We think out of the box to live with differences
“It takes 8 healthy inputs
to receive 1 healthy OUTPUT”
S.M.A.R.T. Chance to Grow Program
What do you want to achieve?
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To get to a dream takes many very tiny steps...
Each step can have a plan to achieve...
Take your time and do one step at a time
Celebrate a step’s success.
Sometimes along the path to the dream the dream changes
and that is okay
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Specific — Take time to answer—who, what, where, when, how come?
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Measurable — How will I know I am getting this done
Attainable — Can you do this alone or do you need others? Will I need a cognitive
translator to help me? What do I need to do to help make this happen.
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Relevant — Does this goal fit with your dream.
Timeframe — Give yourself process steps to complete – you don’t have to set a date. Jump
in and begin – you have a lifetime to continue working on this
Now get S.T.A.R.T.ed
FASD START Steps to Learning –
taught to Jodee Kulp by Ben-Cher’s Makone of Knarlwoods
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Review – check it out!
Watch only – "Watch me do this.”
Watch – experience "Watch me and you can help.”
Experience – watch "This time you can try it.”
Experience – show "Wow, you can do it! Show me how.”
Let go – "You can do it! I don't think you will need me much.”
"I can do it!”
"I did it!”
www.betterendings.org www.braidedcord.net Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at [email protected]
We think out of the box to live with differences
Progressive Muscle Relaxation Simplified
What if you could have a FREE ‘liquid relaxation’ poured on your head and down your body.
You can use this to de-stress any time.
Here's How:
1. Find a quiet place
2. Make yourself comfortable
3. Tense all the muscles in your face. Inhale and count to eight.
4. Now exhale and let your face go completely soft like when you sleep.
5. Enjoy the feeling.
6. Tense your neck and shoulders. Inhale and count to eight.
7. Exhale and relax.
8. Tense your tummy and chest. Inhale and count to eight.
9. Exhale and relax.
10.Tense your butt, legs and feet. Inhale and count to eight.
11.Exhale and relax.
Caregivers Stand on the Rock
Life has escalated and negative energy is flowing. Think of this as a safety space for the
mind, soul and body of both you and the person you care about.
Here's How:
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Visualize yourself standing on a rock in the middle of the desert or ocean
Relax and accept where you are
Listen to the person speaking to you through the presence of the rock
Hear the reality of what the person is trying to communicate
Speak to the rock asking for guidance and wisdom in your next behaviors
Wait. Stay calm. Stay at peace.
Validate what you heard.
Example:
“Given what you went through in the ______(event, experience), it’s understandable
you’d feel ________ when someone __________.”
www.betterendings.org www.braidedcord.net Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at [email protected]
We think out of the box to live with differences
Autogenic Training
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Find a quiet place without distraction.
Lie down or sit.
Loosen tight clothing and take off glasses or contacts.
Rest your hands on your lap or tummy.
Take a few slow breaths.
Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
ARMS
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Think about your arms – say softly "My arms are very heavy."
Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
Think about your arms - "My arms are very warm."
Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
Repeat this five more times.
LEGS
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Think about your legs – say softly "My legs are very heavy."
Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
Think about your legs - "My legs are very warm."
Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
Repeat this five more times.
HEART
1. Think about your heart – say softly "My heartbeat is calm and regular."
2. Softly and slowly say to yourself - "I am calm."
3. Repeat this five more times.
BREATHING
1. Think about your breathing – say softly "My breathing is calm and regular."
2. Softly and slowly say to yourself - "I am calm."
3. Repeat this five more times.
TUMMY
1. Think about your tummy – say softly "My tummy is warm,"
2. Softly and slowly say to yourself - "I am calm."
3. Repeat this five more times.
FOREHEAD
1. Think about your forehead – say softly "My forehead is happy and cool,"
2. Softly and slowly say to yourself - "I am calm."
3. Repeat this five more times.
Enjoy the feeling of relaxation, warmth and heaviness. When you are ready, softly say to
yourself, "Arms firm, breathe deep, open eyes
www.betterendings.org www.braidedcord.net Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at [email protected]
We think out of the box to live with differences
Teaching Healthy Advocacy and Assertiveness
Practice these tips:
1. Don’t believe you know what the intention of the person if you think it is negative.
2. Project a receptive but confident body - stand straight, relax and gain eye
contact.
