RESILIENCY
Mr. Kevin King, Principal
Mrs. Tammy Cook, School Counselor
Dr. Kasey Black, School Psychologist
Understanding Resiliency:
It Relates to Your Child’s Emotions, Anxiety,
Friendships, Confidence, & Community
Discover Easy Ways to Help Your Child Cope
with Everyday Challenges & Move Forward
Positively
Overview
1. Definition & Data
2. Happenings at NES to Improve Resiliency
3. Resiliency Skills & Parent Tips
4. Resilient Child or Not
Resiliency Skills
Resiliency refers to a set of skills and characteristics that
allows individuals to adjust and cope effectively with life’s
challenges.
Resiliency Skills
◦ Being Proactive (Looking ahead, setting goals, planning, problemsolving, thinking optimistically, & positive sense of self)
◦ Self-Regulation (Controlling emotions & actions)
◦ Connections and Attachments (Making friends)
◦ Achievements and Talents (Acknowledgement & praise)
◦ Community (Getting involved & support)
◦ Proactive Parenting (Modeling & guidance)
More about Resilience
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Resilience is not all or nothing
◦ You can be a little resilient.
◦ You can be a lot resilient.
◦ You can be resilient in some situations but not
in others (Reivich, 2010).
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Resiliency can be promoted, nurtured, and
taught!
What does the research say?
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Meta-analysis of 270,034 students K-12
Those students found to possess resilience
demonstrated significantly improved:
◦ Social & emotional skills
◦ Attitudes
◦ Behavior
…AND…
(Durlak, Weissberg, Dymnicki, Taylor, & Schellinger, 2011)
Resilient children demonstrated
significantly improved
ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT!
11-percentile-point gain in
achievement!
(Durlak, Weissberg, Dymnicki, Taylor, & Schellinger, 2011)
Additional results
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Resilient children are:
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Less likely to become depressed
Less likely to become helpless
More likely to persist in problem solving
Willing to take risks
More likely to reach appropriate milestones
(Durlak, Weissberg, Dymnicki, Taylor, & Schellinger, 2011)
Is it a myth or truth?
1. Resilient children do not show their
emotions.
2. Resilient children tolerate ambiguity (e.g.,
are okay with ‘I don’t know’).
3. Resilient children are all about the
individual (e.g., can handle anything).
4. Resilient children know their individual
strengths.
5. Resilient children accomplish superhuman
feats.
Risk Factors
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What is a risk factor?
◦ Individual & environmental factors that place
one at a greater risk for negative life
outcomes.
Risk Factors
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INTERNAL
Anxiety
Low self-esteem
Academic failure
Ineffective coping
strategies
Emotional
dysregulation
Poor social skills
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ENVIRONMENTAL
Harsh, inconsistent
discipline within the
family
Unclear boundaries
Exposure to violence,
drugs, etc.
Poor peer associations
Poverty
Family stress/instability
Protective Factors
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What is a protective factor?
◦ Individual & environmental factors that
mitigate or reduce the likelihood of negative
life outcomes.
Protective Factors
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INTERNAL
Optimism
Emotional awareness
Flexible thinking
Self-efficacy
Empathy
ENVIRONMENTAL
 Meaningful
connection to an
adult
 Realistically high
expectations
 Clear boundaries
Our Goal
Build effective environments in which
POSITIVE BEHAVIOR is more effective
than PROBLEM BEHAVIOR
 Identify risk & protective factors, and
build from there
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SO WHAT ARE WE DOING
ABOUT RESILIENCY AT
NEWTOWN ELEMENTARY?
