BEREAVEMENT POLICY
(A Sense of Loss)
Aug 2014
A SENSE OF LOSS
COPING WITH BEREAVEMENT & LOSS
The aim of this policy is to give notes of guidance to all staff on how to deal with students and staff
who have suffered a bereavement or a loss. It also aims to produce a plan of action in the event of
a crisis happening involving a number of members of the school
Objectives:
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To give guidelines to staff on how to deal with students (or colleagues) who have experienced
bereavement.
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To have a crisis team
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To have in place systems for dealing with crisis
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To ensure that there are staff in school with counselling expertise
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To provide a network of support for staff who are supporting individuals or groups who have
suffered a loss
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To make staff aware of the bereavement process
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To include the topic of death in the curriculum, assemblies and the hidden curriculum
Background
Staff need to be aware of the types of crises that may affect schools and schools. Students and
staff may be affected by crises that occur either in or out of school.
In School
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The death of a student or a member of staff through natural causes
A fatal accident involving a student or a member of staff
A deliberate act of violence
A school fire or explosion in a laboratory
Out of School
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Deaths or injuries on school visits
Tragedies involving children from many schools such as a fire or as happened at the
Hillsborough disaster
Refugee children joining the school
A War as in the recent war in Iraq
Terrorism i.e. 11th Sept, 7th July
The emotional effects of disasters on children are not always immediately obvious to parents or
school staff. Children sometimes find it difficult to confide distress to adults in case it upsets them.
In some children the distress can last for months, even years and may affect their academic
attainment.
People do not normally practise handling traumatic situations in the course of their daily lives.
When we do hear of sad circumstances we may not know how to approach people, or even
whether to say anything at all.
Any teacher, on hearing of a bereavement, a family breakdown or abuse, may be unsure how to
help the student concerned, or how to deal with the isolation they observe as the peer group
struggles with the same problems.
Hopefully, this policy will help to address some of these concerns. Whilst recognising that teachers
are not responsible for dealing with all the trauma in a child’s life, by caring and offering a listening
ear, we can sometimes reduce the person’s distress.
The Grieving Process
Grief is the pain of loss
BEREAVEMENT
still birth
abortion
death of a pet
child death
death of a parent
or spouse
LOSS OF PART OF SELF
loss of sight
loss of hearing
stroke/paralysis
loss of independence
LOSS OF SENSE OF SECURITY
house break in
mugging/rape
divorce/separation
house/school move
LOSS OF SELF RESPECT
failure
- School
- Work
- sport
- regard
bankruptcy
redundancy
imprisonment
Grief can be many things.
It will affect many people differently.
death of a relative
death of a friend
There are several stages in the grieving process.
ANGER
SHOCK
DENIAL
GUILT
ACCEPTANCE
YEARNING
DEPRESSION
Grief does not follow a pattern. Not everyone will experience all of the above. These states may
happen up to a year after the loss.
Everything is affected by:
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How the news is broken
The quality of the relationship
The way people parted
Earlier losses
Personal beliefs and faiths
Support
In the event of a loss children will need:
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A safe space
Accurate knowledge
Healthy grieving
Opportunity to tell their story
Positive coping skills
We must let children know that what they are experiencing is normal and natural.
The healing begins once a child has given the space to tell their story – not just once but several
times.
NOTE
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No member of staff can take on this responsibility themselves – it needs to be a team
approach.
In preparation for this role staff need to remember that they are teachers and not social
workers.
In some cultures it is taboo to talk about death. There are cultural and gender differences to be
aware of.
It takes time.
All staff need to be made aware of the loss immediately, in order that they can understand why
someone is acting as they are.
BEREAVEMENT
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In the event of a student or a member of staff losing someone close to them, all staff will be
informed during a morning briefing or the school e-mail.
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In the case of a student it will be necessary to inform the tutor group. This will be best dealt
with by the Tutor. Several students may require help to deal with the situation. It may help to
send a card from the class. They will need advice on how to greet the child on their return.
They do not want to be swamped with sympathy but equally do not want to be ignored.
A balance needs to be reached.
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The student/member of staff will be told by the appropriate person (Tutor for student, Head or
Deputy Head for staff) that there is someone to listen if they need to talk.
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Decisions about attendance at funerals, donations, flowers, etc will be made on an individual
basis following discussion with the family and others concerned. Certain circumstances may
necessitate a separate service of remembrance being held in school.
