“AWAKENING THE GIFTS OF
CHARACTER
Creating A Culture of
Caring & Compassion
An Introduction to
The Five Strategies™ of
The Virtues Project™
WELCOME
HOUSEKEEPING
Bathrooms
Refreshments
Lunch
Cell PhonesCan Download Reflection & Educator
Cards
WHO ARE THE PRESENTERS?
Terry Rahn
Bobbie Lotz
Bonnie Hansen
Facilitators of
The Virtues Project™
What is The Virtues Project?
A global grassroots initiative
that is transforming the
culture of homes, schools,
organizations and communities,
through awakening virtues, our
gifts of character using five
simple strategies!
What are virtues?
They’re what is good in us
The gifts of our character
The qualities of our spirit
Our inner strengths
Virtues: The Gifts of Character
Assertiveness
Caring
Cleanliness
Commitment
Compassion
Confidence
Consideration
Cooperation
Courage
Courtesy
Creativity
Detachment
Determination
Diligence
Enthusiasm
Excellence
Flexibility
Forgiveness
Friendliness
Generosity
Gentleness
Helpfulness
Honesty
Honor
Humility
Idealism
Integrity
Joyfulness
Justice
Kindness
Love
Loyalty
Moderation
Modesty
Orderliness
Patience
Peacefulness
Perseverance
Purposefulness
Reliability
Respect
Responsibility
Self-discipline
Service
Tact
Thankfulness
Tolerance
Trust
Trustworthiness
Truthfulness
Understanding
Unity
Perfect in Potential
We look like this,
with all the virtues inside!!!
Yale Infant Mental Health
• Moral Life of Babies by Paul Bloom (2010)
(Psychology Professor at Yale)
• Babies possess certain moral foundations —
the capacity and willingness to judge the actions
of others, some sense of justice, gut responses to
altruism and nastiness. Regardless of how smart
we are, if we didn’t start with this basic
apparatus, we would be nothing more than
amoral agents, ruthlessly driven to pursue our
self-interest.
Moral Molecule by Paul Zak
OXYTOCIN INCREASES-
• Trust, Trustworthiness
• Empathy, Generosity
Inhibiting Oxytocin-
Increases Stress
Decreases Nurturing
Amy Cuddy- Body Image
Fake it until you BECOME it!
Increases Testosterone &
Decreases Cortisol
(Increases Assertiveness &
Confidence & Peacefulness)
Increases Stress & Anxiety
Decreases Testosterone &
Increases Cortisol –
Decreases Assertiveness &
Confidence
Our human physiology is
designed to help us grow
virtues so we can live in
society!
Based on Four Key Principles
 The parent is the primary educator of the child.
 Children are born in potential. Their natural qualities
can develop into positive or negative traits depending
on how they are educated in the early years.
 Character develops as children learn to make
responsible, moral choices.
 Self-esteem is a natural outcome of living by virtues.
Every Child Is Born In Potential
Just as a seed is a
specific tree in
potential,
a child is a particular,
fully independent
human being,
in potential.
Virtues
Is it ever too late?
NO!!
It is NEVER too late to begin
and it’s NEVER too early…
For Teachers Is this an add on curriculum?
NO!
This is not one more thing to add to your
tightly scheduled day.
You INFUSE these strategies into what
you are already doing to strengthen
your tools and achieve enhanced results!
OUR GOALS FOR THIS WORKSHOP
To awaken your virtues
To teach you to see these gifts in others
To have you experience the Five
Strategies™
To inspire you to apply these strategies
in your professional and personal lives
What are our expectations?
•
Give your best to each activity
•
Follow the directions for each
exercise
•
Finish activities within allotted time
frame
•
Follow the boundaries that we
establish
The A.R.T. of Boundaries
Assertiveness
Do what is right for you
Respect
Be deeply present without advising,
interrupting, rescuing, criticizing, teasing
Trust
Be worthy of trust. What we say here stays
here.
INTERACTIVE INTRODUCTION
1. Pick one partner.
2. Choose who will be partner 1.
3. Partner 1 ask partner 2 all the
questions, listening for their virtues.
4. Partner 1 acknowledge partner 2 for
virtues you saw and heard. Write
virtue on name tag. Switch
VIRTUE + EXAMPLE = VIRTUES
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
WRITE the virtues you
saw on the Gem Tags!
What did you
appreciate about
this activity?
What do
you hope
to gain from
this workshop?
