make the
first move
Māhau E tīmata | Fai Mo Tau NgAue
Fai Se Gaioiga Muamua | Na Matai Ni Toso
A Practical Resource for Mentoring Young People
1
Make the First Move: A Practical Resource for Mentoring Young People
Published by the Tikanga Toru Youth Commission
PO Box 87-188, Meadowbank, Auckland 1742
www.makethefirstmove.org
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording
or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission
from the Tikanga Toru Youth Commission.
Copyright © 2014 by Tikanga Toru Youth Commission
Published in New Zealand
ISBN 978-0-473-27915-8 (Print)
ISBN 978-0-473-27916-5 (Online)
Rārangi Ūpoko
contents
5
Matai Ni Vola Introduction
6
Fa’amoemoe The Purpose of Mentoring
8
Ko e Vā mo e Taha Fale’i The Mentoring Relationship
10
Ngā Āhuatanga Ora Characteristics of Healthy Mentoring
12
Va Ka Rau Getting Started
14
Vasega mo Fautuaga The Mentoring Session
17
Fakam‘opo‘opo Evaluation / Closure
18
He Tikanga Whakataurua / Tūtakinga Matching Event / Getting Acquainted Questions
20
Fehu’i Faingofua ki he Taimi Fale’i Sample Questions for Mentoring Sessions
23
Na Rairai Ni Vuli Ca Na Vola Tabu Sample Bible Study Outline 26
Fa’afautua mo le Atina’ega o Galuega Fa’ale-agaga Mentoring for Ministry Development
28
Va Vina Vinaka Acknowledgements
31
Poupou Feedback
3
4
matai ni vola
introduction
“Mā te tuakana ka tōtika te teina, mā te teina ka tōtika te tuakana.”
“From the older sibling the younger one learns the right way to do things,
from the younger, the older lives into the same.” - Māori Proverb
The most effective way to get people living Christ centred lives is to live that life ourselves and
to share that life, in intentional relationships, through one-on-one mentoring with others, indeed,
with disciples. We can and have to make the first move. Whether you’re looking to mentor or be
mentored, this book is a simple and practical guide to help you make that first move.
This book includes language and examples from multiple contexts – Māori, Samoan, Tongan, Fijian
and Pākehā – across the three Tikanga setting of the Anglican Church in Aotearoa, NZ and Polynesia.
Our hope is that, whatever your context, your understandings of mentoring and discipleship will be
challenged and broadened by wisdom, insight and practice from our brothers and sisters from across
our province as well as being provided with examples and resources appropriate to your own needs.
colour key
Throughout this book, language
context has been colour-coded:
Māori
Tongan
Samoan
Fijian
With this book we seek to stress the importance and elevate the way we do mentoring and
discipleship; but it all begins with you. Young people don’t need more events or church camps,
they need someone willing to share their lives with them and to walk alongside them. Someone
to make the first move.
“Ā kotahi tekau mā rua āna i whakarite ai hei hoa mōna...” Mark 3:14
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Fa’amoemoe O Le Faufautua
the purpose of mentoring
O I’uga nei o le Faufautua
Mentoring has the following outcomes in mind:
i.
Assist the tagata talavou or young person to grow personally and as
a disciple of Christ.
ii. Build mafutaga or fellowship across the generations within faith
communities.
iii. To identify areas of mission and ministry in which the tagata
talavou can participate.
Qualities in a Māori context
•
•
•
•
•
Uiga Vaaia O Tagata Faufautua
Qualities of Mentors
Vaaiga Lautele - General Qualities:
•
•
•
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Fa’atuatua ia Keriso, Faith in Christ
Uiga Tausa’afia, Good Character
Commitment to Teaching the Next Generation
-- Fa’atuatuaga, Trustworthiness and Confidentiality
-- E lē fa’ailoga pe tusitusi lima, Objectivity and Sensitivity,
Non-judgemental
-- Agalofa, Generosity, Availability and Attentiveness
-- Fa’ale-Agaga, Prayerful
-- Fa’amafanafana, Fa’alototele and Fa’alāeiau, Warm, Positive and
Encouraging
Whakapono, faith in Te Karaiti
Rangatiratanga, good character, accountability and committment to
uplift rangatahi / young people
Manaakitanga, generosity, aroha, compassion, uphold one’s own
mana (dignity, integrity, authority, trustworthiness...) and enhance
mana of others
Wairuatanga, committment to spiritual wellbeing and inoi or prayer
Tikanga and Reo, committment to practice and celebrate Māori
custom and language as primary means of communication
Though mentoring relationships are a mutual blessing the focus is on
the talavou / finemui or young person. The mentor provides guidance,
fellowship, teaching and support to facilitate the young person’s:
•
•
•
•
•
Learning about Christ and Kalisitiane or Christianity,
Development of tu’unga mo’ui lelei fakalaumālie or healthy spiritual
practices e.g. prayer, Bible Study and Christian fellowship
Growth in theological awareness and recognising ’Otua or God in
their life
Development and nurture of inter-generational relationships in
your faith community
Understanding of the ministry of all believers, the Poini ‘e nima ‘o e
•
misiona or five marks of mission of the Anglican Church, and of the
young person’s potential ministry strengths
Personal reflection and self-awareness
Na Ka Dau Vaqa Taki
The Key Resources For Mentoring Are:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Jisu Karisito or Jesus Christ as our prime mentoring model
The young person’s reflections on their experiences
The mentor’s faith and willingness to take an interest in another’s
personal and spiritual growth
Vola Tabu or the Bible
A good set of questions (see pages 20-22)
Meeting regularly - maximum weekly, minimum monthly
Lima Auala O Le Galuega
Five Marks of Mission
The marks of mission are how many Anglican Churches
prioritise and do mission:
1. To proclaim the Good News of the Kingdom
2. To teach, baptise and nurture new believers
3. To respond to human need by loving service
4. To seek to transform unjust structures of society, to
challenge violence of every kind and to pursue peace
and reconciliation
5. To strive to safeguard the integrity of creation and
sustain and renew the life of the earth
Tauhi Vā ‘o e Taha Fale’i
the mentoring relationship
The practice of mentoring is woven throughout the Bible in disciple
relationships. In the Old Testament we see it in the relationships of Moses
and Joshua; Eli and Samuel; Elijah and Elisha. In the New Testament,
Barnabas, Paul and Jesus mentored by walking closely with and investing
heavily in a few people. We can also see it in the relationships between
Ruth and Naomi, David and Samuel and Elizabeth and Mary. The Bible
shows mentoring to be an intentional relationship and a way of sharing
not just information, but our whole lives with a young disciple.
