Self Science Lab January 14th COLLECTIVE PROBLEM SOLVING Charts for Win/Win Guidelines
The Win/Win Guidelines
1. Take time for cooling off, if needed. Find alternative ways to express anger.
2. Using "I messages," each person states their feelings and the problem as they see it.
No blaming, no name-calling, no interrupting.
3. Each person states the problem as the other person sees it.
4. Each person states how they are responsible for the problem.
5. Brainstorm solutions together and choose a solution that satisfies both—a Win/Win
solution.
6. Affirm, forgive, or thank.
Abbreviated Win/Win Guidelines
1. Cool off
2. "I message"
3. Say back
4. Take responsibility
5. Brainstorm solutions
6. Affirm, forgive, or thank
Rules for using Win/Win Guidelines
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Be respectful toward one another.
Listen while the other person speaks.
Be honest.
No blaming, name-calling, or interruptions.
Work toward a solution both people are
comfortable with.
"A peaceful classroom is one in which... we are CONSIDERATE of each other. We
speak quietly. We pay attention when someone else is speaking. We don't call each other
names. WE COOPERATE to build and maintain peace."
Focusing on Core Concerns
Daniel Shapiro associate director of the Harvard Negotiation Project
In Beyond Reason, D.Shapiro&R.Fisher suggest a simple framework for circumventing
the complexities of emotion. They suggest that negotiators not focus on every emotion
that arises in themselves and in the other party — such a process is overwhelming.
Rather, they advise negotiators to turn their attention to five core concerns, matters that
are important to most of us much of the time. These core concerns can be used as a
Self Science Lab January 14th COLLECTIVE PROBLEM SOLVING “lens” to understand the emo- tional terrain in a negotiation and as a “lever” to stimulate
helpful emo- tions. As a result, cooperative behavior becomes more likely.
The five core concerns they have considered in depth are appreciation, autonomy,
affiliation, status, and role. Each is a dimensional concept:
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Appreciation: Are our thoughts, feelings, and actions devalued, or are they
acknowledged as having merit?
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Autonomy: Is our freedom to make decisions impinged upon, or is it
respected?
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Affiliation: Are we treated as an adversary and kept at a distance, or are we
treated as a colleague?
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Status: Is our standing treated as inferior to others, or is it given full
recognition where deserved?
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Role: Are the many roles we play meaningless, or are they personally
fulfilling?