THE FIVE
STRATEGIES
• Speak the Language
• Recognize Teachable Moments
• Set Clear Boundaries
• Honor the Spirit
• Offer Companioning
TM
CONGRATULATIONS!
You have already
practiced all five
strategies!!
Dr. Dan Popov
Linda Kavelin-Popov
John Kavelin
THE HISTORY
• Launched in1991
• Three people
• Response to school shooting and youth
violence in the US 1989
• Began as a parenting program
• Virtues the common thread
• Soon discovered universal application
Strategy One
SPEAK THE
LANGUAGE OF
VIRTUES
SPEAK VIRTUES LANGUAGE
Words are powerful
Virtues Words speak straight to
the heart
Focus on virtues, the intent of the
behavior we want.
Speak the Language - Acknowledge
Speak the Language - Guide
Speak the Language - Correct
• Speak the Language Exercise
• Work in groups of 4-5
Encourage
Mastery
Encourage
Meaning
Name a Virtue
A Rainbow of Respect
Create Visual Symbols
Whisper Circle !!
ACT With TACT
TM
Make a virtues “positivity
sandwich”
A
e
g
d
e
l
w
ckno
Thank
ACTIVITY
RENAME
AND REFRAME
Rename - Reframe
• Behavior that CHALLENGES you
• Rename the behavior as a VIRTUE
• What is the Virtue you want?
Strategy Two
RECOGNIZE
TEACHABLE
MOMENTS
TEACHABLE MOMENTS ARE
OPPORTUNITIES TO…
help virtues grow
see virtues in any situation
virtues that need to be practiced
virtues that are happening
remember, there is always a virtue
In Teachable Moments
Stop Shaming
Start Naming
Virtues
ence
l
l
e
Exc
What Destroys Conscience?
• Shaming
• Name-calling
• Beating or hitting
• Over-protecting
• Over-punishing
• Ignoring effort
• Lack of clear boundaries
What Builds Conscience?
• Naming virtues
• Clear boundaries
• The opportunity for
reparation
• Acknowledging effort
The A.R.T. of Boundaries
Assertiveness
Do what is right for you
Respect
Be deeply present without advising,
interrupting, rescuing, criticizing, teasing
Trust
Be worthy of trust. What we say here stays
here.
DARKEST MOMENT/SHINING HOUR
•Describe one of your darkest
moments personally or professionally.
What virtues were needed?
•Describe one of your shining hours.
What virtues were involved?
•Give your partner a virtues
acknowledgement.
What did you
appreciate about
this activity?
Summary
• Connect virtues with
academic & life lessons.
• Catch the doing it right
& acknowledge effort.
• Use virtues, not labels
• Use time out
constructively to have
child focus on virtue
needed.
• Help people learn which
virtues balance each
other – ex: Truthfulness
& Tact
• Recognize teachable
moments
• Involve the family –send
home Virtues
Acknowledgments
Strategy Three
SET CLEAR
BOUNDARIES
Boundaries Keep Us Safe
Clear boundaries are
needed when we
have a problem.
Clear boundaries are
needed to create a
safe and peaceful
learning environment.
Do our boundaries
address the problem?
If
the answer is “no”?need to change it?
HOW TO SET A CLEAR BOUNDARY
What virtues are needed?
How do they need to be
practiced? Be specific.
What are the consequences for
not following through?
Guidelines for Establishing
Clear Boundaries
1. Be Moderate
2. Be Specific
3. Be Positive - Virtues Based
4. Have Specific, Relevant Consequences
5. Make Consequences Educative
6. Be Consistent
7. Communicate Rules Clearly
8. Be Sure Consequences are Understood
9. Make Bottom Line Rules Non-Negotiable
10. Make Expectations Clear
OUR CLASS/FAMILY COMMITMENT
• We are peaceful with our words and our
actions.
• We are gentle with people and things.
• We are respectful of people and things.
• We are enthusiastic learners and always work
with excellence.
TRI-FOLD ACTIVITY
• Fold a sheet of paper into thirds
• Scribble in the left section, draw a small
square in the middle section, draw a large
oval in the right section
• Each section represents a different family
of origin. Write down words in each
section to describe their family rules.
PRACTICE BOUNDARY WRITING
• Write a boundary for work
• Remember, first identify the virtue that is
needed.