in that area and vice-versa. Core values include aroha (care and
respect); manaakitanga (mutually beneficial and reciprocal, nurturing
relationships); rangatiratanga (self-determination, authority and
responsibility); and kotahitanga (sharing a unified purpose).
mentoring in a polynesian context
“Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share
with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well.”
- 1 Thessalonians 2:8
In a Pasifika Context everything begins in the home or with the fāmili
where young people learn in feohi fakafāmili or family gatherings. Great
emphasis is placed on respect being given by the tagata talavou or young
person to the tagata matua or elder.
This relationship between young and old in a Māori Context is formalised
in the Tuakana/Teina relationship which is an integral part of traditional
Māori society and is a Māori model of mentoring based on the values
and structure of the Māori concept of whānau or family. In the Tuakana /
Teina relationship an older or more expert tuakana (originally a brother,
sister or cousin) helps and guides a younger or less expert teina (younger
sibling or cousin of the same gender).
When a junior sibling is more knowledgable or skilled in an area than
the tuakana, the roles can be reversed – the teina becomes tuakana
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“Pē ‘i he ‘emau tokanga ‘ofa kiate kimoutolu, na’a mau loto
ke ‘atu kiate kimoutolu, ‘ikai koe ongolelei ‘o e ‘Otua pe, ka
ko e mau mo’ui foki, koe‘uhī koe ‘ofeina lahi ‘akimoutolu kiate
kimautolu.” - 1 Tesalonaika 2:8
Taukei ‘o e Taha Fale’i
skills of mentors
Tefito’i Taukei - General Skills:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Reflective Listening
Taki, Guidance – offering a wider view, options and possibilities
Establishing rapport
Tisaipale, Discipleship – able to nurture faith in others and ‘show
where God is’
Bible Study
Faiako’i, Coaching – cheering on, reviewing and providing pointers for
•
the way ahead
Sponsoring – opening doors, providing fakakaukau mo e faingamālie
or ideas and opportunities to which a young person might not
otherwise have access
Skills in a Polynesian Context:
•
•
•
•
•
•
Kila na vosa va viti, that is, knowledge of the Language and Culture in
which you operate
“Titiro/Whakarongo”, teach faith and reflective listening by example
make genealogical and faith connections, establish place in relation
to God and others
Tauhi vā lelei, to bond, establish rapport
Whakahonohono, build connections and connect young person with
others
Mihi, Waiata and Karakia, proficiency with the elements of the ritual
of encounter and engagement in a Polynesian setting
A mentor is not a parent; a counsellor; a friend. Nor are they merely a
teacher, for rather than simply explaining or passing information to a
student, a mentor shows their student through their own example and by
letting the young person see them living out their faith. As Paul was able
to write to Timothy:
“You know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose,
faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings
... continue in what you have learned ... because you know
from whom you have learnt it.” - 2 Timothy 3: 10, 14
Fakaafe’i
personal invitation
Nothing beats a one-to-one invitation for recruiting disciples. People
won’t necessarily have confidence that they can relate to young people
or be an effective mentor. Yet when a church leader shows confidence in
them, it can go a long way to overcoming uncertainty.
Founga Ki He Taha Fai Hono Fale’i
Tips For The Young Person Being Mentored
•
•
•
•
•
•
Take initiative-respectfully let your mentor know what you want from
mentoring and how you would like sessions to run.
Prepare for each meeting
Make a list of issues you would like to talk about
Read through a set Bible passage
Reflect on your ngaahi taumu’a mo e mālohinga or goals and ministry
strengths
Bring an ‘ulungaanga lelei or positive attitude
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Ngā Āhuatanga Ora
characteristics of healthy mentoring
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Kia Watea Koe / Freedom...
Whakapono / trust...
•
•
•
•
•
•
to be oneself
to express doubt, riri or anger, frustration
to express aroha or love and be loved
to take risks
kia noho wehikore or to share opinions or feelings honestly
•
that the mentor has the rangatahi or young person’s best interests
at heart and will not push their own agenda, be controlling, or to
whakaiti or put down, judge or hurt the young person intentionally
that the young person will show respect and trust in the
kaiakopono or mentor
•
•
•
self-awareness
being in touch with one’s own feelings and responses
being sensitive to the feelings and responses of the other
While Mentoring Is…
a mutual blessing, allow the needs of the rangatahi or young person to
guide the sessions. The rangatahi should set the pace, with the mentor
walking alongside (not trying to push ahead with the young person
struggling to keep up).
