Beth A. Cohen, Ph.D.
Director, UC Davis
Academic and Staff Assistance Program
What it is:
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A disagreement or clash between ideas,
principles, or people
What it isn’t:
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A fight, battle, or war
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A personal assault
Key: We decide how to perceive conflict
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Conflict isn’t always bad, but often
uncomfortable
Many resolutions are stifled by the
need to “be right”
“Winning” can become more
important than your long term goals
Careful assessment of conflict is
vital before developing a resolution
action plan
Sometimes no action is the right
action
Assess your conflict style
One style does not fit all conflicts
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What are your own personal conflict styles?
How does conflict affect you?
How did your family manage conflict?
What are you afraid of, if anything?
Has your style worked in the past?
Are your styles constructive?
Do you need to learn alternative strategies?
Do you need assistance and support?
Personal Conflict Styles
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Compromise
Collaboration
Avoidance
Accommodation
Competition
Confrontation
Compromise:
 Perspective: Conflict is a mutual difference;
democratic process encourages resolution
 Likes to meet halfway
Optimal:
 When you need a quick resolution
 It’s not important enough to squabble over
 You are willing to let “chance” decide
 Not possible or will take too long to satisfy
each one completely
Collaboration:
 Perspective: Conflict is natural, neutral
 Asserts your views while inviting others views
 Affirms differences, encourages
brainstorming
 Acknowledges tensions in relationships
 Optimal:
 You have time and want to satisfy all sides
 You care enough about the person or issue
 Worth resolving to avoid future problems
Avoidance:
 Perspective: Conflict is hopeless, avoid it
 Delays, avoids responding, withdraws, diverts
 Overlooks differences, accept disagreement
and “get out”
Optimal:
 You don’t care that much about the issue
 You (or someone) is very angry and need time
to cool off
 The situation is dangerous
Accommodation:
 Perspective: Conflict is disastrous, so yield
 Accept the other’s view, let other’s prevail
 Sacrifice your own interests to keep peace
Optimal:
 When you are or were wrong about something
 When you care more about the person than
you do about the issue
Competition:
 Perspective: Conflict is to be managed by
stating views without considering opposing
opinions
 Needs power, uses rank or position
 Adversarial, winning becomes more important
than relationships
Optimal:
 When a vital or unpopular decision is required
 If concerns about being exploited are present
Confrontation:
 Perspective: Conflict is obvious and the
central issue is who is “right”
 Likes to control the outcome
 Discourages disagreement through
aggression/fear
Optimal:
 You need to do something quickly
 It is important that others recognize you are
“right”
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Weigh your “need to be right”
with your long term professional
goals
Assess and understand your
personal conflict style
Assess the optimal approach to
use given the players and the
conflict
Seek assistance if your conflict
styles are not working for you
Create the ability to have an
“arsenal” of conflict styles