Why Choosing Our Authentic Happiness Is Not Selfish
Author: Dr. Jennelle, PhD Psychologist & Relationship Advisor
My “personal revolution" as I've termed it, began in January 2009 - I know what you're
thinking, New Years Resolution Time! Actually, the time of year was really more of a
coincidence for me than anything else. I owe the start of my journey to The Biggest
Loser. As an avid fan, I sat down on the couch with my boyfriend at the time, each of us
with a pint of ice cream in hand, ready to watch the season premier. Within 5 minutes of
the show starting, Bob Harper (amazing trainer) came on the screen and said "The
Biggest Loser has helped so many people over the years, and has been an inspiration
to millions both on the show and at home" (this is where the yelling started) "but it
doesn't mean ANYTHING if you're going to sit at home on the couch, eating ice cream
out of the container!!!" Mid-mouthful my boyfriend and I turned, stared at each other,
and immediately dropped the spoons. I woke up the next day and signed up for the
Biggest Loser Club (BLC) Online. A decision that changed my life forever.
Over the 5 months that followed I began eating healthier, working out regularly, and
learning a lot about myself. And by May, I had lost 30 lbs while gaining some much
needed confidence and insight. I could do hard things! This realization lead me to want
to share my experience and what I had learned; it was ultimately the totality of my
journey in 2009 that made me begin a career in health and wellness, helping others
reach their own personal wellness goals.
But then, it got much bigger.
Losing the weight was my personal catalyst, but it lead to so much. For my entire life, all
25 years I had lived until 2009, I struggled with my weight. I wasn’t comfortable in my
own skin. I held myself back from trying things that I felt my weight infringed upon. I
never took risks. I was afraid of everything. Yet I was social, extraverted, happy, and an
all around well-adjusted girl in so many other ways. But when I finally took control of my
lifelong struggle and kicked its pathetic little butt to the curb - I became unstoppable.
Driven. Passionate. Fearless. I thought, if I can overcome this challenge, one that has
held me back for so long, what CAN’T I do?
And so began an incredibly purposeful life. Since 2009, I...
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Received my Masters degree in psychology from a well-respected university
Became a college professor, teaching college-level psychology courses
Received my Doctorate in psychology from a well-respected university
Secured an ideal job before my last year of graduate school in a field outside of
my studies
Became certified to teach three group fitness formats
Ended a 10 year relationship that was no longer fulfilling my wants and needs
Found the kind of love I wished for as a child and built a life around my great love
Began co-parenting three amazing children
Bought a beautiful home
10) Bought a new vehicle (from the very first mile)
11) Paid off my student loans in totality
12) Helped hundreds reach their wellness goals
13) Supported countless men & women choosing nontraditional paths to happiness
Today, as a Relationship Advisor offering support, guidance, and advice on the matters
of heart that matter most; I celebrate those that are choosing a big, bold, beautiful life. I
see people lead with their hearts every day; I hear people speak the truth in their hearts
with every breath; I watch people change the world because of leading with and
speaking from their hearts. People who are not sitting back, coasting along, without
purpose or intent. People who are actively pursuing their dreams - whatever they may
be. People who are leading by example.
And this is the very reason why we must choose our authentic happiness. It is not
selfish. It is not ‘wrong’. In fact, nothing is more right.
When we choose to speak our truth and when we chase that which lights up our soul,
we are paving the way for those who have not yet realized they can do the same.
There is someone out there - whether your child, partner, friend, or a stranger - who
needs your journey to be their reason. Someone who is stuck, unsure, doubtful, and
afraid - who needs to see that it gets better. Someone who has no one else to guide
them - who needs you to be their North Star.
Choosing a greater happiness - whether it be in a partner, career, location, or lifestyle is as much for you as it is for the greater good of humanity. You may never know whose
life you will impact, but by living your truth you will undoubtedly change lives.
So when you’re questing if you should, if it’s what’s best for everyone, if the hard, messy
parts will ever outweigh the pain…remember that nothing worth having in this life ever
comes easily. Yes, your struggle is very real, but it’s also completely worth it.
I write this because I want you to know that you don’t have to wait, you can start to
create the spark that changes every day hereafter. Find the support that you need. The
accountability that pushes you just a little bit farther. The voice of a real person who
made big, messy choices to build a better life. Terrifying bold, risky moves, without
holding back. I want you to know that it’s ok to change your mind. I would not be where I
am today if I had not discovered that very truth along my journey. So change it, over
and over and over again. You are always one step closer to the best version of yourself.
And as I always say...
*you’re no good for anyone else unless you are the best version of yourself *