Kawa Whakaruruhau - Safe Practice
Parishes – Vale ni Lotu, Palōkia, Ekalesia, Rohe or Takiwā should appoint
a Mentoring Coordinator. In the first instance, this person could be the
senior youth leader or Youth Minister or Youth Chaplain. If no one at the
local level is available, the Diocesan or Hui Amorangi Youth Coordinator
may fulfil this role temporarily. The Mentoring Coordinator helps with
recruiting, keeps a record of mentoring matches and their regular time
of meeting, ensures safe practice, and is a reference and guide when
issues of concern arise.
Check with your Church, Diocese or Hui Amorangi if they have a policy
for encouraging healthy and appropriate relationships between adults
and young people while providing protection for both. If they don’t
have one, strongly encourage them to get one and get in touch with the
Tikanga Toru Youth Commission for help if you need any.
Police vetting, particularly in Aotearoa-NZ, is a good practice to use as a
part of discerning good mentors.
We would discourage Qase or adults and Na Gone or young people
from being completely alone together so as to remove potentially
compromising situations. This form of mentoring should therefore
occur either in a public place, such as a cafe, or at a marae, a church or
home where there are other people around – a place where you can
be “overseen but not overheard”. In addition, caregivers and parents as
well as the Mentoring Coordinator should always be aware of when and
where such meetings will occur.
While at times deeply personal sharing may be part of mentoring, it
should be clear that this is not a counselling session and mentors
should never undertake the role of a counsellor. Let the young person
know that whatever is shared in mentoring will remain confidential
except where there is a concern that someone may be at risk of harm.
Gender matching is advised. It is generally less complicated and more
conducive to the role-model dimension of mentoring.
In mentoring, a close relationship forms. This is important but should
be balanced with care to maintain appropriate boundaries, e.g. avoiding
overdependence by the young person on their mentor or the mentor
developing inappropriate involvement with friends or family of the
young person. Consider the balance in the stern warning of Christ in
Matthew 18: 1-14.
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Va Ka Rau
getting started
I. BIU VATA / MATCHING
While most people are able to mentor, not everyone is a good match.
There should be a natural rapport and warmth between the mentor and
the young person.
i.
Start by prayerfully considering qase or adults and young people
or na gone you already have a relationship with or whom you feel
drawn to. Approach your church’s Mentoring coordinator, Youth
Leader, Vicar or Priest, who can then arrange an initial Getting
Acquainted session (see II below).
ii. If you don’t yet have this rapport, the church can run an event
designed to introduce adults and young people to each other over a
short period. See ‘He Tikanga Whakataurua / Tūtakinga – Matching
Event / Getting Acquainted Questions’ (pages 18-19) for an outline
of such an event. The event ends with young people and adults
filling in a form naming 2-3 people they met during the evening
whom they feel they could form a good mentoring relationship with.
The Mentoring Coordinator collates these forms and pairs people
up for an initial Getting Acquainted session.
II. Me iko Kila – Getting Acquainted
An initial Getting Acquainted session is held, after which a final decision
by both parties is made as to whether this is a good match. Both parties
understand that this is a one-off session that may or may not lead to
an ongoing mentoring relationship, with no hard feelings if not. To get
better acquainted, both parties share their:
the initiative will lie for leading each part of the session. Discuss the
regularity (weekly, fortnightly or monthly), the time of the week and the
venue for mentoring.
i.
life story or nomu talanoa naming significant people or events
along the way.
ii. interests, work / study, hobbies, and what they enjoy in life / do for fun.
iii. goals for the future.
iv. Spend some dedicated time sharing each other’s journey of faith.
All these factors should work to minimise potential interruptions
(e.g. timetable clashes) to either party. Report these details to your
Mentoring Coordinator.
Sharing should always be at a level that feels comfortable. How the
mentor in particular handles this sacred time will build the basis for
trust and openness in the relationship. In particular they should show
attentiveness, be non-judgemental and tune in to how the young person
feels about the things they are sharing.
It is important that your parish, church or worshipping community
formally recognises the mentoring relationship. This may be as
elaborate as a formal service installing all mentors into their role, or
as simple as an introduction and prayer of dedication during a regular
service of worship.
Iv. Cubori Va Lotu – Commissioning
IIi. Matai Ni Vei Vuleci – First Mentoring Session
If both parties agree that this is a suitable match, the Mentoring
Coordinator arranges for the pair to meet. The pair meets and openly
shares with each other their hopes – nanuma for the relationship. In
particular, the mentor should listen carefully to what the young person
expects from mentoring.
Go through The Mentoring Session outline (see pages 14-16) and
establish a commitment to the aspects listed there. Discuss where
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Vasega mo Fautuaga
the mentoring session
Fesili / Questions
General Context – Four Steps / Auala e Fa
An enormously important and key tool in mentoring is questions. They
help us get into a listening mode rather than talking too much. They
help get the young person thinking for themselves rather than being
dependent on advice. Questions build their confidence and feelings of
worth as they realise they have an active rather than a passive role in
the session. See ‘Fehu’i Faingofua ki he Taimi Fale’i – Sample Questions
for Mentoring Sessions’ (pages 20-22) for a good range of sample
questions to select from.
The mentoring session itself has four steps:
Mentoring Session In A Polynesian Context
The boundaries in a Polynesian Context will be governed by Tikanga
or custom. Note that providing kai or refreshment is also important in
exercising manaakitanga or hospitality.
Sio, Fanongo pea toki lea.. / Look, listen...then speak as a culturally
important practice will govern a respectful relationship with one’s
elders and may mean that the young person must listen first to develop
understanding and find a place from which to speak. This may be hard
for the young person so it is important that the mentor is sensitive and
helps them with this process to establish and maintain a comfortable
relationship.