Being Proactive
(Looking ahead, setting goals, planning, problem-solving,
thinking optimistically, and positive sense of self)
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Code of Conduct
Grade level assemblies
Student feedback groups
Bully Box
RAs
BTSN
4 Themes
NOVA
SPBSS Common Language
Safe (Soft) Landing
Self-Regulation
(controlling emotions & actions)
1-5 scale
 Circles
 Guidance Lessons
 RAs
 Social Stories
 Restorative Practices
 4 Themes
 Life Skills/Second Step
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Connections & Attachments
(making friends)
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Guidance groups
Buddy classes
After-school sports
Service projects
Charitable works
Circles
PTO events
Assemblies
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Grade-level projects
Spirit Days
Walking Club
School Musical
Math Nights
Science Fair
Reading Olympics
Culture Fair
Achievements & Talents
(acknowledgement & praise)
Knights Honors
 Morning announcements
 Positive phone calls
 Free Seating Friday
 School Musical
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Community
(getting involved & support)
Service Projects
 Charitable works
 Fire Prevention Week
 DARE
 Veggieville
 FLEX
 Young Rembrandts
 NOVA
 Reading Olympics
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Proactive Parenting
(modeling & guidance)
Parent Workshops
 CR Ed Week
 IST
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Are You Raising Resilient Children?
1.
Your child gets out of school at 3:15. She is worried that you will be late.
She wants you to get there early and park where she can see you. What do
you do?
2.
Your child had several conflicts with a student in a previous year. When
classlists are being made, you are concerned about your child being with that
student again. What do you do?
3.
Your child wants to go away to sleep-away camp. He doesn’t have a lot of
experience staying overnight. What do you do?
4.
Your child has to present a project for science class as part of her
participation grade. She is very shy and uncomfortable speaking in front of
others. What do you do?
5.
Your child keeps forgetting his homework at school. You want to know what
is going on. What do you do?
Are You Raising Resilient Children?
6. Your child is worried that her friend may be mad at her at school
today. She tells you about her worries. What do you do?
7. You hear that there has been another school shooting. Sadly, you
have to tell your child about what has happened. What do you do?
8. Your child has been assigned a project at school. He has completed
the assignment, but you think it could have been done better. What do
you do?
9. Your child comes home from the game very upset because he
missed the winning shot. While angry, he slams the doors and lashes
out at family members with an angry tone. What do you do?
10. You had a bad day at work. You don’t have a lot of patience left
when you get home. Your children begin asking you questions about
homework and complaining about what is being made for dinner. You
quickly snap at them. Later, you start to feel badly about the way you
responded to them. What do you do?
Parent Tips
1. Don’t accommodate every need.
Try not to be too overprotective. It inhibits problem solving
and mastery and can create anxiety.
2. Avoid eliminating all risk.
The key is to allow age-appropriate freedom and risks and teach
your kids essential skills to help them learn their limits.
3.Teach them to problem solve.
Normalize your child’s nervousness, and help them figure out
how to navigate problems by brainstorming strategies.
4. Teach your kids concrete skills.
Focus on the specific skills they’ll need to learn in order to
handle specific situations.
5. Avoid “why” questions.
“Why” questions aren’t helpful in promoting problem solving.
Ask “how” questions instead.
More Parent Tips
6. Don’t provide all the answers.
Rather than providing your kids with every answer, start using the phrase “I don’t know,
how do we figure this out?” Using this phrase helps kids learn to tolerate uncertainty
and think about ways to deal with potential challenges.
7. Avoid talking in catastrophic terms.
Pay attention to what you say to your kids and around them. Anxious parents, in
particular, tend to use all or nothing and catastrophic conversation.
8. Let your kids make mistakes.
Letting kids mess up is tough and painful for parents, but it helps kids learn how to fix
slip-ups and make better decisions next time.
9. Help them manage their emotions.
Emotional management is key in resilience. Teach your kids that all emotions are OK.
Also, teach them that after feeling their feelings, they need to think through what they’re
doing next and how they are going to act on their emotions.
10. Model resiliency.
Kids also learn from observing their parents’ behavior. Try to be calm and consistent.
When you do make a mistake, admit it. “I really messed up. I’m sorry I handled that
poorly.” Let’s talk about a different way to handle that in the future.
Even More Parent Tips
1.
Make connections
Teach your child how to make friends, including the skill of empathy, or
feeling another's pain.
2.
