Clergy Self-Care and Support Group Proposal
Alexander Dolin
Liberty University
Clergy Self-Care and Support Group
Introduction and Rationale
I am planning on starting a self-care group for local clergy. This will be a group of local
religious professionals from religious institutions and ministries in the surrounding area. The need
for clergy self-care and support groups is great. In many cases, pastors and clergy leaders are
isolated and forgotten about, yet these helpers need help too. The past twenty or so years of pastoral
trends have been pretty bleak : 70% of pastors are so stressed or burned out that they have
considered leaving the ministry, while 40% actually do quit (Krejcir, 1998, p. 1). A more recent
Pulpit and Pew research study determined that 76% of clergy were overweight compared to 61% of
the general population. Nearly 90% of pastors reported working over 55 hours a week. In addition,
90% admitted that they do not feel that they were adequately prepared in seminary to cope with
their own pastoral care needs (Ferguson, 2007). These are just some of the basic statistics marking
the need for clergy support groups.
Pastors and ministers also commonly work alone, especially in rural and small churches.
They often are called upon to perform many roles in their congregation, with little or no supervisor,
co-leadership or support. Other key stressors include: financial stress, lack of family privacy,
frequent moves, spouse being on call, spouse is busy serving others and lack of ministry to clergy
family. Simply put, pastors have a lot of pressure on them, but supported pastors tend to produce
healthier churches (Trihub, McMinn, Buhrow Jr, & Johnson, 2010, p. 102).
There is little data regarding clergy support and therapy groups, although the information
that is available is encouraging. According to a study by the Austin Presbyterian Seminary, Pastoral
leaders who participate in peer groups are associated with congregations whose members are highly
involved in their churches. The members are being a part of the body of Christ! This not only puts
less stress and pressure on the pastor, but it also is a predictor of congregational growth. The data
also shows that the longer a pastor is in such a peer support group, the healthier he is, and also the
healthier his congregation is (Austin Presbyterian Seminary, 2010, p. 5). Even atheists are seeing
the need and advantages of support groups. The Clergy Project, a group associated with Richard
Dawkins, is offering a support group for clergy who have lost their faith (Barrick, 2011). Other than
these mentioned above, there is very little hard, solid research regarding the effectiveness of support
groups with clergy.
The group I am proposing would be ran at Cross Pointe Church in Lancaster, Ohio. There
would be no need for any other staff members, as I am a key-holding ordained minister at the
church. We would hold our meeting in the side conference room left of the sanctuary. There are no
scheduling conflicts, with the church, on Tuesday evenings for this room. We can also serve coffee
in this room. I would take it on myself to see to it that I or someone else in the church would keep
us stocked on coffee. In its entirety, this group will last eight sessions and will be meeting weekly.
For the purpose of this assignment, four sessions will be sampled below. The proposes of the group
are many: The primary goal is to help members to learn to deal with and properly manage personal
and ministry stresses. A secondary goal is to allow members to share the joys and challenges of
ministry and ministry issues by helping to build support networks among professionals.
Sessions One Outline
ACTIVITY: Introduction to the Group and Physical Care
TIME ALLOTED: 1.5 hours
SUPPLIES: Notebook of paper, pen/pencil, Completed Intake Forms (optional)
GROUP SET-UP: Eight comfortable captain office chairs in the shape of a circle, each
chair facing the center of the circle to help facilitate group discussion and interactions.
OBJECTIVES:
1. To provide opportunity for group members to get to know each other
2. To provide clergy with an opportunity to identify one personal goal for growth
3. To provide participants an opportunity to evaluate their own physical care
DIRECTIONS:
1. Very briefly I will touch base on the intake form (see Appendix C) by going around the
room and introducing ourselves by name, ministry we are a part of and sharing what personal
goals have been established by every individual and if anything in the intake or informed consent
grabbed their attention. The intake form, given to every participant after the interview, is not a
required homework assignment but merely a tool that will help participants establish personal goals
before entering the group. If there is ambivalence regarding goals, I would ask the individual ,
"What is working in your life? What is not working in your life? What is one area you would be
willing to discuss today?" ( about 30 minutes total.)
2. I will read this script: There is lots of evidence that clergy do not take care of themselves
physically. Clergy are engaged in a stressful profession and neglecting their bodies makes them
very vulnerable. Everyone knows that in the abstract, but it is easy to neglect care of one‘s body in
practice. The most obvious areas of care for one‘s body are diet and physical exercise. A first step
towards improvement is becoming conscious of your reality.
Take a piece of paper and describe how you are currently paying attention to your diet and
getting your exercise. Are you pleased with the result? While you are at it, describe a first step in
improving your behavior. (About 5 minutes).
3. Break into dyads, have partners share their reactions and goals with each other.
Encourage them to find a way to keep accountability. (About 5 minutes).
4. Come back to full circle. Read this script: There is always the temptation of small
indulgences. I’ve been working hard, doing so much good, I deserve that candy bar or extra order of
French fries. I’ve been so busy meeting the demands of my congregation that I have just been too
tired to go exercise. Not all indulgences are bad but they can easily get out of hand. Becoming
conscious of them is a first step to keeping a balance in your life. On your paper, list a couple of
small indulgences that you have given in to during the past month. (About 5 minutes).
4. Read Script: Don‘t set yourself up for failure by comparing what you do now with some
ideal that is impossible to achieve. Think about one small step you can take and let that be a
beginning point. First, take a piece of paper and make a quick list of the variety of ways that one
can engage in physical exercise. As individuals there are such things as walking, running,
swimming, weight lifting, etc. (About 5 minutes).
Once you have your list, look at it and see what is most attractive to you. What is a modest
way that you can begin with one form of exercise that is already attractive to you? Let the group
discuss what they wrote down. Might have to draw people out quickly (About 10 minutes).
5. I noticed some of you shared the same sorts of activities....think about ways people get
exercise in connection with other people. Some play sports together, attend exercise classes, find a
partner to walk with, run with, etc. Who in this group might enjoy partnering with you to begin a
better exercise program? Having someone else who expects you to participate helps build support
for changing your habits. Some people have found the benefit of an early morning or evening
walking program. I will give you the next 5 minutes to make plans this week to exercise with
someone else in this group. (Exactly 5 minutes).