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1. How are things? (15-20 mins). Discuss as honestly as possible how
things have been in regular life and how things have been spiritually
since the last session e.g.
i. highlights and low points
ii. anything that has concerned the young person; gone well for
them; raised questions or doubts; led to some new insight
iii. their handling of new or difficult situations
iv. relationships with friends, family, teachers / bosses, other
students / work mates, parishioners
v. meeting any goals set at the previous session.
During this sharing, the mentor focuses on the young person’s
feelings in the first instance as a basis for discussion. Then move to
theological reflection i.e. helping explore where God is in the young
person’s experiences.
2. Bible Study. Select a passage of Scripture to read together (30-35
mins). There is great value in working steadily through a book of
the Bible, however if the young person has little Biblical knowledge
it would be good to start with selected chapters e.g. Matthew 5,
6 & 7, James 1, Proverbs 1-3, Romans 12 & 1 Cor 1-3 for Christian
living; Romans 1-8 , Psalm 1, 23, 51, Genesis 1, Isaiah 40, Ephesians 2,
Phillippians 2:1- 18, Colossians 1-3 & John 1 for knowing Christ and
God’s nature. Bible Studies should be based around questions that
explore:
i. what the text actually says,
ii. what it means and
iii. what the application points are about Christ and about Christian
living.
It is recommended that Study Guides rather than Devotional resources
be used and that whole passages are selected rather than isolated
verses. See pages 23-24 for a simple Bible Study format.
3. Goal-setting. Ask the young person if the session has been helpful
and in what way. From this feedback, set one or two personal,
spiritual or ministry goals for the coming week/fortnight. Take care
that goals are drawn from what the young person shares and is
interested in and motivated to achieve (5-10mins)
4. Prayer. Offer thanks for the time, praise to God and commit the
following time apart to the Lord
begin the session. The young person may also respond and thank
the mentor for leading the prayers e.g.
MENTOR: Nau mai, haere mai, e te teina. Mauria mai nga āhutanga
kua tau ki runga i a koe, tuia ki roto i ā tāua kōrero, īnoi hoki.
Welcome. Bring with you all you have experienced and weave it into
our discussion and our prayers.
Me tīmata tāua i runga i te ingoa o te Matua, o te Tama o te Wairua
Tapu. Āmine.
Tatou amata i le Suafa le Tama, le Alo ma le Agaga Paia. Amene.
Ke tau lotu, ‘I he Huafa Tamai, Alo mo e Laumālie Mā’oni’oni. ‘Ameni
Let us begin in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
E te Atua tō mātou Kai-hanga, ka tiaho te māramatanga me te ora,
i āu kupu kōrero, ka tīmata āu mahi, ka mau te tika me te aroha;
meatia kia ū tonu ki a māua tōu aroha i roto i ēnei kōrero. Whakakii
ā māua whakaaro ā māua mahi katoa, e tōu Wairua Tapu. Āmine.
The mentoring session will have five steps:
Le Atua ē, le matou Tāma, o lau Afio sa faia malamalama ma le Ola,
O lo’o tumau pea lou alofa ia te i matou ma fa’atasi mai lou Agaga I
lo matou fonotoga. Amene
1. Fa’afeiloaiga or welcome and Opening Tatalo or Prayer (5 mins).
The mentor welcomes the young person with a short prayer to
God our Creator, when you speak there is light and life, when you
act there is justice and love; grant that your love may be present in
Polynesian Context – Five Steps / Auala e Lima
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our discussion, so that what we say and what we do may be filled
with your Holy Spirit. Amen.
To the above can also be added Te Īnoi a Te Ariki or Lord’s Prayer.
Following this, at least initially, the sharing of whakapapa or talk
of one’s own life and genealogical connections will establish and
develop trust and rapport.
2. Sa vacava tiko / How are things? (15-20 mins) refer to step 1 in
general context.
3. Vuli ca na Vola Tabu / Bible Study (30-35 mins) refer to step 2 in
general context.
4. Tu vana na nomu ga iko yadra va / Goal Setting. Refer to step 3 in
general context.
5. Give thanks for the time you’ve spent together and pray for your
time apart. A suitable prayer to end with is the Grace:
Kia tau ki a tātou katoa, te atawhai o tō tātou Ariki, ō Ihu Karaiti, me
te aroha o Te Atua, me te whiwhi ngātahitanga o Te Wairua Tapu,
āke, āke. Āmine.
Ko e Kelesi ‘a hotau ‘Eiki ko Sīsū Kalaisi, mo e feohi ‘o e Laumālie
Mā’oni’oni, ke nofo‘ia ‘iate kitautolu ‘o fai pe ‘o ta’engata pē ta’engata.
‘Ameni
May the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the Love of God, and the
Fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us all, evermore. Amen.
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FakamĀ’opo’opo
evaluation / closure
After a set period of time (between six months and a year) it is worth
pausing to evaluate how the mentoring relationship is going.
If the answer to the last question is ‘yes’ review the format (meeting
times etc ... ) and plan to continue.
Some helpful evaluation questions for the young person are:
If the answer is “no”, plan a final get together where you can thank
each other for the time spent together, commit all you have learnt
and shared together into God’s hands and receive a blessing or prayer
(e.g. from your Priest, Vicar or Mentoring Coordinator) for your ongoing
growth and whanaungatanga or fellowship as members of the church.
Both mentor and young person should then feel free to pursue another
mentoring relationship if they wish.
i. How has mentoring been helpful or aoga?
ii. E cava iko vakasama taka va levu? / What sticks in your mind the
most?
iii. How have you grown ā-wairua or spiritually?
iv. ‘Oku fēfē e tupulaki ho’o mo’ui faka’aho? / How have you grown
personally?
v. Have you developed in an area of ministry or minitatanga?
vi. Do you feel more connected with your church family or aiga fa‘a-lelotu?
vii. E dua na yaka me sota tiko? / Is there value in continuing to meet?
