Transcending
Self-interest
PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPLORATIONS
OF THE QUIET EGO
Edited by
Heidi A.Wayment
Jack J. Bauer
DECADE
of BEHAVIOR
AMERICAN
°
PSYCHOLOGICAL
WASH I N G T O N ,
ASSOCIATION
DC
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Quiet Ego Conference (1st: 2005 : Northern Arizona University)
Transcending self-interest: psychological explorations of the quiet ego / edited by Heidi A.
Wayment and Jack J. Bauer.
p. cm. — (Decade of behavior)
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN-13: 978-1-4338-0340-6
ISBN-10:1-4338-0340-2
1. Egoism—Congresses. 2. Self-interest—Congresses. 3. Self—Congresses. I. Wayment,
Heidi A. II. Bauer, Jack J. III. Title.
BJ1474.Q44 2005
155.2'5—dc22
2007039932
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A CIP record is available from the British Library.
Printed in the United States of America
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Transcending Self-interest: Psychological Explorations of the Quiet
Ego
In memory of my father and baby twin sister
—Heidi A. Wayment
To my wife and children
—Jack J. Bauer
Contents
Contributors
xv
Foreword
xvii
Preface
xix
Introduction
Heidi A. Wayment and Jack J. Bauer
1. The Psychology of the Quiet Ego
Jack J. Bauer and Heidi A. Wayment
Part I. Putting the Ego Into Perspective
3
7
21
2. The Lure of the Noisy Ego: Narcissism as a
Social Trap
W. Keith Campbell and Laura E. Buffardi
23
3. A Terror Management Perspective on the Quiet Ego and
the Loud Ego: Implications of Ego Volume Control for
Personal and Social Well-Being
Spec Kosloff, Mark J. Landau, Daniel Sullivan, and
Jeff Greenberg
33
4. In Search of the Optimal Ego: When Self-Enhancement
Bias Helps and Hurts Adjustment
Virginia S. Y. Kwan, Lu Lu Kuang, and Belinda X. Zhao
43
5. Taming the Wild Ego: The Challenge of Humility
Julie Juola Exline
6. From Egosystem to Ecosystem: Implications for
Relationships, Learning, and Weil-Being
Jennifer Crocker
Part II. The Importance of Awareness in Quieting the Ego
7. Beyond Me: Mindful Responses to Social Threat
Kirk Warren Brown, Richard M. Ryan, J. David
Creswell, and Christopher P. Niemiec
8. Individual Differences in Quiet Ego Functioning:
Authenticity, Mindfulness, and Secure Self-Esteem
Michael H. Kernis and Whitney L. Heppner
9.
Self-Compassion: Moving Beyond the Pitfalls of a
Separate Self-Concept
Kristin D. Neff
53
63
73
75
85
95
xii
CONTENTS
10. The Role of Awareness and Autonomy in Quieting the Ego:
A Self-Determination Theory Perspective
Christopher P. Niemiec, Richard M. Ryan, and
Kirk Warren Brown
11. Motivation, Threshold for Threat, and Quieting
the Ego
Holley S. Hodgins
Part III. The Importance of Others in Quieting the Ego
12. Hierarchy Among Selves: An Implication for Relations
With Persons Versus Groups
Lowell Gaertner, Constantine Sedikides, Michelle Luke,
and Jonathan luzzini
107
117
125
127
13. Allo-Inclusive Identity: Incorporating the Social and
Natural Worlds Into One's Sense of Self
Mark R. Leary, Jessica M. Tipsord, and Eleanor B. Tate
137
14. Perspectives on the Self in the East and the West:
Searching for the Quiet Ego
Derrick Wirtz and Chi-yue Chiu
149
15. The Collective and Compassionate Consequences of
Downward Social Comparisons
Heidi A. Wayment and Erin M. O'Mara
159
16. Collective Angst: How Threats to the Future Vitality of
the Ingroup Shape Intergroup Emotion
Michael J. A. Wohl and Nyla R. Branscombe
171
17. Beyond the Individualistic Self: A Framework for
Prosocial Motives and Judgments
M. Audrey Korsgaard and Bruce M. Meglino
183
Part IV. Developmental Perspectives on Quieting the Ego
18. How the Ego Quiets as It Grows: Ego Development,
Growth Stories, and Eudaimonic Personality
Development
Jack J. Bauer
19. Homonegativity and the Lesbian Self: Portraits of the Ego
as Either Transcender or Occluder of Negative Social
Stereotypes
Ed de St. Aubin and Kim Skerven
20.
