January 2, 2014
My brothers and sisters in Christ,
I am writing this letter to conclude St. Andrew’s process of discernment regarding the Blessing of SameSex Relationships. As you know, the Episcopal Church in 2012 authorized the provisional use of the
liturgy of Witnessing and Blessing of a Lifelong Covenant. Dioceses throughout the Episcopal Church
were given discretion as to whether or not they would offer this. Bishop Curry in late 2012 gave
permission to churches to discern whether, in each context where they carried out their ministry, they
would offer this liturgy to gay and lesbian members of their parishes.
After a year of discernment within the vestry and a six-month process of wider discussion throughout
the church, your vestry and I have decided that St. Andrew’s is indeed called to include this liturgy as
part of the pastoral care of its members.
In our conversations on the vestry and throughout the parish, we explored many of the scriptural,
theological, and liturgical issues surrounding the blessing of same-sex relationships. We did not find
unanimity, nor did we expect to. We found strong emotions and deeply-felt beliefs. We also found a
level of exhaustion about “dealing with this issue” expressed by folks on different sides.
Our clear desire – and I do believe this was consistent across the parish – was to be first and foremost
the Body of Christ. Our desire to be a community of love and mutual respect seemed to be preeminent,
and while it established a healthy framework for our process I think it also made many of us a bit shy
about discussing publicly issues around which we can disagree, and which can be so powerful and
intimate for members of our community.
While members of the vestry also had strong feelings about this that spanned the spectrum of
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perspectives on same-sex blessings, our task was to set those feelings within the wider question of
whether or not this was the right thing for St. Andrew’s to offer at this time.
A great many people offered their perspective throughout the process, either in our wider sessions or in
conversations with me or with vestry members. A strong majority believed that this was the right thing
to do. A few did not. Others were grieved that the service we have been given permission to use is a
service of blessing and not a service of marriage.
In our faithful diversity and willingness to explore issues of difference, we are being true to our tradition.
As Episcopalians, we are a part of that peculiar blend of devotion to scripture, active discernment and
sacramental practice that is Anglicanism. Within a framework of scriptural and reasoned catholicism, an
ethos of mutual responsibility, and under the authority of our Bishops, it is a characteristic of
Anglicanism “to encourage personal discovery, intellectual freedom, and respect for the conscience of
the individual.” i
Practically, in the words of Bishop Neil Alexander, this means that in the Anglican tradition “we got over
the need to agree with one another centuries ago.” (Here I think we see one of the life-giving charisms
of the Episcopal church, one for which I believe our world hungers.) He continues, “One of the glories of
our way of being faithful is to hold together, in creative tension, a cacophony of diverse voices, a rich
continuum of temperaments, and almost as many ways of knowing as there are things to be known.”ii
Yet this openness takes place within the distinct theological framework that forms, for lack of a better
term, the scaffolding on which we build the church. That scaffolding is primarily expressed through the
liturgies which bind us together each week and throughout the year. That scaffolding is also expressed
through the Outline of the Faith and the historical documents of the church, all of which are readily
available in the Book of Common Prayer on pages 844-878. (The next time the sermon is boring, just
pick up your BCP and take a look.)
The intention of our parish-wide discernment has been to comprehensively explore the question of
same-sex blessings within the framework of our faith and our tradition. This process included large
group sessions in which we were invited to share hopes and fears, as well as personal stories regarding
homosexuality and the experience of gays and lesbians in the church. We offered a four-week course on
Scripture and Sexuality, in which we took a closer look at the passages that discuss homosexuality and
explored the Anglican approach to scriptural interpretation. We offered classes on the theology of
covenant, the history of the Episcopal Church regarding inclusion of gay and lesbian persons in the
sacramental life of the church, the shape of the Liturgy of Blessing itself, and the pastoral care of samesex households. We also had cottage groups in which people could share their stories in a more
intimate setting.
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Though we have come to a decision, I believe that the fact that we were willing to have this
conversation was more important than any decision itself. In the six months since we began this
conversation publicly, what has surprised me the most has been the number of newcomers to our
parish who have either come to our church because we were having this conversation, or who simply
thanked us for doing so. In the past few years many “new” people who have come to St. Andrew’s have
done so because of its faithful expression of welcome and inclusion. Some of these folks are gay. Most
are not. This says something to me about why people are drawn to St. Andrew’s.
When we are able to engage one another faithfully and respectfully, and in a way that expresses our
willingness to be transformed by the other, we live and embody the spirit of discipleship and apostolic
fellowship about which we speak so often. Our actions match our words, and I believe that people are
looking to be a part of a church whose actions match its words.
Again, that doesn’t mean we all agree. Our General Convention has said formally what we as Anglicans
have practiced throughout our history: “those on various sides of controversial issues have a place in
the church.”iii What it does mean is that we regard our commitment to being the Body of Christ as being
the very thing that binds us together as a church. We are not a liberal or a conservative church; we are
the Body of Christ. We are imperfect, yet we are faithful, and our responsibility to one another is what
gives shape to our community.
I give thanks for St. Andrew’s, and I consider it a great blessing to serve with you and to have shared this
process with you and your Vestry. I continue to be available to each of you for further conversation, and
look forward to growing in faith and discipleship with each and every one of you.
Yours in Christ,
The Rev. Bernard J. Owens
Rector
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i
J. Neil Alexander, This Far By Grace: A Bishop’s Journey Through Questions of Homosexuality, Lanham, Maryland:
Cowley, 2003. p. 4
ii
Alexander, p. 3
iii
The General Convention of the Episcopal Church, 2000, Resolution 2000-D039