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he tikanga whakataurua / tŪtakinga
matching event / getting acquainted questions
He Tikanga Whakataurua – Getting Aquainted
Tikanga Pākehā
Run an evening of interactive activities so young people and adults
can informally work out who they connect easily with. Invite all who’ve
shown an interest in mentoring. The main event can be a Speed Dating
type activity to add fun to the evening! Set out a line of tables with
adults seated on one side and young people opposite. Have one line
for males, another for females. A set of questions like those below are
set out for all to see. Each pair has 5 minutes to in turn answer each
question. Have plenty of questions. Questions can be answered in rapid
fire, but if any spark conversation – well and good. After 5 minutes,
a bell or gong sounds and the adults move one seat to the left. The
process repeats till each adult has had a ‘date’ with each young person
of the same gender. A short period of time and lots of questions quickly
dissolves any awkwardness in the ‘date’.
The point of this event is two-fold. Most important is to identify people
with whom there is a natural rapport and warmth. At a secondary level
it may help to discover areas of common interest. Either complete the
statements below or frame them as questions for each other:
i.
If I could pick a major event (e.g. sporting, musical etc...) anywhere
in the world, I would go to...
ii. My best day off would involve...
iii. A book (or film) I’ve enjoyed recently is...
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iv. My favourite music (artist, band or genre) is...
v. If I could pick someone to sit next to on a long plane ride I would
pick...
vi. My all time favourite cartoon/animated character is
vii. (Apart from Biblical characters) I think one of the greatest human
beings that ever lived was/is...
viii.My dream holiday would be...
ix. A TV programme I try not to miss is...
x. One thing that kind of bugs me is...
xi. A favourite hobby of mine is...
xii. One thing I would never eat at a restaurant is...
xiii.The extreme (adrenalin rush) activity I would most like to do is...
xiv. My ideal dream job would be...
Fill out the evening with group mingling activities and food. The event
ends with young people and adults filling in a form naming 2-3 people
they met during the evening whom they feel they could form a good
mentaring relationship with. The Mentoring Coordinator collates these
forms and pairs people up for an initial Getting Acquainted session
(outlined on pages 12-13).
Tikanga Māori
Once you’ve identified potential mentors invite them along with the
young people and any whānau or family members to a meal. Hold an
informal whakatau or welcome with karakia or prayer. The purpose of
the whakatau and prayers is to remove any tapu or restrictions and set
safe boundaries for your interaction as one people. Before or over the
course of the meal invite each of the young people and their whānau
members to introduce themselves, provide their pepeha or tribal
saying identifying their whakapapa or family and tribal relationships
and to talk about what they do and what they would like to get out of
mentoring for themselves or their whānau member. Invite the adults
to also introduce themselves, provide their pepeha and whakapapa
and to talk about their experience and what they would like to offer as
mentors.
All relationships for Māori begin with whakapapa to establish identity
and connection – if you find anyone struggles with this then the Church
can provide it serving for example as their tipuna whare or ancestral
house and whānau.
An example of a simple pepeha is:
Ko (name of mountain) te maunga
Ko (name of river) te awa
Ko (name of tribe) te iwi
Ko (person’s name) ahau
mahi katoa, he mea tīmata, he mea mahi, he mea whakaoti hoki i roto i a
koe, kia whiwhi ai tonu mātou ki te ora tonu, i te mea e atawhaitia nei e
koe. Ko Ihu Karaiti hoki tō mātou Ariki. Āmine.
Go before us, Lord, with your most gracious favour and further us with
your continual help, that in all our works, begun, continued and ended
in you, we may glorify your Holy Name and finally by your mercy obtain
everlasting life. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
The Grace in Māori or English is an appropriate prayer to end any
gathering.
Notes on a Tikanga Polynesia Context
The most significant site for mentoring in the Polynesian context is lotu
or church. Children learn from the Faifeau or Priest and the Priest’s wife
or Faletua to study the bible, pray and acquire Christian principles.
In the wider Polynesian context, getting acquainted with a mentor in
this dynamic would happen in a talanoa or group session whereby
the youth leader introduces potential mentors and asks them to share
where they are from and their experiences, to which the youth would
also respond with their talanoa or stories.
The following can be used as an opening prayer:
Elders would preferably be considered the best mentors for the
tupulaga talavou or youth group.
Hei mua koe i a mātou, e Ihowā, hei tohutohu i ā mātou mahi katoa, ko
koe anō hoki hei whakakaha i a mātou kia whai korōria ai koe i ā mātou
Feel free to explore the use of elements of one or all contexts.
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NGAAHI FEHU’I FAKATĀTĀ KE NGĀUE’AKI HE TAIMI FALE’I
sample questions for mentoring sessions
NGAAHI FEHU’I FAKATĀTĀ KE NGĀUE’AKI HE TAIMI FALE’I –
Sample Question for Mentoring Sessions
vii. Iko vei wase a mai dua na ka? Do you want to talk about it?
(don’t assume they will want to. It’s okay if they don’t)
Keep the tone warm and friendly, open, non-judging. Allow the young
person to choose the depth of sharing they are comfortable with. (See
‘Ngā Āhuatanga Ora – Characteristics of Healthy Mentoring’, page 10.)
II. Tānaki Fakamatala – Gathering Information...
i. Tell me about a mea whakaharahara or highlight and a low
point from your last week.
ii. Has anything concerned or bothered you recently? Or raised
any questions or even fa’alotolotolua or doubts? (If an issue is
raised – see the set of questions under ‘Ngaahi ngāue ki ho’o
Palopalema – Working Through Issues’, page 21.)
iii. Has anything gone particularly well for you recently? Or led to
some new insight?
iv. How did you go in (whakamatautau / test; hākinakina / sporting
activity; whānau hui / family gathering etc... ) this week?