Self-Development Through Selflessness: The Paradoxical
Process of Growing Wiser
Monika Ardelt
197
199
211
221
CONTENTS
21. Generativity, the Redemptive Self, and the Problem of a
Noisy Ego in American Life
Dan P. McAdams
xiii
235
Author Index
243
Subject Index
253
About the Editors
263
Contributors
Monika Ardelt, PhD, University of Florida, Gainesville
Jack J. Bauer, PhD, University of Dayton, Dayton, OH
Nyla R. Branscombe, PhD, University of Kansas, Lawrence
Kirk Warren Brown, PhD, Virginia Commonwealth University, Richmond
Laura E. Buffardi, MS, University of Georgia, Athens
W. Keith Campbell, PhD, University of Georgia, Athens
Chi-yue Chiu, PhD, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
J. David Creswell, PhD, University of California, Los Angeles
Jennifer Crocker, PhD, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Ed de St. Aubin, PhD, Marquette University, Milwaukee, WI
Julie Juola Exline, PhD, Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH
Lowell Gaertner, PhD, University of Tennessee, Knoxville
Jeff Greenberg, PhD, University of Arizona, Tucson
Whitney L. Heppner, MS, University of Georgia, Athens
Holley S. Hodgins, PhD, Skidmore College, Saratoga Springs, NY
Jonathan luzzini, PhD, Hobart and William Smith Colleges, Geneva, NY
Michael H. Kernis, PhD, University of Georgia, Athens
M. Audrey Korsgaard, PhD, University of South Carolina, Columbia
Spec Kosloff, MA, University of Arizona, Tucson
Lu Lu Kuang, MA, Princeton University, Princeton, NJ
Virginia S. Y. Kwan, PhD, Princeton University, Princeton, NJ
Mark J. Landau, PhD, University of Kansas, Lawrence
Mark R. Leary, PhD, Duke University, Durham, NC
Michelle Luke, PhD, University of Southampton, Southampton, England
Dan P. McAdams, PhD, Northwestern University, Evanston, IL
Bruce M. Meglino, PhD, University of South Carolina, Columbia
Kristin D. Neff, PhD, The University of Texas at Austin
Christopher P. Niemiec, MA, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY
Erin M. O'Mara, MA, University of Tennessee, Knoxville
Richard M. Ryan, PhD, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY
Constantine Sedikides, PhD, University of Southampton, Southampton,
England
Kim Skerven, PhD, Alverno College, Milwaukee, WI
Daniel Sullivan, University of Arizona, Tucson
Eleanor B. Tate, MA, Duke University, Durham, NC
Jessica M. Tipsord, MA, University of Oregon, Eugene
Heidi A. Wayment, PhD, Northern Arizona University, Flagstaff
Derrick Wirtz, PhD, Northern Arizona University, Flagstaff
Michael J. A. Wohl, PhD, Carleton University, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Belinda X. Zhao, Princeton University, Princeton, NJ
Foreword
In early 1988, the American Psychological Association (APA) Science
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was renamed the Decade of Behavior Series to help advance the goals of this
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of Behavior Series has allowed psychological scientists to share and explore
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We are pleased that this important contribution to the literature was supported in part by the Decade of Behavior program. Congratulations to the editors and contributors of this volume on their sterling effort.
Steven J. Breckler, PhD
Executive Director for Science
Virginia E. Holt
Assistant Executive Director for Science
Preface
The past several decades in America have been characterized by a nearly
fanatic preoccupation with "me" and "mine." Western psychology has also been
influenced by this cultural obsession, which has resulted in a relatively onesided representation of human cognition, affect, and behavior as primarily
motivated and enhanced by self-interest. In this volume, we have assembled a
group of contributors whose work focuses on understanding and documenting
what it means to transcend individualistic aspects of the self (e.g., excessive
self-interest, ego defenses). Consequently, this volume recognizes that people
are connected to something larger than the self, explores how they transcend
self-interest and an individualized sense of self, and addresses the benefits
and drawbacks they may encounter as a result. Although ideas related to the
notion that people can transcend the immediacy of their self-interests is not
new, the appearance of these ideas in contemporary psychology has waxed
and waned. Furthermore, the public face of Western psychology has helped
to perpetuate the idea that the self is of utmost importance. The elevation of
self-enhancement goals (of individuals and collectives) over self-transcendent
goals is at the heart of many current social, political, and economic woes.