3. Use a pleasant tone.
4. Listen and ask questions! It’s important to understand the other person’s point of
view as well.
5. Think win-win. Is there a compromise to get both needs met?
Here's How:
1. Describe situation clearly without labels, exaggeration or judgment
“When you [their behavior-just the fact no labels, exaggeration, judgment], I feel
[your feelings].”
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“When you yell, I feel attacked.”
“When you arrive late, I have to wait, and I feel frustrated.”
2. Describe what is the effect of the behavior
“We were suppose to meet at 12:00, but now it is 12:30.
We will have less time together because I have to be back at one.”
“We were suppose to meet at 12:00, but now it is 12:30.
We will have to eat at a fast food place because I have to be back at one.”
3. Use “I Messages”.
Starting a sentence with “You” comes off as a judgment or attack, It puts people on
the defensive. Start with “I” so the focus is on how you are feeling and how you are
affected by the behavior. This way you own your reaction. Listen to the difference:
“You need to stop that!”
vs “I’d like it if you’d stop that” vs “Stop.”
www.betterendings.org www.braidedcord.net Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at [email protected]
We think out of the box to live with differences
Happiness Makers & Ideas to relieve stress
Things that bring happiness also relieve stress
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Exercise – am I having fun
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Pets
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Expressing creativity – do I enjoy this
o gardening
o knitting or crocheting
o drawing or painting
o journaling
o cooking
o puzzles
o photography
o scrapbooking
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Supportive friendships – ask yourself
o Can I speak easily and safely to this person?
o Do I think they understand, accept and support me?
o Do I understand, accept and support them?
o Do I feel better or worse about me when we are together?
o When I go home am I happy or stressed?
o Do I include them in my life for positive qualities or just to have more
people in my life?
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Keeping an organized home – who can help me and what can I do
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Purposeful life activities
o helping a person or animal
o working or making a difference in a cause you believe in
o learning something new
– does it bring me joy or overwhelm me
aquariums
dog
cat
bird
small animals
reptiles
www.betterendings.org www.braidedcord.net Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at [email protected]
We think out of the box to live with differences
Almost and Free Fun
Too
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cold or wet for indoor fun
Bake cookies and share with your favorite people. Learn to make a new food dish with a friend,
Host an open mic night – brew some fancy coffee – there are great flavors and you
can do decaf. Give each person mic time to share – poetry – rap – testimony. Push
back the living room furniture – put an aerobics class DVD in the player, find one
on Netflix or Exercise TV
4. Building stuff is fun - have a snow-building contest, a sand-building contest or get
some blocks or Legos. It's even more fun when you're trying to win something.
5. Have a board or card game night. Invite friends to bring over their favorite games
and teach everyone to play.
Community events
1. Try something new – look in your community for free festivals, shows, walks, open
houses and museum exhibits.
2. Visit a farmers market
3. Visit a local outdoor art fair
4. Visit a flea market
5. Visit a museum. Most museums have a day or two out of the week that's free to
everyone - check your city guide to see what's going on by you. 6. Check out the library for free workshops, events or classes.
7. Attend a free concert in your local park
Nice day for outdoor fun
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Go to the park and play on the jungle gym, slides and swings.
Go sledding down a nearby hill. No sled? Use a clean plastic garbage can lid,
cardboard box or black garbage bag. Learn about Letter Boxing or Geo Caching
Take a dog for a long walk. If you don't have a dog, borrow one from a neighbor.
Your neighbor (and the dog) will appreciate it.
Go on a hike and stop somewhere pretty to write poetry, take photos with your
phone or draw a picture.
Go to the beach, lake or river. Walk the shore, pick up fun things you find, skip
rocks in the water. Watch the waves or ripples
Play basketball in your driveway, in the park, school's playground or anywhere
else you can find a hoop—play horse. Play tennis or volley ball at free public park court in a public park.