(Always take an interest in important and regular events in
their lives and ask after them.)
v. “What have you done for fun? Malologa / Relaxation? Pasitaimi /
Hobbies? mea e fiafia ai le tagata / Interests? Ta’aloga / Sports?
vi. Na’a ke fehangahangai mo ha ngaahi palopalema? Have you
faced any new or difficult situations?
vii. E lako vacava na kaya? How did that go? How could you have
handled that differently?
Kamata – Starting Off
Ask 3-4 questions from sections I-III below to spark general
conversation from which the young person can share how things are
for them. (NB: If they ask you about yourself – feel free to share, but this
may not happen, at least not at first).
I. ‘Oku nau fēfē – How they are...
i. Ua mai oe? How are you? How are things?
ii. How are you really? (ask this follow-up question if you detect a
problem in their initial response)
iii. On a scale of 1-5 how would you rate how things are for you?
(or: ...how you are? ...how you are feeling? ...how your week has
gone?)
iv. Sa vacava tiko na ka mai vale? How are things at home? Ako or
School? Roopu Rangatahi or Youth group?
v. What has brought you hari or joy and ‘amanaki or hope?
vi. How are you feeling? (Generally feelings sit along the scales of
either sad, mad, scared or glad)
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III. Tauhi Vā – Relationships...
i. Sa vacava tiko nomu lala? How are your friendships going?
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.
How are you maintaining your friendships?
Tell me about your other relationships.
Fēfē hake ‘a ‘api? How are things at home?
On a scale of 1-5, how would you rate your relationships with
hoa or friends, whānau or family, teachers / bosses, other
students / workmates, parishioners?
Fehokotaki ‘a ‘etau Tui pea mo ‘etau Mo’ui Faka’aho
– Making The Faith Link
This may or may not happen naturally out of the first set of questions.
Either way, always ask 2-3 questions that link whakapono or faith with
life and where God is in their lives.
I. Fakakātoa – General...
i. How are things with God? Fēfē ho feohi mo e ‘Eiki?
ii. Iko sa bau va kila na Kalou sa ta rai iko? How do you feel about
your relationship with God?
iii. O lea le mea manaia i le lua mafutaga ma le Atua. Describe a real
positive about your relationship with God.
iv. What experiences of prayer and worship have you had this week?
v. ‘Oku fēfē tupulaki ho’o mo’ui ‘i he ‘Eiki? How have you been
developing your relationship with God?
vi. What are you doing to improve your knowledge of God?
vii. he pātai, he awangawanga rānei wāu e pā ana ki te Atua? What
questions, doubts, difficulties or frustrations about God have
come up for you recently? (Avoid any temptation to come up with
theological quick fixes. As you will know, a mature faith is not
the one without questions, but the one that is able to hold on
through uncertainty.)
viii.What new understanding of God have you become aware of
lately?
II. Ngāue’aki ho’o tui ki ho’o palopalema, taumu’a, pe ko ho’o ngaahi
faka’amu – Linking faith with issues, goals, hopes and dreams...
i. Iko drau ni raici Jisu mai cakacaka? Could you see God (Father,
Son or Holy Spirit) at work in this situation?
ii. What do you think Jesus would do in a similar situation?
iii. Ko fē konga ‘oku ke pēhē ‘e kau ai ‘a e ‘Eiki? Where does God fit in
here?
iv. He aha ngā kōrero ā te Paipera mō tēnei? What does the Bible
have to say about this? (A quick reference guide can be helpful
here – e.g. the Student Guide to the Bible or a Bible with a
topical index.)
v. What understanding of God do you have that applies here?
vi. O ai e te mana’o e tatalo mo oe? Whom could you ask to pray for
you (about this)?
III. Ngaahi ngāue ki ho’o Palopalema – Working Through Issues
i. Has anything concerned or bothered you recently? Or raised any
questions or even doubts?
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ii. Ki tōu whakaaro, he aha i pērā ai? Why do you think that was so?
iii. What would you do differently?
iv. What outcome would you like to see from this? How would you
like things to work out from here?
v. O lea sau mea e fai le mataupu lea? What do you think you could
do about this?
vi. E cava so tale na ka iko drau ni ca kava? What are your options?
(Brainstorm if necessary.)
vii. Ko e hā ‘a e fili ‘oku tonu? What option seems best? (Explore why especially if you see potential risk in it.)
viii.What will success look like? How will you know it’s gone well?
IV. Līpooti Fakafoki Mai Ho’o Ngaahi Taumu’a
– Reporting Back and Goal Setting
i. How did you get on with the whainga or goals we set last time?
ii. What can we celebrate?
iii. Kua uaua ētahi mahi? What has been difficult?
iv. E cava vaya kina? Why do you think that was so?
v. How are you feeling about it?
vi. What tokoni or help might you need?
vii. E mana’omia ona toe Iloilo le taunu’uga? Do we need to revise
the goal?
viii.What could you work on between now and our next meeting?
ix. What might prevent you / get in the way of you achieving this?
x. Iko na taura vacava qo? How could you deal with this?
xi. What or whom do you think could help or fesoasoani with this?
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na rairai ni vuli ca na vola tabu
sample bible study outline
Na Rairai Ni Vuli Ca Na Vola Tabu
– A Simple Way to Study the Bible
It can be quite rerevaki or daunting meeting up with someone to look
at the Vola Tabu or Bible together, especially if you have never done
it before. However, even if you have never read the Vola Tabu with
someone else before, it is possible to mine the riches of the Scriptures
and to hear what God is saying to us in them, which is a great privilege.