Thus, the objective for the creation of this volume was to bring more attention
to the empirical study of transcending egoism. Our belief is that this volume
captures the wide variety of research that describes the multifaceted nature
of self-interest and the benefits of the awareness of self-interested concerns as
well as the social, developmental, cognitive, and clinical variables that aid our
understanding of the nature and benefits of regulating and managing these
tendencies for the greater good of self and others. We hope the chapters begin
to capture what is clearly a renewed interest in the scientific investigation of a
wide variety of psychological constructs related to keeping the ego in check.
The impetus for this volume was a 2005 conference entitled "The Quiet
Ego: Implications of a Less Defensive Orientation Toward the Self and Others"; therefore, we would both like to thank all of the conference attendees for
their enthusiasm, the support and collaborative spirits of the authors who have
contributed to this volume, and our "Quiet Ego" team of students who helped
organize the conference: Jenna Hamilton, Lindsay Richerson, Desiree Sharpe,
Jen Shott, and Stephanie Wells. We extend special thanks to Holley S. Hodgins
and Jennifer Crocker for their early support of the conference; their enthusiasm was key in making it a reality. In addition, we are especially grateful to the
American Psychological Association (APA) Science Directorate for its generous
support of the stand-alone conference and to Northern Arizona University for
providing us with significant funding to get it off the ground. Numerous people
at Northern Arizona University arranged financial or other forms of support:
Kathy Cruz-Uribe, Susanna Maxwell, Ramona Mellott, Rob Till, Linda Shadiow, Gypsy Denzine, Janina Burton, Peter Schwepker, Astrid Sheil, and graduate students in Heidi's 2005 and 2006 social psychology seminars. We are very
xx
PREFACE
appreciative of the support of the APA Books Department, particularly Lansing
Hays, Maureen Adams, Genevieve Gill, and Devon Bourexis, and the help of
anonymous reviewers. We also thank all the people in our lives who have been
influential to us in our pursuit of these ideas, who have taught us more than
we could ever hope to return, and who are an inspiration.
I (Wayment) would like to thank my husband, Craig Steele, for his keen
insights, sense of humor, and unwavering support. I also thank my children,
Hannah and Dean; my stepsons, Benjamin and Quinton; my sister, Aleta; my
brother, Mark; my mother and stepfather, Gertrud and Willi Menges; and my
father-in-law, Stanley Steele, for their unique ability to live in the moment.
I (Bauer) wish to express loving gratitude to my wife, Tricia, for her perpetual support, ideas, and patience over the course of organizing the conference and the book. I also thank my children, Jackson and Grace, for their love,
patience, and self-transcendent inspiration. Finally, I extend deep thanks to
my parents, Carolyn and John Bauer, and my uncle, Bud Kramer, for their
support, guidance, and conversations on precisely the topics of this book since
before I can remember.
Finally, we both consider ourselves fortunate to have had the opportunity
to work together on this project and to have had such wonderful mentors,
including Shelley Taylor, Roxane Silver, and Margaret Kemeny (Wayment)
and Dan McAdams, George Bonanno, and Jim Youniss (Bauer). We hope that
researchers, practitioners, and graduate students enjoy the work represented
in each chapter. Taken together, these chapters represent a great deal of empirical research and offer insight into the importance of transcending egoistic
self-interest, methods for studying these processes, and the implications of
doing so.
Transcending
Self-interest
Introduction
Heidi A. Wayment and Jack J. Bauer
Thousands of psychological studies have identified egotism as an important
influence on human behavior. This volume seeks to address the question,
What can research psychologists gain, both in explaining human behavior
and in advancing psychological science, by examining the perspective that
our thoughts, feelings, and actions are also influenced by a need to transcend
egotism? The chapters in this volume, which represent current research from
a variety of disciplines within the field of psychology, including clinical, developmental, industrial/organizational, personality, and social psychology, address this question. These chapters not only reflect a variety of methods and
research orientations but also represent many established and new theoretical perspectives and constructs that are crucial in understanding the importance of transcending egotism.
