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7 Strategies to Take the Stress Out of Holiday Travel
Irene S. Levine
If the thought of going away or getting together with extended family over the
holidays has you in a panic, there’s good reason. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and
the New Year’s holidays consistently rank among the busiest long-distance travel
periods for Americans, according to the U.S. Bureau of Transportation Statistics.
This year won’t be any different. “The global travel industry is experiencing a
record increase in passengers (and revenues),” says Tom Spagnola, a travel
expert with online travel agency CheapOair, “Economic fears have subsided and
unemployment is down,” he says.
The sources of holiday travel stress are numerous: Costs escalate during any
peak travel period; airplane, train, car rental and hotel reservations are harder to
come by; weather conditions can be unpredictable; and crowds, lines and delays
are endemic at airports and on the road. And let’s face it: It can be emotionally
taxing for multigenerational families to spend “quality time” together when they
are used to being apart.
Next Avenue spoke to seasoned travelers, travel agents, and other experts to
solicit advice on ways to reduce the stress associated with holiday travel. Here
are their suggestions:
1) Make plans sooner rather than later
“Because there is limited availability, you need to nail down as soon as
possible—when everyone can leave and return, and how flexible their dates are,”
says travel advisor Judy Nidetz of Travel Experts in Chicago.
Fares are only going up, so there are no real last-minute deals,” says advisor
Laurie Robinson of Protravel in New York City. “To wait until the last minute in
hopes of getting a deal just creates more stress in terms of getting everything
organized at the last minute.”
2) Manage expectations
No vacation is ever perfect so don’t over-promise. Remind everyone (including
yourself) that there will be bumps in the proverbial road: Bags get lost, flights get
cancelled, and people (even those you love) say and do the wrong things.
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“With grown kids who have their own social agendas, I try to limit the number of
events I count on them attending,” says Mary Dell Harrington of Larchmont, New
York, an empty nester and co-author of the blog Grown and Flown. “Better to
make it clear when the one ‘must-attend’ family dinner is scheduled and loosen
the reigns on other smaller, less significant gatherings.”
Hans Meyer, a social worker at The Menninger Clinic in Houston, suggests
“playing forward” the holiday visit by mentally envisioning what it might be like in
comparison to past visits. “When we have an idealized view of our family, it’s
easy to lose sight of our previous experiences returning home.” If Aunt Martha
has always grated on your nerves, it isn’t likely to be any different this year.
3) Make it a team effort
To the extent possible, allow everyone a voice in planning and find out their
expectations. When people have had a say, they’re more likely to feel satisfied.
Multigenerational groups, in particular, have a wide range of needs, interests,
and energy levels: Older grandparents may have health and/or mobility issues;
active teenagers and young adults will be seeking age-appropriate activities and
entertainment; and young children and infants may require naps, special diets,
cribs and extra gear.
“If the night owls can howl with the moon but the babies and their parents can
rise with the roosters, that significantly reduces stress,” says Kathy Bernstein, an
agent with Protravel in Chicago.
Remember, too, that a particular family member’s needs may change from year
to year. Although Grandma has hosted dinner at her house for 20 years, she may
no longer be able to shop, prepare and clean up for a large crew. Those with
demanding careers may need to curtail the length of holiday vacations to
conserve leave for other times during the year.
4) Designate a leader
Ultimately, one individual needs to make final decisions and delegate tasks.
According to a recent survey conducted by HomeAway.com, an online
marketplace for vacation rentals, the middle generation (travelers 35-54) tends to
take the lead when it comes to planning (and often, paying) for multigenerational
travel.
If no natural leader or expertise emerges, it may be more efficient and less
stressful to outsource the role: Groups can turn to travel agents/advisors for
planning advice and coordination; they also can help troubleshoot when travel
plans run afoul.
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5) Carefully choose a destination
“Some choose destinations where they have been before so there are fewer
surprises,” says Robinson. “Others choose smaller, boutique properties, where
they don’t have to compete with the masses for the luxury and amenities they
prefer.”
Many families opt for all-inclusive resorts, home or villa rental properties, or plan
holiday cruises. At an all-inclusive resort (and all-inclusive cruise lines) everyone
knows the cost of the trip upfront and no one needs to sign a tab or reach into
his/her pocket each time someone wants a soft drink.
The big advantage of any neutral, shared space is that everyone is under the
same roof but can retreat to separate bedrooms. Vacation rental homes often
have access to nearby beaches, golf clubs or hotels, and can be staffed with
chefs, butlers and housekeepers so no one person is left doing all the work.
“For us, if we are going with children and grandchildren an all-inclusive or cruise
is best,“ says frequent traveler Linda Rosenberg, CEO of a behavioral health
organization in Washington, D.C. “There is no rigid schedule we all must adhere
to. My children are often late so we can plan separate excursions off the ship or
property. And we can even eat at different times and in different restaurants for
breakfast and lunch, coming together in the evening.”
6) Keep an eye on costs
Not surprisingly, the HomeAway.com survey found that cost is one of the most
stressful parts of any multigenerational trip. In some cases, a high earner will
bankroll the entire trip or a substantial part of it (for example, pay for
accommodations) as a holiday gift. Whatever approach is used, it’s important to
develop a realistic and mutually agreed upon budget in advance. Depending on
cost, some people may choose to shorten or extend their stay.
7) Be flexible
While it’s nice to preserve family traditions, there may be an advantage to
creating new ones. Harrington grew up in Texas and her family used to alternate
spending the holidays between there and New York. “Three years ago, we
discovered and fell in love with St. Simons Island, Georgia so we now meet there
for Christmas. We are overjoyed to escape the cold and, with lots of activities to
pick from, our two older kids are never bored (as they were beginning to be at
their grandparents house) nor are they running off with friends (as they did at our
house.”
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Also think about off-peak travel dates. “Consider the week after Thanksgiving
and before the Christmas holiday peak, which starts around December 15th,”
says Spangola of CheapOair. “Consumers (especially those with young children
and college age kids) are celebrating family holidays in early to mid-January, too,
which is much cheaper,” he adds.
The bottom line
Take a deep breath, and try to keep the trip and the holidays in perspective. You
will be able to control some but not all aspects of your holiday travel. “Treat
meeting, seeing and interacting with family more as a ‘treasure’ and a benefit to
be cherished than a burden, says travel psychologist, Michael Brein. “Simply
pause for a moment and realize how short life can be and how truly valuable
these relatively rare moments are.” Even with the hassles.
OPTIONAL BOX
A Checklist to Anticipate and Avoid Problems When Flying
Tom Spagnola of CheapOair offers some tips to prepare for and handle
cancelled flights:
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Download airline apps and sign up for travel advisories.
Check the weather at your departure and destination points.
Explore backup plans in the event of harsh weather.
If your flight is cancelled, call the airline directly rather than wait on
customer service lines at the airport.
Allow adequate time for layovers so you can wait out the weather, if
necessary.
Know your rights for your specific airline in the event of a flight cancellation.
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