The aim of reading the Vola Tabu with another person is to hear what
God is saying to us through the part of the Vola Tabu we are looking at.
What follows is a very simple method of looking at a passage of the
Vola Tabu either with one other person or in a group. It is an approach
which can be used to examine any book of Scripture, but works best for
the Na Vola Vou or New Testament and particularly for the letters in the
Na Vola Vou. If you have never read the Vola Tabu with someone before,
and don’t feel you know it too well, you may like to start by reading
the book of Colossians one chapter at a time with someone. You could
then follow on by looking at 1 Thessalonians then Titus. After gaining
confidence in doing this, you could then move to bigger letters like
Romans and 1 Corinthians.
Na ka va rawarawa me va muri – Here Is The Simple Method:
For any passage, have as your aim to answer these three questions:
1. Na taro cava iko vei ta roga vei na tikini Vola Tabu ko to rogi tiko?
What question do you have about what this part of the Bible is
saying?
Most chapters of the Bible will raise questions for us; some of
which can be answered simply by reading the next chapter, others
for which there is no answer. The aim here is to note down all the
questions we have about a passage. Time can then be spent trying
to work out the answers from the passage as much as possible.
However, don’t be daunted by questions that can’t be answered; the
point at this stage is to come up with questions which arise from
the text of Scripture.
2. Ko e hā ha me’a ‘oku ne to’o ho’o tokanga fekau’aki mo e konga
folofola na’a ke lau? What strikes you about what this passage of
the Bible Is saying?
This can be anything from the yaca lasa or funny names in the text,
to amazing things that are said about God, to commands which
seem difficult to obey. The aim here is to look closely at what
the text is saying. Looking for repeated words, reasons given and
commands made can all be helpful. Sometimes looking closely at
things that strike you will answer some of your questions too!
3. He aha ngā tohutohu o tēnei wāhanga o te Paipera ki a mātou?
What do you think this part of the Bible Is telling us to do?
The Bible contains na dina or ‘truth that leads to godliness’.
Whenever we hear it, the challenge is to faith and repentance
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– to believe God’s word and change. It is always good therefore
to consider how God may be wanting us to change as a result of
hearing a particular part of God’s word. It will be more obvious
when the particular passage gives a command.
Having spent time working on these three questions, there are two
other questions which will give you a sharper understanding of the part
of the Bible you are looking at:
4. Na cava iko nanuma tiko e domoni tiko na ka kaya tiko na Vola
Tabu? What do you think is the heart of what this part of the Bible
is saying?
In other words, any part of the Bible may say many things, but there
is usually a key message which a passage is trying to get across. Try
to work out what that is, based on what you have noticed about the
passage.
5. O lea sou iloa po’o lea se fa’atinoga taua o lea vaega o le Tusi Paia
i lo tatou olaga? What do you think is the main application of this
part of the Bible to our lives?
Again, while there might be many things we ought to do in response
to a particular part of God’s word, usually there is a ‘main change’
which God’s word is aiming at. Again, based on what you have noticed
about the passage, it is good to work out what that might be.
These five questions give a helpful way of investigating any passage of
Scripture. It is possible to run through a chapter of the Bible and the
questions in 10 minutes with someone, or to take hours contemplating
a single section of Scripture with someone using these questions.
Whichever you do, the aim ought always to be the same: to hear what
God is saying to us through the part of the Bible we are looking at, to
believe it and to live by it. With this in mind it is best to pray, asking for
God’s help before you look at the Bible and after it.
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Pānuitia / Reading the Bible in a Polynesian Context
If you are proficient enough with Vosa va Viti, Te Reo Māori, Gagana Fa’aSamoa, or lea faka-Tonga – that is, with other languages in our context
– reading, reflecting on and comparing the texts and words in these
other languages with the text in English can be a useful and rewarding
exercise for the study of scripture for our contexts.
The text in Polynesian languages can often offer a different and richer
reading of scripture with words and concepts more closely overlapping
and representing the original Greek and Hebrew texts of the Bible. The
application and meaning of these concepts and words in Scripture may
also be more readily identified in the Māori, Fijian, Tongan, Samoan and
other contexts of the kaiakopono or mentor and the tagata talavou or
young person.
A Prayer When Reading The Bible
(Inspired by St Benedict of Nursia)
E Te Atua Atawhai, Tapu hoki,
hōmai te whakaaronui kia rapua ai koe,
te mōhiotanga kia māramatia ai,
te mamahitanga ki te whai i a koe
te manawanui ki te tatari mōhou
he kanohi kia kitea ai koe,
he ngākau kia whakaarohia ai,
he oranga hoki ki te kauhau i a koe,
i runga anō i te mana o te wairua o Ihu Karaiti,
tō mātou Ariki. Āmine.
Tamai keimami cecere mai cake
Soli vei keda na vakasama me kuni iko
Na vakasama kilai iko
Na kaukauwa me vaqarai iko
Na vamalumu me wereki
Na matamu me raici iko
Na uto qu me qaravi iko
Noqu nula me solivei iko
Kei na kaukauwa ni kauvela tai
Ni Jisu noda Kalou. Emeni.
Le Atua mamana ē, Le Atua Alofa,
foai mai le atamai e iloa ai lou Afio,
ma malamalama ai,
ia matou saili malosi mo lau Afio,
ia maua e matou le loto onosa’i mo lau Afio,
matou mata ia taga’i ia te oe,
ia matou ola ia te oe,
ma ia fa’atasi mai lou Agaga
o le fa’aola Iesu Keriso ia te i matou,
matou Alii. Amene.
