MIKE MAZZALONGO 5 Domestic Violence: The Secret Sin - Part 1 Domestic Violence: Definition Violence occurring between partners or between children and adults in an on-going domestic relationship. National D.V. - Stats • 37% of E.R. visits • 50% of Spousal Homicides • D.V. leading cause of birth defects Oklahoma D.V. - Stats • 36,000 911 calls in OKC • 41% of all homicides • 70% of abused child deaths include abuse of the mother Battered Wife Syndrome • Physical Abuse • Emotional/Psychological Abuse • Sexual Abuse Batterers • • • • • • Low self esteem Low trust Poor nurturers Perfectionists Fear loss of control Out of touch with feelings except anger Batterers • • • • • • • Dual personalities Blames others All types Dominance Substance abuse History of family abuse Sensitive Reasons for Domestic Violence 1. Previous family learning Reasons for Domestic Violence 1. Previous family learning 2. Low self esteem Reasons for Domestic Violence 1. Previous family learning 2. Low self esteem 3. Displacement of tension Reasons for Domestic Violence 1. Previous family learning 2. Low self esteem 3. Displacement of tension 4. Reinforcement of violence Reasons for Domestic Violence 1. 2. 3. 4. Previous family learning Low self esteem Displacement of tension Reinforcement of violence 5. No referee Reasons for Domestic Violence 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Previous family learning Low self esteem Displacement of tension Reinforcement of violence No referee 6. Violence in society Reasons for Domestic Violence 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Previous family learning Low self esteem Displacement of tension Reinforcement of violence No referee Violence in society 7. Cultural conditioning Reasons for Domestic Violence 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Previous family learning Low self esteem Displacement of tension Reinforcement of violence No referee Violence in society Cultural conditioning 8. Misunderstanding of scriptures Cycle of Violence Violent Episodes Crisis State Stress Period Honeymoon Calmness Power and Control 1. Threats Power and Control 1. Threats 2. Intimidation Power and Control 1. Threats 2. Intimidation 3. Emotional abuse Power and Control 1. Threats 2. Intimidation 3. Emotional abuse 4. Isolation Power and Control 1. 2. 3. 4. Threats Intimidation Emotional abuse Isolation 5. Blaming Power and Control 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Threats Intimidation Emotional abuse Isolation Blaming 6.Using children Power and Control 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Threats Intimidation Emotional abuse Isolation Blaming Using children 7. Using male privilege Power and Control 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Threats Intimidation Emotional abuse Isolation Blaming Using children Using male privilege 8. Using economic abuse Power and Control 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Threats Intimidation Emotional abuse Isolation Blaming Using children Using male privilege Using economic abuse 9. Uses sexual aggression The method is to increase control over the wife and children. The goal is total control. Why do women stay? Stage 1 She loves him Why do women stay? Stage 1 She loves him Stage 2 She can change him Why do women stay? Stage 1 She loves him Stage 2 She can change him Stage 3 She fears him Final Thoughts 1.It happens in the “best” of families Final Thoughts 1. It happens in the “best” of families 2. Beating someone is wrong Final Thoughts 1. It happens in the “best” of families 2. Beating someone is wrong 3. There is help and a way out
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