6. Collect group back to circle. Read Script: A next, rather scary step would be to explore
the spiritual dimensions of taking care of your physical body, preaching or teaching a course on it,
and sharing with your congregation your desire to improve your body and inviting them to do the
same. There is nothing like public commitment to strengthen your resolve.
7. Closing and Reflection: So today we meet together and already have learned a lot about
each other. We evaluated our goals for this group and investigated our own physical care. These
sessions all are very similar in structure, like today we will be doing in-group exercises and also
completed out-of-group weekly homework. Each session has a different theme, today was physical
care. Next week is emotional care. Your homework for this week is to take this Symptoms of Stress
and Exhaustion Inventory. The second half, the stress card activity, is optional. Although, many
people find it very enlightening, especially done with a spouse or good friend. Before we close are
there any prayer requests? After the requests are mentioned, have the each person pray for the
person to their right. Dismiss after prayer. (About 20-25 minutes).
HOMEWORK: Symptoms of Stress and Exhaustion (See Appendix B).
(Session activities take from: McCutchan, 2010, p. 9,10)
Sessions Two Outline
ACTIVITY: Emotional Self-Care
TIME ALLOTED: 1.5 hours
SUPPLIES: Notebook of paper (Optional), pen/pencil (Optional)
GROUP SET-UP: Eight comfortable captain office chairs in the shape of a circle, each
chair facing the center of the circle to help facilitate group discussion and interactions.
OBJECTIVES:
1. To increase group cohesion
2. To increase knowledge of others in the group
3. To provide participants an opportunity to evaluate their own emotional care
DIRECTIONS:
1. Make a round, checking-in and discusses the homework. Ask them "How was it to fill
out this homework?" Make a round. Then I will ask a simple question: "Who here was surprised by
how many symptoms you checked off?" Go around the room . As caretakers and clergy leaders it is
easy to push a few of these aside on a daily basis. It is not until we are stressed out that we begin to
acknowledge our own emotional well being. Then ask " Who here felt guilty checking all of the
symptoms? Or maybe you intentionally skipped a few in order to avoid embarrassment?...Anyone?"
If they are honest, there will be some discussion here. (10-15 minutes).
2. Group Exercise: I will be reading a series of statements. After each statement, you are to
stand up and go to the center of the group circle if the statement is true for you. After each
statement, those who are standing in the center of the circle are instructed to share with the inner
circle why you have joined the inner circle. (Just share a few statements or sentences.)
Join the inner Circle if…
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Feel isolated and alone in ministry life...
You no longer have the same passion and zeal for ministry that you once felt...
Have become preoccupied with those you are helping that you think about them while at
home...
Are not finding satisfaction with one‘s ministry...
Are experiencing a loss of energy....
Finding difficulty separating your own feelings and spiritual life from the problems being
dealt
with....
Have increased irritability in everyday life and family...
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Feel like you do not have many friends outside your family and congregation...
Feel like your priestly activities are not worthwhile...
Notice that you have become a lot more miserable and irritable than ever before....
After the activity ask the group these questions:
What was your experience of this exercise?
What did you learn about others?
What did you learn about yourself?
Who did you find yourself wanting to know more about? (About an hour)
3. Read Script: Ministry places you on an emotional rollercoaster. At one moment, you are
preparing a sermon. Then someone interrupts you with a personal problem for which they seek
counsel. On the same day, you may face a complaint about some trivial event, prepare for the
baptism of an infant, plan for a youth retreat, and engage in an ecumenical response to some
community event. Then you open the mail and read of some member‘s complaint about something
you have done or failed to do. There are highs, lows, boredom, and continual demands. Is it any
wonder that you feel emotionally drained at the end of a week? When you engage in this week after
week, it takes its toll. Likely, the better a pastor you are, the heavier the emotional toll. Another key
thing to remember is that you all are not alone. Look around the room right now, you can see that
each of these ministers are struggling with the same things you are and that is ok!
Now, what are some practices that can provide you relief from emotional stress? It is
important to identify a variety of strategies that fit into various and consistent time slots. It may be
that you only have a few minutes and just need to learn how to breathe. Another time, in between
hospital calls, you may need to avail yourself of fifteen minutes in the hospital chapel. There are
times you need to give yourself permission to read a good book or take a walk. Sometimes knowing
that you have a regularly scheduled appointment with a spiritual guide may get you through the day.
Do a round asking everyone to name two or three things they need to do every week for their own
personal downtime...(About 15-20 minutes).
Wrap up by giving a homework assignment and ask one member to say a quick prayerwatch out for time constraints! Before the closing prayer read the homework description below:
HOMEWORK:
Try a simple experiment this week. If you have either a watch or an electronic calendar on
phone or computer that has an alarm built in, set it for 10:30 and 3:30 every day for a month. When
the alarm goes off, enter a brief Sabbath time in which you offer thanks to God for your life and
God‘s call in your life. If you are with someone when the alarm goes off, simply zone out for a
minute for an interior prayer, or if that is impossible, make a note to do that at the first opportunity.
If you are not with someone or can excuse yourself, perhaps for a bathroom break, enter the stall
and spend 5 minutes alone with God. The objective is not measured in length of time but the
regularity of interrupting your day twice to enter a sanctuary that helps you stay in touch with that
which is important.
Sessions Three Outline
ACTIVITY: Spiritual Self-Care
TIME ALLOTED: 1.5 hours
SUPPLIES: Notebook of paper, pen/pencil, Bible
GROUP SET-UP: Eight comfortable captain office chairs in the shape of a circle, each
chair facing the center of the circle to help facilitate group discussion and interactions.
