A Mother’s Rule of Life
By Holly Pierlot, Presented by Kristen M. Soley
“The practical rule is a tool to get you to the heart of your mothering vocation – union with God and your husband and
family, in love.” – Pierlot
What is a Rule?
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“In addition to taking vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience, she agrees to follow the Rule of the
Community.”
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A Rule includes chores, meals, recreation, house rules, and dress.
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These are all required for daily life to run smoothly in the community.
Everybody knows their
place, duty, and what is expected of them.
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A rule brings order: “… a happy disposition of things… a multitude reduced in some wise to unity.”
Your Mission Statement:
Proverbs 31 – Our Mission Statement - Who is a Proverbs 31 Woman?
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She is an excellent wife who is worth more than jewels
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Her husband trusts her; she does him good all his life
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She works with her hands, sewing, cooking, etc.
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She wakes early and goes to bed late to keep things in order
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She contributes where she can, is resourceful, prudent and thrifty
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She is generous to the needy and sees her children are dressed appropriately, and presentably
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She dresses herself and her children so her husband can be pleased
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She is hopeful for the future and speaks wisely and teaches kindness
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She is a good manager of her home and idleness is not acceptable
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Because she obeys her duty, her children will bless her
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Her husband believes he has a wife that excels above all others
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Most importantly, she fears the Lord
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Sample Mother’s Rule
The 5 P’s:
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First P = Prayer
Second P = Person
Third P = Partner
Fourth P = Parent
Fifth P = Provider
If Your P’s are out of order, there will be chaos and very little peace in your day
especially the FIRST “P”
First ‘P’ – Prayer:
God calls us to get our personal life in order by establishing,
as top priority, the care of our soul and body.
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God comes first
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We must work everything else around God
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When we put God first, we build a strong foundation upon which our Domestic Church is built
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Start and end every day with prayer
Questions to ask yourself when creating your rule:
◦ What types of prayer practices are reasonable for any Christian on a daily basis?
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What limitations or special circumstances do I or my family have? i.e., personality tendencies, are you a morning
person or evening?
How can I find some private time throughout the day? Can my husband or older children help out?
What are my natural lulls in the day where I can arrange to have the children occupied in a safe and healthful
way so I can pray?
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Decide upon time slots for prayer, no matter how short, to set aside for prayer.
Which prayer practices do I want to schedule?
Where can I pray without distraction? Create a prayer spot with easy access to a rosary, bible, etc.
How often is it reasonable to get to confession?
How often can I attend Mass?
What about Children’s prayer time, family prayer time?
What about spiritual direction?
“A married woman must, when called upon, quit her devotions to God at the altar to find him in her household
affairs.” - St. Frances of Rome
First ‘P’ Sample Worksheet
Second ‘P’ Person:
Yes, we are called to obey - to humble ourselves - but in order to do this effectively; we will need the graces we receive
from time spent with God, a good night’s sleep, and good health.
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We need to care for ourselves, basic physical needs (sleep, exercise, food, vitamins, etc.)
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To fulfill our vocation, we will need the graces we receive from time spent with God, a good night’s
sleep, and good health. God “wants us to be holy, happy, and healthy.”
Questions to ask yourself when creating your rule:
◦ How much do I sleep every night? Is it enough? Can I add, subtract?
◦ What are basic hygiene and grooming tasks I must do daily, how often? Can I do them before or after meals?
(repeat this process for the children)
◦ How can I get my body moving and in shape? What forms of exercise would I like to do more? How, when,
where, can I do this? Can the children do any of this with me?
◦ How often do I think is reasonable for me to get out with friends? Do I prefer socialization to be regular or
spontaneous?
◦ What hobbies or other forms of recreation do I need to engage in each day to help balance and help relieve
stress?
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When would there be a natural time for me to do these things? When the kids are in bed? During their nap
time? After supper?
Second ‘P’ Sample Worksheet
Third ‘P’ Partner:
“Marriages fail only when spouses fail to be Christian.” -Fulton Sheen
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A solid, loving marriage is the bedrock of family life
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We need to be available to them first and foremost, before all other activities
Questions to ask yourself when creating your rule:
◦ When can I schedule a regular chunk of time just to be available to my husband? What type of things can I
arrange? Intimacy? What are his expectations vs. yours?
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Does my husband need any help from me aside from housework? Are there any little things he appreciates,
ways I could help make his life a little easier?
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How can I plan meals that he enjoys? Meal planning is a great asset in home management.
