Maintenance of
Relationships
Adapted from Simon Knight
(2009)
1
Game…
You have £10 to split with someone (me)
 You have to make an offer to me for how
to split that money (e.g. 50/50)
 If I accept the offer, it’s split as you
suggest, if I reject the offer neither of us
receives any of the money. What do you
offer?
 A) £5 B) £4 C) £3 D) £2

2
The ultimatum game
Economically, you should have selected
D, £2. This is because you should want to
maximise your money, and I should accept
any offer from you (because any money is
free money as far as I’m concerned).
 Most people offer about 50/50. Most
respondents (me) reject offers under 25%.

3
So what?

Psychologists are interested in games like
this because:
They’re easy to study (simple)
 They tell us something about how people
make economic decisions
 Some of this can be applied to decisions
which don’t involve money, but might involve
services, or social-goods (e.g. ‘a good ear’) –
or even relationships

4
Investments…

When psychologists look at how people
behave, they’re interested in investments
– the things people have put in to a
relationship/belief/situation, such as time,
effort, money, etc. which would be lost if
the relationship/belief/situation were
damaged.
5
Relationships
So how might this apply to relationships?
 Some possibilities

Interest in what partners ‘put in’ (investments
made)
 Interest in what partners take out
 Interest in whether partners are trying to get
more more more, or to keep things equal/fair

6
By the End of this topic

I want you to be able to outline (AO1), and
critique (AO2) two theories of the
maintenance of relationships. You should
be able to give at least one criticism
relating to the issues & debates section
and some criticisms of research methods
used (AO3)
7
Ultimatum game again
Economic theory says we should always
make small offers (to keep as much for
ourselves as possible),
 and if we’re the respondent, accept any
offer (because any money is free money)
and try to get as much money as
possible…
 can we apply this to relationships?

8
Can I help you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoptLoEj_tk
9
I want more
Bart seems to contribute little to the family;
even when he is involved he’s very
demanding.
 Yet he takes large rewards from the family
(support, food, gifts, etc.) He might like to
keep relationships like this going) but his
partner (mum) might not…
 His investments are low, whilst hers is
high

10
Task 1
Part 1 of the worksheet (p1 & 2)
You’ll need the dog book – pages 44-45

11
Some answers!
Comparison level =
a) a standard against which all our
relationships are judged
b) What we want from our relationships
c) The best relationship we ever had
12

a)
b)
c)
Comparison level = a result of…
Our experiences in other relationships
Our ideal relationship – what we think all
relationships should be like
Our experiences in other relationships
and our general view of what we might
expect from this particular exchange.
13
According to Marelich et al (2008)
What do men use to gain sex?
a)
b)
c)
Flowers and chocolates
Lies
Social company
What might be the cost of this?
a) Money
b) Sadness
c) Guilt & lack of trust
14
more more more ultimatum game
Classically the ultimatum game suggests
people should go for more more more (as
‘social exchange theory’ suggests in
relationships)
 However, in fact they seem to be quite fair,
going for 50/50 splits, with responders
rejecting unfair offers.
 What might this mean for relationships?
(think about economics)

15
Equity theory
Equity theory suggests people want the
investments each partner makes to be of
similar amounts
 These amounts don’t have to be of the
same kind – i.e. someone might contribute
money, someone else good company.
 Equity is about fairness

16
I give you….and all I get is…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0V9TRWq0G0
17
They kiss later in the episode. But what is
Ross upset about in this clip?
Ross thinks it’s unfair given how close they
are (how much investment they’ve put in)
that he’s emotional about her leaving, and
doesn’t think she is…
He perceives an inequity
18

Worksheets (pages 3 & 4)

You’ll need pages 44 & 45 of the dog book
again (bottom half)
19
Answers (sort of)

a)
b)
c)
Jill pays the bills & provides an emotional
bedrock for Jasper who contributes little.
Jill will feel:
Equity
Inequity
profitable
20
van Yperen and Buunk (1990)
One reason they used their methodology was:
a) They knew loads of married people so it was
easy to get participants
b) This methodology is really reliable
c) This methodology gives us lots of rich data
rather than just a snapshot – it’s therefore
more valid
d) This methodology gives us lots of rich data
rather than just a snapshot – however it has
problems with validity.
21
Read articles
Think about how it might apply to
rewards/costs, what thing causes the
reward/cost and how we (as
psychologists) might be interested in that
 Each group to feedback to the class at the
end so have something to say!

22
Plan!
You have 10 minutes to plan:
 Discuss two theories relating to the
maintenance of relationships (25 marks)
 social exchange outline (AO1) then
support (evidence to support…) then
criticism (evidence criticising…) AO2/3
 Leads in to social equity outline (AO1)
then support & criticism (AO2/3)

23
Homework
Discuss one or more theories relating to
the maintenance of relationships (25
marks)
 I’d like you to discuss both theories

24
What Women Want
At the start of the film Gibson’s character
does nothing in relationships except take,
he offers nothing back in return.
 He’s quite happy with this (and might like
to keep relationships like this going) but
his partner’s might not be…
 His investments are low, whilst theirs
might be high

25
WORKSHEET DOCUMENT
Thursday, 18 December 2008
Why you should take extra care when buying a Xmas gift for
a man
As you go shopping for Christmas presents this holiday, bear in mind that
buying the wrong gift for a man could put your relationship with him in
jeopardy, whereas buying a bad gift for a woman is far less dangerous.
That's according to Elizabeth Dunn and colleagues who asked dozens of
participants to rate their preference for twelve different stores, and to then
choose a gift for their partner, in the form of a chance to win vouchers from
one of those stores.
The researchers fixed the results so that half the participants were told their
partner had chosen, as a gift, the chance for them to win vouchers from their
favourite store, as indicated earlier (i.e. a good gift), whereas the other half
were told their partner had chosen for them the chance to win vouchers from
their least favourite store (i.e. a bad gift).
When the experiment was conducted with research partners who'd only met
for four minutes, the results were as you might expect. Both the men and
women who received "bad gifts" rated their research partner as less similar to
themselves, compared with the recipients of a "good gift".
Past research has shown that perceived similarity with a partner is associated
with greater relationship satisfaction - we like to think our partners are similar
to us. So this first study shows the potential harm that receiving a bad gift can
do by damaging that sense of similarity.
Intriguingly, when the experiment was repeated with romantic partners, a
gender difference emerged. As before, compared with male recipients of a
good gift, male recipients of a bad gift subsequently rated their romantic
partner as less similar to them. They also rated the prospects for the future of
their relationship more negatively, saying, for example, that they would be less
likely to get married! By contrast, compared with female recipients of a good
gift, female recipients of a bad gift actually rated their romantic partner as
more similar to them and they rated the outlook for their relationship as more
rosy.
What was going on? The researchers think their findings are consistent with
the tendency for women to act as guardians of relationships, and that their
positive reaction to the receipt of a bad gift was a form of psychological
defence against the disappointment of receiving a dud present.
"That is, in response to the relational threat posed by receiving a bad gift from
a partner, women may be more motivated than men to protect their sense of
similarity to the gift-giver," the researchers said, adding that this reflects "the
broader tendency for women — more than men — to guard relationships
against potential threats."
Elizabeth W. Dunn, Jeff Huntsinger, Janetta Lun, Stacey Sinclair (2008). The
Gift of Similarity: How Good and Bad Gifts Influence Relationships. Social
Cognition, 26 (4), 469-481. DOI: 10.1521/soco.2008.26.4.469. Via PsyBlog.
Posted by Digest at 4:00 AM
Labels: Social