RESTITUTION SCRIPTS FOR
PARENTS AND TEACHERS
Abstract
These scripts have been compiled by Kelly Milne, Guidance Counselor at SSES.
If you have any questions about these scripts or you would like more
information about Restitution please contact your school Guidance Counselor
or myself Joan Mayhew
Joan Mayhew
Student Services Consultant
Evergreen School Division
Cell #: 204 641 5372
Restitution Scripts for Parents
Introduction
Restitution Beliefs –“Creating the conditions for a person to fix their mistake and return to the
group strengthened.” Diane Gossen
Our goal is to help students/children to do things because it is the “right thing to do”;
strengthening within themselves.
Restitution is about inviting a person to fix their mistakes, not forcing them to do so.
Students/children will learn to make more positive choices in their lives if they truly
want to repair their mistakes.
How we say the script is very important: be sure that your body language and tone are
kind and caring
Remember to practice and not give up-it takes time to learn something new. We all
make mistakes and we can learn from them.
How do we learn? We learn by meeting the needs listed below:
Love and Belonging –we want to be liked, we are socialable, we are caring, we join
groups
Power (Mastery) – we like to be good at what we do, we get upset if we make mistakes
Fun – we like joking, laughing, games, we want to enjoy work and learning
Freedom – we want choices, not so influenced by others, like independence
Survival – we need food, water, clothing, rest, shelter, safety, health
When someone makes a mistake, meeting their needs in a negative way we want to help them:
Recognize that we all make mistakes, it is how we learn
Understand that they could have done worse, never shaming them
Realize that we are here to guide them through the problem solving process by
recognizing the person they want to be and encouraging them to fix their mistake
Revisit their plan to ensure success and to make sure support is in place to help them
become the person they want to be
Diane Gossen
Script One: Mistakes
“Tell me about what happened today. How did you meet all of your needs?” (Use
age appropriate “My Day” attachment)
Fill in each needs section with a positive or deep way they met their needs that day
When you reach the section that asks how they met their needs in a cheap way, talk
about their mistake that day
“Tell me about the part of your day that didn’t go so well. It sounds like you made
a mistake. We all make mistakes, even parents, friends, coaches and teachersEveryone makes mistakes! Do you agree?”
Here you are helping them realize that we all make mistakes
“Do you think you could have done worse?”
If it was a rude comment or a physical altercation, we help them see that they could
have done much worse.
We want them to see they can fix their mistake and not feel shame
“It was a mistake. It sounds like you understand that. Let’s talk about what kind
of person you want to be.”
They may say they want to be a funny person, or caring, or kind.
“Can we work together to fix your mistake so you can be the person you want to
be?”
Continue working through the sheet
Develop a plan that is achievable
Revisit as often as you need to
You can use the Restitution Triangle (see attachment-Restore the Child)
Script Two: Getting back to a Job or Chore
If you don’t _________________________, I have to ___ (consequence) _______.
I would rather_______________________.(fix it so we both get what we need)
If you don’t clean your room, I have to say no to a friend coming over. I would rather
you clean your room so you can play with your friend.
Script Three: Helping someone re-examine what they are doing
What do you want/need right now?
What are you doing to get what you want/need?
Is what you are doing helping or hurting? Are you getting what you
want/need?
What is your plan to get what you want/need?
With any script, remember to never force someone to fix their mistake! It is
always an invitation.
If they are not ready at the time of your conversation to fix their mistake, tell
them you care about them and will revisit is again. (In ten minutes, in an hour,
the next day)
Always follow through and admit your own mistakes if you feel you have made
one in how you dealt with a problem or situation. Role modelling is an amazing
and powerful way to teach others (see attachment-self restitution)
Diane Gossen
SELF-RESTITUTION
1. I don’t like how I am talking to you.
2. My part of the problem is…..
 I had information you did not have
 I was tired and trying to go too fast
 I was not clear on what I wanted
 My picture was different than yours.
3) Next time I will………….
Diane Gossen