Play a classic games, like four square, tag, kick the can, kick ball, red rover.
Ride your bike. Pick your own route.
Ice skate or Ice fish
Ride your bike. Join a Critical Mass bike ride scheduled once a month in 300 cities
around the world. Examples below to check out.
 Duluth, MN (w) The last Friday of each month, 5:30pm at the statue of Leif Erickson.
www.betterendings.org www.braidedcord.net Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at [email protected]
We think out of the box to live with differences
Cooperative Cleaning and Up-Cycling
1. Up-cycle an old pairs of jeans you never wear into a tote bag
2. Get together with friends to share nail polish and unused makeup
3. Using old magazines – make a collage card or poster for a friend or yourself
4. Paint an old dresser in fun colors
5. Work with a friend to clean a closet, room or yard
6. Go to Pinterest and find a fun upcycle, do it yourself project you would like to try
7. Share in a not-very fun chore with a family member or friend
8. Bath a dog or muck a kennel
9. Rake or weed a garden
TV, computer, smart phones, tablets
1. Make up a good lie wth Fibbage, like You Don't Know Jack Party, uses
smartphones and tablets as game controllers while linking up with the Fire TV for
big-screen multiplayer sessions. In it, up to eight players trick one another by
filling in the blanks of trivia statements with lies as they see fit. Each round of
play lasts seven questions and includes special categories like "Celebrity Tweets"
and "Road Trip."
2. Borrow a couple of movies from the library. If you don’t like them – who cares
they were FREE. 3. Trade video games with a friend for a couple of nights or invite some friends over
to play video games.
4. Watch episodes your favorite TV shows from when you were a kid. www.Hulu.com
has a ton of shows from the past 20 years, and they're all free to watch. There's
nothing to download and nothing to pay. Using Hulu couldn't be easier. Just log on
to hulu.com; choose a show or movie that you'd like to watch; click play; and the
video will load in Flash Player.
5. Watch a flip through the stations sporting or competition event. Make it
interesting by "betting" on who's going to win. Whoever's right gets to pick the
next activity.
6. Play some online games with friends or by yourself at http://www.pogo.com
Pogo.com is a free online gaming website that offers over 100 casual games from brands like
Hasbro and PopCap Games. It offers a variety of card and board Solitaire, Monopoly,
Puzzles, Sports and Scrabble.
Un-shopping adventures
1. Visit the mall or grocery store with $5.00 and see who can score the best deal or
deals with such a little amount of money.
2. Visit the mall. See who can get the most things for FREE WITHOUT STEALING!
(make-up samples, perfume samples, coupons)
3. Visit a department store and have a free make-up makeover – if you don’t have
any money for the make-up you REALLY like – take a selfie photo and a picture of
the make up with price to save up for later.
4. Find a safe place to sit and people watch – mall, public area, park- get. 5. Host a clothes swap with friends and create new outfits.
6. Host a make a meal day and split it between friends.
www.betterendings.org www.braidedcord.net Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at [email protected]
We think out of the box to live with differences
Our gift to YOU for attending workshop
Direct links to books by Better Endings
Enter 20% COUPON CODE D98JMDVC
The Best I Can Be Living with FASD by Liz Kulp
https://www.createspace.com/3483886
Our FAScinating Journey Keys to Brain Potential by Jodee Kulp
https://www.createspace.com/3579462
Braided Cord Tough Times In and Out by Liz Kulp
https://www.createspace.com/3436934
Nuzzle – Love between a Boy and his Service Dog by Donnie Kanter Winokur
https://www.createspace.com/3695915
My Invisible World – My Brother, His Disability and His Service Dog by Morasha Winokur
https://www.createspace.com/3769532
The Whitest Wall by Jodee Kulp
https://www.createspace.com/3497641
Broken Heart – Dealing with Feelings of Loss and Understanding Grief
https://www.createspace.com/4079420
www.betterendings.org www.braidedcord.net Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at [email protected]