OBJECTIVES:
1. To provide opportunity for group members to make discoveries about others in the group
2. To provide clergy with an opportunity build group cohesion
3. To increase self-disclosure
4. To provide participants an opportunity to revitalize their own spiritual self care
DIRECTIONS:
1. Let's begin by going over the homework experiment. Last week we examined emotional
well-being. Everyone, including and especially, the ministers need to take emotional breaks and
relax. The experiment assignment was to schedule in two 5 to 15 minuet Sabbath periods into your
day, every day the last seven days. As we check-in, everyone give me two/three sentences on if you
did it and how it was for you..." (About 15-20 minutes.)
2. Our topic today flows right from last week's topic, spiritual well-being. Honestly, how
many of us (myself included) ever find yourself thinking..."I have to act like a clergy at all times?"
Wherever you are, at the store, church, home, with family or in town....you have a clergy/pastor
persona....Tell me a little bit about that? How is that persona working out for you? (Discuss this for
10-15 minutes).
This is what I like to call the Pedestal Syndrome. It is frustrating, as you guys pointed out,
because we tend to put on unreal expectations (as you pointed out ___). You are human too. You
are not a perfect person or pastor and that is okay. Worse (as ____ pointed out) we feel guilty for
not meeting those unhealthy expectations. And even worse, we are never really free to relax and be
ourselves, because we have to be pastor so and so (Adapted from Arumugam, 2003, p. 208).
3. Exercise: We all remember the call to ministry in our own lives, don't you? We are going
to do this potentially powerful exercise together. First, I want you to beginning thinking about your
sense of God's call in your life. What passages in the Bible describe that call? What was your
experience life when you knew that you were called? Just a regular man doing God's work... Sit
here, close your eyes and think back to when you heard the call. Which biblical figures/characters
do you relate with? (Pause.) Where were you? Put yourself in that place for a moment. (Pause.)
What Biblical passages come to mind in regards to your calling? (Pause.) Recall those Scriptures
that really encourage you, even today in your ministry. (Pause.) Now, open your eyes, grab your
notebooks and pens and write about this experience, in a stream of conscience fashion. It is
important to not censor your writing in the process. You are not trying to compose and essay on the
call. You are simply writing without stopping for 10 minutes or so. Then go back and read what you
have written and see what that evokes in you. if you need to look something up quickly in your
Bible that is fine also. Meditatively and prayfully just write, free-flowingly...Don‘t throw away
what seems irrelevant. Save it and see what God does with it later. (15-20 minutes).
4. After the writing is completed, assemble the circle again. Very briefly, each member will
summarize long journals or if it is short, read your journaling to the group. (10 minutes).
5. Process the following questions with the group:
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How did it feel to share your journal with others in the group?
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How has your calling affected your career as a minister?
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What commonalities and differences did you discover about other group members
and their callings?
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Did some of the things you learned surprise you? (20 minutes)
5. Closing -Assign the homework and encourage everyone to continue processing what they
learned and also encourage everyone to pray for each other this week. Hand out, to each member, a
copy of the description of homework options below. They can do both or either or. (5 minutes)
HOMEWORK OPTIONS:
Option 1- One practice that can strengthen your own spiritual life is the silent meal. This is
frequently practiced in monasteries. There is a freedom in not being expected to speak and interact
with others. It offers you an opportunity to draw within yourself.
This can be practiced even at a fast food restaurant. Order an inexpensive meal, choose a
table, and enter into a time of silence in the midst of the cacophony of the world around you. As you
sit down at the table, before you unwrap your meal, begin your prayer time. Begin with prayers for
all those who had some part in preparing the meal before you, taking that as far back in the food
process as possible. There was someone who has raised the animal or planted and cared for the
vegetables that you are about to eat, who prepared the paper, designed the package, etc.
After about ten minutes of prayer, begin to slowly unwrap your simple meal and
occasionally take a bite or sip of my drink as you continue your prayers. As much as possible, pray
with your eyes closed and your mind totally focused. You might pray for people or situations in
your ministry, or pray for colleagues that you know are having a difficult time. Prayer for at least
one-half hour from the time that you sit down at the table.
Option 2- Take short periods of time in the beginning. Determine to take a half-hour break
in which you will explore how Scripture can speak to you about the attributes of God. Use a
concordance to identify some adjectives that praise God. Gather up several of them and then spend
some time exploring the nature of God through these adjectives. That might come in the form of a
word study or it might be in the form of contemplation around one or two of these adjectives.
Whatever your approach,, the purpose is to focus your attention on the wonder of God.
The time limit of one-half hour might even serve the advantage of intriguing you so that you
want to set aside another half-hour at another time to continue the experience. Discipline yourself to
avoid thinking of how useful your work might be for a sermon, a class, etc. This is time to place
yourself purely in the presence of God in a loving way. However you go about it, keep some notes
on how it makes you feel. If one aspect of the Sabbath is to step outside of the normal pace of life to
nurture relationships, this is a way to begin with a short Sabbath experience of loving God.
[ Themes of the other sessions: Session Four- Family care, Session Five- Financial care,
Session Six- Vocational care, Session Seven- Social care. ]
Sessions Eight Outline
ACTIVITY: Termination
TIME ALLOTED: 1.5 hours
SUPPLIES: Paper and pencil
GROUP SET-UP: Eight comfortable captain office chairs in the shape of a circle, each
chair facing the center of the circle to help facilitate group discussion and interactions.
OBJECTIVES:
1. To provide group feedback to individuals
2. To provide resources and referrals for clergy
3. To provide individuals the share resources, prayer requests and a continued support
system
4. To provide individuals the opportunity to terminate with other group members
DIRECTIONS:
1. Begin by instructing clergy to get into dyads to discuss homework from session seven
(see Appendix D). Obviously do not allow members who meet each other to dyad together. Allow
them five minutes to ask each other, "What was the homework assignment like for you? Who did
you go to lunch/dinner with? What did you learn?" Then we will make a check-in/round, getting
feedback from everyone. Give each person 2 minutes to respond if necessary. (About 20-25
minutes).
2. Read Script: Who remembers the first session and the intake form from the interview?
Process these questions with the group:
Do you also remember what goals you set for yourself at the beginning?
How have those goals developed? Have you seen growth the last eight weeks?
Have your goals changed?
What activities were the most helpful for you?
