Chapter 10
Getting Along with Others
Begin with Yourself
• Positive self-belief makes it easy to believe in
others.
• A good relationship is built on trust, respect,
and empathy, which show a concern for the
rights of others.
• Assertiveness shows understanding of your
own rights and feelings. Strike the right balance
between others’ needs and yours.
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Ethical Values
• We all have values by which we live.
• Unethical behavior diminishes self-belief.
• Most ethical dilemmas involve conflict between
your values and those of others.
• Ask yourself what effect your actions will have
on others and on yourself.
• It takes courage to stand up for what you believe
is right.
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Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Self-actualization needs
Esteem needs
Love and belonging needs
Safety and security needs
Physiological needs: hunger and thirst
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The Johari Window
Known
to Self
Unknown
to Self
Known
to others
1
The Known
2
The blind spot
Unknown
to others
3
The mask
4
The unknown
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10 | 5
Feedback in Relationships
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdozzYQg
D_g
• Giving feedback. It takes skill to give feedback
in a way that is helpful.
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Understand your own motivations.
Be accepting and nonjudgmental.
Be sensitive to the other person’s resistance.
Criticize behaviors, not personality.
Only discuss things that can be changed.
Don’t tell others what to do.
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Feedback in Relationships
• Receiving feedback. Reactions to negative
feedback are often defensive.
– Withdrawal: escape the feedback.
– Rationalization: make the feedback acceptable.
– Displacement: substitute someone else for the
person who gave the feedback.
– Fantasy: let daydreams boost your self-belief.
– Projection: attribute your own negative behaviors to
someone else.
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Handling Feedback Positively
• Consider who is criticizing you.
• Decide whether the person criticizing you is
upset about something else.
• Ask for specific information.
• Think about what you’ve heard.
• Decide whether the criticism is appropriate.
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10 | 8
Resolving Conflict
• Commit yourself to resolving the problem.
• Ask yourself what you hope to achieve by
resolving the conflict.
• Make sure both sides have the same
understanding of the reason for the conflict.
• Be assertive, not aggressive.
• Try to keep to the facts.
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