Emotional
intelligence
LPCH Coaches
February 8, 2016
Emotional Intelligence
•
•
•
•
•
Self awareness
Self regulation
Motivation
Empathy
Social Skill
Goleman, What Makes a Leader?, Harvard Business
Review 1998
Self awareness
• I can recognize my emotions as I experience
them
• I know my strengths and weaknesses
• I ask people for feedback on what I do well
an how I can improve
www.mindtools.com
Emotion Regulation
Gross, 2013
Tools
• 360 feedback
• Observation with verbatim recording
• Videotaping
• Prompted feedback
• Temperament, strengths inventories
Tools
• Mindfulness exercises
• Written reflection or coached debriefing
• Critical incidents
• Personal SWOT analysis
• Values
• Triggers
• Locus of control, sphere of influence
Empathy
Ask
• Ideas
• Impact
• Feelings
• Expectations
Trust
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Talk straight
Demonstrate respect
Create transparency
Right wrongs
Show loyalty
Deliver results
Trust
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
Get better
Confront reality
Clarify expectations
Practice accountability
Listen first
Keep commitments
Extend trust
Covey, The 13 Behaviors of a High Trust
Leader
Mindset
• Learn to hear your fixed mindset voice
• Recognize you have a choice
• Talk back with a growth mindset
• Act on the growth mindset
Carol Dweck -http://mindsetonline.com/changeyourmindset/firststeps/inde
x.html
Consider
Observed
Behavior
Observer’s
Interpretation
Feedback
Interpretations
“I barely know what’s going on in my own head, and
I have special access to that.”
Charles Dwyer, PhD
Influencing People Skills Lab
LPCH, July 2009
Consider
Observed
Behavior
Observer’s
Interpretation
Feedback
Consider
Observed
Behavior
Observer’s
Interpretation
Feedback
Consider
Observed
Behavior
Observer’s
Interpretation
Feedback
Untangling Feedback
• Assume good intentions
• Describe behavior
• Explain the impact of behavior
• Take responsibility for your impressions &
interpretations
• Ask. Don’t guess at intentions or internal states
• Acknowledge gaps between intentions, internal
states and outward impressions
How to resist feedback
• Explain
• Defend
• Rationalize
• Deny
• Ignore
• Patronize
• Discredit
• Crumble
• Attack
Tips
• Listen without interrupting
• Acknowledge, consider
• Restate, summarize
• Ask clarifying questions
• Write it down
• Do not explain, deny, defend…