What action steps are you going to take to continue accomplishing growth and goals? (Are you
willing to put that into a contract form?)
(50-55 minutes)
3. Read Script: As you know this is our last session in this group. We have been meeting
together for a total of eight sessions and have covered seven areas of self-care. Hopefully through
these sessions, you have learned more about yourself and found useful activities and tools for
continuing your own self-care. Unlike many other types of self-help groups, in a group like this, it is
appropriate for members to continue meeting together for continued accountability and support. I
highly encourage this group to start or join an already existing peer or colleague clergy group or
clergy support group. Some of you may really value having a facilitator or therapist, if this is the
case, you may join one of my groups at a discounted rate or get individual therapy. I want you to be
aware of the opportunities out there for you. I will gladly make referrals for anyone interested in
continuing your self-care and mental health.
Even if you do not form or join a peer group, I want to set aside some time in this session for
making connections with the other pastors and leaders in this group, if you have not already done
so. You are not alone in ministry. As you have already experienced in this group, we all struggle
with many of the same issues in our self-care habits. There is a copier in the church office here, if
you would like me to make copies of contact information. I will give you a few minutes to
exchange information and run the copier. (About 5 minutes).
4. Okay. Well it has been a pleasure working with every single one of you. I am blessed to
have had the opportunity to serve you in this role. I have this handout of self-care resources I would
like you to have and use (See Appendix E). Your homework is on your own power. If you desire a
referral come see me afterwards. I encourage you to stay in contact with these men here and to
follow through with your contracted goals. Imagine how on fire Lancaster, Ohio and the
surrounding areas for Christ, if we take care of ourselves and live the life God has for us! Does
anyone have any last prayer requests? We will do popcorn prayer. Who would like to start? I will
close it out....Pray...say goodbyes. (5-10 minutes).
HOMEWORK (Optional/on your own power): Get a referral if you desire one.
Stay in contact with other members. Follow through with your contracted goals. Take this handout
of Self-care websites and resources (See Appendix E).
Marketing and Screening
Marketing
Potential members are any local religious professionals includingclergy, reverends, pastors,
lay leaders, campus ministers, church staff, chaplains. or any other related persons. Imam, bishops,
rabbis, priests and those of cultic or extreme denominational backgrounds are welcome to apply.
They should come to the interview with the understanding that this is a Christian organization with
Protestant Christian values and orientation. For some, this will be acceptable and they will still be
interested in taking part, for others this will turn them away.
To get this group started, I will mail flyers (see Appendix A) and brochures (a very
condensed version of this proposal) to the surrounding (within 20 miles of Lancaster) churches.
Honestly, I will focus on many of the smaller, rural churches first, as many of the larger churches
have staff training and support. Then, I will follow-up with phone calls and emails. I will gather all
interested persons together for an informational meeting detailing exactly what I am planning on
doing. Those whom are still interested will then be interviewed individually by myself. If there is a
lot of interest and more than 8 good candidates after the interview process, I could start more than
one group. I may also expand the group to 12, but I am hesitant due to time constraints. It will be an
experiment. The second group could meet on a separate night. If the second groups fills up and
there is still interest, then the next group of pastors could join up after the first cycle of eight weeks
ends.
Screening
This group is intended for leaders of religious institutions. Therefore, if a person is not
working for a church, para-church or ministry setting, than this group is not for you. There are a few
exceptions (like hospital and military chaplains and possibly members of other faith groups). The
reason for this connection is important. This self-care/support group is starting on the foundation of
ministry leadership. All the members can connect and relate their own stories to the other members.
A non-leader religious would not fit in or relate to the group. And in many cases, such a person
would be either somewhat intimidated or just disinterested and bored. While a pastor who knows he
could use more self-care, feels welcome and encouraged to know that there are other colleagues
also struggling with the same things.
Religious leaders who are looking for self-promotion should be excluded from the group.
Ulterior motive is tough to determine, but this group is not simply for validation, publicity of events
or a ministry, pridefully showing-off ministry results or knowledge, winning favor, gathering
resources without regards to self-care or any other hype. It is not for debating church management
technique, theology or other doctrines. It is not for discussing the difference in denominations or
religious groups. If the motive for joining the group is not a healthy one after the interview, I will
deny one's entry into the group. Question three is psycho-educational so the facilitator can explain
that the advice giving is prohibited in the group. After the interview, the potential group members
who were still interested and not excused based on the interview questions, will be given an intake
form (see appendix C). The facilitator would explain to them that this intake form is more for their
own benefit in helping them evaluate their life and come up with goals.
Interview/Screening Questions
1. Why do you want to join this group?
2. What do you want to get out of this group?
3. How do you think this group will help you with this goal?
4. How would you help others with similar concerns?
5. Have you ever been in a support group, a psychoeducational group or therapy group
before?
6. What strengths do you bring to this group?
7. How would you describe your current relationship with God?
8. How would you describe your current relationship with (your spouse?- if married) (
or best friend?- if not married)
9. Are you willing to commit to the terms outlined in the informed consent (attendance
commitment, confidentiality commitment, etc)? If yes, will you sign it? (See
Consent Form Below).
Theory
The group will operate under a modified existential theory. Existential theory grew out of a
European humanism and atheistic philosophy of existentialism in the 1800s. Aspects of this theory,
therefore, fail to recognize important spiritual aspects of existence. Although, Yalom's existential
psychotherapy can be integrated into a Christian worldview (Bartz, 2009, p. 69). The theory does
need to be slightly modified to overcome the inherent conflicts the original theory has with theism.
The main premise of existential theory, which is very useful in self-care groups, is that
people are responsible for their choices. People contour their lives by their choices. People need to
choose to seek meaning in their lives or by not seeking meaning; they are choosing despair and
suffering. There is some Christian truth to this kind of statement, which will be dealt with in the
group. In this theory, all group members are starting on equal footing with others. In the pastoral
self-care group, this will also be true. All of these religious professionals will be coming in as
religious leaders who are struggling with self-care. They are all in similar situations and have all
agreed to the same group expectations and rules in the informed consent and interview (Gladding,
2012, p.354).
