1.1 Guidance for Discipline, Restraint and Touch
1.1.1
Healthy discipline: principles and practice
Volunteers looking after someone else’s child ought to abide by the following principles:
 Remember: whilst the child may not be used to boundaries and consistency in discipline it
is recognised boundaries and rules are positive for child development and that consistency
is emotionally reassuring and affirming for them.
 Honour the parents/carers, respecting their principles and if possible accommodating their
preferences. This is very important when caring for a child from a different ethnic, cultural
or religious background.
 Talk to the parents/carers if possible to understand home routines and boundaries and to
avoid too much disconnect between the two home environments.
 Be clear about your ‘house rules’, but do reflect before the child comes to stay on whether
any of these need to be adapted or relaxed during the stay.
 Act in accordance with your own values, making judgments you believe are healthy and
safe for the child. Your integrity is positive for the child.
 Try to recognise when you are upset or stressed about something else that may be affecting
your judgment.
 Communicate clearly and consistently regarding consequences of actions.
 Discipline should be specific and proportionate
 Err on the side of grace and ensure that plenty of praise is given.
 Give a child a chance to learn from their mistakes.
Practical pointers for healthy discipline
 Seek to de-escalate first, then when they calm down you can
talk about their behaviour.
 Techniques such as ‘yellow cards’, ‘time-outs’ and removing
certain privileges are more healthy and constructive discipline
options.
 Use distraction tactics and the encouragement of good
behaviour to try to avoid the need for discipline.
 Physical chastisement is not allowed
i.e. smacking of any kind is inappropriate by any SFFC
volunteer with a child in their care.
This includes not smacking your own child when an SFFC
child is staying with you because of possible emotional effects on the hosted child.
 The child may be temporarily restrained by a person physically holding them only if a
danger to themselves or others or a significant threat to property (see next section).
 Never make negative remarks about the child’s family nor about the child themselves.
 Never withdraw essential elements such as food and rest as punishment.
 Never limit contact for the child with their family as discipline.
 Model the behaviour you expect from them!
 Don’t delegate discipline to others.
1.1.2
Restraining a child: Policy and procedure
Most of the children that SFFC volunteers care for are expected to respond well to loving
and consistent discipline.
There may however be times when a child with emotional and behavioural problems becomes
physically dangerous, and this is when restraint i.e. physically holding a child, may be required.
Our policy on restraint is that it must only be used:
 as a last resort and when all other courses of de-escalation have been exhausted.
 when it is necessary to avert an immediate or potential danger of:
- the child injuring themselves
- another person being injured
- serious damage to property
Through proper training, risk management and good communication we hope to:
 minimise both the use and misuse of restraint
and therefore:
 minimise the risk of actions being misinterpreted
 minimise actions being offensive or harmful to a child
Finally, restraint should never be used as a way of ensuring compliance i.e. to make a child do
as they have been asked; or because a volunteer has begun to lose control of their own
temper.
Reporting and Learning
Following any occasion when physical restraint has been used by a volunteer,
 The incident should be recorded by the volunteer using the notes facility within the SFFC
database.
 The Family Coach should be informed, and allowed to query the circumstances and
appropriateness of the actions taken.
 The Family Coach will then advise of how and when the incident should be communicated
to the child’s parent/carer.
 The Family Coach will want to debrief around the nature of the challenging situation that
led to difficulty in discipline and the use of restraint. They will also make a note on the
SFFC database by way of ensuring accountability should there be a complaint raised later.
 If required the volunteer will be offered further training on how to manage challenging
behaviour.
 Those caring for children are advised to talk to their Family Coach about any situation that
was ‘on the edge’ of requiring restraint, so that guidance can be sought to avoid further
escalation of a child’s behaviour in the future.
1.1.3
The use of touch to affirm or comfort a child
Touch is a necessary part of caring for children and is important for their emotional wellbeing
and development.
However:
 Children involved in SFFC may have received inappropriate or confusing touch by
adults and therefore they may be more susceptible to misunderstanding your affection.

Parents being supported by SFFC may also have distorted levels of concern about the
intentions of other adults around their child.
Therefore:

When affectionately touching a child, it is generally appropriate to touch the hand,
shoulder, top of the head or upper back. It is not appropriate to touch a child on any
areas that would be normally covered by a bathing suit.

A child who is upset, crying etc. may be given a comforting hug to help them calm
down and regain composure.

Be careful to avoid any element of touching sensitive or private areas of the body.

Physical affection should be appropriate to the age of the child. For example, it is
generally appropriate for a four-year-old to sit on an adult carer’s knee, but it is not
appropriate for a teenager

Touching should be initiated by the child or. It should be a response to the child’s need
for comfort, encouragement, or affection. It should not be based upon the adult’s
emotional need.

Touching should not give even a hint of wrongdoing. SFFC staff and volunteers must
foster trust at all times and should be above reproach.

If a child is being ‘overly tactile’ in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or you
sense could be misunderstood think about ways to distract them or engage them in a
non-physical activity.

A child’s preference not to be touched should be respected. Do not force affection
upon a reluctant child.