LOSS
In 2014, I had wore all black. Mourned the loss of my twenties of course!!!
Went on a personal wine tour, throughout wine country north, Niagara of course
(not Okanagan, a place, I wasn’t heartbroken).
Sat there with a bottle or 10, days on end. Writing, working.
Not unlike in Revelstoke, while we were overlooking from the ski jump trail.
Golden. British Coumbia, Rogers Pass, deep snow. Giggling like a little school girl
(you were). Couldn’t get enough, until he did. Not cool.
Buntzen lake too? Oh wait, yes. Her too. Loyal, tried, until she didn’t, then whatever,
fair game in youth, not now, older, experience. What do you take me for, retarded?
Harrison hot springs, everywhere. Tried. Romance of travel, work, busy schedules.
Hard work, long hours, not all glamour.
MOURNED MY LOSS
Moved on. Met someone more my age, mentally. Experienced. My type. Fun! Similar
interests.
Never content. Obviously.
Havn’t found “her” replacement yet. Still looking.
I don’t like loss. I have a specific, sad, yet my own way of getting through it. How it
feels, in depth. The pain. I just keep it to myself, until you ask, or see.
But this time, like many, no privacy, against my rights, human life, and free will.
Stages – eventually it fades to a memory I dislike, hate (HATRED). Rather think
about or create new memories, right? Yes, your words, life. I didn’t disagree.
Take a lady like that back? I’d consider putting her to work, if its profitable, being
her friend, depending on the damage emotionally, what she did or why, and or not.
As long as she didn’t see me in that way ever again and stayed loyal to her new
interest. I don’t go down that road. Ever.
Better left forgotten in the past.
See you never, or? Amicable. My goals ignored. Sacrifice, for what? Another man?
Not my choice.
Feeling for those dead? Sounds so harsh, but yes.
I respect – but that’s something I don’t speak about. It can offend – actually me,
easily.
Taking lives is something I am against.
When did I ever lie, spread rumors, control, manipulate, destroy a family, a career,
someone’s health or life? Not yet, not about too, not my game, that’s you. – Nicholas
Now to loose someone you love for whatever reason.
Show emotion, get called a faggot? End up what now? Out with another lady, in bed
later, getting called a faggot while eating down on her pussy.
Is that borderline lesbian, actually taking her feelings into account, caring,
compassionate, supportive – forget the sex. What about what’s important?
Everything else.