AP English 12
Ms. De Soto
General commentary on Q2 Belinda prompt
AP!! Answer the Prompt!! The prompt asks you to analyze Hervey’s complex character, not Edgeworth’s. It
does not ask you to analyze Hervey’s complex relationship with Belinda, though his relationship with Belinda
does reveal key insights about the complexity of his character.
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KTFO!!
Clarence Hervey should not be described as having “multiple personalities” nor should he be described as
“stuck up,” “sketchy,” or “shady.”
“When he is with stupid people, he acts stupid” while accurate, is not very articulate.
No contractions, no abbreviations, no shortcuts (“third person” not “3 rd person”)
Remove the word “bad” from your vocabulary. It’s bad. So is “good.” As much as I love Flippy, he doesn’t
belong in an essay that supposed to be about complexity.
I guess that I should be grateful that you didn’t write things like:
“Hervey is the poster child for cocky.”
“Hervey leaves a trail of pompous slime behind him.”
“Hervey was not a firm tree…he was easily swayed.”
“The young pleasant man is sheepish hiding the wolf within.”
“Fly-on-the-wall narrator”
“Upturned nose tone” that shows a lot of “byass”
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APV! (Avoid Passive Voice)
‘This is shown,” “The reader is shown,” “It is made known,” “This is proven”
“Hervey’s character is revealed”/”is described”
“X technique is used to show how Y characteristic is emphasized”
“X technique allows Y characteristic to be revealed”
No What Ifs or Vague “Analysis”
 Do not pontificate on how the passage would be different if Edgeworth had employed first person
point of view. Focus on what she gains in terms of revealing Hervey’s complexity when she chooses
third person point of view instead.
 Do not use “X technique helps make Hervey more relatable to the reader” or some equivalent
construct. Are they cousins? In-laws? Did they elope?
TE (Use Textual Evidence)
 You should cite from the passage at least once in each body paragraph. You do not have to use
parenthetical citations, nor do you need to cite full sentences—citing short phrases and individual
words is preferable, especially when you are examining diction (many of you noted the juxtaposition
of Hervey’s “humour” and “humanity” with his potential to “become vicious.”)
 Integrate your quotations smoothly in the body of your paper. Remember, no floaters!
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Avoid awkward set-ups such as “The first sentence says...” or “In the quote…”
 Also avoid listing a bunch of adjectives and/or nouns and/or verbs and then writing about how all of
these show Hervey as arrogant, insecure, etc.
Recognize the limitations of the Q2 prompt: the passage provided is too short to address foreshadowing;
often, the passage is too short to expand upon any sort of larger concern or UT. Always make sure to AP
(Answer the Prompt)
“uses diction” = ARE YOU KIDDING ME??
“uses vibrant, descriptive diction” doesn’t tell us much
Compare “strong diction” with “connotatively harsh diction”—see how the second phrase is more specific and
sophisticated?
8-9 essays do not use repetition unskillfully. To have “sophisticated diction” in the intro and then
immediately write about “sophisticated diction” in the first body paragraph undermines your authority.
WATCH THE SPELLING! “Narrarator” is not a word.
Sample introductions:
Intro #1: In the passage from Maria Edgeworth’s Belinda, diction invoking falsity and pretentiousness, a third
person omniscient point of view, and irony convey Clarence Hervey’s capricious nature.
My commentary: Overall, this is short, sweet, and effective, but it’s too short. To specify in what ways
Hervey’s nature is “capricious” would have strengthened this intro.
Intro #2: In Belinda, Maria Edgeworth uses an ironic tone, a biased yet seemingly omniscient third person
point of view, and syntax to reveal the shallow and narcissitic nature of Clarence Hervey’s seemingly
admirable character.
My commentary: Also effective, despite repetition of “seemingly” and the vague use of “syntax.” As with
diction, all writers “use syntax”—make every effort to specify what kind of syntax. In the body of the paper,
the author examines the way in which many of the sentences are organized such that the compliments in the
first part of the sentence (aka “independent clause”) are undermined by the disdain in the second part of the
sentence.