Overview of Parts
Our challenge was to organize the chapters in a way that captured some of
the main themes that arise when considering a quiet ego. For example, to understand the concept of a quiet ego, we need to first consider the "noisy" ego
and its advantages and disadvantages. Thus, Part I of this volume is entitled
"Putting the Ego Into Perspective." The chapters in Part II, "The Importance
of Awareness in Quieting the Ego," highlight some of the intrapsychic mechanisms that can explain or describe how individuals are able to quiet their
otherwise-egoistic tendencies.
Parts III and IV include chapters that help us ultimately understand
how the quiet ego emerges from our social and developmental contexts. Over
the course of the past few years, we have seen that there is a tendency to juxtapose the concepts of egotism and self-interest with being other-focused and
considering others' needs. One of the important assumptions that cuts across
all of the chapters is that a quieted ego does not imply a negation of self in
favor of the care and concern for others (see also chap. 1). However, we did
want to address the ability of our social and human connections to motivate
and inform a quieted ego. Accordingly, Part III of the volume is entitled "The
Importance of Others in Quieting the Ego." Finally, the chapters in Part IV,
4
WAYMENT AND BAUER
"Developmental Perspectives on Quieting the Ego," address important questions about developmental influences on the creation and maintenance of
both noisy and quiet egos. Next, we briefly describe the chapters in this volume part by part as well as how they fit into two primary perspectives on the
nature of ego quieting.
To facilitate a common thread among the chapters, we asked authors to
respond to two of the following three questions:
1. How do you conceptualize and measure aspects of the quiet ego?
2. What does your work say about the importance and benefits of a
quiet ego?
3. What about the importance and benefits of a not-so-quiet ego?
In the end, we believe we have a collection of chapters that provides the
reader with a rich overview of the current interest among research psychologists about the quieted ego, many well-articulated avenues for future research, and a blueprint for incorporating the ideas of a less defended self into
the mainstream of psychological inquiry and application.
Overview of Chapters
This volume begins with our (Bauer & Wayment, chap. 1) overview of the
quiet ego, its historical and theoretical underpinnings, and a consideration
of why this term may serve as a useful concept to consider a variety of psychological processes today. Beginning with chapter 2, Part I contains five
chapters that highlight some of the advantages and disadvantages of excessive self-focus and self-interest as related to psychological well-being and
adjustment. W. Keith Campbell and Laura E. Buffardi explain in chapter
2 the allure of the noisy ego and, more specifically, how narcissism affords
short-term benefits but long-term costs. Spee Kosloff, Mark J. Landau, Daniel
Sullivan, and Jeff Greenberg detail in chapter 3 how the ideas of quiet and
noisy egos fit within the context of terror management theory and argue that
an authentic existence involves oscillating between both as appropriate; they
also suggest factors that may help achieve that balance. In chapter 4, Virginia S. Y. Kwan, Lu Lu Kuang, and Belinda X. Zhao explain and deconstruct
the concept and measurement of self-enhancement, outlining ways in which
moderation and situational discretion in the use of self-enhancement are key
to understanding adjustment. The last two chapters in Part I not only expand on the benefits and drawbacks of egotism but also go a step further and
propose psychological constructs that may lead to a quieter ego. In chapter
5, Julie Juola Exline contrasts what she calls the "wild" (noisy) ego with the
"humble" (quiet) ego and describes the difficulties and challenges in studying
humility as a potentially important factor in a quiet ego. In chapter 6, Jennifer Crocker closes Part I with her argument that there is a dual motivational
system that encompasses not only the motivation behind noisy ego behaviors
(i.e., egosystem goals) but also the motivation behind supportive and compas-
INTRODUCTION
5
sionate behaviors (i.e., ecosystem goals). All the chapters in Part I describe
both the noisy and the quiet egos, their unique and important contributions
to behavior, and the importance of balance for optimal human functioning.
Part II contains five chapters that focus on the intrapsychic skills and
abilities to reduce egoistic motivation and behaviors, most notably the ability to be an impartial observer of the self, as one integrates awareness with
a secure sense of self and purpose. Part II leads off with chapter 7, by Kirk
Warren Brown, Richard M. Ryan, J. David Creswell, and Christopher P.
Niemiec, who pursue the premise that identification with the self can lead to
its overprotection and that mindfulness, or the ability to be a witness to the
self and all of its processes, is a step to reducing defensiveness. Michael H.