Help your child by having him or her help others
Engage your child in age-appropriate volunteer work, or ask for assistance
yourself with some task that he or she can master.
3.
Maintain a daily routine
Sticking to a routine can be comforting to children. Encourage your child
to develop his or her own routines.
4.
Take a break
While it is important to stick to routines, endlessly worrying can be
counter-productive. Teach your child how to focus on something besides
what's worrying him.
5.
Teach your child self-care
Make yourself a good example, and teach your child the importance of
making time to eat properly, exercise, and rest. Make sure your child has
time to have fun, and make sure that your child hasn't scheduled every
moment of his or her life with no "down time" to relax.
And even more parent tips!
6. Move toward your goals
Teach your child to set reasonable goals and then to move toward them one
step at a time.
7. Nurture a positive self-view
Help your child remember ways that he or she has successfully handled
hardships in the past. Help your child learn to trust himself to solve problems
and make appropriate decisions. Teach your child to see the humor in life, and
the ability to laugh at one’s self.
8. Keep things in perspective and maintain a hopeful outlook
Even when your child is facing very painful events, help him look at the
situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Help him or
her see that there is a future beyond the current situation and that the future
can be good.
9. Look for opportunities for self-discovery
Help your child take a look at how whatever he is facing can teach him about
his qualities.
10. Accept that change is part of living
Change often can be scary for children and teens. Help your child see that
change is part of life and new goals can replace goals that have become
unattainable.
Still More Parent Tips!
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Model positive self-talk
Let your child know when he is invading someone’s personal space
Help your child be aware of being a good leader (being proactive,
communicating effectively, maintaining self-control, being a good rolemodel, being a team-player, and giving compliments)
Acknowledge positive communication skills
Teach steps in maintaining good conversation (eye contact, body
language, smile, normal volume, listen, stay on topic, ask questions,
respect personal space, and stay positive)
Teach good sportsmanship skills for winning and losing
Teach optimistic thinking (problems are temporary and specific and
taking responsibility for behavior and not blaming others)
Teach problem solving skills (define the problem, stay calm,
brainstorm, agree on a solution, and evaluate solution)
Model stress management
Help your child understand assertiveness
Model empathy
Resilient vs. Non-Resilient Child
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Resilient Child
Capable of coping with change
Adapts to challenges
Recovers more easily after
misfortune
Resourceful
Happy
Successful
Well-liked
Increased confidence
Goal-oriented
Demonstrates self-control
Positive attitude
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Non-Resilient Child
Rigid, inflexible, or passive reaction
to change
Academic difficulties
Feels powerless
Less likely to set, reach, and attain
goals
Loss of confidence
Difficulty connecting to peers
Higher risk of developing anxiety
or depression
Lower self-esteem
Physical health problems
How Resilient is Your Child?
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Demonstrates problem-solving ability and
generates alternatives to challenges?
Accepts responsibility and is able to
apologize?
Demonstrates flexibility in thinking?
Demonstrates optimistic thinking?
Feels good about self?
Asserts self, speaks up for self, holds body
posture in assertive stance?
Adapts well to change and/or transition?
Is able to stay in own personal space?
Speaks with appropriate voice volume?
Calms self when upset?
Listens to others without interruption?
Stays on topic in conversation?
Controls irritability/temper with peers and
is able to express negative feelings
appropriately?
Things before acts?
Shares and takes turns?
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Joins other children appropriately?
Understands how others are feeling?
Uses eye contact when speaking to others?
Demonstrates reciprocity in relationships?
Is aware of how others perceive them?
Reads nonverbal cues accurately?
Listens to and accepts others’ ideas?
Shows a connection with peers?
Offers positive comments or compliments
to peers?
Treats peers with respect?
Compromises appropriately?
Starts a conversation with a peer?
Is sensitive to others’ feelings?
Is sought by others to play?
Is a good loser/winner?
Involved in after-school activities?
Initiates getting together with peers?
Asks for help when needed?
Go ‘Round:
One thing you learned
or thought about
during this workshop.
Thank You!