Change the World with YOU Power!
Today YOU will learn to:
• Recognize warning signs of abuse
• Recognize ageism
• Respond safely and supportively
• Little things YOU do can make a big
difference!
• Find help in your community
YOU Power – What is it?
YOU are a powerful being in the world!
(most people just don’t know it)
your smallest action
has an impact
of some kind…
Let’s look at what YOU can do to
support older adults who may be
experiencing abuse or neglect
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Everyone has the right to be safe and free
from abuse or neglect.
We have a shared responsibility to create safe,
strong, healthy communities.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Ageism?
Ageism is a factor in abuse.
It is discrimination against older adults
because they are older.
You’re
too old.
Ageism happens when you make up
your mind about what a group of
people are like because of their age.
We all have ageist attitudes.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
Harm caused to older adults
by someone who limits or
controls their rights and
freedoms.
The older adults are unable to
freely make choices because
they are afraid of being hurt,
humiliated, left alone or of the
relationship ending.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
Abuse is NOT just impolite or
rude behaviour.
It IS abuse when one person
uses power or influence to take
advantage of, or to control the
older adult.
Neglect of older adults who
cannot manage on their own is
also abuse.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abuse of Older Adults?
Abuse is misuse of power.
It can make the person experiencing it
feel small, alone and powerless.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abusive Behaviour?
It can be raging
and terrifying
verbal, physical , financial,
sexual , spiritual abuse
…neglect too
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
What Is Abusive Behaviour?
I may control
your every
move!!!
Or it can be
more subtle and
hard to see.
And your
money too!!!
Warning Signs
I stop attending
social events or
church.
Signs of neglect
such as no food
in the house.
My phone is cut
off, or things start
disappearing from
my house.
If I tell you I am
being abused—
believe me.
I become
depressed and
withdrawn or
fearful.
Someone
suddenly moves
in with me.
I have injuries
I can’t explain.
Warning Signs – Abusive Behaviour
• Blaming the older adult:
You make me so mad. It’s your fault I pushed you!
• A strong sense of entitlement:
It will be my money someday. You owe me.
• Treating the older adult like a child:
Do what I tell you!
• Arguments and name calling
• Leaving a dependent person alone for
periods of time
long
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Why Are Some People
More at Risk?
People who are abused are often isolated.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Why Are Some People
More at Risk?
People who are abused are often isolated.
I may be isolated
because of my culture
or language.
The person abusing
me might keep me
away from people who
can help.
As abuse escalates
I become more
and more isolated.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
There Are Other Risk Factors Too…
Addictions
sometimes play a
role in abuse.
You are more at risk
if you live with
someone.
Depression and
other mental
health issues
Living with
someone who
is dependent
on you
Cognitive
impairment
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Who behaves abusively toward
older adults?
Not monsters but
people we know…
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Who behaves abusively toward
older adults?
Most often, it is family members
…adult children or grandchildren.
People who behave abusively
can also be other relatives or
friends, paid/unpaid caregivers,
landlords, financial advisors or
anyone in a position of power,
authority or trust.
Stats Canada
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
 People who experience abuse need support
 People who behave abusively are accountable
for their actions (but may not recognize it as
abusive behaviour – especially family)
Neighbours, friends and family
members can make a difference.
What you can do…
What makes you feel uncomfortable?
Watch for warning signs
What Did You See?
•
•
•
•
Is it abuse?
What are the warning signs?
What are the risk factors?
What tips the power balance?
What Did You See?
Warning signs
 Financial abuse
 Emotional abuse
Risk Factors





Michael is dependent and unemployed
They are living together
He suffers from depression
Alcohol abuse increases risk
This is an escalating situation
What Did You See?
Abusive Behaviour




Moving Carla downstairs
Taking or stealing her money
Disregard for her privacy
Reading her mail
Ageist Attitudes
 Entitled to Mom’s money, home, time
 Mom’s wants and needs are not important
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
.