Kernis and Whitney L. Heppner argue in chapter 8 that individuals with a
"strong sense of self" are more likely to reflect quiet-ego tendencies, and they
explain the authentic self in the context of mindfulness and self-esteem. In
chapter 9, Kristin D. Neff describes the concept of self-compassion, or feelings of care and nonjudgmental understanding of the self, and how it stands
in contrast to self-esteem or our cultural valuation of the separate self. Next,
Christopher P. Niemiec, Richard M. Ryan, and Kirk Warren Brown show in
chapter 10 how the autonomous self-regulation of self-determination theory
facilitates intra- and interpersonal harmony, whereas introjecting but not
integrating others' values into one's self-identity makes for a noisier ego. Finally, in chapter 11, Holley S. Hodgins describes in more detail how the selfdetermination theory construct of autonomy provides a motivational basis
for understanding people's ability to take in information in a less biased and
defensive way.
Part III contains six chapters that are devoted to the role that others may
play in quieting the ego, from the extent to which others are incorporated into
the self-concept, to the identification with individuals and groups, to the explicit considerations of others. The first three chapters are primarily focused
on the extent to which others are included in the self-concept. In chapter 12,
Lowell Gaertner, Constantine Sedikides, Michelle Luke, and Jonathan luzzini explore the motivational hierarchy of the individualistic, relational, and
collective selves and which of these might be most conducive in quieting the
ego. Next, in chapter 13, Mark R. Leary, Jessica M. Tipsord, and Eleanor B.
Tate consider the impact of incorporating the larger social and physical world
into the self-concept and describe a new construct they call "allo-inclusive
identity" and its benefits. In chapter 14, Derrick Wirtz and Chi-yue Chiu
review theoretical conceptualizations of the self from Western and Eastern
traditions to explore how incorporating others into the self-concept, as well
as negative emotions, can lead to a more subdued ego. The next two chapters
focus on possible implications of identifying with others on the ego and focus
to some extent on the negative emotions such identification can produce.
Heidi A. Wayment and Erin M. O'Mara argue in chapter 15 that although
the literature on downward social comparisons has found that comparing
oneself with less fortunate others is self-enhancing, the processes of feeling
similar to those others may open the door for collective and compassionate
outcomes that can help quiet the ego. In chapter 16, Michael J. A. Wohl and
6
WAYMENT AND BAUER
Nyla R. Branscombe focus on the dilemma for individuals whose collective
identifications are threatened and suggest ways to reduce the threat to the
collective ego. Finally, M. Audrey Korsgaard and Bruce M. Meglino, drawing
primarily from the literature in industrial/organizational psychology, describe
in chapter 17 the motive of other-interest that is gaining favor in explaining
work-related behaviors and examine the motives and underlying judgment
processes associated with self- and other-interest.
Part IV contains four chapters that emphasize the role of personality
development in quieting the ego. In particular, these chapters focus on the
narrative construction of self-identity, where the individual's subjective interpretations of self and others are compared with broader measures of psychosocial development (thereby merging qualitative and quantitative data). In
chapter 18, Jack J. Bauer presents the case that the ego quiets as it grows,
portraying the developmentally quieter ego as one that interprets the self and
others in increasingly more integrative terms, in addition to more emotionbased forms of growth. Ed de St. Aubin and Kim Skerven outline in chapter 19
how, among self-identified lesbians, a narrative self-identity that transcends
instead of internalizes the social stigmas toward sexual orientation facilitates
psychosocial maturity, well-being, and a range of ego-quieting characteristics. In chapter 20, Monika Ardelt gives a developmental account of wisdom
wherein movement toward higher levels of wisdom and self-actualization correspond to increasing degrees of selflessness—all illustrated with narratives of
people who scored high on her quantitative measure of wisdom. In chapter 21,
Dan P. McAdams paints a rich portrait of how an American prototype of life
stories—the "redemptive self—features the hardships and benefits of quieting the ego over the life course. Here the individual (especially in midlife)
harnesses a range of quiet-ego qualities in constructing a life story that transforms difficulties into opportunities for generativity.
The Psychology of the Quiet Ego
Jack J. Bauer and Heidi A. Wayment
Egotism is in. For the past few decades, it has been okay to "look out for
Number 1," with the assumption that "Number 1" refers to an individualistic
notion of the person—and then mostly in the immediate moment, without regard for the individual's own long-term interests. Advertising and marketing
campaigns feed our cultural obsession with egoistic pursuits, and political and
economic forces help make many self-indulgent behaviors and expectations a
perceived necessity. The burgeoning business of self-help books in pop psychology has contributed to the cultural endorsement of excessive self-interest, selling advice on how to be, or to get, anything one wants.
