ODN-IODA
World Summit
October, 2015
THE PATHWAY TO BUILDING TRUSTING
RELATIONSHIPS RAPIDLY
Change Partners Consulting,
Copyright, 2015
Brenda B. Jones, MA & Arlene Scott, PhD
Goals: The Pathway to Building
Trusting Relationships Rapidly
► Gain new insight into how you build influence and trust
with others
► Learn which of your behaviors are effective (because
they have the impact that you intend them to have)
► Experiment with new behaviors to more rapidly build
trusting relationships
► Explore how to influence positively, without dominating.
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Agenda
Welcome, Introductions, Agenda
 Rationale: Importance of Relationships
 Setting individual goals for this session
 Johari Window: Experiential Activity
 Practice & Feedback: Building Trusting
Relationships
 Closing

Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Introductions

At table groups:
 Name
 Company & role
 What motivated you to attend this session?
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Business Case: Building Trusting
Relationships Rapidly
Do You Recognize These
Behaviors?





Pushing own agenda, rather
than seeking to understand
others' priorities or looking for
common ground?
Holding back on sharing
ideas?
Making commitments but not
following through?
Competing to have the
"winning" idea?
Complaining to third parties,
rather than directly working
out differences
constructively?
Bottom Line Impact



Customers vote with
their feet
Wasted time in delays,
errors, redundant work
Lack of commitment to
your organization’s
course of action
Emotional Intelligence


Emotional intelligence refers to the capacity for:
 Recognizing our own feelings and those of others
 Managing emotions well in ourselves and in our
relationships
 There are five basic emotional and social competencies:
 Self awareness
 Self regulation
 Motivation
 Empathy
 Social skills
Research shows the importance of a leader’s ability to relate
to others
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Building Trusting Relationships
Rapidly: Excellence Model
7
Questions to Consider When Setting a
Goal for this Session
In building trusting relationships rapidly:
1. How much do I open up about what’s important to me, what I feel,
ideas I have?
2. How much do I stay curious about the other person, particularly in
situations where we have differences and/or the other person is from
another country or culture?
3. Do I balance attending to my own needs & views with considering
the needs & views of others….putting myself in the other person’s
shoes?
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Setting a Goal for this Session

Organize in pairs with people you haven’t met or know slightly

Distribute Skills Inventory representing the behaviors needed for
building trusting relationships.

Take 3-4 minutes to:
 Check 1-2 behaviors you do well and circle 1-2 behaviors you’d
like to improve for Self Expression AND 1-2 behaviors for
Building Shared Understanding.
 Activity for Pair: (10 minutes)
 In turn, each of the two people summarize behaviors they do
well and potential improvement behaviors
 Each sets ONE goal for practicing an improvement behavior
during this session
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Disclosure
Johari Window
OPEN
BLINDSPOT:
I Know
You Know
I Don’t Know
You Know
MASK:
POTENTIAL
CREATIVITY:
I Know
You Don’t Know
I Don’t Know
You Don’t Know
Feedback
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Opening the Window
Johari Activity: Part One
Groups of 4
Open the Window:

Describe a turning point experience (positive or
painful), and explain how the experience affects
your values and behavior today (2-3 minutes)

Guidelines
•
Get yourself known. Share your experience and its
impact to “get yourself out there”
Refrain from providing feedback until the second
part of the activity
•
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Johari Activity: Part 2

Describe your experience of each person based
on what you heard

One person provides feedback first, then the
others each share their feedback for the same
person

Continue until everyone has received feedback
from all participants in your group
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Johari Window: Debrief

Getting yourself known and providing feedback:
• Creates openness, causing a positive impact
on relationship building
• Builds a deeper relationship with others and
differentiates you when building trust and
credibility
• Creates a personal connection with others
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Practice & Feedback: Building
Trusting Relationships Rapidly
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Instructions 1


Organize in trios: 3 roles
Initiator: This person initiates “building a relationship”
with a partner.
 To build a relationship, feel free to talk about your
learning goal for this session.
 Use Johari Window: Experiment with taking off the
mask and asking for feedback
 Ask your partner for first impressions
 Respond to your partner with empathy, probing
questions, and appreciation
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Instructions 1continued

Partner: The initiator will reach out. Be yourself. Say
what you genuinely feel in your responses. When the
initiator discloses or asks for feedback, be authentic.

Observer: Make notes as needed. Be prepared to
give feedback to the initiator. You are also the time
keeper.
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Instructions 2
Three Rounds- Decide who is A, B, & C for first round. Then, rotate
so each person plays each role.
Each round is 20 minutes: 10 minutes for dialogue and 10 minutes for
debriefing and feedback
A-Initiator
B-Partner
C-Observer/Timekeeper
Round 1: A, B, C
Round 2: B, C, A
Round 3: C, A, B
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Instructions 3
Debrief: The Observer leads the debrief - 10 minutes
 Start with the Initiator: What did you do well? What
do you think you can improve?
 The Partner: What did the Initiator do/say that made
you feel “connection” or trust? What did the Initiator
do/say that made you feel distance?
 The Observer gives feedback to the Initiator.
 The behavior I observed that seemed to create
connection or trust was…… The behavior I
observed that may have led to distance in the
relationship was……..
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Tips for Building Trusting
Relationships Rapidly
1.
Positive attitude toward others. People sense how you feel about them. If you
want to change their attitudes, change any negative attitudes you have toward
them.
2.
Be honest. Have I shared the whole truth?
3.
Integrity. Trust is people’s expectation that they can rely on your word.
4.
Give and receive feedback. Ask for feedback from others and embrace
receiving it. Take the risk to give others feedback. Expose your Self by sharing what
is hidden from others – your assumptions, ideas, feelings, etc.
5.
Be willing to be influenced. Be open to the ideas of others and express
appreciation for other’s contributions.
6.
Trust is both rational and emotional.

Logic and expertise are required to earn trust; however, by themselves, rational
elements are not sufficient. Trust is earned with dedication to the other person’s
interests and the courage to challenge without threatening.
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015
Workshop Learnings/Takeaways


What’s one takeaway from this session about
yourself or about building relationships?
 Pairs (2-3 minutes on a side)
Whole group
Change Partners Consulting, Copyright, 2015