Step I – Game Recognition

Step I – Game Recognition
All of life is a Game
Played inside of Frames
Within Frames of Frames.
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Games ― Action Sets
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External Games
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Behaviors, Actions, Relationships, etc.
Cultural Roles, rituals, ceremonies, etc.
Internal Games
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Mental Behavior, thinking, valuing, etc.
Emotional Behavior, feelings, emotions,
valuing, appreciating, etc.
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We cannot not play “Games.”
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Every state, behavior, skill, etc. plays
out some game.
And, since we are always in some state,
we are always playing some game.
What Frame Games are you playing
now?
What Frame Games do you want to
play.
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Frames ―
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The ideas, concepts, beliefs, understanding,
decisions, models, paradigms, assumptions,
terms, etc. that set up the Games, the Rules
of the Games, Payoffs, cues, etc.
Every mental structure involving words,
symbols, conceptual models, etc. establishes
a frame as in “frame of reference.”
This leads to various “Frames of Mind.”
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We always play
“Frame Games.”
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We play both good games and bad
games.
Why?
Because we are born with a brain that
creates mental frames.
Don’t forget― that are constructed
and can be re-constructed.
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Game Detection
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The Name of the Game is to Name the
Game.
First we detect the Frame Games that
we are and have been playing.
Only when we know what we are up
against, can we intelligently transform
it.
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Game Detection ―
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What Games have you played today
around food, eating, exercising, etc.?
Have you enjoyed those Games?
Have those Games served you well?
Have they enhanced your life?
Have they empowered you as a person?
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With what do you play
Fear and Panic Games?
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Public Speaking
Authority Figures
Confronting a friend
Criticism by a
colleague
Learning something
new.
Entering
Relationships
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Dogs
Cats
Heights
Water
Elevators
Mathematics
Dating
Stuttering
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Detection Game Exercise
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Identify the specific behaviors within it.
Gauge the intensity of the pattern.
Why is it negative?
What is the positive payoff of it?
How do you perceive that payoff as
positive?
What pattern/s would you prefer to use.
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Figure 1:1 The Detection Game
Intentions — Desired Outcomes
Rules of the Game
Game Description & Payoffs
Person
Person
Game Cues
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Detection Game Summarized
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The Name and Description of the Game.
The Rules of the Game: How is it set
up? Who plays the game? When?
The Cues of the Game: What triggers
the Game? How do you know when to
_______?
The Payoff of the Game? Benefits?
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The Neuro-Semantics of Fear
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The meaning making venture─
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We make meaning every day.
Meaning cannot exist in the world without a
meaning-maker.
To have meaning, there must be a
meaning maker.
To transform our “fears,” we have to
transform the meaning we give those
referent experiences.
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The First Way to Make Meaning─
By connecting or linking things
together.
1.
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What have you linked to fear?
What does fear, anxiety, being uptight,
etc. mean to you?
What comes to mind when you think
about these meanings?
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The Second Way to Make Meaning─
2.
By creating mental frames or contexts.
(By making our ideas a frame-of-reference and
then a frame of mind- See Figure 1:2.)
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First there is a referent experience.
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Then we represent it… link it with thought or
feeling.
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Then we repeat the representation until it
becomes our Frame of Reference.
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Then our frame becomes our Frame of Mind.
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Figure 1:2
“The Matrix of Frames”
Within which we “live and
move and have our being”
It becomes our internal world
or universe. It makes up the
higher frames that make up
our “mind” and that sets up
the Games that we play.
Frameworks
Frames of Mind
Frames of Refrerence
Internal
Representation
Person -
Referent Experience
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As goes your Frames―
So goes your Games.
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Our Frames operate as self-organizing
attractors that create our sense of reality.
They send commands to the nervous system.
That’s why you feel “bad” out of a fear frame.
Yet they are only as valid, useful, etc. as they
provide a good map for navigating our
territory.
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New Games Require New Frames
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Need a new game? Get a new frame.
Want to change an old game? Step
aside and quality control it.
What frame of mind do you need about
threats and supposed dangers in order
to move forward with courage, faith,
optimism, etc.?
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Neuro-Semantics of Danger―
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Physical dangers
Emotional dangers
Spiritual dangers
Mental dangers
Interpersonal dangers
Painful experiences teaches us
To be careful, to be alert.
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The Games of Fear―
1.
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5.
The home movie horror show
The Stephen King horror show
“Watch Out” disasters are ahead!”
Imagining “Worst Case Scenario”
The meta-fear game – fear your fear
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Stop the Deception Game
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The Old Game – Think of “Fears” as if
it is Real. Talk as if it is a Thing or
Entity.
The New Game – Think and speak
about fear as a way of thinking, feeling
and acting.
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As a verb, “fear” does not refer to a thing.
Do not nominalize it – freeze the verb.
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Deadly Danger of the DSMIV
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DSM IV, Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual for mental, emotional and
personality disorders.
It is the Bible for the American
Psychiatric Association and quoted by
psychologists and therapist.
It is the “label” book- uggghhhh!!!
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William Glasser, MD
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Reality Therapy
He would not allow his patients to use
any psychiatric term as a noun.
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Depressing
Panicking
Fearing
Anxietying
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Secrets of Facing Fear
There is a Pattern―
 It’s just Fear.
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It’s just the old Fight/Flight Response.
It’s just an Emotion.
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It may be accurate; it may not.
It may be useful; it may not.
As an emotion welcome it and explore
it but it isn’t the final truth.
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How to Play the Frame Games
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A “game” refers to a set of actions and interactions that allow you to structure your energies
to attain desired outcome.
The Game Rules set up the structure, form and
nature of the game: when, who with, why and
how to score.
Game Frames – The games that we play arise
from our frames of mind.
We learn games best by trying them on and
giving ourselves a chance to learn the ropes.
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How to Play Frame Games
1.
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Get an initial impression about the game.
Begin playing and experimenting.
Begin filling in some of the details.
Continually renew your focus and
awareness on the objective of the game.
Have fun as you play.
Keep aiming for mastery.
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Worksheet #1 Toxic Game
1.
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Game description
Game players
Game value
Game triggers
Game cues & clues
The rules of the game
Name the game.
The preferred game
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Worksheet #2 New Game
1.
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Desired game
Game players
Current frame games
Game evidence
Game motivations & payoff
Game description
Game initiation
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Frame Game Questions
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Who are the players of the game?
How healthy, productive, useful, etc.?
What are the hooks that pull you in?
What are some of the game cues?
What are the rules of the game?
What would you like to call this game?
What’s the agenda in the game?
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Frame Game Questions
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What’s the emotional intensity of the
game?
What are the leverage points in the
game?
What new Frame Game would you
prefer to play?
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Personalized Game Plan
1.
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No longer tolerated games…
New games I will play from now on…
What Frames of Mind will support my
new plan?
What resources will I need?
Who will I give permission to hold me
accountable?
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