What is wrong with that? To start, excessive self-interest is not entirely
in the interest of the self: As the chapters in this book demonstrate, the problems of egotism include not only social disharmony but also diminished personal well-being, health, productivity, and self-esteem. Public messages from
academic psychology and the social sciences have taken fierce stands against
unchecked egotism (e.g., Lasch, 1979/1991; Twenge, 2006), have surveyed the
conflicts in American life between self-interest and collective concern (Bellah,
Madsen, Sullivan, Swidler, & Tipton, 1985; Putnam, 2000), and have pointed
down paths of lessened ego investment (e.g., Leary, 2004; Schwartz, 2005).
In addition, the academic and popular interest in positive psychology demonstrates a widespread concern for the problems of egotism and the ways of
transcending it. Finally, the self-help industry is not entirely about selfish gain:
Books on the humanistic, prosocial forms of personal growth have always made
bestseller lists and are still on the rise in that respect (Korda, 2001). Thus, it
is no cultural coincidence that psychological research has recently emerged to
examine the transcendence of self-interest. We use the terms the quiet ego and
quieting the ego to connote the individual who routinely transcends egotism as
well as the need to turn down a few notches the booming volume of egotism, on
both individual and cultural levels.
The blossoming of research on transcending self-interest has grown in
scattered patches across the vast field of psychology. With this book we hope
to provide a unifying source and framework for understanding and advancing
this research. In this chapter, we introduce this research as a new area of scientific inquiry, provide a framework for understanding the empirical research on
the quiet ego, sketch psychology's historical interests in quieting the ego, and
finally, point to current research and future directions that we find especially
8
BAUER AND WAYMENT
exciting. By way of preview, researchers tend to take one of two approaches to
conceptualizing the quiet ego: (a) as a balance between the interests of the self
and others or (b) as the development of self-awareness, interdependent identity, and compassionate experience.
The Quiet Ego as a Topic of Empirical Inquiry
This chapter and book are an attempt to give a name to the theoretically disparate research programs that aim toward understanding how people transcend
egotism. Rooted in the earliest underpinnings of psychology and philosophy,
academic interest in quieting the ego is not new. Most recently, the positive
psychology movement has cleared a path for empirical research on quieting
the ego. Many of positive psychology's interests deal with quieting the ego,
notably forgiveness, gratitude, mutual love, courage, responsibility, altruism,
and tolerance (e.g., Snyder & Lopez, 2001). As we discuss later in this chapter,
the range of topics dealing with quieting the ego is vast. However, underlying
all this research is a central focus on how the individual interprets the self and
others—in particular, how the individual might arrive at a less defensive, more
integrative stance toward the self and others.
In our struggle to find a unifying language for this area of research, we
sought a term that conveyed the concerns of scientific psychology as well as
the culture at large. To us, the term quiet ego conveys the notion that the
core problems of egotism deal with the individual's screaming for attention
to the self. Far from meaning a "squashed" or "lost" ego, we see in the quiet
ego a self-identity that is not excessively self-focused but also not excessively
other-focused—an identity that incorporates others without losing the self.
In addition, the phrase quieting the ego conveys the sense of process we were
seeking.
Meanings of Ego and Quiet Ego
In thinking about the contents of this book on quiet-ego topics, we learned that
there were several interpretations of what a quiet ego might be. Some interpreted a quiet ego as a fragile, squashed, or unwillingly silenced ego. Others
thought of the "strong, quiet type"—a person who has a self-confidence born of
self-understanding and feels no need to talk in depth about things. This latter interpretation is a little closer to the meaning of quiet ego in this volume,
although the physical strength and loquaciousness of the individual are not of
particular concern.
To us, the relatively quieter ego listens to others as part of a psychosocial
harmony, whereas the noisier ego tunes others out as one would tune out background noise. The quieter ego is attuned to internal rhythms of people's (including the self's) psychological dynamics, whereas the noisier ego is attuned
more to the clamoring boom of people's external appearances. The quieter ego,
compared with the noisier ego, has more balance and integration of the self and
others in one's concept of the self, a balanced recognition of one's strengths and
weaknesses that paves the way for personal growth, and a greater compassion
for the self and others. The quieter ego is less under the spell or the "curse"