Let’s Talk about Support
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
It’s a journey, learning to:
• overcome your hesitation to help
• be truly supportive (not controlling)
• have a conversation with people you
are concerned about …
.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
For your journey to support:
SNCit!
3. CHECK it!
2. NAME it!
1. SEE it!
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit!
1. SEE it! “It’s not right!”
• Notice when you feel uncomfortable.
• Learn about abuse.
• Recognize the warning signs.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit!
2. NAME it!
“Michael moved you downstairs…”
•
•
•
•
Overcome your hesitation to help.
Name the warning signs – just the facts!
Name your concern: “I’m worried about you…”
Talk to the older adult or someone you trust.
Don’t jump to
conclusions or make
judgements!
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit!
3. CHECK it!
“Are you ok? What can I do to help?”
.
•Check your assumptions – ask questions!
• Check with the person you are worried for
• Check for danger
• Call 911 / police in an emergency
• Trust your instincts
The goal is to open
the door for support
What will happen next?
Francesca is Carla’s friend
Watch for the impact on Carla
Door open or closed?
What will happen next?
Is Francesca blaming Carla?
What will happen next?
Do you think that Francesca genuinely cares
about her friend and wants to help?
Let me try that again
Watch for the impact on Carla
What does Francesca do?
• She sees the disorder in Carla’s
house and asks a question
• She names her concern – “I’m
worried about you”
• She listens without judgement
• She makes contact with Carla
• She checks and asks a question
– Are you ok?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Questions
How Good
to ‘Handle’
SNCit
Are you
You don’t have
to ‘solve’
ok?problems!
another person’s
Is someone
…instead you can be their strong
support!
hurting you ?
Use both handles of
safety and respect!
Can I
help?
What will happen next?
What will happen next?
I decide what
happens next
What will happen next?
What will happen next?
What else does Francesca do?
• She sees the disorder and asks a
question
• She names her concern – “I’m
worried about you”
• She listens without judgement
• She makes contact with Carla
• She asks a question
• She interrupts the isolation
Isolation
ABUSE
ISOLATION
ABUSE
ISOLATION
ABUSE
ISOLATION
ABUSE
ISOLATION
ABUSE
Isolation is a risk
factor for abuse and
is also a result of
abuse that becomes
deeper and more
profound as the
abuse escalates
ISOLATION
44
A Simple Strategy
To Increase Safety
and Provide Support
Reduce or Eliminate Isolation
Reduce or Eliminate Isolation
…wherever it occurs
It isn’t just the people experiencing or
causing abuse who are isolated…
Neighbours, friends and family members
become isolated too – sitting alone with
their fears and concerns
46
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit with Safety and Respect
Find a time when the person acting abusively
is not present.
Listen carefully
Respect if he/she doesn’t
want to talk about it—
leave the door open.
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
SNCit - Start with heart
Approach the older adult from a place
of genuine concern and care…
I am worried
about you…
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
The Journey Steps – SNCit!
1. SEE it! Notice when
Something makes you feel not right
2. NAME it! Talk to someone—the older adult first:
What are the warning signs? …name your concern
3. CHECK it! Ask questions:
“Are you ok?”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
See it - Name it - Check it = SNCit!
Be Prepared for Disclosures
If someone tells you they are being abused,
here are some helpful things you can say:
•
•
•
•
•
I care about you
I believe you
It’s not your fault
I’m worried about your safety
I will support you and your decisions
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Local Resources – finding help
You Power - How It Works
We are all part of a community
Faith groups
Relatives
You
Neighbours
Social groups
Friends
Professionals
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Everything you do has an impact
…it makes a difference
You
What kind of difference
do you want to make?
“It’s Not Right!” Neighbours, Friends and Families for Older Adults
Final Thoughts
You don’t have to be a hero or fix the situation.
YOU
Caring about the have
people the
around
us, paying
Power
attention to them when there are signs
of trouble and responding appropriately
can make a big difference.
Little things count.