GE TTIN G TO WIN -WIN
Kim Mirabelli
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Introduction
Conflict style assessment
Sources of conflict
Conflict resolution styles
What is win-win?
Moving from positions to
interests
Group activity
Wrap-up
Apple Story
Teach Peace blog, September 24, 2008
http://teach-peace.blogspot.com/2008/09/getting-to-win-win.html
What is Conflict?
• Conflict is constructive
• Results in clarification
• Serves as a release to pent-up emotions and stress
• Understanding of each other’s needs
• Use the conflict to build cooperation and trust
• Conflict is destructive
• Diverts energy
• Polarizes groups and deepens differences
• Parties take ‘either - or’ positions, believing their way is right and
develop negative feelings toward each other
View differences of opinion as opportunities to
learn rather than obstacles to overcome
Individual Activity
Conflict Style
Score Your Assessment
Score Your Assessment
Sources of Conflict
Short-term pressures versus long-term goals
Differing perceptions, values, cultural norms
Ambiguous jurisdictions; lack of clarity
Competition for limited resources
Needs such as power, status, ego, recognition, self-worth
Parochial and regional attitudes
Change - some not wanting to let go of the old; others
moving too quickly
• Other sources
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Conflict Resolution Styles
Win/Win
(collaborating)
Compromising
(win with
concessions)
Avoidance
(no deal)
Competing
(win-lose)
Accommodating
(lose-win)
What is Win-Win?
• One outcome to a conflict
• When a conflict is resolved such that both (or all)
people involved get their needs met
• Mutual benefit in all human interactions
• Requires moving past people's "positions" (I must
have the apple!) and getting to their actual
"needs/interests" (I need to give my friend a
birthday gift)
• Cooperation; not competition
• A better way; a higher way
Moving from Positions to Interests
• Be
vocal about your desire to find a solution that benefits all
parties
• Be clear about your own needs and interests, rather than your
position
• Discuss how important the solution is to the party
• Do not answer stated positions by giving your own position
• Reframe the problem so that you can emphasize compatibility of
interests or a possibility of reaching some gain
• Offer several different positions to consider than may respond
to the interests of all parties
• Emphasize that all options deserve further examination in order
to see how they satisfy the interests of parties
Activity
Create a Sample Conflict
Mine
Position
Interests
Theirs
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We encounter conflicts everyday
… some small; some big
Conflicts can be constructive and
destructive
There are various conflict
resolution styles but we want to
try to achieve win-win
Win-win, or collaboration, will
result in each side having their
interests/needs met; not just
their position