How to Build
Relationships for
Results
1
Introductions
◘
Find an object in the room
◘
Capture its characteristics
Well I’m really _____
because ...
2
Influencing Questionnaire
◘ Read Instructions – Page 9
◘ Complete Part 1 – Pages 9 & 10
◘ Read Instructions – Page 10
◘ Complete Part 2 – Pages 10 - 13
3
Influencing – Your Big Deliverable
◘ Making a presentation / recommending
a strategy
◘ Problem solving / decision-making
◘ Reviewing progress
◘ Lobbying a decision maker
◘ Causing need for your products and
services
◘ Coaching / mentoring
◘ Responding to a memo or email
4
Influencing Others to:
◘ Make a decision
◘ Change an option
◘ Modify a behavior
5
Star Performers at Bell Labs
Harvard Study

Top engineers & scientists

Some stood out

Cognitive & social,
standard test – IQ etc. no
differences

Developed core
competencies in
interpersonal skills
6
Five Major
Influencing Competencies
◘ Interpersonal Awareness
◘ Critical Information Seeking
◘ Concern for Impact
◘ Rational Persuasion
◘ Strategic Influencing
7
Definition of Influencing
Influencing is an interactive process
which enables us to build relationships
with people to bring about a change of
ideas, actions and behaviors without
using force or authority.
8
Essential Influencing Skills
9
Essential Influencing Skills
10
Essential Influencing Skills
11
Essential Influencing Skills
12
Essential Influencing Skills
13
Eight Things to Remember
About Your Behavior
1.
Behavior is everything you say and do
2.
Behaviors are learned – many are habitual
3.
People observe ALL your behavior ALL the time
4.
Conclusions are based on your behavior
5.
Behavior breeds behavior
6.
You can CHOOSE your behavior
7.
Your behavior will help or hinder
8.
Verbal and non-verbal behavior must
compliment one another
14
Skill Set 1 - Wavelength
◘ Consciously
using body
language
15
How a message is delivered
◘ _____% Body language
◘ _____% Vocal tone
◘ _____% Words
16
How a message is delivered
◘ 55 % Body language
◘ 38 % Vocal tone
◘ 7 % Words
17
Reading Body Language
18
Reading Body Language
19
Reading Body Language
20
Reading Body Language
21
Reading Body Language
22
Reading Body Language
23
Reading Body Language
24
Reading Body Language
25
Reading Body Language
26
Reading Body Language
27
How To Win At Body Language
 Facial expression and
head movement
 Gesturing with hands
and arms
 Rest of body including
legs
28
Skill Set 1 - Wavelength
◘ Consciously
using body
language
◘ Avoiding jargon
◘ Being open
about your
feelings
◘ Open-minded
observing
behaviors
29
Observing Verbal Behaviors
PULLING
PUSHING
idea
generating
behavior
Asking for ideas
Giving ideas
expanding
behavior
Developing/
Supporting other
people’s ideas
Disagreeing/
objecting
Asking questions
Giving answers/
explanations
qualifying
behavior
30
Skill Set 2 - Questioning
◘ Asking
open-ended
questions
◘ Asking one
question at a
time
◘ Making
suggestions
31
Solve the Riddle
There is a green house,
Inside the green house there is a white house,
Inside the white house there is a red house,
Inside the red house there are lots of babies.
What am I?
32
Solve the Riddle
I never was, am only to be.
No-one ever saw me, nor ever will.
And yet, I am the confidence and hope of all
who live and breathe on this terrestrial ball.
Who am I?
33
Getting to Yes
Suggesting Ideas
(Pulling)
Telling Ideas
(Pushing)
Likelihood of
Agreement
Likelihood of
Objection
42%
18%
25%
39%
34
Three Key Strategies
◘ Convert a statement into a question
◘ Provide choice in your proposal
◘ Ask for impact as a course of action
35
Skill Set 3 - Understanding
◘ Listening
without
interruption
a) hear
b) understand
c) interpret
◘ Paraphrasing
36
Understanding – Its Meaning
◘ A contract between two mates
37
Your Influencing Session
 Preparation
6 min.
 A influences B, observed by C
8 min.
 Feedback to A from C
5 min.
 B influences C, observed by A
8 min.
 Feedback to B from A
5 min.
 C influences A, observed by B
8 min.
 Feedback to C from B
5 min.
 Total Time
45 min.
38
Skill Set 4 – Conflict Handling
◘ Surfacing
objections
◘ Searching for
disagreement
and resistance
◘ Constructively
disagreeing
39
Skill Set 4 – Conflict Handling
 “If you argue and
rankle and contradict
you may achieve a
victory sometimes;
but it will be an empty
victory because you
will never get the
other person’s
good will.”
- Ben Franklin
40
Skill Set 5 - Agreement
◘ Establishing
needs and
wants
◘ Using benefits
◘ Using one
reason at a
time
41
Skill Set 5 - Agreement
 It takes two to
make an
agreement
 Both parties must
be committed to
making it work
42
The Learning Pyramid
The
Learning
Organization
Learning in Groups/Teams
One-to-One Learning Relationships
Individual Learners
43
Learning
The
Learning
Process
44
A Loop in the Spiral
1.
Experiencing
2.
Reviewing/
Reflecting
4.
Planning
3.
Concluding
45
A Loop in the Spiral
1.
Experiencing
4.
Planning
46
A Loop in the Spiral
1.
Experiencing
Jumping
to a
Conclusion
3.
Concluding
47
A Loop in the Spiral
2.
Reviewing/
Reflecting
3.
Concluding
48
A Loop in the Spiral
1.
Experiencing
2.
Reviewing/
Reflecting
4.
Planning
3.
Concluding
49
Complete your Profile
 Turn to page 6 & mark
your answers on Part
1 score sheet
 Turn to page 8 & mark
your answers on Part
2 score sheet
50
The Influencing Action Plan
51
Complete your Profile
◘ Influencing is an interactive
process which enables us to
build relationships with people
to bring about a change of
ideas, actions and behaviors
without using force or authority.
52