EXPLICIT INSTRUCTIONS
7652510_v1_0716
© 2016 Goliath BV, Vijzelpad 80, NL 8051 KR Hattem.
© 2016 Goliath Games, LLC, 3701 West Plano Parkway, Suite 100, Plano, TX
75075. Colors and contents may vary from those illustrated.
Made in Guangdong, China.
www.goliathgames.us
© 2016 Uncle Andy Toys, Inc.
Made under license from Uncle Andy Toys and East West Innovation.
Distributed under license in Australia by Crown & Andrews Pty Ltd, 19-21 Euston
Street, Rydalmere NSW 2116 Australia. www.crownandandrews.com
C r e ate d By A n dy B r ec km a n
Risa Breckman LCSW, Nancy Ward
MSW, LCSW, Morgan Seawright EdS, CAS, Ian Felkel
LCSW, Susan L. Ferrula LCSW, Eric Iarossi LPC, Prof.
Paul J. Bertsch, Tami Frick, Dr. Kathleen Hedden PhD,
Gus Mobley MSW, Fred DiCristoaro MSW, LSW, Dr.
Donna Leone-Carver PhD, and a few who, for obvious
reasons, wished to remain anonymous.
THANKS TO OUR PANEL OF EXPERTS
If you think it is WORSE than a root canal, but NOT AS
BAD as being locked out of your house while naked,
indicate C.
If you think it is WORSE than all three, indicate D.
Drumroll please.
Catching your parents having sex has a Misery Rating
of 25.5, so the answer is: B: BETWEEN DISASTROUS HAIRCUT AND ROOT CANAL
If you GUESSED CORRECTLY, you win the card. It remains,
face up, in your LANE OF PAIN and your turn is then over.
If you GUESSED INCORRECTLY, the player to your left
can “steal” the card by guessing where it fits in his/
her LANE OF PAIN. If that player misses, play proceeds
clockwise around the table with each player guessing
until someone guesses correctly and wins the card.
If you make it all the way around the table, and back to
the person who originally read the card, and NONE OF
THE PLAYERS GUESSED CORRECTLY, well then… you
guys obviously suck. Place the card in the discard pile.
As additional cards are won, the gaps between the
cards in your LANE OF PAIN narrow and the game
becomes more challenging. 6 ASSUME THE WORST
When considering a SHITTY SITUATION, you should
assume the WORST POSSIBLE, yet STILL PLAUSIBLE,
scenario. If a card says “Phone falls in toilet”, don’t assume
that you fished it out, did the whole rice thing, and
miraculously it still works. No. Your phone is ruined, all
your data is lost, and you don’t have insurance. Way to go.
7 HOW TO WIN
The first player to accumulate 10 shitty event cards wins.
Congratulations—you’re the King of Shit Mountain!
H AT E R E A D I N G R U l es ?
So do we. Find instructional how-to play videos at:
www.shithappensgame.com
1 WTF AM I TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE?
Be the best at ranking shitty events from the least shitty
to the absolute shittiest.
2 WHAT’S IN THE BOX?
200 SHITTY SITUATION CARDS; each card depicts a
shitty event that has happened, or COULD happen.
As you’ll see, some of the
situations on the cards are pretty
minor (like a bee sting), and some
of them are more problematic
(like finding a dead hooker in your
bed). Each card has been ranked
on our Misery Index.
3 THE MISERY INDEX
The Misery Index is our ranking system that runs
from 1 to 100.
You may be wondering: how did we rank the
cards? Well, we didn’t. We asked a panel of serious,
highly qualified grown-ups to do it for us. Our panel
includes marriage counselors, therapists, career
counselors and social workers; collectively representing
over 150 YEARS of clinical psychiatric experience. Trust
us—they know their shit.
They carefully evaluated each event (even the moronic
ones) considering such factors as:
After these were reviewed, we averaged their scores to
create our Misery Index.
4 Card Anatomy
The cards for Shit HappensTM aren’t complicated.
Shitty
Situation
At Restaurant;
Find Condom
in Burger
Illustration
Misery Index
Number
50
5 LET’S GET THIS SHIT STARTED
First, shuffle the deck and deal three cards to each
player. We don’t care who deals; you’re grown-ass adults—
you decide. The remaining cards form a draw pile.
Place your cards face up on the table in front of you,
ranked by the numerical order of the Misery Index. You
are building a scale—a scale of woe. We like to call it the
LANE OF PAIN.
The same player who was man enough to deal the cards
gets to go first. When it’s your turn, the player to your
right draws a card from the draw pile. S/he reads the
SHITTY SITUATION aloud BUT DOESN’T REVEAL THE
MISERY INDEX NUMBER.
To win the card, you DON’T HAVE TO GUESS THE
EXACT INDEX NUMBER (which would be, like,
impossible). All you have to do is guess ITS PROPER
PLACE IN YOUR LANE OF PAIN. In other words, put it
in order with the rest of your cards. For shits and giggles, let’s say you have THESE 3 CARDS:
You are trying to win this card:
Hmm…that’s a tough one. Where does it
belong in your LANE OF PAIN?
If you think catching your parents having
sex is LESS AWFUL than a disastrous
haircut, indicate area A. If you think it falls BETWEEN disastrous
haircut and root canal, indicate B.