Read Fascinating Womanhood (by Helen Andelin) for great ideas in honoring your husband. It would be helpful
to know your husband’s love language when creating your rule. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Third ‘P’ Sample Worksheet
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Fourth ‘P’ Parent:
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“Parenting is a call to form persons.” We need to love our children in a conscious, consistent way
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Try to be more available to them throughout the day - not just physically, but mentally available to
them; laugh, talk and simply be with them
Questions to ask yourself when creating your rule:
◦ What exactly do your children need to do? For daily hygiene? To deal with their clothing? Their personal
prayer? Sports and hobbies? Friends? Catechism and Mass and Confession? Homework or schooling? Sleep,
rest, exercise?
◦ What supplies / materials do your children need to do these things?
◦ When can our children perform their duties and activities?
◦ When can I help my children?
Fourth ‘P’ Sample Worksheet
Fifth ‘P’ Provider:
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This constitutes a paycheck
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Caring for, maintaining, and repairing our home and our resources
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If time permits, earning extra income to help financially (if we do not already work outside the
home)
Questions to ask yourself to help in creating your rule:
◦ How much income do we have coming in on a regular basis?
◦ How much are we required to tithe to ensure we meet this obligation and experience God’s blessings?
◦ What are our basic and necessary monthly expenses?
◦ How much money do we owe, aside from car and home payments? What are payment schedules?
◦ What other expenses do we typically incur?
◦ What, if anything, can we allot to savings, no matter how small?
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Getting Started:
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Sit down and ask God to bless this effort
Define your mission statement
Evaluate your own ‘P’s’
Look at your day and the natural rhythm; prayers, meals, snacks, naps, errands, household chores, and other
duties related to your vocation
Jot down the things you’d like to get done
Note the things that never seem to get done (exercise, date nights, spiritual reading, cleaning out your purse,
etc.)
Allow room for emergencies, have a skeleton rule for essentials (prayer, meals, laundry, tidying, schoolwork,
etc.)
The schedule is made for the family, not the family for the schedule
Remain flexible but not “so flexible that [you] can reason yourself right out of your schedule again.”
Tips in Creating a Rule:
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Start your rule in the same order as the P’s
Start with set prayer times, and begin immediately
If adding more after Prayer seems too much, ask Him in prayer to help
After prayer, exercise, meals, cleaning, schoolwork, bills, and laundry are next
Don’t forget to add time for your spouse, your focused attention on him
Limit cleaning to fifteen minutes – there is a limit “to the nasty stuff Mummy is going to assign.”
Offering up our cleaning time for a soul, make it fruitful
Be sure to ask your husband’s blessing, if there are changes that will impact him in time away from home, or a
request for personal time (holy hour, mother’s retreat, daily Mass, etc.)
If you have a spiritual director, ask him to review and bless it. This will help you to remain obedient to it.
When your 5 P’s are in order, God always makes things work, the way He intends it.
When they are disordered, however, you will find likely find yourself unsettled, anxious, short-tempered, and feeling
like a failure.
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Resources:
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For great worksheets and other resources, including samples and this PPT, use this website:
http://www.thebigchristianfamily.com/p/1-mothers-rule-of-life.html
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Other resources - http://kristen.soleyfamily.com/Family/MothersRule.aspx or http://kristensoley.blogspot.com/
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For helpful a printable workbook filled with worksheets and information on pulling together your rule, please visit
Holly’s website - http://mothersruleoflife.ca/
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The book, A Mother’s Rule of Life can be purchased from Amazon.com, Sophia Institute, & Catholic
Company.com
Sources:
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A Mothers’ Rule of Life, Holly Pierlot 2004 – Sophia Institute Press
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Diary of St. Faustina
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St. Joseph’s Baltimore Catechism
Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”
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Mother’s Rule of Life – Prayer Worksheet
Personal Prayer Time:
Time
Type of Prayer
What will the Children be doing
Upon Rising
Morning
Afternoon
Evening
Before Bed
Sacramental Life / When
Books
Faith Studies, etc.:
Mass:
Reconciliation:
Adoration:
Spiritual Direction:
Prayer Group:
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How I spend My Time
Day/Time
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
AM - 5-7
7-8
8-9
9-10
10-11
11-12
PM 12 – 1
1-2
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Thursday
Friday
Saturday
2-3
3-4
4-5
5-6
6-7
7-8
8-9
9-10
10 onward
10
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Daily Rule
Time
Mom
Child 1
Child 2
Child 3
5-7
7-8
8-9
9 - 10
10 - 11
11 - 12
12 –
1pm
1-2
2-3
3-4
4-5
5-6
6-7
7-8
8 - 10
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Child 4
Child 5
Child 6
Child 7
Weekly Routines
Day/Time
Morning
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Afternoon
Evening
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Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Yearly Activities
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
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