Existential theory first emphasizes self-awareness. To an extent, this is a portion that will be
modified. While not every member, may necessarily be Christian, the group is a Christian
organization founded on a Christian worldview, so the materials and discovery for "who we are" as
individuals will be founded on these Christian presuppositions. While in non-modified existential
theory, these presuppositions are not already automatically intact. Following such presuppositions is
actually highly discouraged by true existentialists (Gladding, 2012, p.354). In addition, it is a selfcare group, pastors are coming into the group knowing full well that they need to take care of some
things, including themselves. The structure is warranted by the fact that they have already
recognized they need this sort of help.
After the discovery of self-awareness comes the attention of personal responsibility. In a
pastoral self-care group, as a facilitator I hope to bring a lot of awareness to each member's own
self-care and from there it is obvious that there is a lot of personal responsibility involved in selfcare: spiritually, mentally, physically and so on. Naturally, through this process, these ministers
will have to handle and manage anxieties in their lives. These very anxieties are the reason for
coming to this group in the first place. These anxieties in life are both demanding more attention
than their own self-care and in many cases exist because of their neglect to self-care. There is often
a cycle occurring. It then is up to the member to find meaning in this cycle and in these anxieties.
Fortunately, there are a lot of great materials, exercises and methods developed by and for
Christians to help members find meaning and deal with these anxieties with the Christian
worldview. This is another alteration made to the existential model (Gladding, 2012, p.355).
Being the leader of such a group is also pastoral in a way, as the leader, is not acting as
expert, but as a fellow journeyer. The leader takes risk by facilitating the uncomfortable emotions
and anxieties, in order to stretch the group members. The group leader also confronts discrepancies
they are hearing. In this model the leader does self-disclose and offers knowledge and experiences
(Gladding, 2012, 355-6). In this type of group, members digging deep in their own anxieties
become more authentic with other pastors. Other pastors feel connected and realize that they are not
alone in their struggles of anxiety, struggles with self-care and interpersonal responsibility develops.
There is a potential for an entire city of church leaders to come out healthy and connected and ready
for to be used by God even more powerfully (Gladding, 2012, 356).
This theory with a trained professional facilitator is especially helpful in a self-help or selfcare group. Interpersonal learning, which is done through processes such as feedback and
confrontation, is generally deemphasized in self-help and peer support groups. This is largely
because it can be threatening, and requires training and understanding of small group processes.
Similarly, reality testing, is also deemphasized. Reality testing relies on consensual validation,
offering feedback, seeking feedback and confrontation. These processes seldom occur in self-help
groups, though they frequently occur in professionally directed groups.
Consent
Clergy Self-Care Group Contract
Alexander Dolin - M.Div, LPC - Christian Existential/ Cognitive/Behavioral
Christian Virtue and Orientation
This is a Christian organization founded on the Bible and a Christian Worldview. In this group,
members are to treat other members with love and respect. There shall be no substance use, no
derogatory language or cursing. Treat fellow ministers, as you want them to treat you. This group is
not for promoting ministry, debating theology or advice giving.
Purposes and goals of this group
The primary goal is to help members to learn to deal with and properly manage personal and
ministry stresses. A secondary goal is to allow members to share the joys and challenges of ministry
and ministry issues by helping to build support networks among professionals.
Absences
Attendance is important to the cohesiveness of the group, so please attend each group meeting.
Please notify the therapist if you need to miss a session.
Confidentiality
Names of group members or information pertaining to other group members are not to be
mentioned outside of the group. The group will not discuss absent group members.
Confidentiality Disclaimer
I, the facilitator, promise to maintain confidentiality at all times. There are three reasons exist,
however, when confidentiality may be breached by the facilitator: (a) My condition indicates a
clear and imminent danger exists to me or others, (b) Disclosure of information is mandated by law
or court ordered, or (c) Current or past child or elder abuse is suspected or apparent.
Payment Procedures
A new member must agree to contract for 8 sessions ($240[$30 per session] is due at the 1st group
meeting). After the initial sign-up of 8 sessions, members who wish to continue on after the 8
sessions will pay at a discounted rate ($160, discounted to $20 per session). If there are 5 weeks in
a month, the group will not meet on the 5th week, unless the 5th week is needed to make up a
session missed due to a holiday or scheduling conflict. If there are only 3 sessions in the month due
to a holiday/conflict, the fourth session will be made up (or you will be charged for only 3 sessions).
Size
Group size will not exceed 12 members (plus counselor). A group must have 4 members (plus
counselor) to continue as a group in the long term.
Termination
A new member wishing to terminate will announce their intention no later than the 6th session. No
refunds will be given if the new member decides not to continue with the remaining sessions. After
the initial 8-week period, a member is considered graduated from the program. They may desire to
go through the sessions again at discounted rate and/or refer a fellow colleague to the program.
Contact-out of group
I will not initiate contact with any of you outside of this group. You are welcome to initiate contact
with me. I am not ignoring you, but protecting your confidentiality. The nature of this group allows
for ministry connections and for members to contact each other outside of group. I encourage
ministry connections, but remember to do so carefully and at your own risk. Remember we are the
body of Christ. We are Christ's ambassadors. This group is to be the shepherds and leaders of the
church. Treat each other's personal information with the utmost confidence. I also will encourage
the group at termination to continue being a part of a self-care group therapy, clergy support,
colleague/peer group or to get individual counseling. Take care of yourself and your relationship
with the Father!
Potential Impact of Participation
Participation in group has the potential to provoke uncomfortable feelings for you. Additionally,
there is the risk of breach of confidentiality from members and group scapegoating. You are
encouraged to approach the facilitator if you feel you are experiencing any of these things. You are
also free to withdraw from group at any time.
Signature___________________________________ Date_____________
Group and Starting Date__________________________________________________
Outcomes
I would give them this survey to fill out at the end of the termination session, but I would
also mail this survey three months after the termination session to check their progress and evaluate
the more long term outcomes.
1. Overall, how would you rate the quality of the Clergy Self-Care program?
Excellent
Above Average
Average
Below Average
Poor
2. In the past eight weeks, have you seen improvement in your own self-care? Y or N?
Please Explain?
