From
This…..
… To
This
From
This…..
… To
This
From
This…..
… To
This
From
This…..
… To
This
When I was a boy of fourteen, my
father was so ignorant I could hardly
stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be twenty-one, I was
astonished at how much he had
learned in seven years. - Mark Twain
The teen years are a period of
intense growth, not only
physically but emotionally,
socially and intellectually. It's
understandable that it is a
time of confusion and
upheaval for many families
The goal of
parenting teens is
to successfully
launch them into
adulthood
Typical
Characteristics
Of
Teenagers*
•Emotional
•Physical
•Social
•Intellectual
* Compiled by Bob Stahn.
www.wellspringcounselingllc.com
• Awkward
• Experimenting
• Energetic
• Hormone Driven
• Out of control
• Mobile / free
• Rarely likes own appearance
• Gawky (as is anything in its
adolescence)
• In transition from child to adult
• Growing (out of clothes)
• Often hungry or
eating
• Adult body but not
maturity
* Compiled by Bob Stahn.
www.wellspringcounselingllc.com
•Near sighted
•Invincible, risk taker
•Self conscious
•Doesn’t know self
•Defensive often
•Curious
•Moody, chaotic internally
•Awkward
•In transition from child to adult
•Confused/confusing
•New and wonderful experiences
•Sensitive about self
•Insensitive about others
•Volatile
•Know-it-all
•Disconnected with others
•Experimenting
•Enmeshed with peers
•Unstable
•Dependent
•Independent (second
toddlerhood)
•Narrow minded
•Does not know self
•Inadequate
•Insecure
• Peer oriented/pressure
• Self conscious
• In transition
• Unskilled/Awkward
• Manipulative
• Without a niche
• Liberated from “kid” status
• “Pairing up” interests
• Acceptance-focused behavior
• Individual identity
• Being seen/recognized
(on stage)
• Mobility
• Freedom
• Experimental
• Insensitive about others
• Sensitive about self
• Clothes status
• Manipulative
• Alone/misfit
• Want distance from parents
* Compiled by Bob Stahn.
www.wellspringcounselingllc.com
• Black and white thinking
• Abstract thinking
• Idealistic thinking
• Here-and-now thinking only (no future)
• Pseudo-stupidity (due to little experience)
• Experimentation with boundaries
• Experimentation with values
• Question “Who am I?”
• Question “Am I normal?”
• Question “Who and what should I believe”
* Compiled by Bob Stahn.
www.wellspringcounselingllc.com
The Influence of
Society on Teens
The world
revolves
around
you!
You
Need
Stuff!
You Must Be
Constantly
Entertained!
The Virtual
World is a
Great Place
to Live!
You Must
Stay
Connected
Online Usage:
12 – 17 yo
• 95% regularly use the internet
• 69% have own their computer
• 37% have smart phones
• 24% use game console to get
online
(Pew Research 2012)
Social Media Sites
• 73% of teens have a social
media profile
• Avg. teen has 201 FB friends
• 18% of teens create private
email or social network profile
Cell Phones
• 78% of teens have a cell phone
• The avg. teen sends 60
texts/day
• 40% of teens plan to buy an
iphone in the next 6 months
The typical teen logs more
than seven hours a day and
more than 50 hours a week
in front of a TV, computer, or
cell phone screen
(Kaiser Family Foundation 2012)
Today’s teens are the
most connected
generation in history.
That
connectedness
will influence
their
development.
Make Your Voice Heard !
The goal of parenting teens is to
successfully launch them into adulthood
Be a
Tugboat
Tugboats are:
• tenacious
• powerful
• influential
The
function of
the tugboat
is to guide
ships
• Assist ships leaving &
entering the harbor
• Move ships to a
desired direction
• Tow ships who cannot move
under their own power
Top 5
Tug Boat
Tips
Set clear
boundaries
and discuss
consequences
Learn to
let go
Expect the
best
Listen
more….
Be
observant
and
involved
“If we treat people as who
they can become, they will
be inspired to rise to the
level of our expectations.”
~ John Maxwell