Staff need to be aware that reactions to the bereavement will vary. The following tips may help:
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The student will probably want you to talk to them about it or acknowledge that you know.
It is a myth that children are more adaptable to death than adults. It can in fact affect them for
a long time and the grief may take months to come out.
Children sometimes try and hide their grief.
Shock may last for a few weeks, be prepared for this.
Anger at the death may come out in tantrums or irritability at friends or teachers. There may
also be physical symptoms with digestion, sleep and concentration problems. There may even
be a denial that the person is dead.
Sadness and longing – after a time the child may become depressed. The child may seek to
be alone, cry over letters and photographs. They will need some privacy.
Rebuilding – life will start to have a purpose again, usually at the end of the first year but there
will be times, like anniversaries and birthdays where there may be a relapse.
The student will need the security of the school routine and familiar faces.
As teachers our role is that of supporter helping the bereaved person through their pain, rather
than seeking to remove or avoid it.
Be aware that not all students are caring and some may make cruel remarks. Be vigilant if this
is the case and intervene where necessary.
Everyone reacts differently in this situation, therefore some children will immerse themselves in
work and others will perform less well.
Above all, teachers need to be supportive, to listen, to care and be a source of strength and
stability.
Educating children about death and bereavement
It will help if children know that death is a normal and natural event. We need to replace possible
‘taboo’ feelings with knowledge, reasoned beliefs and an open, healthy attitude, helping children to
cope better with personal bereavements when these occur later in their lives. Do not be frightened
to talk about death if the subject occurs naturally within the curriculum, PSHEE or during tutor time.
Divorce, Separation and Remarriage
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One in eight children are likely to experience their parents’ divorce by the age of ten, and one
in five by the age of sixteen. The stresses experienced by families during a marital breakdown
will inevitably spill over into performance at school. At any one time there are likely to be
between three to five students going through this in school.
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Research indicates that divorce is a process that extends over a number of years and may
cause many stresses for children. Children can take between two and five years to adjust to
these new situations.
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Unlike the previous section on bereavement, it is usually not advisable or necessary to inform
the tutor group where this is happening. Staff, however, may need to be informed.
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Staff going through this process may want confidentiality respected.
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Marital break-up has a profound effect on children. They often feel that they are to blame for
what is happening and they may also be used by the parents in an emotional game.
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Children may be affected in different ways:
They might:
lose their self-esteem
become withdrawn and isolated
doubt their own value and ability
Or there might be noticeable changes in their behaviour, such as:
attention seeking behaviour
searching for adult approval
copying parent’s behaviour
tiredness
absences
poor punctuality
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Whilst listening to students, teachers must be very careful not to get involved with the
dispute. Keep comments non-judgemental.
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Be sensitive to the fact that children are likely to be moving between two households and
there may be times when books and equipment have been genuinely left at the ‘wrong’
parents’ house.
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Money may become a problem.
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Children may have to face a house move as well.
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After a divorce, both parents are entitled to reports and any other information from school.
However, school needs to be aware of any injunctions, etc, in force. This information will
be given to all staff and will be recorded on SIMs.
Teachers can help them to regain their balance by requiring the same standards of them as
of the rest of the class, listening to their concerns, rather than smothering them with
sympathy and stepping back from making judgements about what is happening at home.
Of the one in five children affected by divorce by the age of sixteen, up to half have lost contact
with the non-custodial parent (usually the father) by the end of the first year. Some make this
decision thinking the child will ‘get over it’ and it will be better for the child. However, research
shows that these children, long-term are the least well adjusted both at home and at school.
In the event of a tragedy involving several members of the school or community
Plan of Action
Information in and out
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In the event of a crisis or tragedy the first task is to obtain accurate information and relay it to
the Senior Leadership Team.
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All information given out to parents, press, etc, is given by this team, in conjunction with the
Press Office at County Hall, in order to prevent or allay rumours.
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Good communication must be the top priority. As the phone lines are likely to be jammed with
incoming calls, it is very important to have a line exclusively for outgoing calls.
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If there has been an accident away from school, the party leader needs to have an emergency
number on which to make contact with members of the Senior Leadership Team. This may be
their home number. All visit leaders will have the mobile number of the Headtecher or that of a
member of the Senior Leadership Team.
Dealing with Enquiries
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Full and accurate information will need to be given to families of people involved in the crisis.