‘E Tamai Mafimafi mo anga’ofa.
‘Omai ha ‘ilo keu kumi kiate Koe
Ha Poto keu mahino’i Koe
Ha mālohi keu kumi kiate Koe
Ha kātaki keu tali kiate Koe
Ha mata keu mamata kiate Koe
Ha loto ke fakalaulauloto kiate Koe
Mo ha mo’ui keu talaki Koe
‘I he ivi ‘o e Laumālie Mā’oni’oni ‘o hotau Fakamo’ui ko Sīsū
Kalaisi. ‘Ameni
Gracious and holy Father,
give us the wisdom to discover you,
the intelligence to understand you,
the diligence to seek after you,
the patience to wait for you,
eyes to behold you,
a heart to meditate on you,
and a life to proclaim you,
through the power of the spirit of Jesus,
our Lord. Amen.
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fa’afautua mo le atina’ega o galuega
fal’ale-agaga mentoring for ministry development
Fa’afautua mo le Atina’ega o Galuega Fa’ale-agaga
– Mentoring for Ministry Development
The first priority in mentoring is au so’o or discipleship. Yet, as a young
person becomes established as a disciple of Christ, they are likely to
develop an area of ministry. Below are questions mentors can use to
help young people begin to explore and develop an area of ministry,
and/or ta’ita’i or leadership.
Mālo Fai Tupu – Kingdom
i. Where do you see God at work and feel drawn to be involved?
ii. anua vei iko raica kina e dua na leqa me mori na Kalou se na
Tamata? Where might there be a temptation to please people rather
than serve God?
iii. How would you rate your pastoral concern for others? Is love for
those you minister among your primary motivation?
iv. ‘‘E anga fēfē ho’o tauhi ‘a e ‘Otua ke mu’omu’a ma’u pē ‘i ho’o ngāue?
How do you keep Christ central in your ministry?
v. How do you include / respond to the needy or marginalised within
your ministry?
vi. Is there a group of people that you enjoy working with particularly?
e.g tamariki or children, kaumātua or elderly, rangatahi or youth, te
hunga hauā or people with disability, ngā tāngata e tūkinotia ana or
the marginalised...
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Malosiaga / Tomai – Strengths / Skills
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
v.
vi.
What has been the most satisfying ministry experience in the last
month?
Where do you believe your taleni / mealofa / malosiaga or talents /
gifts / strengths lie?
Where do you sense a gap in your ability?
How well do you work with others? How can you be a better team
player?
E cava iko raica me so tale na cakacaka me caka kina? What do you
see as your current training and personal development needs?
What aspects of your āhua or character need honing so you can
better serve?
Mana’oga – Demands
i. What is your greatest challenge? – What are you doing to meet it?
ii. How have you coped with the expectations of others that you have
not been able to fulfil?
iii. Dredre cava iko so tava? What tensions / conflicts have you faced?
iv. Where are you meeting opposition? Ko e hā ho ongo’i? How does
that make you feel? Anga fēfē ho alea mo ia? How are you dealing
with it?
v. How is your time management, goal-setting, prioritising, and lifebalance going?
Fa’aitetega – Self-Care
He pēhea koe e poipoi i tōu hononga ki te Atua? How have you
been nurturing your relationship with God?
ii. What is your most effective way to unwind and process tension?
-- How could it be improved?
iii. Are you regularly allowing time for reflection and prayer; bible
reading and study?
iv. In what ways are you satisfying your need for:
-- Vei tacini? Friendship?
-- Cakacaka taka na vaka sama? Intellectual stimulation?
---
i.
Domoni? Intimacy?
Lasa? Fun?
Taunu’uga - Goals
i.
What ministry development whainga or goal are you working
toward or would you like to set for yourself?
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Va Vina Vinaka
acknowledgements
The major content of this book, particularly in English and for a Tikanga
Pākehā Context, is based on a Mentoring Resource put together by Phil
Trotter in 2010, Mentoring Young People: A Practical Resource, in his role
at the time as Youth Advisor for the Anglican Diocese of Christchurch,
New Zealand. This was done in response to a request by young people
of that diocese to resource and train adults to be mentors of young
people. It is the result of many years of experience, research and
frontline practice.
We express our heartfelt thanks to Phil for allowing us to freely use and
modify that resource for a two and three Tikanga context. If you would
like to access the original book you can do so online at
www.anglicanyouth.org.nz
The Tikanga Toru Youth Commission would also like to acknowledge
John Dansey, Monty Vaka and Elemesi Schmidt who helped translate key
concepts and worked to provide appropriate language and examples
for the contexts Fiji, Tonga, and Samoa. Vinaka vaka levu! Mālō ‘aupito!
Fa‘afetai lava!
The Māori content of this book is the work of the Tikanga Toru Youth
Commission.
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Poupou /feedback
Tokoni‘i ke toe lelei ange ‘etau ngāue
– Help Us Improve This Resource
We think we have done something special with this book by weaving
together some of the major languages and contexts of the Anglican
Church in Aotearoa-NZ and Polynesia. However, we know that it is far
from perfect and our hope is to keep improving it to provide an even
better resource for our three Tikanga Church.
We want the next version of this book to be as useful as possible. You
can help us improve this resource. Please let us know how you used
this book and what you found helpful. We’d love to hear from you. Did
you notice a typo or think something is missing? We really want to hear
from you too.
+64 9 557 0630
[email protected]
facebook.com/younganglican
PO Box 87 188, 200 St Johns Road, Meadowbank, Auckland 1541
ISBN 978-0-473-27915-8 (Print) ISBN 978-0-473-27916-5 (Online)
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