SafeZone Certification Program
Best Advice on the
Use of Labels and Names
Resist "clumping."
It's tempting, but if you consciously work to learn about the
whole person and get beyond putting that individual in a group,
you may be surprised. All (fill in the blank) are not alike.
Put the extra energy into learning about people, especially
their names.
One researcher said that your name is the most important word
in the English language. Multiply that by all the languages
around the world. Make an honest effort to pronounce
someone's name correctly.
Notice how individuals refer to themselves, and use their
terms.
Then, don't assume that the next person will prefer the same
label. You may need to adjust and personalize your thinking.
Give yourself grace.
You won't always know what is correct and you may make a
mistake in someone's eyes. Offer a sincere apology and ask
what term the individual prefers.
Ask in order to learn.
What a great way to make human connections that make a
difference around diversity! Get beyond the surface stuff to
really understand who others are.
Adapted from www.ProGroup.com
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Copyright (c) 2013 Gay Alliance
www.gayalliance.org
Respectfully Communicating With
LGBTQ People
•
If you think your question might be too personal, it
probably is. Check yourself by asking if you would ask
a non-LGBTQ person the same question.
•
Forgive yourself if you make a mistake. Offer a sincere apology and ask what
term, name or pronoun the individual prefers. There are no expiration dates
on apologies.
•
Try not to make assumptions about people’s sexual orientation and gender
identity, or treat them as one and the same. One has to do with who we are
attracted to and the other is how we identify ourselves as a man, a woman,
neither or both. (Hint: Gay men do not really want to be women.)
•
Mirror the terms that people use for themselves and their loved ones. Do not
label people or assume that the next person will prefer the same terms.
•
Don’t ask someone when they “decided” that they were LGBTQ. Don’t
assume that being LGBTQ is a choice or a “lifestyle.” The only choice people
make is whether to hide who they are or live openly and freely.
•
Our tone is as important as our words. Speak from the heart and your
message will be clear, even if you get the words wrong.
•
Remember that LGBTQ equality is not about what we do in the bedroom. It
is about being authentic. It’s about not having to lie or hide. It’s about living,
loving and expressing ourselves freely and openly, and that affects us all.
Fine Tuning Our Language
Different people prefer different terms, but in general, the terms listed below on the
left should be replaced by the terms on the right. It is a respectful place to begin.
Gay Lifestyle to LGBTQ Community or Gay Lives
Hermaphrodite to Intersex
Homosexual to Gay
Transgenders to Transgender People or Trans Individuals
Sexual Preference to Sexual Orientation
Transvestite to Cross Dresser