3. Do you feel that you are more connected and less isolated in ministry after this
group experience?
4. How would you rate the amount of progress you made on your own personal goals
during these sessions?
Excellent
Above Average
Average
Below Average
Poor
5. What suggestions or comments do you have for the facilitator?
6. How could this group improve in the future?
7. Did you feel the group was a safe place to share resources and talk about ministry
issues?
Problem-Solving
The chronic talker
The chronic talker often talks more than he or she realizes. In some cases, this person knows
that he or she is talking too much but does not realize the effect this is having on the group. At first,
other group members could berelived to have a chronic talker in the group, This would mean that
most of the attention is going towards that person and not centered on themselves. Over time, a
chronic talker is quite annoying to most of the other members, as they are not able to get words in
and are somewhat bored with the direction of the group when this member starts talking. Often, the
chronic talker has some underlying anxiety that prompts this talkative behavior (Gladding, 2012).
There are several ways to handle the chronic talker. If the leader notices the chronic talker
earlier on, then the leader can break the group into dyads and make sure he/she is with the chronic
talker and then during the dyad, the leader can address the issue with less embarrassment. Although,
by allowing the other group members to give feedback (either orally or written) directly to the
chronic talker is also effective. When the chronic talker might interrupt someone else's important
work, the leader can also cut-off the chronic talker (Jacobs, Masson, & Harvill, 2012, p. 395).
The silent member
Silent members could be silent for a number of reasons. They might simply be really
passive, shy, or simple people. On the other hand, they may be dealing with hostility. Then they
may just be adapting getting comfortable with the group, not trusting other members, still
processing what they are feeling, thinking, or not feeling prepared or feeling anxious on, top of any
combination of the other possibilities mentioned. The best way to address a silent member is to
simply ask them what they are feeling. This will help draw an understanding of why they are silent,
in some cases. More simply, this will also give them time to not be silent (Galdding, 2012, p. 96)!
Simply and delicately, drawing out information is the most common way to address a silent member
(Jacobs, Masson, & Harvill, 2012, p.188). If a silent member was silently dealing with something
more deep like hostility, this is an opportunity to begin work on these issues also. A consistently
silent person typically will not get as much out of group therapy as someone who is more active.
Also, even if a silent person is getting something good out of group, this could be shared with other
members and enhance the entire experience if they had chosen to share with the group.
The member who attacks another in the group
Conflict is a natural part of group. Inevitably, there will be some conflict in every group.
Normally, a healthy conflict can be resolved and used to help grow the members of the group in the
end of transition stage and moves solidly into the working stage if there is enough trust established
in the group. If the conflict happens to be too early on in the group, then it will be a defining
moment for building more trust of other members (Gladding, 2012, p.117).
Then there is more difficult conflict, a personal attack on another group member. Hopefully,
in the screening process, a leader has already talked to each member about problem areas such as
what to do with dislike for other members. Although, there is no way to completely prevent another
member from disliking or attacking another member. As with other conflict or unique situations, the
best way to address the issue is to draw it out and examine it. Focusing on the instance of attack and
the reasons for it can be some of the most beneficial discussions in the entire group process. The
victim of the attack, the attacker and the observers all can potentially come away with a experience
of growth. This has to be done carefully and should be done by getting feedback from both the
victim, then the attacker and also from other members (Jacobs, Masson, & Harvill, 2012, p.408).
The member who stops coming
Even when attendance is required, it is still a choice. Demanding attendance helps insure
that all members will participate and keep commitment to the other members. I would make every
attempt to contact the client and discuss with him/her about why he/she has stopped coming. I now
have to ask myself "why did that patient stop coming?" It could be that the patient did not value my
services. Which leads me to ask, "why?" and "could I be treating differently to be more effective?"I
would really be questioning and evaluating my own services.
Maybe my service is fine. There is an issue with this one member. Groups may not be
appropriate for every person. The counselor may determine that a group is not in the best interest of
a client. If so, then the counselor can apply all prepayment for unattended groups into an individual
session. When all efforts to revive the therapy have been exhausted, the therapists would contact
the referral coordinator to get the client so other help.
References
Arumugam, S. (2003). Evaluation of a Clergy Stress Management Intervention. University of
Zululand, , 1-230.
Austin Presbyterian Seminary (2010). Is the Treatment the Cure? A Study of the Effects of
Participation in Pastoral Leader Peer Groups. Survey Report and Analysis, , 1-62.
Barrick, A. (2011, October 15). Atheists Form Support Group for Nonbelieving Pastors. Retrieved
June 14, 2012, from http://www.christianpost.com/news/atheists-form-support-group-fornonbelieving-pastors-58252/
Bartz, J. (2009). Theistic Existential Psychotherapy. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality , 1(2),
69-80.
Ferguson, S. (2007). Clergy Compassion Fatigue. Family Therapy Magazine, , 16-19.
Gladding, S. (2012). Groups: A Counseling Specialty (6th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson
Education Inc.
Iowa State University (2001). Self-Help Groups: Session 5-Managing Stress. Iowa State University
Extension Publication SP , , 1-11.
Jacobs, E. E., Masson, R. L., & Harvill, R. L. (2012). Group counseling: Strategies & skills. (7th
ed.). Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole.
Krejcir, R. J. (1998). Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development. Retrieved
June 13, 2012, from
http://www.intothyword.org/apps/articles/default.asp?articleid=36562&columnid=3958
McCutchan, S. (2010). Toolbox Items. : Presbytery Pastoral Care Network. retrieved June 10th,
2012 from
http://www.pastoralcarenetwork.org/uploads/2/8/7/0/2870032/expanded_toolbox_nov_2010
.pdf
Trihub, B. L., McMinn, M. R., Buhrow Jr, W. C., & Johnson, T. F. (2010). Denominational Support
for Clergy Mental Health. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 38(2), 101-110.
Appendix A: Flyer/Poster Advertisement
Appendix B -Symptoms of Stress and Exhaustion Inventory
Check the symptoms of exhaustion you
have noticed lately in yourself.