Boundaries are found in …
Vision statements
Mission statements
Policies
Discipline Plans
Progress Reports
Family Rules
Evaluations
Create a Virtues-Based Vision
Statement
At Emerson School we
are Committed to
Tolerance and Unity
creatinga Peaceful
atmosphere in which to
strive for Excellence
And when the boundaries are
violated…
PRACTICE
RESTORATIVE
JUSTICE
In Retributive Justice You are
a Detective Asking …
•What was the crime?
•Who did it?
•How should they be punished?
In Restorative Justice You are a
Mentor Asking All Involved…
•What happened?
•Who was hurt?
•What virtues were needed?
•What amends can be made?
Restorative Justice
Namingvirtues, not Shaming
Mentorship, not Censorship
Reflection, not rejection
Restitution, not retribution
Summary
• Base discipline on
restorative justice
• Use authority in service
of learning
• Make virtues the
reference point for
discipline
• Find the natural
boundary
• Keep class size
manageable
• Create student Peace
Squads to keep your
school safe
Strategy Five
OFFER
COMPANIONING
OFFER COMPANIONING
This is the strategy that
you use when someone
else has a problem.
Compassion & Detachment
• Compassion is understanding & caring when
someone is hurt or troubled. It is wanting to
help, even if all you can do is listen and say
kind words.
• Detachment is experiencing your feelings
without letting them control. You choose how
to react instead of just reacting. You use
thinking & feeling together.
Offer Companioning to…
Getting to the
Heart of the Matter
What It Is and What It Is Not
Is Not
A Fix
A Rescue
Curing
Advice
Sympathy
Telling
Victim-based
Is
Walk Along
Respect
Caring
Presence
Compassion & Detachment
Listening
Virtues-based
Don’t Get Furious.
Get Curious!
THE MAGIC WORDS
WHAT
&
HOW
STEPS in the PROCESS
1. Open the Door
2. Offer receptive silence
3. Ask cup-emptying questions
4. Focus on perceptual cues (Heart of
Matter)
5. Ask Virtues reflection questions
6. Ask closure & integration questions
7. Offer Virtues acknowledgments
Topics for Offering Companioning
• Something on my mind lately(an unresolved situation…a joyful situation….)
• A challenge or concern in my life
• Something I’m excited about
• Something working on- (ex: what color to
paint kitchen…. What to do on vacation…)
Spirit Walk
• Go outside- walk slowly & contemplatively,
allowing your attention to become diffuse,
open to whatever is drawn to you. (? Leaf, sky,
fence….)
• Spend at least 10 minutes with it
contemplatively then journal about what gift
it has for you
• Share with someone–Offer Companioning
What did you
appreciate about
this activity?
Summary
• Be fully present
• Don’t try to fix or
rescue
• Use the magic words
“What” and “How”
• Prepare yourself by
using Compassion &
Detachment
• Set boundaries about
your time & attention
• Use companioning to
diffuse anger
• Use companioning for
conflict resolution,
problem solving &
strategic planning
Strategy Four
HONOR
THE SPIRIT
WHAT HONORS YOUR SPIRIT
What brings you joy?
What inspires you?
What renews your spirit?
What gives you energy?
What
Recreate
s You?
Honor the Spirit
Mastery
Meaning
Mystery
The A.R.T. of Boundaries
Assertiveness
Do what is right for you
Respect
Be deeply present without advising,
interrupting, rescuing, criticizing, teasing
Trust
Be worthy of trust. What we say here stays
here.
The Virtues Pick
Pick a new partner. Decide who will go first.
Share something about what’s up in your life at
this time (whatever you want to share about).
Read your virtue card aloud (both sides) and
share how it is speaking to you.
Partner, companion in SILENCE with no
cross talk.
When first person finishes sharing, partner give
VIRTUES ACKNOWLEGEMENT and write the
virtues on their gem tag.
What did you
appreciate about
this activity?
Virtues Shield
directions in Conference File
Great activity to do with staff or
Families and have them
Share what they put on the shield.
Summary
• See the potential in
every child. Look for
their virtues.
• Create a shared vision
statement
• Model the virtues you
expect the students to
practice
• Focus on virtues in the
arts
• Share stories
• Have ceremonies at
special times
Applications
•Organizational Assessment
•Leadership Development
•Creating a Vision Statement
•Creating a Mission Statement
•Cultural Change
VIRTUES VILLAGE
Inspiring virtues in the home,
school, workplace and community!
For information on products and
services :
www.virtuesvillagellc.com
715 - 435 - 3922