Intro #3: Throughout Maria Edgeworth’s novel, Belinda, Edgeworth depicts a vain, complicated character
named Clarence Hervey. Edgeworth uses a third person point of view, though she does not clarify the type of
third person it is, a satiric tone, and recurring parallelism in order to portray Hervey as a consistently
complicated and self-obsessed character. The slightly unclear point of view highlights Hervey’s complexity,
the satiric tone describes his narcissism, and the parallelism depicts the consistency of his lack of reliability.
My commentary: Condense this introduction and it’s OTRT.
Sample “9” essay from Louisville reading:
In novels, characters reveal themselves in a multitude of ways. Their inner qualities come to light as authors develop
them through various literary techniques. In Maria Edgeworth’s Belinda, Clarence Hervey is characterized as a shapeshifting man solely concerned with others’ impression of him, sure of himself but at the same time cautious and analytical,
and deceptively empty by the author’s use of diction, omniscient third-person narration, and Hervey’s reaction to those he
encounters around him.
Throughout the passage, Edgeworth’s choice of diction works to cast Hervey in a poor light, amplifying the sense of
emptiness the readers come to attribute to him. Hervey is “smitten,” “early flattered,” “easily led,” “easily excited,” and
“vain of having it seen by the world.” He is solely concerned with other people’s impressions, constantly reworking
himself to fit their desires. He adopts these protean ways from the beginning. After learning that he is a “man of genius,”
he imagines that “as such,” he had to be “imprudent, wild, and eccentric.” He lives his life trying to fit preset molds rather
than embracing his unique individuality. He is “dreadfully afraid of passing for a pedant” so in the “company of the idle
and ignorant” he feigns stupidity, conforming himself to others’ expectations. This manner continues throughout the
passage, and Edgeworth’s choice of diction works to highlight it for the readers. He “starts with horror” at the idea of
being seen “disturbing the peace of a family,” and the other phrases used to describe his reaction to others’ impressions
convey that same sense of emptiness—“increasing dread of being taken in,” “drew back with sudden terror.” His
hyperbolic reactions to other’s view of him, as developed by Edgeworth’s diction, characterize Hervey as a “chameleon,
varying in different lights and situations,” an because of that, empty and vain.
Edgeworth’s use of an omniscient third-person narrator also works to heighten the impression of Hervey as calculating,
empty, and cautious. We’re presented with a look inside Hervey’s mind throughout the passage—access to his thoughts,
feelings, and emotions. We know that he’s “easily flattered” and “smitten with the desire of being thought superior in
everything and of being the most admired person in all companies.” This inside track makes Hervey’s development all
the clearer painting him as deceptive, empty, and vain.
Finally, Edgeworth’s use of Lady Delacour, Lord Delacour, and Belinda as quasi-makeshift foils works to highlight his
excellencies and foibles. His relationship with Lady Delacour casts him as cool and calculating—he’s there solely because
he’s “vain of having it seen by the world that he was distinguished by a lady of her wit and fashion.” He’s also “sometimes
provoked, sometimes amused, and sometimes flattered” by Lord Delacour’s jealousy, another product of his relationship.
And, his relationship with Belinda paints him as curiously insecure, especially when he feels his reputation as a “gallant” is
at stake. Despite his “increasing admiration of her beauty,” he’s terrified of being seen as “taken in to marry a niece of the
‘catch match-maker.’” He’s wary of what he perceives as Belinda’s devices and machinations, and he writes off honest
attraction to what he deems her deceptively crafted wiles. Ultimately, this relationship illuminates his true colors
showing the reader that he is not as confident as he would have us think.
Clarence Hervey is a chameleon—he changes in different companies, doing his best to be liked but never being true to
himself. He’s solely concerned with the impressions of others, and he’s insecure and vain, and Maria Edgeworth’s use of
diction, third-person narration, and characters as foils in Belinda go to great lengths to paint him so.