Teen Talk
Tips on Talking to Teens
It was the best of times,
It was the worst of times….
ENDURING
UNDERSTANDINGS
•
Talking to a teen is a dynamic
process that requires reflection in
order to remain respectful, healthy
and positive
•
Communication & parenting styles
are closely related
•
Parents must work with their teen
to maintain positive communication
•
Communication within a family
should be developmentally
appropriate and adjusted over time
•
Communication within a family
should remain safe & supportive
ESSENTIAL
QUESTIONS
•
How do you keep communication
with a teen respectful, healthy and
positive?
•
What are communication styles?
What are parenting styles? How
are they related?
•
What strategies help to maintain
positive communication with a
teen?
•
How do you ensure that your
communication with your teen is
developmentally appropriate over
time?
•
What does safe & supportive
communication look like?
COMMUNICATION
STYLES
• Aggressive – Ready or likely to
attack or confront with words
and/or actions, in a hurtful
threatening way.
• Passive – Accepting or
allowing what happens or what
others do, without responding
or resisting.
• Assertive – Standing up for
your right to be treated fairly.
It is expressing your opinions,
needs, and feelings of others
in a supportive way.
Learning Activity
SCENARIOS
•
You receive a call during the school day from the principal
of your child's middle school. They inform you that your
child was caught deliberately plagiarizing on a paper in
Social Studies and would like you to talk to your child
about it. When your child comes home from school you
ask how their day was and they reply with a quick "fine."
•
Consider the 3 different communication. Discuss different
ways of responding. First response. Just right response.
Strategies for repairing if you are “too hard” or “too soft”.
•
Your child goes to Sri Lanka on a Week Without Walls trip
and when they arrive home you are informed by the trip
leader that your child was caught out of bounds with
another student in a room they were not supposed to be
in. On the drive from the airport your child says very little
about the trip and seems unwilling to engage in
conversation about it.
•
Consider the 3 different communication styles. Discuss
different ways of responding. First response. Just right
response. Strategies for repairing if you are “too hard” or
“too soft”.
PARENTING STYLES
•
Authoritarian – parenting marked by a
high demand of children and strict
discipline, but with little to no warmth or
compassion. Also referred to as a Drill
Sergeant Parent.
•
Permissive – parenting with few to no
demands and with a high-level of warmth.
Also referred to as Laissez-Faire
Parenting. These types of parents often
try to be friends with their child without
exhibiting a parental role.
•
Authoritative – parenting characterized by
a child-centered approach with high
demands but also high levels of warm and
responsiveness. Typically thought of as a
medium between Authoritarian &
Permissive. Encourage children to be
independent but still place limits on their
actions.
Learning Activity
SCENARIOS
•
You receive a phone call from another parent who says
your child was writing harassing Facebook posts about her
child. The parent says their child does not want to go to
school the next day because the comments on Facebook
makes them so uncomfortable. When your child arrives
home you calmly bring it up with your child and they
immediately become angry and begin yelling at you about
how much they dislike this student.
•
Consider the 3 different parenting styles. Discuss different
ways of responding. First response. Just right response.
Strategies for repairing if you are “too hard” or “too soft”.
•
You find a cigarette butt close to your home’s back door.
No one in your home is a smoker and you fear your child
may have smoked it. You decide to check your child’s
jacket that is hanging by the door and find a packet of
cigarettes. When your child arrives home from school
they deny that they smoked cigarettes but are unable to
explain who’s pack of cigarettes was in their jacket.
•
Consider the 3 different parenting styles. Discuss different
ways of responding. First response. Just right response.
Strategies for repairing if you are “too hard” or “too soft”.
TEEN TALK – TOP TEN
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Become an expert in adolescent
development
Be available during times of pain,
wrong choices, and failure. All
necessary for growth.
Be open to talk through decisionmaking. Help them “plan, do, review”
Provide love, boundaries, and
personal power for your teen
Create comfortable moments for
open & honest communication.
Engage in conversation, rather than
directing
Identify non-negotiables. Be willing
to discuss and compromise.
Listen with respect to what they say.
Listen to words and look for
underlying emotions.
Ask if help is wanted or needed,
before giving advice.
Model positive communication
TEEN TALK
RESOURCES
• How To Talk So Kids Will Listen &
Listen So Kids Will Talk by Faber
& Mazlish
• Bringing Up Kids Without Tearing
Them Down by Leman
• Parenting with Love & Logic by
Cline & Fay
• Positive Discipline by Nelsen &
Lott
• Words Kids Need to Hear by
Staal
• Please Stop the Roller Coaster
http://pleasestoptherollercoaster.c
om/
• Sue Blaney Parenting Teens
Slide Share
http://www.slideshare.net/sueblan
ey