BULLY PROOFING YOUR KID
Kimber Bishop-Yanke
Founder, Girls and Boys Empowered
www.kidsempowered.com
Empowerment
*Self-esteem
*Self-worth
*Confidence
*Passion
*Emotional
intelligence
*Purpose
Who do
you want
to be?
Friendly?
Who do you
want to be?
Unfriendly?
Connected
Friends
Allies
Belonging
Groups
Connections
• Family
• Extended family
• Neighborhood
• Friends
• School
• School activities
• Hobbies
• “a cause”
• Religion
• Sports
• Many social circles
• Take focus off having
a best friend
• Focus on being a
friendly classmate
ALLIES
FRIENDLY
CLASSMATES
• Inside and outside
of school
SKILLS
*Assertiveness
*Problem Solving
*Conflict
Resolution
*Friendship
*Friendly classmate
SELFDEFENSE
OF WORDS
Bullying
Relational
Aggression
Cyber
Bullying
Cyberbullying
Anonymity
Accessibility
24hrs/7 days
Bystanders – can be millions
and permanent
Low self-esteem by both the perpetrator
& target
UNFRIENDLY
CLASSMATES
UNFRIENDLY
FRIENDS
A FRIENDLY CLASSMATE
*Says Hello
*Wears a Friendly Face
*Uses hands for high
fives, thumbs up,
waving hello
Includes
““Yes, you can sit
there.”
“Do you want join us?”
*Is Helpful
*Is Supportive
*Give Compliments
*Uses manners
UNFRIENDLY CLASSMATES
*Gossip
*Tell other kid’s
secrets
*Whisper
Say mean
things
Put-downs
Excludes
Three areas to skill build to stand up for
yourself
Voice
Confidence
Words
 Unfriendly friends
Firm, Friendly and Gentle
THE
VOICE
 Unfriendly classmates
Firmer
 Bully
VERY FIRM
Voice should NOT be:
 Aggressive
 Sound Annoyed
 Have attitude
 Whiney
 Or Passive
ASSERTIVENESS
Confident Body Language
DIRECT EYE
CONTACT
STAND TALL
SPONGE BOB
SQUARE
SHOULDERS
WORDS: BACK POCKET RESPONSES
• Example of a three-time strategy: Child is called a
name
• First time: “I thought we left name calling behind in
kindergarten. Seriously, this needs to stop.
• Second time: “I don’t think you heard me. I want you to
stop playing the name calling game.
• Third time: “ I don’t think you are getting it. This game
is getting old.”
• Fourth time: “Don’t you have anything better to do?”
(Child goes and reports it and strategically keeps other
kids from knowing they reported it except for good
friends.)
BACK POCKET RESPONSES
• “Focus on yourself.”
•
“Why are you paying so much attention to me?”,
•
“Put-downs are not cool”,
•
“If it was just a joke, we both would be laughing.”
• “You are very observant.
• What is your point?”
• “You don’t need to worry about me.”
• “Only on Fridays”
•
“What is it to you?”
PARENTS
Community
-students
-staff
-parents
Teachers/Staff
THREAT OF BEING CALLED
A SNITCH OR TATTLE TALE
*Confidential
*Trust
*Follow up
*Teaching the difference between
reporting and tattle tale
*Culture- kids expect other kids to stand
up for others or report
CREATING AN INCLUSIVE SCHOOL
THEME SONG FROM CHEERS
Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name
source: http://www.lyricsondemand.com/tvthemes/cheerslyrics.html-