Physical
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appetite change
headaches
tension
fatigue
insomnia
weight change
colds
muscle aches
digestive upsets
pounding heart
accident prone
teeth grinding
rash
restlessness
foot-tapping
finger-drumming
increased alcohol, drug,
tobacco use
Mental
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forgetfulness
dull senses
poor concentration
low productivity
negative attitude
confusion
lethargy
whirling mind
boredom
spacing out
negative self-talk
Emotional
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anxiety
frustration
the “blues”
mood swings
bad temper
nightmares
crying spells
irritability
“no one cares”
Reproduced from Structured exercises in stress management,
Volume I, by Nancy Loving Tubesing and Donald A. Tubesing,
editors, Whole Person Press, P. O. Box
3151, Duluth, MN 55803, 1995. Used with permission.
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depression
nervous laugh
worrying
easily discouraged
little joy
Relational
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isolation
intolerance
resentment
loneliness
lashing out
hiding
clamming up
lowered sex drive
nagging
distrust
fewer contacts with friends
lack of intimacy
using people
Spiritual
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emptiness
loss of meaning
doubt
unforgiving
martyrdom
looking for magic
loss of direction
needing to “prove” self
cynicism
apathy
Stress cards
Introduction
So far you’ve checked all the difficult things that have happened to you and the symptoms
you’ve experienced. If that’s all there were to say about stress it would be pretty depressing. But the
good news is that there are many ways to deal with stress. Talking about how to help ourselves can
give us a way out.
The stress cards that you are receiving contain positive things you can do to feel better, and
ways that your stress can get even worse.
•
Each person should cut out the cards and sort them into two rows.
•
In the top row put all the cards that make stress worse and in the bottom row put the
cards that help out.
•
Place the helping ideas that you already use into one pile.
•
Then pick one card that has something you’d like to learn how to use.
Self-help groups Session 5 leader guide and
discussion materials—page 7
“Not knowing is worse than knowing.”
Uncertainty
“Accentuate the positive.”
Personal and family strengths
“Burning the candle at both ends.”
Burn-out
“Whose fault is it, anyway?”
Blaming
“When the solution becomes a problem.”
Negative coping
“After all that has gone wrong, one more thing might break
the camel’s back.”
Stress pile-up
“The trick is to know when to accept the situation the way it
is and when to change it.”
Acceptance
“What you see is what you get.”
Definition of the situation
“I get by with a little help from my friends.”
An expression of social-emotional support
“Loosen up and let go.”
Tension reduction
“Nature’s way of managing stress.”
Fitness and diet
“If I don’t think about it, maybe it will go away.”
Denial
Definitions Burn-out
If you’re a leader or an in-charge person in your family or workplace—watch out for “burn- out.”
Not everything that goes wrong is your problem. It may be that you have to let some things or
people go at the moment. Taking care of yourself helps you to take care of others.
Personal and family strengths
A family that works as a team is better able to solve problems. A family that is flexible about who
does what can manage stress better. Men can help with child care and housework; women can help
with earning money outside the home. Such teamwork and flexibility will help your family make it
in spite of stress and trouble.
Uncertainty
We can cope with almost anything as long as we have the facts. This is true for losses in your work
life as well as personal life. Get as many facts as you can about what happened to you, then face
those facts head-on.
Stress pile-up
When you have a string of problems over time, watch out. Take care of yourself. Get support. With
stress pile-up, you will be more vulnerable to crisis. When there’s heavy traffic on a bridge, you
need to increase the supports underneath. Talk with your family and friends about the pile-up and
how you feel; reach out in the community, get information.
Negative coping
Coping with stresses and strains of life may lead toward behaviors or situations that make life even
more stressful. Taking one drink may help you relax at the end of the day, but taking several drinks
may only make the problem worse and get you into more trouble. Make sure that the coping you do
is constructive and actually helps your situation. Learn ways of constructive coping.
Blaming
Blaming yourself or other people is not a constructive way to deal with a problem. A problem may
be more stressful if you think it’s your fault. Forgive yourself and move on. We’re all human and
can make mistakes. Get what help you need so you don’t make the same mistake twice. If the
problem is caused elsewhere, decide what you can do about it and what you can’t. Face facts.
An expression of social- emotional support
Having the support of other people at any time, but particularly in difficult times, is very important.
It is the single most effective way of dealing with the stresses and strains of everyday life. Take the
time to learn how to reach out—to family members, friends, neighbors, or clergy.
Definition of the situation How you see the situation is important in affecting how much
stress you feel. A loss for one person may be “dreadful,” for another it is seen only as a minor
bother. Many things influence a person’s perceptions of a situation. Try to
look at your perceptions and determine why some situations are stressful for you.
Acceptance
Knowing when to act and when to accept a situation is a key factor in stress management.
Sometimes something happens that is unfortunate, but nothing can be done to change it. Even when
you get the facts, there is no hope. Continuing to push for a solution will only add to your stress; but
acceptance of the situation will lower the stress. In other situations, there is something you can do
about the problem. If so, get to work.
Denial
Avoiding a situation, or the fact that it exists, is a way to delay moving through a difficult time. Not
thinking about unpleasant things will not make them go away. Get more information and face the
facts so that you can decide what to do.
Fitness and diet
Physical fitness and good nutrition help our bodies withstand the stresses and strains of life. It’s
important to maintain both, especially during difficult times. Take some time to learn and think
about fitness and nutrition in your life.
Tension reduction
The biggest favor you can do for yourself is to recognize signs of tension in yourself—e.g.,
backaches, stiff neck or shoulders, insomnia, irritability, shortness of breath, or increase in smoking
or alcohol use. Be willing to face the signs and learn how to deal with them.
Appendix C-Intake Form
Personal Review: Individual Issues
Inappropriate Motivations
Why did you get into the ministry?
1. Who influenced you to get into the ministry?
2. What attracted you to the work of a minister?
3. What did you hope to achieve by becoming a minister?
4. What was your vision of ministry life when you started off?
I Ministry Calling
How do you understand your calling?
