DEFINE “BULLYING”
Negative behavior that is
repeated and is
intentional by someone
who thinks he/she has
more power (older, bigger,
smarter, better than…)
1
TYPES OF BULLYING
• Exclusion
• Put downs
• Intimidation
• Unwanted physical contact
2
TEASING VS BULLYING
TEASING: Likeable, playful, pat on back,
sign you are liked/accepted, POSITIVE
BULLYING: Assault, power trip,
destroying, intimidating, cowardly,
attack, NEGATIVE
3
HOW ARE BULLIES
DIFFERENT?
• 60-70% never involved w/bullying
• Starts at early age
• Hurts him/herself
• Become Antisocial Adults
• They think others are hostile
• They may be desperate
4
HOW TARGETS
ARE DIFFERENT?
• More sensitive, cautious, quieter
• More anxious or nervous
• Avoid confrontation; cry when attacked
• May not do well in gym or front of class
• Submission when picked on
• Smaller, overweight, skinny, old clothes
5
Bully vs.Target
• Bullying hurts
• Social isolation most damaging to bully
and to target
• Leads to loneliness
• Leads to disliking school
• Leads to depression
6
PROBLEM
Too many students
are being bullied!
7
CAUSES OF PROBLEM
• Because bully can get away with it!
• Bully may want to feel superior
• Bully may want the attention
• Bully may want payback
• Bully may have been bullied
• Bully may want to feel accepted
• Bully is not liked
8
PEOPLE INVOLVED
• Bully
• Target
• ByStander
GOALS
To have ByStanders Become UpStanders
To have Targets prepared
9
SOLUTIONS TO PROBLEM
• Train ByStanders to be UpStanders
• Train Targets
This is what we will do today!
10
How ByStanders Can Help
S-A-F-E
S - STOP bully, if you can (#1 concern is SAFETY for everyone
A - Get ADULT quickly
F - FACE UP to the bully
E - EMPOWER target by siding with and helping where possible
11
Why ByStanders Don’t Help
• “It’s none of my business.”
• Fear of getting hurt or becoming victim
• Feel powerless to stop bully
• Doesn’t like the target
• Believes target deserves it
• Don’t want to draw attention to self
• Fear revenge
• Afraid to tell adults
• Don’t know what to do
TV: What would you do?
12
ByStander May Experience
• Pressure to participate in the bullying
• Fear of speaking to anyone about it
• Powerless to stop bullying
• Fear of being victimized also
• Fear of helping target or associating with
• Guilt for not helping
13
POTENTIAL TARGETS
Know your buttons:
• hair color
• size: small, overweight, skinny
• cries easily, looks scared
• shy, quiet
• racial/ethnic difference
• wrong crowd, wrong clothes, etc.
14
WHEN BUTTON PUSHED
• Ignore bully
• Try to diffuse with humor
• Speak up to defend yourself
• If possible, leave area immediately
Remember: you give control if you whimper or
cry.
Doing nothing means that you win and they
lose because you stayed in control! 15
PLAN FOR NEXT TIME
• It is most important to be SAFE!!
• Winning is NOT who is best at put
downs
• Winning is taking care of your own
emotions
16
BE ASSERTIVE
SHAKE HANDS
1. Passive
2. Weak
3. Assertive
4. Pushy
5. Aggressive
17
BULLY MAGNET
• Head down
• Shoulders slumped
• Face scared
• Eyes down
• Voice weak
18
MORE ASSERTIVENESS
• Look directly at bully
• Shoulders back
• Head up
• Speak with strength
19
BULLY-PROOFING
G-I-F-T
GET AWAY
IGNORE if possible
STAND UP for yourself
TELL adult
20
REMEMBER
S-A-F-E
G-I-F-T
21