The office staff will be organised to deal with the incoming calls and will be given guidance on
the information to be given out and to whom they should offer information.
Where parents or relatives come into school the designated staff will be available to talk to
them.
The designated staff answering enquiries will keep notes on who they have spoken to and ask for
a contact number. Heads of School need to check lists of students on the lists and make sure
every parent or guardian is contacted informing them of events and keeping them up to date.
Informing Parents
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When informing parents offer help of transport if they want to come to school; check that they
are not left alone in distress; offer useful telephone numbers for either support or more
information, eg, hospital number, social care, the Samaritans, CRUSE.
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As well as parents with students involved, all other parents need to be told about the crisis to
be warned that their child may be upset.
Dealing with the Media
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Another major task for the school may be to protect children, parents and staff from publicity.
(This may be for a few weeks). The headteacher will work in conjunction with the Press Office
at County Hall. Only the designated Press Officer will talk to the press in consultation with the
headteacher. It is highly unlikely that the media will be invited into school and all students and
staff will be asked not to speak to them.
Informing Staff
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As soon as an incident is confirmed, a small group of staff will be relieved of all teaching and
duties in order to manage the situation for however long it takes.
This team will consist of:
K Maher
C Gordon
(Tutor)
(Appropriate Head of School)
(School Manager)
This above team will be responsible for some or all of the following:
contacting parents
contacting County Hall
informing the Governors
informing the press
contacting Police, Fire, Ambulance, Hospitals
Help may be required from:
Education Psychology
Education Social Work Service
School Nurse
Social Care
Child Psychologist
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The rest of the staff both teaching and support staff need to be informed as soon as possible.
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Civil emergency procedures, co-ordinated by the Area Officer, are already in place for local
emergencies or disasters when the school will be opened as a civil aid centre.
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The WRVS and the Salvation Army can be called upon for help with food, bedding and
clothing, etc, in other situations.
Informing Students
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Students will need to be told basic facts but not necessarily details. This will best be done in
small groups, either tutor groups or year assemblies.
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Questions should be answered honestly, but there should be no speculations on why
something might have happened. Closure of the school should be avoided. It will be best to
keep students on timetable but with the team being available for individuals.
Attendance at Funerals
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Decisions about attendance at funerals, donations, flowers, etc, will be made on an individual
basis following discussion with the family and others concerned.
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Certain circumstances may necessitate a separate service of remembrance being held in
school.
SUMMARY
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Ensure that accurate information can get into and out of school.
Ensure that several staff have access to next-of-kin lists.
The named team deals with all enquiries.
The named Press Officer deals with all media requests (in conjunction with the Headteacher)
Inform parents, staff and students sensitively and accurately.
Attempt to stick to normal school routines.
Inform governors and the LA.
Make plans for attendance at funerals.
Further information is available from a variety of books including the following:
Wise Before the Event
Charlotte’s Web (Penguin 1963, £3.99)
Your friend, Rebecca
(Heinemann ELT, 1990 £4.95)
Mamma’s going to buy you a mocking-bird
(Penguin, 1984, £1.95)
My brother, Joey, died
(TCF (USA), 1982, £4.95)
How it feels when a parent dies
(Gollancz, 1991, £5.99)
Love, Mark
(Hope for Bereaved, 1989, £5.65)
CONTACT
E B White
Linda Hoy
Jean Little
Gloria Houston
Jill Krementz
Mark Scrivani
NAME
TEL. NO.
Director of Children’s Services
01159823823
Local Authority/LAOO
01623 433433
Cheryl Stollery
Police
01623 420999
SHS Liaison Officer
PC Steve Knighton
extn 3671
School Doctor/Community
Medical Officer
Dr Jibodu
01623 785173
School Nurse Team
K Middleton/L Lockhart
01773 810321
Educational Psychologist
Fiona Clavin
01623 433316
Child/Family Psychiatry Service – Dr Kumar
01623 650921
Emergency Dept Kings Mill Hospital
01623 622515
Social Care
Sutton in Ashfield
01623 433433
Kirkby in Ashfield
01623 558777
Counselling Services
Information Shop
01623 657077
Other Voluntary Agencies
CRUSE Bereavement
Care
01623 647645
Ripley & Heanor
01773 742133
Chad
01623 456789
Eastwood & Kimberley
01773 760444
Local Chemist
01773 810522
Linda Smith
Extn: 1811
Press & Media Contacts
SENCO SHS