1. How did you experience your call to ministry?
2. Do you believe the call of ministry is higher than other callings?
Why?
3. Does your belief of ministry calling exclude others from the
work of the ministry?
4. Do you believe there is a distinct difference in calling between
the priesthood and laity?
•
218
I Unrealistic Expectations
Who do you believe you should be?
1. What expectations do others have of you as a minister?
2. \What expectations do you set for yourself in your ministry role?
3. How do your family/close friends experience the expectations you have
of them?
4. What is your attitude to success and failure in the ministry?
Personality
How does your style affect your ministry?
1. What is your basic personality style and how does it influence your
ministry role?
2. Describe your strengths and weaknesses and how they impact your
ministry effectiveness?
3. Describe your sense of security In your role as minister and how you
deal with potential threats to your identity and role?
4. Identify the types of people who tend to "stress" yon in your
ministry relationships and describe how you deal with them?
219
I Psychosomatic
Illness
What is your body's response to stress?
1. Identify psychosomatic symptoms that you have experienced and attempt
to describe their causes?
2. To what extent do you feel comfortable accepting stress and getting
medical help in this regard?
3. Describe the physical and mental fitness activities you conduct on a
regular basis?
I Interpersonal
Conflicts
o Hart (1984) observes that as a built in source of administration, other
people are a major cause of burnout, and yet people is what ministry is all about.
How do you handle difficult people issues?
I. What is your belief about expressing conflict in your role as a minister?
2. Describe your style of conflict handling?
3. How do you deal with conflict issues between yourself and members of
your congregation?
4. What is your biblical understanding of conflict in the life of a believer?
•
220
I Demographic Variables
How do I deal with where I am in my life?
a) Which variables have the greatest impact on your life at this time in
your ministry?
b) How are you currently dealing with these issues?
c) How can you move forward in managing these issues?
221
Running head: CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP
Personal Review: Organizational Issues
Role Conflict
1. Identify conflicting role demands in your ministry environment?
2. How are you dealing with these demands?
3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?
4. How do you move forward in this area?
I Role
Ambiguity
1. Which areas of ambiguity do you experience in your ministry?
2. How are you dealing with these uncertainties?
3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?
4. How do you move forward in this area?
Work Overload
I. To what extent and in which areas in which you feel overloaded?
2. How are you dealing with these overload demands?
3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?
4. How do you move forward in this area?
Responsibility for People
1. What issues cause you to feel responsible for people?
2. How are you dealing with these demands?
3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?
4. How do you move forward in this area?
223
36
CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP
Career Development
1. How satisfied are you with your ministry success and future?
2. How are you dealing with these career issues?
3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?
4. How do you move forward in this area?
(Adopted from Arumugam, 2003, p. 218)
37
CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP
38
CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP
39
Appendix D- Homework from Session 7Pick out a clergy, maybe in your neighborhood, not necessarily in your denomination,
and invite him or her out to lunch. It sounds so simple, doesn‘t it? Yet how often do we get so
caught up in the demands of the ministry that we neglect to ―love our neighbor, who happens
to be another clergy person. If you deliberately choose someone you don‘t know very well and
issue the invitation, you will discover both personal pleasure and a deep appreciation from the
one you invite. You will benefit from choosing some diversity in your lunch choice. If you work
in a community with a rabbi or imam, you might consider that as a possibility. You might also
consider someone who appears to be different theologically or from some other perspective. It
may also be someone in this group.
You are building a relationship that may well be beneficial in future ministry. The future
of most moderate to small churches is going to be in building coalitions with other similar
churches for common ministry in the community. That happens best when you have built a
relationship before the specific ministry is planned.
CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP
40
Appendix E- Self-Care Resources
Clergy Peer Support Group (free)- Fairfield Christian Church Tuesdays 7-8:30 PM (this
is hypothetical, has not started yet but I imagine it starting out after my first group terminates).
My Groups:
Alex Dolin (me), LPC. Individual and group therapy. AlexDolinLPC.com 740-590-3598.
Clergy Self-Care and Support Group. Cross Pointe Church. Tuesdays 7-8:30PM, or
Thursday 6-7:30PM (you get a discounted rate for repeating.)
Websites:
(Many of our activities and more! ) McCutchan, S. (2010). Toolbox Items. : Presbytery Pastoral
Care Network. Retrieved from:
http://www.pastoralcarenetwork.org/uploads/2/8/7/0/2870032/expanded_toolbox_nov_2010.pdf
Help for hurting pastors - http://www.findthedivine.com/articles11.html
Resources for wounded pastors - http://christians-inrecovery.org/Issues_PastorsPros_HowCIRCanHelp
Clergy Recovery Network- http://www.clergyrecovery.com/?page_id=130
Tips:
- Go back to your intake form, homework assignments and see your contracted goals
from termination session. Realize the growth you made and continue taking steps forward.
- Stay in contact with your group members for accountability and growth.
-Join one of the clergy support groups or continue therapy with me or one or my groups.
CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP
41
Group Proposal
Grading Rubric
Item
Points
Points Given/Comments
Possible
Introduction
30
30
Sessions Outline
40
40
 Lists specific goal(s) for each session
 Specific actions under each goal
 Supplies
 Room setup and rationale
Marketing & Screening
25
20




Theory
40
40
 Identifies theory of counseling to be used
 Explains rational
 Describes how theory informs goals
Consent
30
30
 Develops informed consent acceptable to state boards
Outcomes
30
28
 Develops survey that measures identified goals
Problem Solving
40
40
 Correctly addresses each problem situation
References
5
2 (You needed a separate






Describes group
Lists needs and reasons
Offers local/agency stats and/or cites research
Describe intended audience
Describes screening questions/procedures
Describes de-selection criteria
Developed flyer with information
page labled “References”
Supports all assertions with references
References from professional sources only
References < 10 yrs
APA/Writing
done in APA format.
10
4 Proofread papers and
CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP



Total
42
study APA format.
APA format to include running head, subheadings,
page #, font
Writing cogent and succinct
Writing free of grammatical errors
250
234