PhD
Senior Associate Provost
[email protected]
June 10th, 2015