Paraphrasing Article
PARAPHRASING
Paraphrasing is a powerful tool that is most often used in 1-on-1 exchanges, but
can actually be an excellent tool to use when in group situations. When used
well, and with a bit of training and coaching for group participants, their work
becomes clearer and more effective. Paraphrasing is always used in combination
with pausing. The pause sets the stage for the original speaker to listen for the
paraphrase and confirm or deny its truth.
A simple paraphrase shows you are trying to understand what the other person is
saying (i.e. active listening). It invites the other person to clarify for the purpose of
clear communication within a safe space. An open-ended question is used
directly after the paraphrase to go deeper into the issue. Without a paraphrase,
that question might seem like you’re probing in order to make a judgement. This
will make the person defensive.
Paraphrasing is a form of active listening. This is NOT an I STATEMENT! Typical I
statements start like this, “So, what I hear you saying is…” Your paraphrase has
nothing to do about YOU! As soon as you turn the focus back on you, the first
person is lost and already mentally telling themselves that you are really not
listening. When you paraphrase, you are mirroring THEIR intentions, not telling
them YOUR perceptions. They really don’t care what you have to say, until they
invite you to share. Use a strong paraphrase statement to show you are listening
WITHOUT being annoying! Use it sparingly, and with intention, NOT after every
time someone talks.
3 TYPES OF PARAPHRASES:
1) Acknowledge & Clarify: this is the most often used type of paraphrase and
the easiest to remember and do. This type of paraphrase is a brief
statement using their own words, such as in a mirror. All types of
paraphrases are more powerful when you can connect to their feelings,
values, or beliefs, NOT just the piece of knowledge they shared. But this
type of paraphrase uses the speakers own words, as in a quote. While it
might seem artificial at first, the more your practice this skill, the more
you’ll understand when and how to use it and with whom.
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Paraphrasing Article
Some examples include:
A. Speaker: “I don’t think she will be able to reach this goal in the time
frame she specified.” Paraphraser: (PAUSE) “So, really, you’re concerned
about her not meeting her goal and possibly being behind.”
B. Speaker: “I really wish we wouldn’t get stuck in the same pattern of
talking about things without making a decision.” Paraphraser: (PAUSE)
“So, you would like to see the group make a decision on this item before
we leave today.”
C. Speaker: “I wish I didn’t forget that paperwork you asked me to bring.”
(PAUSE) “You’re feeling bad about not bringing the paperwork back.”
2) Summarize & Organize: the second form of a paraphrase is still quite easy
to remember and do but takes a bit of higher order thinking as you’re
listening. It deals mot so much in the words the speaker uses as the
themes about what they said. For example, if you placed their words in a
container, your paraphrase might be the label on the container.
Some examples include:
A. Speaker: “When thinking about our upcoming work, I really want to
make sure we’re providing high quality trainings that get to the core of
children’s behaviors and that help teachers understand the MTSS
process.” Paraphraser: (PAUSE) “Ok, you seem to have two goals, one is
providing high quality trainings on behavior and the other is educating
others about MTSS.”
B. Speaker 1: “I really think the teachers I work with want to have more
resources on literacy that they can use right away.” Speaker 2: “Yah, and
I think the teachers I work with are mostly struggling with math
supports. Paraphraser: (PAUSE) “We seem to be struggling with two
ideas, literacy and math supports.”
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Paraphrasing Article
C. Group discussion on behavior and teachers understanding of it, as well
as the need to see behavior as communication and data. Paraphraser:
(PAUSE) “So, on the one hand, WE see it as data and want it to inform
our practice, and on the other, teachers see it as a nuisance.”
3) Abstraction Shift: This final type of paraphrase is harder to understand and
more difficult to practice, but still valuable. This paraphrase is a statement
that shifts the conversation to a higher or lower level of abstraction, such
as an escalator or an elevator. This type honors multiple learning styles. For
example, while one person might use words at a global level, such as value
or belief, the paraphraser might use words that shift down, such as
example or strategy.
This allows the speaker and paraphraser to communicate on different levels
yet still understand each other and perhaps change their perspectives. For
example, if a global thinker needs to strategize or make a decision, the
paraphraser might shift down the terms. And if a speaker needs to see the
big picture, the paraphraser might shift up the paraphrase statement.
Some examples include:
A. Speaker: “I really value having everyone involved in the decision.”
[global] Paraphraser: (PAUSE) “So, a strategy might be to ask everyone
their opinion?”
B. Speaker: “I think our only option is to wait and think about this for a
while before we make a decision.” Paraphraser: “So you really value
thinking through the steps and possible problems before we decide and
get the work done?” [global]
C. Shift Up Ex’s: value, belief, goal, assumption, concept, category,
intention
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Paraphrasing Article
D. Shift down Ex’s: example, strategy, choice, action, option
When the paraphraser pauses first, it signals to the speaker that they are
thinking about what was said, thereby creating a connection between the speaker
and paraphraser. This is active listening at its finest! When a group uses pausing
to reflect and increase thinking, and then someone paraphrases what was said,
whether acknowledging, summarizing, or shifting abstractions, the group
continues to further their thinking. This elevates the groups thought process,
makes their decision-making process clearer, and helps the group become more
effective over time. Not to mention, the people in the group feel supported,
more peaceful and productive, and natural and deep relationships are formed.
The original speaker will confirm or deny your statement directly following
the paraphrase. There is no need to be concerned if they deny your statement,
because they will automatically feel invited by this process to state again what
they are thinking, but in a new way. There is no judgement here. The speaker will
naturally want you to understand what they are saying and will be happy to give
you more information. Trust the process! Once they clarify their statement,
paraphrase again. They will value you more and feel a stronger connection with
you when you use this process.
Directly following this interaction, you will begin asking probing questions
to understand the issue further or begin an exploratory process, in order to make
decisions. Well formed, open-ended questions invite the person to think, based
in their subconscious, and come up with an answer that will propel the work
forward. The power of a well-formulated question can be life-changing. Asking
great questions will be the topic of the next article, so look for it soon!
EXERCISE:
 Choose a conversation with a close friend/co-worker
 Before you speak, review the different kinds of paraphrases and decide
which one ‘fits’ you better at the moment
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Paraphrasing Article
 As you listen to the person, try to identify the words or themes they are
using and connect them to the possible feelings, values, and beliefs they
might have
 Try to use 2-3 paraphrases within a five minute period; remembering to
pause just before you paraphrase
 Ask the person to pause in the conversation (perhaps a natural break) and
give you some feedback
Ex. 1: “I’ve been using a strategy I learned recently on how to be a better
listener. Can you tell me, on a scale of 1-10, with one being no listening at
all and ten being excellent listening, where would you rate me and why?”
Listen intently and ask follow up questions as needed.
Ex. 2: “I’ve been using a strategy I learned recently on how to be a better
listener. Can you tell me, how did you feel during the last few minutes of
our conversation?” Listen intently and ask follow up questions as needed.
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Practice each type of paraphrase if possible during various conversations.
Another idea would be to keep a tally mark of the times you used a
powerful paraphrase when in your next business meeting. Just remember,
don’t be annoying! You want to focus on using a powerful paraphrase not
on the quantity of paraphrases.
Watch how your communication and positive connections with others
increase and you become a more influential worker, friend, spouse, etc.!
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Value Added, Impact Multiplied
pg. 5