Merge Lesson 4
A Powerful Yet Simple Strategy
Nov. 14
Think About It …
• What is the most important thing you learned
from your parents?
Kids say they learned this …
• Never trust a dog to watch your food.
• When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I
look stupid?" don't answer
• When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let
her brush your hair.
• Never let your three-year old brother in the
same room as your school assignment.
Kids say they learned this …
• Never hold a Dustbuster and a cat at the same
time.
• You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of
milk.
• Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white
shorts.
• If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a
horse.
• Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Today …
• Will be looking at God’s Word to see:
– How we intentionally parent our children
– How we live according to the biblical mandate in
Deuteronomy 6.
– Intentional parenting is parenting with a plan,
having an end goal or purpose.
Definitions
• Survival parenting
– Parents do whatever they have to do to make it
through the situation.
• Accidental parenting
– Parents make decisions or choices according to
what is popular in culture without considering if it
is most helpful
• Intentional Parenting
– Parents carefully think through what would be
most beneficial in order to achieve the end goal
Parenting Styles at Work
• Suppose your family is going on a
road trip. What kind of trip would
it be if you got ready and
proceeded on your trip using
one of the above life styles?
We survived the trip
somehow
Good or bad,
it was accidental
Intentionally
planned,
well carried out
Parenting Styles at Work
• Survival parenting
– Parents do whatever they have to do to make it
through the situation.
• For survival parenting, how would the family
– Handle daily homework?
– Choose a movie?
– Get ready for church?
Parenting Styles at Work
• Accidental parenting
– Parents make decisions or choices according to
what is popular in culture without considering if it
is most helpful.
• For accidental parenting, how would the
family
– Shop for clothes?
– Plan a birthday party for a middle school child?
– Get ready for church?
Parenting Styles at Work
• Intentional Parenting
– Parents carefully think through what would be
most beneficial in order to achieve the end goal
• For intentional parenting, how would the
family
– Shop for clothes?
– Choose a movie?
– Handle daily suppertime?
Definitions
Parents do whatever they have to do to
Survival parenting
make it through the situation.
Parents make decisions or choices according
Accidental parenting to what is popular in culture without
considering if it is most helpful.
Parents carefully think through what would
Intentional Parenting be most beneficial in order to achieve the
end goal
Listen for when and how to teach
children.
Deut. 6:4-9 (NIV) Hear, O Israel: The Lord our
God, the Lord is one. [5] Love the Lord your God
with all your heart and with all your soul and
with all your strength. [6] These commandments
that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
[7] Impress them on your children.
Listen for when and how to teach
children.
Talk about them when you sit at home and
when you walk along the road, when you lie
down and when you get up. [8] Tie them as
symbols on your hands and bind them on your
foreheads. [9] Write them on the doorframes of
your houses and on your gates.
God’s Plan for Intentional Parenting
• What were the Israelites supposed to do with
God’s commandments?
• How are parents to teach their children God’s
Word?
• What are some specific situations where we
could talk about spiritual things with our
children within our daily schedules?
• How do we intentionally do these things – not
just wait for them to maybe happen?
God’s Plan for Intentional Parenting
• We probably wouldn’t adopt the Jewish
custom of phylacteries as shown here. What
would be appropriate within our culture that
would accomplish what God intended?
Listen for qualities to pursue.
Philip. 4:8-9 (NIV) Finally, brothers, whatever is
true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable--if anything is excellent or
praiseworthy--think about such things. [9]
Whatever you have learned or received or heard
from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And
the God of peace will be with you.
Put It into Practice
• What are the qualities of wholesome thoughts
mentioned here?
• How can believers enjoy the presence of the
God of peace?
• If you were to do this, in what ways would it
affect your children and grandchildren?
Application
• Carefully consider intentional Christian
lifestyle
– A daily time alone with God – scripture reading,
meditating on what you read, prayer
– Plan for times to use the weekly Faith Moments
– Be on the lookout for teachable moments – in all
situations
Application
• Think about the five stages of spiritual
development and be watching for
opportunities to encourage your children and
grandchildren to progress
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Spiritual Foundation (preschool)
Spiritual Birth (children)
Spiritual Discovery (children/preteen)
Spiritual Ownership (students)
Spiritual Leadership (students)
Application
• Remember that children and grandchildren
learn much from the models they see lived
before them
– Practice the principles you study in small groups
and hear in weekly messages
– Verbalize your faith often
– At the same time, James says, “be quick to listen
and slow to speak”
Merge Lesson 4
A Powerful Yet Simple Strategy
Nov. 14