The meaning of life: belonging
Matthew 24:36-44 November 27, 2016
I. How many of you have ever played the
game where you must choose between
two choices like:
A. Would you rather have the superpower
of invisibility or flying?
or
B. Would you rather die slowly or
unexpectedly?
C. Well, here’s one for you.
Would you rather have a happy life or a
meaningful life?
D. Over the weeks of Advent we are going
to be working on that question.
II. This series was inspired by a book that
hasn’t been published yet, but is
scheduled for release in January.
A. The book, written by Emily Esfahani
Smith is entitled, The Power of
Meaning: Crafting a Life That
Matters.
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B. So, since it hasn’t been published
yet, what I know about the book
comes from a blog by Eric Barker. [4
Ways to Find more Meaning in Life, Oct 11, 2016]
III. Emily begins by pointing out that there is
a big difference between “happy” and
“meaningful.”
A. One of the more interesting things
that she points out from research is
the people don’t commit suicide
because they are unhappy,
but because they have no sense of
meaning in their lives.
B. That alone gives us a clue as to
whether you might want to choose
having a happy life or a meaningful
life.
C. It also points out that Epicurus may
have been on the wrong track when
he proposed that “pleasure is the
ultimate goal in life.”
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D. And our Declaration of
Independence might have rather
read that our inalienable rights
should be, life, liberty and the pursuit
of meaning.
IV. The reality, that most of you know if you
think about it, is that not only is there a
big difference between happiness and
meaning, but very often they are in
opposition.
A. For instance, one of the things that
research points to is that, people
with the most meaningful lives were
‘givers.’
But, those with the happiest lives
were ‘takers.’ [Barker]
B. So, see if this research finding
doesn’t ring true:
1. Kids don’t make us happy, but
they give us more meaning.
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2. Numerous studies have found
that “parents often report
statistically significantly lower
levels of happiness, life
satisfaction, marital satisfaction
and mental well-being compared
with non-parents.” [Barker]
3. Been there done that.
4. From baby diapers to teenage
laundry and college parties, kids
are messy, expensive, a major
cause of parental arguing and a
loss of sleep, increased anxiety
and worrying.
5. That’s not my definition of
happiness.
6. But they do give you meaning.
7. And, yes they can also bring you
a great deal of happiness.
So, clearly you don’t have to be
unhappy to have meaning.
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C. But the research also finds that
happiness is fleeting, while meaning
is sustaining.
1. “A life focused exclusively on
happiness is like that container of
ice cream that quickly brings a
huge dose of pleasure – followed
by a stomachache, regret and a
root canal.
On the other hand, a meaningful
life does produce good feelings—
but it takes a while to catch up.”
[Barker]
2. Focusing on happiness rather
than meaning is the whole
premise behind the “American
Dream.”
a) The “American Dream” is all
about getting rich which of
course will make you happy.
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b) But maybe not really, as
explained in a TIME magazine
article entitled, “Why the
American Dream is Making
You Unhappy.”
c) As we shall see, focusing
primarily on being happy is
like assuaging your hunger
with ice cream.
Like cocaine or alcohol it
might wonderfully do the trick
in the short run, but in the
long run some nuts and
vegetables are going to do a
lot more for you.
D. People who seek meaning rather
than happiness report that they felt
“more ‘enriched,’ ‘inspired,’ and ‘part
of something greater than myself.’
They also reported fewer negative
moods.
Over the long term it seemed,
pursuing meaning actually boosted
psychological health.” [Barker]
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V. Given all this, I guess it is fair to say that
I am lobbying for choosing to focus on
producing a meaningful life over a
happy life.
A. If you are with me so far on this choice,
then Emily [hard to say middle name]
Smith provides us with four ways to
increase meaning that go under the
subheadings:
1.
Belonging
2.
Purpose
3.
A Redemptive Story and
4.
Awe
B. We will look at each of these over the
weeks of lent, beginning today with
“Belonging.”
VI. So how is it that Belonging brings us
meaning?
A. Erick Barker, in his blog, asks,
“Remember how it wasn’t unhappiness
that led to suicide but lack of meaning?
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1.
When Emile Durkheim, the father of
sociology, looked at suicide demographics
the numbers initially seemed all over the
place and didn’t make a lot of sense.
2.
For instance: Living in a country in the
midst of war actually reduced suicide.
3.
Being educated increased suicide.
4.
Jewish people were more educated — but
somehow were less likely to kill themselves.
1.
What the heck was going on?
It was about belonging.
War is miserable — but it bonds people
together against an enemy…
Jewish people were educated, but they often
lived in strong communities.
B. This made perfect sense to me.
Back in my Junior High days, which
were probably the low point in my life as
I would lay in bed and contemplate
suicide, there was a real sense that I just
didn’t belong.
1.
Nobody would miss me.
2.
Some would probably be happy if I was
gone.
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3.
I belonged to a church, but it was really my
parents that belonged, not me.
4.
I did have a couple of close friends and I
guess I thought maybe they would miss me;
so I’m still here.
VII.Belonging to a church hopefully is one
of the places where meaning is found.
A. It should be one of those places where,
like in the bar Cheers, everybody
knows your name and people care about
you.
B. It should be a place where like in John
Denver’s song, Poems and Prayers and
Promises, you can talk of poems and
prayers and promises and things that
we believe in and love and be loved and
care.
VIII. That’s a great selling point for church,
but apparently belonging to anything
helps a little bit.
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A. Rotary Club
B. A chorus
C. A team
D. Some people like to belong to groups
that are exclusive and that make them
feel more important and have more
meaning.
E. The more exclusive the better, because
you then have more meaning.
F. You might even agree with Marx’s
position, Groucho Marx that is, when he
said,
"Please accept my resignation.
I don't want to belong to any club that
will accept people like me as a member."
IX. Going back to our scripture passage for
today, I think that’s why the rapture is so
important to some people.
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A. That being said, the Left Behind folks
have it all wrong because if you follow
the logic of the passage we read this
morning, the folks left behind would be
like Noah, who was left behind, not
swept away;
that is they are the ones God wants to
keep around for God’s kindom.
B. The folks who are taken away are those
messing it up for everybody else working
hard to build that kindom
C. But, in any case, I think that desire be
among God’s chosen is that desire to
belong to an exclusive community that
gives you meaning.
1.
You get in and they don’t.
2.
You’re more important.
X. As you might suppose that might cause
some problems for a church that seeks
to be as all-inclusive as possible.
A. You know, if they’ll even take me, well,
maybe it’s not that big of a deal.
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B. If it’s not all that exclusive, well, maybe
it’s not all that important to belong to it,
because it’s not really going to increase
the meaning of my life.
C. Maybe heavens not all that cool either if
just anybody can get in.
XI. This is a challenge, because the advent
of the Kindom of God is the advent of
the all-inclusive community of love
revealed to us by Jesus.
A. If you can only find meaning in
belonging to an exclusive group, then
maybe the kindom of Heaven is not
really what you’re after.
B. I guess it’s up to us to help people feel
like they truly do belong and that they
really are a meaningful part of this
community.
AMEN.
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